A New Beginning Or The Beginning Of The End
by DanH2010
Summary: When Danny moves back to the UK to be with Alice will this be the new beginning she imagines or when old faces reappear will it prove to be the beginning iof the end :/
1. I Give Up

**A New Beginning Or The Beginning Of The End**

**A/N I read the spoilers for episodes 9 and 10 and this idea came to me, I wanna get the first chapter up b4 ep 9, so I will gt this up then I will finish Opposites Attract and finish this. I also have another first chapter of 2 other stories done (my head is so full of ideas atm its unreal) Anyway this is set 6 months after episode 10**

**(If u don't want those 2 episodes spoiled then don't read as it's a MASSIVE give away!)**

**Enjoy Danielle x**

**(X)**

_Danny and Alice were alone in the kitchen at Leopards Den. For once the place was quiet and empty, they were enjoying the rare solitude. Danny took her hand and put his arms around her._

_"Hear that?" he whispered dropping feather light kisses on her neck._

_"What? I don't hear anything." she replied clutching his arms tightly._

_"Exactly!" he looked down and smiled. "Nothing, quiet! The house is empty and we are alone. Best enjoy this while we can coz when Junior gets here alone time will be zilch for the next eighteen years!" he may have sounded grumpy as he said that but Alice knew he was as excited as her for their new arrival. Although the baby wasn't planned, a massive surprise actually both Danny and Alice could hardly wait to hold their baby. Their love would now last forever in the child they had created._

_"Mmm alone." she reached up and twined her arms around his neck. "I like the sound of that."_

_He leaned down and kissed her really gently. He was slowly deepening it when Liv stomped into the house. Danny froze as the door slammed._

_Liv snorted. "God we leave you two alone for 2 minutes! Is it any wonder you ended up pregnant!" she told Alice._

_Alice laughed as Danny released her, she found her hand and smoothing over her slightly bulging abdomen._

_"Liv why are you home." Danny asked stiffly._

_She ground her teeth together._

_"Thabo?" Alice asked._

_Liv growled and crossed her arms._

_"Why don't you go and find him and sort this out." Danny suggested._

_Alice rolled her eyes._

_Thabo walked into the house. "Liv." he said softly._

_"NO!"_

_Danny looked at the ceiling pleading with a higher power._

_"Hey kids why don't you two skidaddle before Danny bursts something." Alice said grinning._

_Liv looked between them disgusted. "Ok." _

_Just as they were about to leave Dupe and Caroline sailed in._

_"Oh for the mother of…..!" Danny yelped._

_"Guess who's home!" Dupe laughed._

_Danny pointed to the door. "Dupe!" __Alice was in stitches by his side._

_"Who can go to a spa when I have a fight to plan? We can't leave anything to chance Trevanion, we must win!"_

_Danny closed his eyes and dropped his head._

_"Our 5 seconds of peace was nice." Alice whispered in his ear._

_He heard Dupe stomping around the study every few minutes erupting with a war cry. Thabo was trying to placate an irate Liv, somehow he upset her and Nomsa was now in the kitchen muttering about her pots and pans."This place is mad!" Danny moaned. _

_"It's mad but it's home…" Alice told him kissing his cheek…_

(X)

As Alice finished that statement Danny found himself being woken by an insistent buzzing. He was loathe to leave the dream, leave his home. He knew as soon as he opened his eyes he would be in London. The thought depressed him. He sat up and turned the clock off. The ringing ceased. He looked around the room, the ceiling and skirting boards were freshly painted. The whole house was newly decorated. As soon as we decorate it'll feel like home Alice promised. Yeah well it had been decorated for weeks and was it home? No! They had lived here for six months and he was genuinely losing his mind. There were too many people here, hustling and bustling by not even bothered whether they bumped into you. The noise was deafening, the traffic infuriating, the pollution choked you. Danny had thought Jo'burg was busy but not this busy! How on earth did Alice prefer this to Africa? I mean the worst was the weather, was London ever warm?

And the house, his home? Yeah right. Alice picked it coz he didn't care! He wanted Leopards Den but he didn't get a choice coz she got what SHE wanted! He loved her, really he did but Christ what was he doing here? He wasn't a city vet any more he was an exotic animals vet. The most exotic thing he got in the surgery so far was a freaking parrot and it bit him! He flopped back down onto the bed seeing a spot on the ceiling he missed while painting. He turned on his side his back to Alice. Africa had got into his blood just as Dupe had said it did and the UK, he hated it. He had tried to make the most of a bad situation but at the moment the only redeeming feature so far was that he and Alice were together….and that was becoming old very quickly. He felt Alice turn over beside him, he was only here because of HER! He pushed the blanket off his body and rose. Decided to go check on little Robbie.

He walked down the small landing into a baby blue room decorated with cars and lorries. He walked to the cot and looked at his little boy. Robert Daniel Trevanion. When he'd been born Danny had thought he was the perfect combination of mummy and daddy. That was how Danny always thought of him even when Alice had been pregnant. Him and her combined to make something more precious than life. The blanket had slipped down Danny pulled it up tucking him in gently. He knew that if he awoke he'd open his green eyes, which had been blue at birth, and squawk at him angrily. He smoothed his hand down his head, his hair turning to a lighter shade of brown. Then there was the stubborn Collins chin. The one his sister had, his Uncle Rowan had it and couldn't forget when mummy had her stubborn head on. She'd raise it and that was when Danny knew there was no budging her, like every time he mentioned going home! To chase away thoughts he continued to look down at his son. He'd been right that long ago afternoon when Alice had told them she was pregnant. It had all came flooding back to him, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had amazing kids….he just wasn't where he wanted to be.

"Does little man need anything?" Alice asked.

He turned and saw her wrapped in a white robe. "No he's still asleep."

"Danny…."

"I need to shower, I have to go to work." he walked straight passed her towards the bathroom.

Any other time both of them up early they would have grasped the time with both hands, now they found they had a lot of time alone but never seemed to use it anymore. Alice turned and followed him.

He was already in the bathroom with the door closed.

She walked right in. "How long is this going to last?" she was sick of this crap, for the last week he had been withdrawn, barely speaking to her and it was doing her head in!

"What?" he asked adjusting the dial on the shower, not even looking at her.

"Everything! We don't talk anymore. We don't touch. You can barely stand to be in the same room as me. You come to bed so late that I'm asleep and your up and out before I wake up!"

"I'm adjusting you said I'd do that remember?" he couldn't resist the sly dig.

Alice narrowed her eyes.

"If that is everything I'd like to shower, close the door behind you yeah?"

Alice was about to blast him when a cry from Robbie pierced the air.

"Me or you?" Danny asked.

"I'll see to him." she replied.

"Yeah you make the decisions as always." he muttered.

Alice's blue eyes were flaming. "You know what I preferred it when you weren't talking to me!" then slammed the bathroom door.

He followed her and opened it. "Fine by me!" he spat at her back then closed the door.

(X)

Danny emerged from their shared bedroom 30 minutes later in jeans and a white t-shirt. He dropped his dirty pyjamas into the washing basket by the machine. It was 7:30, Charlotte was up, she wore a black blazer, white blouse and an unfastened tie draped around her shoulders.

"Good morning Charlie." he told her with false brightness.

"What's so good about it?" she muttered. She hadn't been the same since talking to Dupe last night.

"It'll get better sweetie." he looked at Alice. "You're just adjusting." he approached the coffee maker and poured himself a cup.

Alice dropped a plate of toast onto the table rather heavily obviously annoyed.

Danny ignored it and took a seat beside Robbie's high chair. "Ah porridge, Robbie's favourite." he scooped up a spoon full, open wide for daddy." he made a aeroplane noise.

Robbie smiled and clapped.

"This is station master daddy are we cleared for landing?" he asked in a funny voice.

Robbie opened wide and Danny placed the spoon in his mouth "Good boy!" he praised. Weaning was hard but at 7 months Robbie was doing great!

Alice sat opposite him. "I can finish that."

"It's fine." Danny replied scooping up more porridge.

"Thought you had to go to work."

"Day off, I swapped with Lucy."

"Your still off on Friday right?" Alice asked.

"No."

Alice was enraged. "But we were supposed to be…."

"Lucy need it off, it was important." he interrupted.

"We have planned that long weekend for weeks!"

"No Alice you did!" he snapped. "Do I want to go away anywhere? No, so off you go, if Charlie wants to go she can if she doesn't, her, me and Robbie will have the time together won't we little man!" he made faces at his child.

Alice was almost shaking with her anger.

"Plus why would we want to go away anywhere? We have London!" he said voice full of sarcasm. "Nothing beats London!"

She opened her mouth to argue. "You know what? I give up!" she stomped off.

Charlotte too left the table mobile phone in hand. No doubt he'd be getting a call from Rosie later. Danny had saw her texting discreetly. To quote Alice, "I give up." he whispered. Since he and Robbie were alone, Danny finished feeding him his breakfast.

(X)

Alice was in their room absolutely seething. She pulled open the wardrobe and yanked out her suitcase. Who did he think he was? She had put so much work into that mini holiday. She thought by getting away they might be able to get their marriage back to where it was before. He was making it impossible! She was rapidly losing patience with everything! She reached inside for her clothes and saw Robbie's blue dummy on the floor by her foot, she hesitated. She couldn't take Robbie away from his dad. Charlie needed him too. She placed the suitcase away once again. What was she gonna do? The man downstairs wasn't her husband and to be painfully truthful she was slowly beginning to dislike him…..that thought scared her. They had promised til death to them part…..was her marriage dying?

**A/N Danny isn't dealing well with the change, but he shouldn't be provoking Alice :( That last line was quite sad :(**

**ok people would u like me to finish opp att or i can write some of of this, you can pick :) x**


	2. Bruises

Alice was driving Charlotte to school. She was fidgeting with her seat belt. "Mum are you and Danny ok?"

"Fine!" Alice told her too quickly, her smile fake.

"I don't believe you!" Charlotte's said looking at her.

Alice exhaled. "We're going through a rough patch right now that's all. All couples have them, remember when we moved into Mara, a few weeks later me and Danny were back together happy. Don't worry."

Charlotte was silent looking out of the car window.

Alice wished she believed what she was saying, she and Danny were steadily going from bad to worse. When she returned downstairs from nearly packing her stuff he Charlotte and Robbie were in the living room. He had kissed the top of Charlottes head then left the room with the baby, neither of them saying a word. They didn't even look at each other!

"I miss my home." Charlotte whispered.

"It'll get better sweetie, we're just settling."

"Danny misses home too." Charlotte replied.

"Charlie London is just different." Alice glanced at her. Charlottes green eyes radiated with sadness. She had saw the same look in Danny's eyes often. "Just coz it's different doesn't mean its worse you know. It's just different." her eyes were back on the road. "Aren't you looking forward to going away?"

Charlotte shrugged.

"Cheer up sweetheart."

Charlotte looked at the gates of hell as her mum pulled the car to a stop outside her school.

"You got your dinner money? Homework?"

Charlotte nodded.

"Off you go then, have a good day." kissed her head.

Charlotte grabbed her bag from the floor of the car then climbed out and slammed the door. Made the trek to her form tutor, alone.

5 minutes later she walked into the room.

"You are late Trevanion!" her tutor boomed as she walked in.

"Sorry sir." she replied no emotion in her tone.

"I want a page of lines for tomorrow, 'I will not be late for Mr Daniels.'

"Ok sir."

"I don't like the way you said that, make that two pages."

Charlotte didn't reply.

"Make it three for ignorance." he told her haughtily.

Charlotte was sick of him making her life hell! It was immediate, first he had been all smiley and nice until she told him name was Charlotte Trevanion, ever since then he had been a first class prick! She glared at him, her eyes slowly turning black.

"Four." he told her smugly.

Her temper was rising. "Why not make it five or six?" she spat.

His eyes zeroed on hers. "Are you back chatting me?"

Charlotte raised her eyebrows. "What am I not making it clear enough for you or can you not pull your head out of your ass long enough to understand me?"

Mr Daniels went into complete shock, she had never spoke back to him before so an outburst of that magnitude shocked him.

Someone behind her kicked her chair. "Trevanion." someone hissed behind her.

She turned around. "And you go curl up and die as well!"

"Sir did you hear that she threatened me!" Carley spoke up.

"Actually I didn't threaten you but HE probably didn't hear that either! Did you?"

"Get out of my room NOW!" he had finally recovered enough to speak.

"Why don't you make me?" she leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms.

"I'm speaking to the head of house about you, you have been nothing but trouble."

"Fuck you!" she shouted mutinously.

Carley was laughing behind her.

Charlotte stood up and spun. "And don't think you're funny either!" she reached across and grabbed a hand full of her collar yanked her forward as hard as she could. Carleys head bounced off the desk.

Carley stood up, Charlottes hand was already raised fisted tightly as she moved it backwards she felt her elbow impact something hard. She turned her head and saw Mr Daniels clutching his face blood streaming from his nose.

"Your in BIG trouble girl." he hissed.

She stared him down. "Like I said before fuck you!"

He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her from the classroom.

(X)

Alice was walking around a shopping centre. She was supposed to go home and sort stuff for her part time job but she knew Danny was there and if Robbie was asleep then they would argue and she would rather not. Her phone rang and she saw Danny's name flashing. She didn't want to talk to him right now. If it was important he'd text her.

Danny set Robbie's pram up and sat him inside it with his dummy. His eyes closed as soon as Danny rubbed the blanket beside his cheek. He had tried to get in touch with Alice, she had obviously taken the long route home and was ignoring his calls, all he could reach was her voicemail. The school had phoned. Charlotte had been involved in a serious incident in school and could one of her parents come down to speak to the head. Danny had immediately sorted Robbie and off they went. He wheeled the stroller into reception, saw Charlotte sat on a chair with her head down.

He knelt down in front of her. She didn't look at him so he put his hand on her shoulder. "You ok?"

She shook her head.

"What happened?"

A teacher walked out. "Mr Trevanion….."

"Wait a second." he didn't look up. "Charlie?"

"Speak to Mr Daniels." she told him sadly.

Danny stood up and looked at the teacher. "Ok."

"She assaulted me."

Danny looked between Charlotte and Mr Daniels. "What?"

"She…."

"Look I know what I heard, but it isn't possible she's tiny."

"It doesn't change a thing."

"Charlie?" Danny asked.

Charlie shrugged, she had nothing to say.

Danny looked at the teacher and was struck by this feeling. "Do I know you?" he asked, suddenly it dawned on him. "Is your name Frankie?"

The teacher nodded stiffly.

"Well well well Frankie Daniels. It's been a while."

"Not long enough!" he hissed then glared at Charlotte. "I was hoping to see your wife."

"So you recognised Charlotte's name?" Danny asked.

"Hard not to, it isn't a common name."

"So you're a teacher now, I seem to remember you as a bully back in the day. Why? Coz you had all of us running scared coz your dad boxed."

Charlottes head snapped up.

"That was years ago, you are here because your daughter assaulted me."

"Look are you for real? Your are over 6 foot! You act like she came up and punched you, did she?"

"No she elbowed me."

"Charlotte?" Danny asked.

"It was an accident but Danny he picks on me! I was late for class by about two minutes and he gave me a four A4 pages of lines!"

Danny looked at him. "Four A4 pages is a bit excessive."

"She was defiant!"

Charlotte stood up. "NO I wasn't! I apologised! Someone was 10 minutes late last week and you said nothing after they apologised."

"Different circumstances." Mr Daniels said quickly.

"Yeah coz it's me you hate me!" she raged.

The headmistress walked out.

"Charlotte sweetheart calm down." Danny coaxed.

Charlotte looked at Danny and nodded.

The headmistress motioned to a room, Danny turned the pram and he and Charlotte walked inside. They sat down. Danny peeked at Robbie and saw he was still fast asleep.

"Mr Trevanion assaulting a pupil is a serious matter. Assaulting a teacher is worse. Your daughter did both."

Charlotte crossed her arms tightly.

"Pupil?" he asked Charlie.

"Carley Dodds." she muttered.

He looked at the head.

"We are suspending her for the rest of the week. We understand she is not only adapting to a new school but a new country which is why we aren't expelling her. When she returns next week she will be in the trinity unit."

Danny frowned.

"Pupils who have extra needs, either emotionally, educationally or socially are taught in there." she elaborated.

Danny nodded. "Are we free to go?"

"As soon as Charlotte apologises."

Daniels walked in on cue.

"NO!" she said stubbornly.

"Charlotte." Danny told her curtly.

"But Danny he picks on me!" she told him pleading with him to understand.

"You hurt him." he countered.

"He hurt me!" she protested.. "He grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room. He manhandled me!"

Danny was on his feet. "What?"

"She wouldn't leave I escorted her….."

"Did you put one hands on my daughter?" he asked coldly.

"To escort her…"

"That is completely unacceptable!" Danny raged. "Charlotte gets your stuff." he looked at Daniels. "Your lucky your not in the street, anyone lays a hand on one of my kids would get a smack!"

"Her apology!" the head said.

"Is he gonna apologise too?" Danny asked.

"No." Daniels said smugly.

"Then you can stick it!"

He opened the door used his foot to keep it open while he pushed the pram through it.

Charlie followed.

(X)

Danny and Charlie were at home. Robbie was having fun in his entertainer, engrossed in his mini piano. Charlotte sat on the sofa TV remote in hand flicking through channels.

Danny walked in a towel slung across his shoulder. "What do you want for dinner?"

"A toastie will do." she knew she'd only have a few bites of anything he made, she didn't feel much like eating lately.

Danny looked at her worry creased his brow. "You're eating less, are you ok?"

Charlotte muted the TV. "Are you and mum gonna split up?"

"No!" he said far too quickly.

Her face fell. "That's what I thought."

"Is that what is bothering you?"

"I don't want to go back to how me and mum were before, I need you."

He sat beside her. "I'm always here for you. You're a Trevanion now once your one of us its for life. Look at Liv!"

She wrapped her arms around him. Danny was taken back to carrying her up to the hut when Alice first arrived at Leopard Den. Her calling him daddy. He wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. "Anything else?"

"I need to go home Danny." she admitted a whisper. "I feel like an alien here, the odd girl out. The piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit. Everyone makes fun of me coz I don't understand what they say, they use all this slang and I feel so stupid. And they make fun of me coz I sound different to them. I just snapped today I couldn't take it anymore."

He knew how she felt this place didn't fit him either. "We'll go to school and sort that out ok?" he rubbed her hair gently. "And as for the rest, Charlie this place is home." God saying that had nearly choked him! He had to show Charlie he was behind Alice, even if he didn't want to be here.

She looked up at him, expression troubled. "I thought you hated it too."

"It isn't Leopards Den but it isn't all bad, we just have to try."

She nodded sadly.

"So dinner?" he asked hoping she'd ask for a proper meal.

"Toastie." she replied, those two bites she had thought she'd take were reduced to one or maybe none at all.

(X)

Alice entered the house at two. Saw Charlotte lain on her stomach playing with Robbie on the floor. A toastie untouched by her side. She frowned. "Why aren't you at school?"

"I got suspended." she returned to playing with Robbie's fingers. His giggles filled the air.

"Suspended?" Alice parroted.

"Danny came to get me."

"What happened?" Alice squeaked.

"I hit two people."

"You hit people? WHY?"

Charlotte sat up. "Coz I hate it here! After that I was dragged away, look at my arm."

There were purple bruises up her arm. "Who done that?" Alice seethed, ready to declare war.

"Daniels was really angry so…"

She heard Daniel and saw red. "DANNY!" she yelled suddenly enraged.

"Mum?" Charlotte frowned. "What you….."

Danny appeared drying his hands on a towel. "Has Robbie been ok?"

Charlotte nodded.

He looked at Alice. "You shouted?"

"Who do you think you are? You have no right laying one finger on my child, look at what you did to her!"

Danny's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"Mum!" Charlotte interrupted.

Alice wasn't listening. "I mean c'mon you're not even her dad!"

He glared. "She just has my name then?"

"No, she has MY name. Unfortunately I share it with you!"

"You want it changed?" he spat.

They glared at each other.

"I just might seeing as you hurt my daughter!"

His eyes darkened further.

Charlotte stood up and grabbed her mums hand. "It wasn't him!

Robbie unnerved by all the shouting began to cry.

Danny picked him up, he shot Alice a dirty look. "Listen to the child you're so sure I attacked." he left.

Charlotte stood there.

"Baby if he hurt you…."

"He didn't, it was Mr Daniels my form tutor. Danny was ready to kill him for doing that to me, he hadn't even seen the bruises yet."

Alice sat down. 6 months ago if Charlotte had mentioned a Daniel hitting her she wouldn't have thought it was Danny…..now he was the first person that came to mind. What did that say to her about her marriage?

"Why did you think Danny did it mum? I never call him Daniel. He wouldn't hurt me."

Coz he was so different here. He had changed and she didn't know her husband anymore.

"Danny loves me, and mum, he is my dad no matter what you say."

Alice exhaled. "I'm gonna go…." she walked off upstairs in search of her husband. Found Danny in their room changing Robbie.

"Checking to make sure I haven't started early on little man?" he hissed.

"I jumped to conclusions." she admitted hesitantly.

"You thought I'd HIT her!" his voice full of anger. "You said I'm not her dad! In all the fights we had you've never said that!"

"You've changed." Alice began.

"So have you! Thing is I don't accuse you of beating up the kids!" he put a clean nappy on Robbie keeping his voice as calm as he could. "So how long til I'm not Robbie's dad either?" he told her nastily.

"That's not fair you know you're his dad!"

"As far I was concerned I was Charlotte's dad too. Didn't matter that she doesn't share DNA with me I've been her dad for the last 18 months and her male role model years before that! She is as much my daughter as Rosie and Liv!"

"Look I'm sorry ok?"

"No you're not. If you were it would have been the first thing you said." he picked Robbie up. "Any more accusations?"

Alice stared at him. "One or two."

"Well I don't want to here them, write them down in a letter and I'll get to them when I can. I'm off to spend time with the kids. Am I allowed to spend time with Charlotte, you know seeing as I'm not her dad."

Alice looked at her son in his dad's arms and resisted the urge to swear at Danny. "What happened to you?" she asked looking at him now.

Danny's eyes locked onto hers. "You!" he snapped, then carried Robbie from the room.

**A/N Everything with charlie gets worse :( and danny and Alice defo aren't getting better, they need a heart to heart!**


	3. Over

"Dad Charlotte has been texting me, she's really worried about you and Alice."

Danny sat in the living room enjoying the silence of the house... until his daughter rang him that is. Robbie had crashed straight away after a hard day of playing. Charlotte stayed in her room since the Danny and Alice incident. He could hear her pacing about in there now. He and said woman had spoke at all since them. She was in their room doing something….and he was considering sleeping on the sofa tonight.

"Really Rosie, I don't know why she is worried."

"Don't lie to me dad. You and Alice are having problems."

"No, the only problem I have is not living in South Africa." he told her nonchalantly.

"And you blame Alice for that don't you?"

"No, I made the choice to move here, to be with her Robbie and Charlie." where else was he gonna be? She was his wife!

"What if the baby wasn't there, what if Charlie wasn't there. Would you have still followed Alice?"

The automatic answer was yes. And the truth was yes too, except he wouldn't have hung around this long with all the arguments. Again he silently asked himself the question, if the kids weren't here and if he knew it was gonna be like this then no, he wouldn't have came. He exhaled. "Rosie I still love Alice."

"That isn't what I asked." she replied softly.

"That is why I came, coz I love her and I want us to work."

"Sort it out then dad. I thought you and Alice were really good together and I know how hard divorce can be."

Divorce! God way to put a downer on him! "Look Rosie can I speak to Dupe." he couldn't talk to Rosie about this stuff but Dupe….

"Ok dad talk soon."

"Bye, take care of yourself." he replied.

"Will do." then he heard her shouting for Dupe.

"Hello?" came a gruff voice minutes later.

"I can't talk to her anymore." spilled out before he could stop it.

"Huh? Who is this?"

"Dupe it's Danny."

"Oh, so you and Alice are having problems?"

"Yeah." Danny breathed. "I still love her, when will I not?…."

"But?" Dupe coaxed.

"I'm just so angry about being HERE not over there with everyone."

"Well Danny what are you going to do about it?"

"I have no idea, Alice is happy here, trying to make us all settle which is irritating me." he exhaled audibly. "How are things with Ed?"

"His Missus is a piece of work, full on black widow but I'm working on it."

"Dupe don't do anything that is gonna piss Ed off, he loves his wife."

"Me and Ed are fine, he's great…..don't tell him I said that. He and Rosie have the surgery running like a well oiled machine!"

So he wasn't missed at all? "How are you and Caroline?"

"The woman keeps on hiding my whiskey, that's ok I know where she puts it." Dupe chuckled.

Danny just wasn't feeling the joy at the moment. "Nomsa?"

"Cooking up a storm, she threatened to poison me this morning but not at lunch time. Guess I'm losing my touch."

"So nothing new?" Danny was completely dejected.

"Everyone misses you." Dupe told him. "It isn't the same. Liv hasn't been the same since you've been gone. She and Fatani have broke up. They wanted different things, and Thabo showed up."

"Are she and Thabo back together?"

"No, they are friends, but Fatani was worried about them picking up where they left off. He and Thabo almost came to blows and Liv decided that neither of them was who she wanted. I noticed her and Thabo were close though."

"Dupe just leave her to it yeah." Danny's voice forlorn.

"I was going to…..you sound tired man." and Dupe knew why. "Sort it out with Alice, talk to her."

"I already told you I can't Dupe."

"Well if you don't then you'll get exactly what you want, you'll come back here….alone."

"There's my little ray of sunshine." Danny said dryly.

"Hey man I'm being serious."

"I know." and Danny was trying not to contemplate that possibility.

"I know you two will be able to work this out. You both know how much you need each other, each of you make the other whole."

"She accused me of hitting Charlie Dupe, and I don't mean a little tap I mean bruises! I've never hit a child in my life! I wouldn't. She was so quick to assume it was me!"

Dupe exhaled. "That pollution is messing with your brains. You two love each other!"

Danny rested his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.

"How's little man?" Dupe asked.

Danny finally had a reason to smile. "He's amazing, reminds me so much of Rosie at that age, full of smiles. I'm gutted you haven't had a chance to meet him in person yet."

"I saw the latest pics, Caroline has them all over the house on every wall! He doesn't half look like you."

Danny shook his head then remembered Dupe was thousands of miles away. "He's far better looking than I will ever be, he has his mother in him for that."

"Well I know that!"

Danny laughed softly, he stopped when he thought he heard Alice walking down the stairs.

"Talk to her Danny!" Dupe urged.

She didn't appear so he replied. "I dunno."

"Do it!"

"We'll argue." Danny countered.

"If that happens then leave the room. C'mon Danny I didn't work so hard on getting you two together for you to throw it away over something stupid!"

"Huh?"

"Oh you don't know do you? I spent weeks trying to convince Alice to tell you how she felt, then I bit the bullet and told you myself. You almost lost each other by not talking then! Don't do it, don't lose her! You'll never forgive yourself if you do. You'll regret it, maybe not straight away but one day…." Dupe trailed off.

Danny knew he was talking sense…..something he never thought he'd admit. Dupe was uncanny when it came to matters of the heart. "I'll phone again in a few days."

"And you'll tell me you and Alice are sorted…..just not too much info."

Danny seriously doubted it but….."I'll try."

"Come over soon. Bring the baby."

"I will, just wait til you meet him Dupe, he's one of a kind."

"Takes after his mum then?"

"Maybe." then Danny disconnected and decided to go shower….and collect some bedding.

(X)

Alice was checking messages on her phone. She had a few from Danny regarding Charlotte and the school incident. Then she had one off the school regarding Danny,

_Mrs Trevanion this phone call is to inform you of two incidents which occurred in school today. Your daughter Charlotte assaulted a pupil then member of staff. Her father then came in and proceeded to threaten the teacher involved."_

Alice's eyes widened.

"_We'd like to speak to you regarding both incidents, your child cannot attend this school until this matter is sorted. We look forward to hearing from you."_

"O great!" she whispered. What was Danny playing at sabotaging Charlotte's school, maybe he thought they'd go back home…..not likely! She was sat on her bed resisting the urge to go and yell at Danny. Shouting wasn't helping and they were thankfully keeping their distance. You know what, she wanted a bath, hopefully her cares would melt away or disappear in the steam. She could hope right? She walked towards the bathroom and found the door locked. She waited a few minuets then knocked.

Danny opened the door. "Hi." he said neutrally. "Do you need to be in here?"

Alice was surprised he was being so calm, she was sure if they spoke again he'd ignore her or continue with the snide comments. "Um yeah, I was gonna run a bath."

"I was gonna shower but go on." he told her softly.

"No it's fine." she countered.

"Really." he tried to walk passed her.

"I mean it, its ok." she told him.

"I'm trying to be nice." he snapped. "Will you just go in the bath?"

"I don't want one anymore."

"Why?"

"Coz I didn't know you wanted a shower, if I knew that I would have waited." she admitted.

"Well you don't have to." he urged.

"Why do you always have to start an argument?" she asked voice raised slightly.

"Me? O yeah I get it, your angry coz you've made a decision and I'm not following it!"

She walked to the bathroom door and slammed it. "You gonna bring that up every time aren't you?"

"You want to make a decision about what I can and can't say too?" he asked heatedly.

"Jesus Danny!" she shouted.

They stood glaring.

Alice shook her head. "You know what? I'm passed caring anymore so Danny go in the shower or don't!"

"I tried to be cordial Alice, you started this." he told her as she approached the door.

She froze and looked back. "I started this?" she spun her face enraged, "You have a cheek! Ever since we moved here you have never missed an opportunity to let your displeasure about being here known!"

"Well I hate it here!"

"No one made you come!"

"My marriage would have been over if I stayed in South Africa! And what about the kids? Charlotte and Robbie need their dad! I had no choice."

"Well now you have a choice to go back." she told him pointedly.

"If I do then my marriage is over!"

"Where do you think we're heading to right now?" she seethed.

"You'd just love that! I wanna know what your angle is, I mean you haven't tried to change my mind about being happy here!"

"I think I did." she argued.

"No you didn't."

"I did! With that holiday that you sabotaged…..o and by the way trying to get Charlie kicked out of school won't work either!"

"What do you mean?" his face confused.

"You threatened her teacher, she can't go back til they have spoke to a normal parent….you know someone other than you!"

"Did you see what he did to her arm, yeah those bruises you accused me of causing. I wanted to swing for him! I only said that coz he pushed her around. See Alice this time was a grown man not a kid…..progress." he added snidely.

She clenched her jaw. "And you bring up more, I apologised for that!

"How could you think I'd hit her, I love her!"

"We're going in circles. We already argued this!"

"Well decide to stop arguing then. We both know we do what you want."

Alice had hit her limit. "Why don't you get the hell out of this house and out of my life?"

"You want me to leave?"

"Yes." she told him, no hesitation.

"No problem." he left the bathroom.

She sank down on the toilet seat and put her head in her hands. Her marriage was over.

(X)

Danny walked into his…..Alice's room, opened the wardrobe and pulled on some jeans and s t-shirt. He spotted his trainers and pulled them on too. This was it. His marriage was dead. She had asked him to leave. How could she do that to him? To them? But if this is how she wanted it then fine! He jogged down the stairs and grabbed his coat off the rack. Pulled it on jerkily. He took his house keys so he could collect his stuff then went back upstairs visited Robbie in his room, kissed his head gently. "No matter what I'll always be here for you," he promised softly as he gently caressed his head.

He left the room when he heard Alice's voice float across the air. It sounded like she was crying. He felt a knife pierce his chest. His chest hurt more as he approached the bathroom door and heard her clearly trying to cry softly. He rubbed his face reached for the handle…..his hand hovered over it.

She did this to you both Danny! A voice in his head told him. She asked you to leave.

He still loved her though and couldn't bear to hear her cry. His mind replied. He was about to open the door when her next statement stopped him.

"I can't live with him when he's like this. I hate it."

His hand dropped mechanically. So she was blaming all of this on him? Oh this was great, she was an angel and he was the bad guy? Sod this! He headed for Charlie's bedroom, knocked then walked in….saw it was empty.

He frowned. "Charlie?" he walked down the stairs. "Charlie!" he checked the whole of the downstairs twice. His worry increasing he jogged up stairs back into her room - empty. He went to Robbie's, then his and Alice's….she wasn't anywhere. She was gone! He ran to the bathroom and burst inside, eyes wide, chest heaving. He didn't waste a moment for Alice to say anything.

"Charlie is gone!" he panicked.

**A/N :/ Charlie has disappeared :( and they finally bit the bullet...keep reading tho! x**


	4. I Love You

Alice sat on the toilet seat her head in her hands, her marriage was over. She couldn't believe it! She had thought she and Danny were made to last, that he was her one. That no matter what obstacle stood in their way they could overcome it as long as they were together. Her heart was breaking, she loved her husband she didn't honestly think there was a time she wouldn't love him but at the minute she couldn't even look at him! She heard him walking around and felt her heart break even more. She pulled her phone out needing someone to talk to. She scrolled down her contacts list until she found her brothers number. It rang.

"Hello sis, its late for you to be ringing."

"Rowan I need help. My marriage is over."

"What?"

"Me and Danny have split up, he's leaving as I speak."

"No way!" he spluttered, he was the one man Rowan hadn't warned covertly! "I can't believe it." he gasped. "When I had dinner at yours, what? A month ago you two were as loved up as ever!"

"You know I can always act happy when I need to Rowan." she murmured then sniffed. Tears were falling fast and she breathed trying to control them.

"Are you crying Alice?"

"No." she lied and inhaled.

"He made you cry?" Rowan seethed. "Just wait….."

"No Rowan…." she exhaled.

So she still loved Danny then, figured Rowan thought with disgust. "What happened?"

"A combination of things, mostly he hates living in London. He only moved here for the kids." she was silent for a second gathering herself. "I can't live with him when he's like this. I hate it."

"Oh Alice." he murmured.

They were silent.

"He gone yet?"

"No, I can hear him walking around." she cleared her throat.

"When he's gone make yourself some hot chocolate and go to bed."

"How am I supposed to sleep without him? I did it before when he was at Leopards Den but he was still mine then, I'm losing him Rowan and its tearing me apart."

"You want me to come over?"

"No, its ok." she cleared her throat.

Rowan was secretly grateful he had a lady friend coming over after work!

"Look Rowan I'll let you go, I just needed someone to talk to."

"Try and sleep you'll feel better." he urged.

"Won't change a thing!" her voice broken. "I'll still have lost him!"

"I'll be over first thing tomorrow I promise."

"Thanks Rowan, I don't tell you this enough but I do love you."

"Love you too sis." he murmured.

Then Alice disconnected, and Rowan wanted to find Danny and punch him in the face repeatedly.

(X)

Charlotte rode her bike in the dark. She had to get away from them! All this arguing was doing her head in! all she could hear was Danny and her mum trying to win and she wanted to scream! Didn't they know what it did to her hearing them talk like that to each other? She had grew up with them being so close, she had always thought that she wanted a relationship like theirs, where at times they were the only two people in the world…..and now they hated each other.

She knew they were gonna break up and she was gonna lose her dad….she didn't want to lose Danny she needed him. She didn't want to have to decide who to live with either, so she was going. She pedalled faster her heart pounding. Ok it wasn't her best idea to come out in the dark, but what else could she do? Go mad while listening to them count off the things they didn't like about each other? She had hid away in her room trying to get away from it and so what did they do? They came upstairs to argue there!

Tears filled her eyes. She just had to get away! She was going to the one person who always relaxed her, the one who played games and let her win. The one who listened to her problems…

(X)

Alice sat on the toilet set wondering either Danny was gone yet, she heard pounding feet across the landing headed in her direction. Great round 2!

The door burst open.

She opened her mouth….

"Charlotte is gone!" Danny told her.

The words died in her throat. "What?"

"She's gone Alice!" Alice watched the panic inside Danny steadily rising. "She's not in the house."

All the colour drained from Alice's face, she ran from the bathroom shouting her daughters name.

Danny's head was in his hands. There was ringing in his ears. Without warning he sprinted from the bathroom down the stairs and out of the front door. It took him a few tries but he finally found his car keys and put the key in the ignition. The car roared to life. He winded the window down and backed from the drive, shouting Charlottes name.

Alice searched the house, a blur passed her and she saw Danny run from the house, and climb into the car. So he was leaving her to deal with this one her own? He was right though, there was no way Charlotte was here! She had run away, she was a missing child. First thing she had to do was phone the police!

(X)

Rowan was lighting candles around the living room when his door bell rang he smiled, his lady friend was right on time. He approached the door and saw a smaller silhouette then he expected. He pulled it opened and saw Charlotte stood there arms wrapped around herself.

"Charlie oh my god what are you doing here at this time? Did you come alone?"

She looked up at him, her green eyes awash with tears. "Please don't make me go back there, I don't want to hear them arguing anymore."

He couldn't resist the look in her eyes. "C'mon sweetie." he took her inside. Saw her on the sofa and grabbed his quilt. Gave her a drink of milk.

"I'm gonna ring your mum."

"Don't please she'll take me home."

"Be quiet and I'll tell her your asleep."

She nodded.

(X)

Danny arrived back at the house 45 minutes later, he walked in shoulders slumped. Alice was sat waiting for him.

"You find her?"

He shook his head.

"I was gonna ring the police but I thought you'd bring her home." she squeaked. "I guess I'd better….." her voice cracked and broke. "Where's my little girl Danny?"

Danny came to her and wrapped his arms around her. "She'll be ok."

She yanked from his grasp.

"Like you even care!" her blue eyes black with anger. "You left!" She shouted "I was alone! I needed YOU! Why don't you just walk out again when I need you!"

"You know I love Charlotte as much as you do and I know your lashing out coz you are worried." he said calmly. "So I am going in the kitchen to make some tea and to collect myself. I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that to me but say anything else Alice and I might walk out of that door." he warned icily.

Alice was tempted to tell him to do that. She held her tongue.

Danny walked into the kitchen and closed his eyes as pain engulfed him. There was a low buzzing surrounding him. It took him an age to realise that it was his phone ringing. He saw it was Rowan. He walked out of the back door and connected the call. "Look Rowan I can't talk….."

"Charlie is at my house."

Danny felt his heart stop in his chest. "What?"

"She is with me, I called Alice's phone and the house but no one picked up. I debated on calling you I thought you might had left."

Danny was barely breathing. He ran in the house not listening to Rowan. He found Alice dialling a number.

"She's at Rowans, he's on the phone." he handed the phone.

The phone at her ear Alice immediately asked. "She's safe?" Alice was silent a second then burst into tears.

Danny felt his throat growing tight and swallowed thickly. He watched as tears fell down Alice's face as she spoke to her brother. In the past he wouldn't have hesitated to go to her but now he had no idea what to do. He shoved his hands in his pockets. He decided the best thing to do would be to walk away so he left her to fuss with something in the living room. A minute later Alice followed him and handed him his phone. Her eyes were red rimmed. "Here." her voice scratchy from the force of her tears.

He rook the phone and pushed it in his pocket. "Thanks, I can stay here with Robbie if you want to go pick her up."

"She's staying at Uncle Rowans tonight. I said I'd go there tomorrow to pick her up. Rowan needs his weekly Robbie fix too."

Danny nodded. "I'll just….." he pointed to the door.

"Stay!" Alice said impulsively. "What I said about you getting out of my life. I didn't mean it."

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"Me too. For everything." he went to her and hugged her tightly. She closed her eyes and clung to him, never wanting to let him go. They stood holding each other for so long. Alice pulled away eventually. He pushed some hair from her face. Neither said a word, she simply held his hand and took him into their room. They dressed for bed and lay together, like they hadn't since they moved here. Once again Danny pulled her close, her back against his chest. He arms was around her waist holding her against him. He pressed a kiss to her head, a feeling he'd missed flickering inside him. "I love you."

Alice closed her eyes and stifled a small cry. He hadn't said those words to her in so long. She twined her fingers with his."I love you too."

Sleep claimed them into no time.

**A/N awww so they are close again...will it be the same in the morning when emotions aren't running as high? hmmmmm x**


	5. For Better or Worse?

**A/N RECAP Charlie ran away after hearing Danice and Danice were worried about her, she went to Rowans…..Danice made a truce and fell asleep together…..next morning**

**(X)**

Alice was lost in dreams when she felt a cold chill. She turned over expecting to see Danny lain in bed beside her, smiling like he used to. Instead she found his side of the bed cold and empty….indicating he had been awake and out of bed a while. She rubbed her face and sat up. She heard his voice over the baby monitor she smiled as he chatted to their son about farmyard animals. Apparently at work today he was off to a farm. She got up, found Danny dressing Robbie in denim dungarees and a white t-shirt.

"So Robbie farm yard animals are sometimes funny, those geese were I tell you!" he told him smiling. "And don't get me started on that rogue horse!"

"Who you mean the Italian Stallion." Alice grinned.

Danny smiled at Alice then looked at his son. "I was a trainee vet and nearly packed it in to be a postman! Suppose I should be relieved I didn't coz now I got mummy and my boy!"

Robbie clapped.

"Such a clever boy!" Danny praised.

"Male bonding finished?" Alice asked.

"2 seconds…." he leaned in close to Robbie. "You support England." he whispered. "Scotland is rubbish!"

Alice made a face.

"Look whose coming for Robbie!" Danny sang as Alice raised her hands up and ran towards Robbie. "It's the mummy monster!"

Robbie smiled at the sight of his mother.

"Not scared of you yet…..kids braver than me, I'm scared of you before you had your first cup of coffee!"

She walked up to Danny's chest. "You're pushing me sir."

He shrugged. "You love me." leaned in and kissed her softly.

He pulled back and she went to Robbie. "Hello my wee man!" picked him up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Danny disappeared, reappeared five minutes later with a warm bottle.

"Ba ba." Robbie said as soon as he saw it.

"See how quickly I'm replaced."

"He's a man, we are easily distracted." Danny then winked. "Anyway I'm gonna shower then ring work so I can go sort this Charlie stuff with you….if you want me to." he added.

Alice nodded. "Thanks for being there for me."

Danny raised his hand and ran the back of his hand down her cheek.

Alice leant in to his gentle touch feeling love fill her completely, this is what they used to have! Robbie ruined the moment by squawking angrily for his bottle.

Danny looked at him. "We need to work on your timing!" kissed his sons head then walked towards the door. Stopped and looked back. "He's very demanding, remind you of anyone?"

"Yeah daddy!" Alice retorted quickly.

Danny nodded and walked towards the bathroom. Alice was scared to hope that they were getting back to normal. If they carried on like this though…..

(X)

Danny was munching on toast and reading the paper as Alice walked into the kitchen. Robbie was in his high chair staring intently at the keys on his rattle trying to figure them.

"You get through to Rowan?" Danny asked.

"No, knowing him and Charlie they'd have stayed up all night talking about what was bothering her then put on a Adam Sandler movie. Meaning they are still in bed."

"Yeah." Danny smiled "I remember when Rowan came to Leopards Den the first time, they must have watched Big Daddy two thousand times."

"It's the only one you have!" Alice imitated the disgust in Charlie's voice from that time.

"She still knows that film word for word." Danny laughed.

Alice sat down. "Why'd you think she done it?"

Danny had avoided asking himself that, still he knew. It was the arguing. There was a solution, that too he was also trying not to think about but it kept rearing it's ugly head. "We'll talk later, find out why she did it, speculation will only make us feel worse."

Alice nodded, took his hand and squeezed.

Danny stared at their joined hands for a second. The solution appeared in his head again, he felt a pain in his stomach. He pushed his breakfast away."

"As soon as you've had breakfast we can go."

Alice shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"Let's go get our daughter then." Danny suggested.

"And try not to kill her for scaring the life out of us!" Alice added.

Danny lifted Robbie and carried him to the car.

(X)

Danny and Alice stood side by side at Rowans, wearing matching looks of concern. Rowan opened the door. He looked shattered.

"You ok?" Alice asked.

"I'm fine, give me wee man and go talk to Charlie, she's awake in the spare room."

Danny and Alice looked at each other. Alice walked passed. Rowan put his hand on Danny's arm to halt him. "I want to talk to you later." Rowans voice low and icy.

Danny's eyes narrowed. "I need to see my daughter." yanked his arm away,. His voice equally as cold.

"Wee man is yours." Rowan told him. "Charlotte isn't. she is Alice and Michaels. Remember that."

If danny was eager to see that Charlotte was ok with his own eyes then he might have stayed and had it out with Rowan. But he did want to see Charlie and Rowan held his son. "Michael contributed DNA BUT I am her dad in every way that counts." then he walked passed towards the spare room absolutely fuming. He and Rowan had an OK relationship, now it seemed it had drastically gotten worse. He saw an open door and walked towards it. He saw Alice hugging Charlie tight.

"Don't scare me like that ok!" Alice told her sternly then hugged her tighter.

"Ok mum I'm sorry." she squeaked, unable to talk due to the strength of her mums hold.

Danny looked at them. Couldn't take his eyes off Charlotte. In the last two days he had two reminders that he wasn't Charlottes dad. It hurt more than he cared to admit. Rowan didn't bother him as much as Alice's did. After all they had been through she said that to him? Resentment began to build and her words began to niggle once again.

Charlotte finally spotted him. He waved and smiled a little. "Hey Danny."

She called him Danny, not dad. Was that why Alice and Rowan….. More niggles.

"I'm sorry I worried you both." Charlie said looking between them.

Danny nodded.

"You were just yelling and it sounded like you ate each other."

Danny and Alice shared a look.

"It's ok now." Danny told her and made a decision. Alice was right last night, it was time for him to go.

"Yeah sweetie." Alice told her brightly. "You don't have to worry anymore."

Danny walked over and kissed the tip of Charlotte's head.

"I've gotta go talk to Rowan then I'm off to work. See you both at home."

Alice nodded, reading the silent we need to talk in his eyes.

He turned and walked from the room. Found Rowan and Robbie engrossed in a game of football.

"He supports Middlesbrough like me." Danny told him dryly.

Rowan sat Robbie in the corner of the sofa making sure he was safe from all the edges, he stood up. "Alice rang me upset, in pieces actually." Rowan walked up to him and they were face to face. Neither man flinched.

"Ok."

"said your marriage was over, then Charlie turns up here in a state. They were happy here until you turned up, the common denominator is you Danny."

"I know."

"So what you gonna do about it?" Rowan challenged.

"I'm leaving."

"You're walking out on my sister?" Rowan seethed.

"Alice asked me to leave last night, I'm giving her, her wish."

Rowan nodded. "What about Robbie?"

"Alice and I need to sort out visitation with the kids, both of them!" Danny told him pointedly. "We haven't had time yet."

Rowan nodded again then exhaled. "I have a spare room…."

The offer was grudging but Danny was grateful. "That's ok, I have family here. My uncle is unmarried, said if ever needed him…."

"Ok, does Alice know? I'm guessing you stayed at home last night."

"No, not yet, but this has been building so it shouldn't come as a surprise."

Rowan and Danny stood for a moment. Rowan broke it. "I had a feeling you'd hurt her you know. I got passed it when you got married, you both looked so happy. Then she got in touch saying she was pregnant. I'd never heard her sound so happy, not even when she found out she was pregnant with Charlie. It was you that made her feel like that, having your child! It was like her life was finally complete. Now I see you're just like Michael, dropping her with a your kid!"

"She asked me to leave!" Danny hissed. "And she isn't the only one who's hurt! I DO love her! And I am NOTHING like him! I love my kids and unlike him I'll be there for her and them. Robbie will know his dad as he grows up! And Charlie will know I'm there for her for the rest of hers too!" he knelt down in front of Robbie. "See you soon lil man," he straightened up, glared at Rowan then left.

Charlotte and Alice were on their way home after borrowing Rowans' car.

"Charlie baby you can't run away again." Alice told her again.

"I know, I hated that…."

"It's hard when parents argue but it doesn't last forever."

"That's all you and Danny do recently." she whispered.

"Not anymore." if this morning was anything to go by, they were gonna be fine! That was all Alice wanted, the four of them to be happy again.

(X)

Alice waited up for danny that night. He walked in at six o'clock, his blue shirt and jeans rumpled.

"How was your day?"

He shook his head. "Don't ask."

"Bad day at work?"

He hadn't been able to forget that tonight he was leaving his wife. All he wanted was to wake up from this bad dream. For them to be happy at home in leopards Den. "No I just…." he put his head in his hands. "I can't do this." he whispered to himself. Pretending to be normal when inside he was burning with pain at what he had to do. He dropped himself onto the sofa.

"Danny?" Alice asked sitting beside him.

He exhaled and looked at her. "I'm leaving Alice."

She paled. "What?"

"We aren't working."

"But last night…." she started, face confused.

"One night changes nothing, I'm still here and not…."

Her face hardened. "You're leaving me coz we're still in London?"

"No I'm leaving coz I don't want Charlie running away again! Anything could have happened to her Alice and we are far from fixed!"

Alice looked at him darkly, resentment rising. "You know where your stuff is along with the suitcases. You should have said earlier and I could have saved you the trouble of packing!"

"We need to talk about the kids."

"What about them?" she challenged.

"When can I see them?"

"You can see Robbie as often as you want."

Danny was conscious that she had missed off Charlie. "Charlotte?"

"Well see what she says when she finds out you're leaving!"

"Don't turn her against me Alice!" he warned. "It'll only hurt her more!"

"I won't have to, you're doing as good enough job of that yourself!"

Danny exhaled an angry breath. "I'd better be going." Left the living room.

Alice watched him go, then dropped her head into her hands. "I thought we were gonna work us out and all the time he was planning on leaving,." she breathed holding back tears.

Danny was in his and Alice's room placing jeans in a suitcase. He saw the clothes he'd wore then the party on their wedding day. He fingered the soft material and remembered that day. Laughter, smiles music and dancing. He and Alice so deeply in love, so completely intertwined. She shared his life, she shared his name, now they shared a child…..and nothing else. He pulled the clothes off the hanger and stuffed it in the corner of the case.

"Danny?" a small voice asked.

He turned and saw Charlotte stood at the bedroom door. "What you doing?"

"I'm going to stay with my uncle for a little while."

She frowned. "Why?"

"me and your mum aren't working very well at the minute."

"Is it coz I ran away?" she whispered wrapping her arms around herself.

"NO sweetheart. I'm sorry if this hurts, that was never my intention."

"Stay then." she urged. "Mum loves you I know she does!"

He couldn't risk that she would run away again.

"I'll be around." he promised.

"What about mum? Don't you love her anymore?"

"Course I do, I'll always love your mum but we can't be together right now."

Charlotte frowned. "If you love her then why? I don't understand."

"I know sweetheart, one day you will."£

Charlotte walked away and he continued packing. All too soon and it was over. He kissed the kids goodbye. Charlotte asked him to stay again and it broke his heart to refuse her. He found Alice sat in the living room, her face like stone a belligerent expression.

"I'll take the Peugeot, I know you like people carrier."

Alice looked at him darkly.

"Alice I'm not enjoying this."

"Aren't you? C'mon Danny you love the role of martyr."

"Shut up!" he hissed. "I don't want to argue."

"You're leaving me!" she hissed. "How do you expect me to feel?"

"Maybe all we need is space." he suggested.

"Yeah well there is plenty of space between here and Leopards Den!" she fumed.

"I'm staying in London."

Her eyes narrowed further. "So you're splitting because we won't move back to leopards Den but you'll happily stay in London alone?"

"No actually I'm staying because I am a father first! I'm no good to you hundreds of miles away/ thing is Alice this close proximity is doing us more harm than good!"

"You should have thought about close proximity before you proposed!""I'm sorry Alice, I really am. I don't want to hurt you."

Her eyes filled. "Could have fooled me!" her voice breaking.

His chest began shuddering. "Here is the landline for where I'm staying, any time you need me, day or night."

"Where are you staying?" she asked looking at the paper.

"My uncle owns his own place, I rang earlier and it runs out he is in America and said I can stay there as long as I want."

She nodded. "Ok, and by the way I won't call you." she told him fiercely.

"It has plenty of rooms for the kids if you need some rest."

What she needed was her old husband back, the one who wouldn't dream of leaving her! She shrugged.

"See you later then." he picked up his suitcases and left.

Alice closed the door and rested her back against it. Let her heart break. "I wish I didn't love you." she swallowed thickly.

Danny heard her statement and he felt his heart shatter into more pieces then it already was. He climbed into the car and drove off.

**A/N Alice last line broke my heart :( this would have been up earlier but i fin a danice fanvid, i needed fluff after that!**

**(i havent checked the spelling pt it straight up sorry if there are major errors)**


	6. You're Not My Dad!

Since Alice no longer had to think about Danny she decided that she and the kids were going on the little get away to the Lake District. Why not, it would be nice to get away and clear her head. Charlotte didn't feel the same.

"Mum I wanna stay with Danny!" Charlotte moaned.

"But…."

"Please mum, the Lake District is boring!"

Alice exhaled. "Ok."

"Will you leave Robbie too? I think Danny is planning on taking us out. He text asking me what I wanted to do when we are with him."

So she was going to the Lake District alone then? Not likely, she'd rope in one her friends. "Ok yeah, you two can spend time with your dad."

Charlie beamed. "I'll go ring Danny!"

"Off you go then." Alice ground her teeth together, Charlotte never reacted like that when they spent time together, then again Charlie and Danny were like two peas in a pod. He loved her and she worshipped him. He could do no wrong in Charlottes eyes.

Since he left 3 nights ago they had yet to speak, and she had no desire to talk to him either. He wanted space then he could have it! The sooner she got over him the better!

(X)

Danny's phone rang. He saw 'home' on the screen. Well not his home anymore.

"Hello?" he chirped.

"Hi Danny!" Charlie sang.

"Charlie you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Is it ok if I stay with you? Mum is going to the lakes and I don't want to go anymore. It's gonna be boring."

Danny made a face. Charlie picking him over Alice was bound to go down well, something else she blamed him for no doubt. "Don't you want to spend time with your mum? I'm happy for you to stay with me though!" he added quickly.

"Well I see mum all the time and with you being away…."

"It's fine with me. I can't wait to have some proper time with the two of you." the silence in this house was driving him crazy. He turned the radio on to drown it out.

"You could come home you know." Charlotte mentioned. "Mum misses you, she pretends not to but I can tell."

Danny exhaled. He missed Alice too, they had yet to speak. He was worried incase she enjoyed being alone and asked for a divorce. He was ignoring the issue. "Not yet sweetie."

"Mums been in touch with the school. I go back on Monday."

"How do you feel about that?" he asked.

"My form tutor is being changed and I'm being removed from his lessons so it's better. I'm going in Trinity though, that where the problem kids go."

Danny frowned. "Why don't I…."

"You're not to go on the premises, they'll call the police. Since you threatened Mr Daniels. They found out you're not my dad too, well my real dad."

He frowned, no doubt Alice digging the knife in! she just couldn't stop could she? "How little man?" he asked trying to calm himself.

"He's brilliant, mum tried him on mashed potato's, swede and blended in some chicken. He loved it, wore most of it though. Then he then had some of my jam and custard. All the jam ended up on his nose and he looked like a clown." Charlie laughed.

"Did he like the custard?" Danny asked hating that he missed a bonding moment between the kids.

"Na, spat it out."

"He's like me. I hate the stuff."

"Danny, you and mum will get back together right?" Charlie asked. "And we'll be a family again? The house feels different without you."

Danny rubbed his face. He didn't want to hurt her, and he couldn't lie to her either. "I don't know."

"This could end up permanent then?" she asked voice afraid.

"Yeah." he admitted softly.

"So I'm losing my dad then?" he heard the tears in her voice.

"Charlie no…."

"You're Robbie's real dad but not mine! I heard Uncle Rowan say that to mum!"

He felt anger bubbling at Alice and Rowan. "Charlie sweetheart I promise…."

"I've changed my mind about Friday. Bye Danny." then she disconnected.

What the hell was going on? "Right!" he grabbed his car keys and headed outside. He needed to speak to his daughter.

(X)

Alice was hovering her room trying to keep busy. Earlier she'd been certain that she was fine…..then she thought of something Robbie had done and felt an urge to tell Danny. It took her a second to realise that he wasn't here anymore, a ocean of despair had flooded over her and she was still feeling it. If she was being perfectly honest she wasn't dealing with the separation too well, she wanted to go back to how they were before. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon. She turned the hoover off as she bent down to pulled the plug she spotted something under the bed. She knelt down and pulled it out. It was Danny's blue pyjama top.

She frowned as she looked at it. The last night they'd been intimate. Too much alcohol made them impatient, while he was pulling the top off she pushed it up, he had tossed it and pulled her closely. They hadn't been able to find it after. She tossed it away from her in the direction of the door. She was constantly finding things that belonged to him. A sock, a t-shirt, some deodorant. How could someone be so close and yet so far. The last time she had even faintly felt like this was when she was sure he loved Vanessa. This was a million times worse. Then she hadn't really lost anything, you can't lose what you never had. Now she hadn't just lost her husband she had lost her confidante, the person she could tell anything. The person who made her laugh, she had lost her best friend. Knowing this was hurting her immensely.

A knock interrupted her thoughts.

"Charlie sweetie can you get that?" she called.

No reply, must still be on the phone with Danny Alice mused.

Alice exhaled and left the room. Walked downstairs and opened the door. Saw Danny stood there in blue jeans and a dark blue t-shirt. Her heart did a funny little flip. 'Stop it!' she ordered silently.

"Hi Alice I'm here to see Charlie."

"Ok." she replied and gestured him inside. He stood in the hallway.

"Charlie Danny is here." she shouted up the stairs.

As they stood waiting an awkward silence fell.

"You look well." he told her shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.

She nodded. "So do you."

Silence fell, Alice rubbed her hands together.

"Looking forwards to going to the Lakes?" he asked.

"Yeah, Ashley is going with me."

"Oh." he breathed. "Have fun."

She shrugged.

Charlie appeared at the top of the stairs and Danny almost cried in relief! "You wanna come out with me?" he asked.

"What if I don't?" she challenged.

Alice frowned. "Charlie…."

Danny didn't look perturbed.

"You aren't my daddy Danny."

Danny glanced at Alice darkly then looked back at Charlotte. "What am I to you then?"

"No one if you and mum divorce."

He smiled. "Are me and your mum divorced yet?"

"No."

"Then I'm still your dad and you have to spend time with me."

"No…."

"Yes you do so get down here!"

Charlotte crossed her arms petulantly but began to walk downstairs.

"Robbie?" Alice asked.

"I'll see him when I get back. This time is for me and Charlie."

She looked up at him. "Just to tell you I'm with you under duress."

He grinned down at her. "That's my girl, tell it how it is."

Charlotte pulled on her jacket muttering about how she refused to even talk to him.

"Yeah yeah." Danny followed her out of the house.

(X)

Danny and Charlie sat in pizza hut.

"I know you don't believe me when I tell you I'm here for you…I am." Danny promised.

She bit into a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"Charlotte I've brought you up for half of your life. How can I forget that?"

"It isn't too hard, my real dad…."

He stopped her. "I'm not him." what was it with people comparing him to Michael?

"But if he didn't want me what are the chances of you…."

"You don't need any chances, if I tell you that I'll pick you up I'll be there. Anything to do with school then I'm there. Your life, tell me and I won't miss it."

She eyed him.

"And don't get me started on the future boyfriends!"

She rolled her eyes. "Will you be moving back to Leopards Den?"

That he didn't know. "Dunno."

"If you do can I go with you?"

O God, what was he supposed to say?

She noticed his shell shocked expression. "It's not that I don't want to live with mum, I do, I just want to go home. Africa is my home, not here."

"We'll speak to your mum if the time comes."

She smiled slowly. "Is that a yes?"

She wanted a definitive answer. "If I go back and if your mum is ok with it then yes."

Her face split into a massive grin. "Brilliant!"

Now Danny knew he was stuck in London for the duration. No way in hell was he taking Alice's daughter away from her.

(X)

Alice watched as a car pulled into the drive. Charlotte climbed out all smiles, looking more animated then she had in ages. She was laughing at something Danny said. Alice opened the door for them. They sailed in.

"So Friday back on?" Danny hinted.

Charlotte smiled. "You bet, I had a good time."

"Next time bring your trainers."

She nodded then dashed upstairs.

Danny looked at Alice. "Robbie?"

"He just went down, sorry."

His face fell.

"I could….."

Danny shook his head. "Don't wake him I'll just….."

She nodded.

He visited his sons room.

Alice walked into the kitchen and began peeling potato's. She heard Danny over the baby monitor. "Sorry daddy didn't see you today but your big sister Charlie was mad at me. I fixed that. When your bigger daddy will give you the secret to dealing with angry girls."

Alice smiled.

"Until then you best steer clear ok? Sleep tight and I'll see you soon son."

Alice exhaled and closed her eyes. Footsteps echoed down the stairs. Alice heard Danny walk into the kitchen. She looked back. "Want some coffee?"

"Yeah thanks." poured himself a mug and eased himself into a chair.

"She's got better at badminton. She has me knackered." he told her.

Alice nodded.

"How'd the meeting at Charlie's school go?"

"Preaching school rules at me." she looked at him. "I nearly nodded off."

Danny laughed.

"The head brought you up."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You aren't allowed on the premises for any reason."

He frowned. "There goes one of my promises to Charlie. School functions."

"What's up with you and her?" Alice asked rinsing the potatoes.

"She thinks since you and me aren't together anymore that I'm not her dad."

Alice exhaled.

"She's pushing me away before I can do that to her."

Alice nodded. "A lot like me huh?"

"So much its scary." he admitted.

Alice smiled. "So you two patched it up?"

"Sort of."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"She asked if I was moving back to Leopards Den."

Alice's heart leapt into her mouth "And?"

"I told her I didn't know. She knew I was considering it and asked if she could go with me."

Alice felt her stomach go hollow. "And?"

"I told her we'd speak to you about it. She wanted a definite answer though so I said yes if it was ok with you."

Alice spun drying her hands on a tea towel. "So you are making me the bad guy when you go back?"

Danny had restrained the urge to go mad for what Charlotte overheard between her and her brother but he had hit his limit! "No actually I'm not going back for good! I know if I tried I'd have to tell her she couldn't come and it would break her heart, I've realised I'm staying here for good!" he tried to keep the emotion from his tone but it leaked through.

"Danny…." she started softly.

He stood up. "I'm gonna….."

"I'm….I didn't…" she had no idea what to say without it sounding condescending or a complete lie.

"I won't leave them behind Alice if I go back they do too with their mother. See that is where you and I differ. I wouldn't take your kids to a different country and expect you to follow if you wanted to have some sort of relationship with them." with that parting shot he walked from the kitchen.

**A/N they do have their little moments where all is fine...then something is said and it all breaks down. something has got to give and that could very well be in a chapter or two... x**


	7. Can't Sleep

Danny lay in bed unable to sleep. It was a warm night, the kind of night he and Alice would have lain with the windows open just to make sure they could hold each other all night without overheating. He wished he was home with her right now. What he said to her kept running in circles in his mind, why were break ups so hard? Why did they have to break up? Why couldn't they just be happy? A song he heard earlier stayed with him, well a single line.

"She said she wished she did not love me anymore."

Maroon 5, just a feeling. He pushed the sheet off and walked to the window.

"I miss her so much." he whispered to the moon gleaming overhead. The way she smelled as she lay next to him, so clean and fresh. The sound of her soft breathing as she lay slept. The way her face looked so much younger and relaxed. The smile she'd give him when she awoke and found him watching her. He ran his hands through his hair. When he was with her he was never cold coz she warmed him. He was never worried coz they could get through anything together. What happened to them? Why couldn't they just go back to how they were before?

This shouldn't be happening, he just knew she could be the one to finally break him! He should never have given into his feelings, thing was he had fell for her without even knowing it. With Miranda and Sarah he had been aware that his feelings were growing. It had been a gradual thing. But with Alice it had just hit him one day while they were stood laughing in the surgery and boom! He had this feeling that he didn't want to live without her. Then they had became a couple, then broke up. Since the day she came home and told him they were starting again they had both promised that nothing would ever come between them again…yet here they were apart again. The song repeated in his head.

"She said she wished she did not love me anymore."

Alice had said that earlier as he left. One of the hardest things he had ever heard her say in regards to him. It wasn't that she didn't love him anymore, she just wished she didn't, that hurt! He went back to his cold lonely bed and lay down. Picked up his phone which lay on the cabinet. Looked at his screensaver. Alice, Robbie and Charlie smiling at a park. He'd came to London to be with them and now they were apart.

"I'll always love you." he promised her picture. He just wished he could say that to her in person.

(X)

Alice sat up in bed looking at the spot her husband used to sleep in. She touched his pillow and found it cold. She was ok during the day when she could keep herself busy. She was ok putting the kids to bed and doing her final chores. It was walking into this room that killed her. When they had first moved into this house Danny had been normal. They had so much fun decorating….or so she had thought. Their relationship had gradually broken down. It wasn't just a snap, it had been whittled away until she didn't know her husband anymore. A Tim McGraw and Faith Hill song had played on the radio before she came to bed, the male singer was singing to the lady he loved. She had been fine until she heard the line,

'Emotional touch, touching my skin and asking you to do what you've been doing all over again.'

Since she'd met Danny he'd had her mesmerised. He'd been all she could think about, even when they had been arguing she hadn't been able to take her eyes off him. For her the spark had been immediate and electric. Completely impossible to ignore.

She swallowed feeling a lump lodge in her throat she swore to herself she wasn't going to cry tonight, she knew she was gonna fail. Every night she was reminded of some way she missed him, reminded of some way she loved him. They had been everything the other needed and now…why bother fighting it? She let the tears fall. She hated that she was doing this over him! She had been sure he would never do this to her. She wished she could conjure up a tiny molecule of dislike for him but even now she couldn't. She disliked the way he acted but not him, never him. She had meant it when she had told him she'd always need him. As she thought those words the memory of his arms around her warming her and his head rested upon hers came to her and more tears surged.

"I just want my husband back." she whispered throwing herself onto his side of the bed and burying her face into his pillow.

**A/N very quick update, will try to get another update up tonight after that i'll be taking a brief hiatus from fanfic for about a month no updates or reviews :( x**


	8. Michael Baxter

Alice was at the Lakes with Ashley, they stood in a lift as it descended.

"Let's go hiking!" Alice suggested. "They have this group thing going on."

Ashley made a face. "Do we have to?"

"Yes."

"After that then we go to the spa."

"We've spent every day in the spa."

"Alice it's a spa!" Ashley laughed.

"Ok, we will."

They had spent the last 3 days at the spa. Danny had rang her asking if he could have Charlie and Robbie for a little longer so she stayed on a few more days. She had really needed this break actually. She felt relaxed and at ease. Well slightly. The thing with Danny still played on her mind. The fact that he asked permission to spend time with the kids broke her heart. It also killed her how stilted everything between them was now. What on earth had transpired between them that drove them to that?

"Alice you ok?" Ashley asked lacing up her boot.

She nodded.

Ashley stood up and put her arm around her shoulders "This Danny stuff still hurting you then?"

Alice exhaled.

"He seemed like the perfect guy. You'd talk about him and me and all out friends would be jealous."

"To be honest I should have known the penny was about to drop." she muttered.

"Don't talk like that Alice, maybe you and he could work it out."

She shrugged and they walked from the lift and approached a reception desk. "Yeah and maybe if he was here I'd throw him off a cliff!"

"I'd know that threatening tone anywhere!" a man with a deep Scottish tone laughed. "It was aimed at me often enough!"

Alice turned and was face to face with a man she hadn't see in ten years. A face she regularly seen on her teenage daughter! "Michael!"

He hugged her tightly. "How have you been, you look well." he winked.

She raised her hand and wiggled her wedding ring.

He winced. "Sorry. So how have you been then?"

"Good, you."

He shrugged. "Messy divorce, came here to clear my head."

"Alice is…."

Alice elbowed Ashley. "This is Ashley you remember her."

Michael smiled. "Of course." gave her a charming smile, which of course meant he didn't remember her at all. "Do you mind if I join you both?"

"Um…." Alice started

"Not at all." Ashley smiled. "Actually Alice is going alone I'm heading to the spa."

"But…" Alice yelped.

"You two have fun."

Alice hated her at this moment. "Ashley….."

"You know I hate walking if I don't have to then I won't, talk later yeah?"

Alice exhaled.

Michael had walked off to get some leaflets.

"You have all the luck anyway." Ashley muttered, "He's gorgeous, and the perfect person to take your mind off Danny!"

Alice glared at her. "First I'm married and I'd never cheat on Danny. Second I have already been burned by this guy, I'm not stupid!"

"Just a suggestion." Ashley told her knowingly.

"Well it was a stupid one!"

Michael approached, handed Alice a map and safety instructions. They trooped out Ashley left them.

"So how is Charlie?"

"She's at home with her dad." made a face when she realised her slip.

Michael shrugged it off. "It's ok he brought her up, it's Terry yeah?"

"No, we have been over a while. A man called Danny Trevanion. We dated for nearly 4 years and we've been married for 18 months."

He smiled. "This Danny is a lucky man."

She rolled her eyes.

"Where is he then?"

"He was here but he took Charlie and Robbie home."

"Robbie?"

"Mine and Danny's son, anyway he had to get home."

Michael knew she was lying but didn't push it. They walked onto a trail side by side.

"So my daughter is a teenager then?"

"Yeah."

"Anything like you used to be?"

She laughed. "Thankfully no, she isn't like you either. Actually she is calm like Danny, until something upsets her and she freaks out."

"Sounds like little Alice to me. How is she at school?"

"Top of the class and before you say it yes she did get her brains from me." she told him.

"Ha ha funny Collins!"

"Back at ya Baxter."

"O wait if you're married then your surname is….."

"Trevanion."

"Alice Trevanion suits you. To be honest I thought you'd end up Alice Baxter."

She nodded. She had too, then they'd found out she was pregnant. He'd been her childhood sweetheart, she'd met up with him after breaking up with the Ian, the married man she had an affair with. He'd been a blatant rebound but she genuinely fell in love with him again, proof of how vulnerable she'd been feeling. Anyway they had been dating 3 months and she discovered she was pregnant. He went mental, not ready to be a dad and disappeared. Re-appeared for Charlie's birth and hung around he'd grew up, he was ready. Then when Charlie was a year old they split for good. It had been a relationship full of turmoil she had loved him once, it didn't come close to what she felt for Danny though.

They hiked on in silence. Chatted amicably through lunch, soon they were heading back.

"Look Alice I know it's late but I'd really like to meet Charlie. I've thought about her often, and I did search but you and Rowan fell off the map. You weren't in Scotland anymore and I traced you to Jo'burg then nothing."

"We were in Glen Afric, we're living in London now though."

"Would you let me see her?"

"I don't have a right not to, you are her dad."

"What about Danny?" he hazarded.

She exhaled. "Danny will be fine, he'll have to be."

"How old is Robbie?"

"Nearly seven months old and the clone of his dad."

"What does Charlie look like?"

"She's tall, thin with brown hair the exact colour of yours and your hazel eyes." she pulled out her phone and showed him a recent picture of her holding Robbie.

"Wow." he breathed. "That's my Charlie? She's gorgeous."

"Hard to believe she is yours huh?" she joked.

He laughed and saw her smile at the picture of her two kids.

"I see what you mean about Robbie, I can't see you in him."

"Just like Danny to have his little boy look exactly like him."

"How long are you here for then?" Michael asked.

"I go home tomorrow night."

"Me too. Mind if I accompany you?"

"That's fine, I'll ring Danny and tell him you're coming."

(X)

Alice and Ashley were waiting for the coach.

"Look Ash I forgot to mention last night that Mike is coming home to see Charlie. Don't mention to him that me and Danny are having problems."

"Why?"

"Coz he'll see it as an invitation and I can't be bothered to deal with it right now."

"He can hit on me anytime." Ashley purred.

"Take him!" Alice pleaded.

Ashley laughed. "Afraid you won't be able to resist him?"

"No, I'm afraid Danny will find out and all hell will break loose."

Ashley made a face. "Danny doesn't strike me as the possessive type."

"He isn't, but he loves me. That is the only way to explain it."

"You sure you don't want Michael? He's gorgeous."

"Take him, Keep him!" Alice assured.

"My pleasure."

The bus came and they walked on. Michael sat in front of Ashley and Alice. Ashley was trying her best but Michael didn't want to know. She finally went to the bathroom.

"God has Ashley always been that full on?" Michael asked.

Alice shrugged, "She likes you. You should ask her out."

"I'm not interested, I'm here to meet my daughter, nothing else. Did you ring Danny?"

"I'm just gonna jump off at the next break."

The coach shuddered to a stop.

"Which would be now." she walked off pulling her phone out. Danny picked up on the second ring.

"Hi Alice, you ok?"

"Yeah fine, could you be at home for me getting home, I need you."

"Yeah why?"

"Coz…."

Suddenly all she could hear was static. "Danny?" she asked. "Danny?" louder this time.

"Oh angry Alice, trouble in paradise?" Michael asked.

Alice looked at her phone "No, lost my signal."

Michael put his arm around her. "Don't worry you and the hubby will be reunited soon."

Alice exhaled, yeah they would and Danny had no idea what was in store!

(X)

Danny settled in the living room waiting for Alice to return. Why did she want him here? Usually they handed the kids over and it was cordial but actually having him here waiting? That was weird.

"So Charlie how was school?" Danny asked.

"Well I met some people who want to be my friends."

He grinned. "That's great."

"I enjoyed out weekend, can we spend more time together?" she asked.

"We'll work something out." he promised.

She smiled. "That climbing centre was brilliant. You were fearless at climbing that wall. I was sure I'd fall."

"You got the hang of it." Danny assured. He had a picture of them in their helmets.

"Then go karting, shame Robbie is too small." she breathed.

"Give him a few years, you're a proper little racer though you kicked butt!"

Charlie shook her head. "Not really."

"Really, you took those turns like a pro!"

They heard the front door open.

"Danny?" Alice called.

He walked to the living room door. Alice spotted him, went straight to him and kissed him heatedly.

Danny froze.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Play along please." she whispered.

He pulled back and looked at her. Michael walked inside.

Danny frowned and pulled away from Alice. "Who are you?"

"I'm a friend of Alice's, don't worry it isn't what you think, well not recently…." Michael grinned.

Danny clenched his fists. "What?"

"I'm here to see Charlotte."

Danny looked at Alice. "Danny this is Michael Baxter, Charlie's biological father."

Hurt cascaded through Danny. He smiled at Alice stiffly and took her arm. "Excuse us." he said to Michael and took her into the kitchen. Closed the door.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked when the door was closed.

"Michael saw me at the lakes, he asked about Charlie, asked to see her."

"This isn't fair Alice, I'm her dad!" Danny fumed.

"What could I say? He is as much her dad as you are Robbie's!"

"Difference is I am here full time, through all the illnesses, birthdays and everything else, my kids aren't toys to me!" He ground his teeth together. "And that kiss?"

"I told him we were together."

"Why?"

"Coz I knew if he thought I was free he'd try it on and this is about Charlotte." and she didn't want him, there was only man she wanted, her husband. It took one kiss to remind her that fact.

"So now we have to play happy families? For how long?"

"Michael won't stay long, he never does."

"How is Charlie supposed feel about that?"

"She doesn't know him as her father." she countered. "He's a friend of mine, plus she has you."

"Obviously not if he is here to play daddy!"

"Danny please…." she pleaded.

He exhaled, he could never say no to blue eyes when they looked like that. "Fine!" they heard footsteps approaching. "Now Alice, here is a proper hello." he cupped her face and kissed her soft and slow.

The kitchen door opened. "Alice….sorry am I interrupting…." Michael squeaked.

Danny looked at Alice with so much feeling. "No." he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "Just telling Alice how much I missed her."

Alice could barely breathe. She heard words but she didn't understand what they were. Her head felt light.

Michael laughed. "I can tell you I was never able to make her lose her head like that!" he motioned to her.

"I know my wife." Danny murmured then caressed her cheek.

Alice came to her senses. Shook her head. "Charlie is in the living room."

"Can't wait to see my daughter." Michael grinned.

Danny's smile cracked and he left the kitchen and went into the living room, Charlie was plugging in the Xbox.

Alice went straight to Robbie. "Mummy has missed her baby."

"Mum whose he?" Charlotte asked as Michael stood in the doorway.

"This is Michael." Alice replied.

"I'm your dad." he told her.

Alice glared at him.

"Danny is my dad." she told him conversationally.

"Your real dad, you know. Me and your mum, 9 months later you came along."

"Danny is my dad you…..who are you?" she asked.

"Michael Baxter."

"O you're the sperm donor?"

"Charlotte!" Alice gasped.

Danny choked back a laugh.

"Nice to meet you," she looked at Danny. "Want a game on need for speed?"

"Depends." Danny replied. "You gonna beat me like you did at go karting?"

Charlie ginned cockily. "I'll try not to decimate you too badly."

Danny laughed, stood up and grabbed a pad. "Bring it on kiddo!"

**A/N ok so Charlies real dad is here oooooo and she has abso no interest in him...**

**anyway i have to leave this here, this is IT for a month same with opp att, since this wasn't fluff like chloe asked i will get an chappie of A-Z asap, maybe 2moz and then that's it (my bf is hiding what i have pre-wrote i have so much to do) sad times :( anyway see ya's x**


	9. Danny or Daddy? Is there a difference?

Alice was in the kitchen making tea. She could hear Charlie squealing in excitement. She and Danny were playing on kinect sports and Charlie was obviously winning. Michael came in looking shell-shocked.

"So Charlie." he breathed.

"Sorry, she worships Danny, always has."

"And he's perfect." Michael surmised.

"More than perfect to her. He's never let her down, he's always there. He knows something is wrong without her having to say it. He spent time, and continues to do it. To put it simply she knows he loves her."

"The opposite of me then?"

"Sorry but yeah." she shrugged. "Look at it from her perspective Mike, you're never there. She met Danny at an age where she desperately needed a dad. She latched onto him. She saw him with Liv, Evan and Rosie which didn't help coz they adore him too. She fell for him completely, well the dad part anyway. Mother followed suit, except I didn't fall for the dad part of course." seeing him with Charlie had made it impossible for her NOT to fall for him!

"Liv, Evan Rosie?" he questioned.

"Rosie is Danny's biological daughter and he has two step kids, all of them are over eighteen which is why they aren't here. They miss him terribly."

"Wow he's been busy." Michael murmured.

"No actually both his wives died!" she snapped. "He isn't like that ok!"

"Sorry." he whispered and made a face.

"Don't try to take his place Mike, you gave no chance. Like I said she worships the ground he walks on. A lot of the time I know she loves him over me!"

"Whoa!" he whispered.

"Now you know what you're up against."

"I always did like a challenge." he smiled.

Alice scowled. "She isn't a game Michael, now she knows you're her dad don't walk away coz next time there will be no second chances. Break her heart and I promise you'll never see her again!"

Charlotte chose that moment to walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. Took out 2 cartons of juice.

"Hey Charlie why not sit and talk to Michael for a bit." Alice suggested.

"But mum, me and Danny…." she whined.

"Charlie he's here for you!" Alice told her sterner then before.

Charlie narrowed her eyes. "I'll tell Danny then!" she told her mum coldly then stomped off.

"She really does love him huh?" Michael whispered.

"She doesn't like people cutting into her Danny time, he works a lot."

Michael exhaled when he heard stomping feet. "Here goes."

Charlie walked in, sat down posture stiff face belligerent. "Talk then!"

"Charlie don't be rude!" Alice told her.

"I don't want to be here!" Charlie snapped.

"Charlie give him a chance." Danny asked, holding Robbie in the doorway.

She looked at him and smiled. "Ok."

Michael's jaw dropped.

"Told you." Alice whispered as she passed.

"That's MY girl." Danny said as he passed he kissed her head and gave Michael a pointed look. One that said at any second I can take her away so don't push me. Then he headed to a cupboard and took out a bowl and spoon. "So Robs is it creamy vegetable pasta or tuna casserole."

Robbie made a face.

"Neither sound too good to me either. Tell you what me and Uncle Dupe love, a good bacon sandwich."

"Charlotte does too!" Charlie spoke up. "With plenty of brown sauce!"

"Just like her dad." Danny said smirking at Michael.

Alice took Danny's arm and directed him out of the kitchen, closed the door. "Stop making this harder then it has to be!" she hissed.

Danny bounced Robbie. "He shows up here put of the blue and I have to accommodate him? I've brought her up and he strolls in when he feels like it to take over? I don't think so Alice!"

"You're not stupid Danny, no one will take your place in her life, she adores you, but he is her dad and you have no right….."

"I have every right!" he countered. "I don't care what he thinks he contributed! That does not make him a dad! I'm her dad and as soon as I can I'll be seeing him expecting to sign over his parental rights to me!"

"He'll never agree to that."

He lowered his head. "She is MY daughter Alice." he bounced Robbie once again then walked back to the kitchen.

He saw Charlie look at him, a worried expression on her face. He smiled at her reassuringly. "Hey Charl's tell him about how we play basketball."

Charlie was animated immediately. "Danny is so good coz he's so tall! He showed me all sorts of moves and I even beat the boys, sometimes." she added.

Alice walked in and listened to her daughter talk about Danny to her dad.

(X)

Night fell. Danny was putting Robbie to bed. He'd had a restless day, obviously picking up on the tension between his parents and wouldn't go down for Alice. Charlotte earlier had spent all of ten minutes talking to Michael….about Danny then she and Danny went in the garden to play football. Michael had tried to join in but football was never his strong suit. Charlie and Danny had a brilliant time though. Now she and Michael sat in the living room.

"You have a fight on your hands Mike."

"I can't compete with him!" he moaned.

Alice shrugged. "You brought this on yourself, if you'd been there…."

He nodded.

"Do you live close?"

He shook his head. "I'll find a hotel."

She checked her watch. "It's getting late, stay here on the sofa."

He frowned. "Shouldn't you ask Danny?"

Dammit! Where would Danny sleep if he slept on the sofa? "It'll be fine." she lied.

Danny walked in and sat on the floor. "Both kids are asleep. Charlie shattered herself playing football." he began packing up the Xbox. "She shattered me too she's good at boxing on the sports and she ran rings around me at football!"

"Michael was going to a hotel, I asked him if he wanted to stay on the sofa."

Danny shrugged not even looking at her. Then he froze and looked at Alice. She looked back.

"How is Rowan?" Michael asked picking up on the tension.

"He's good." Alice said.

"I wouldn't mid seeing him again."

"I'll text him for you." Alice told him.

"I'll go shower then, if you don't mind."

"I'll sort you towels and bedding." Alice told Michael.

"Night Danny." Michael said.

"Good night Michael." Danny replied then left Alice and Michael alone.

"He's eager." Michael laughed.

"Yeah." Alice breathed. Went into a cupboard in the utility room and pulled out a towel. "I'll put the bedding on the sofa. Oh and Charlie will be up early for school."

He nodded. "I'll set my alarm goodnight."

She smiled. "Night Mikes."

"You're the only one who ever called me that, Mikes." he elaborated at her puzzled frown. "I like it."

"Night." she repeated and backed off. Walked upstairs.

(X)

Alice quickly showered before Michael. The whole time she wondered how she and Danny were gonna do this. They had slept in the same bed countless times in the past but they were….what exactly? In love then? She still loved him now! She walked into their room and found the light on but it was empty. She frowned. Heard rustling over the baby monitor. She walked into Robbie's room and saw Danny trying to get comfortable on a chair.

"Danny." she whispered incase she woke their sleeping son.

"It's fine Alice!" he answered in a soft tone.

"C'mon." she told him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"We're married." she reminded then smiled cockily. "Or am I that irresistible that you can't keep your hands off me?" raised her head issuing the challenge.

He laughed softly. "We both know how Robbie is here and it wasn't me."

She took his hand and led him into their room. She lay down. He did too.

"Goodnight Alice."

"Night Danny." she sighed. "It's nice having you home."

Home? He pondered. Home was Alice. Home was Leopards Den, except he was here with Alice not in South Africa so what was home? Where was home? He'd never been so confused in his life! He thought about just being here with his family, forgot that it was London. It had felt good being close to her and the kids once again. "It was nice being here, spending time with you and the kids. I…." he inhaled deeply. "I missed you." then quieted.

"The kids missed you too."

"I missed YOU." then he turned on his side.

The night was quiet.

"I missed you too." she finally admitted. "More than I thought."

He sat up sharply. "Why don't we work? I mean god listen to us!"

She turned her lamp on and sat up too. "I don't know. I honestly don't. We used to be so easy at Leopard's Den."

He looked at her. "I want to make us work, to find a way to get us back."

"What if we can't?" she whispered.

Danny frowned. "If we can't then we….." and swallowed. "Split for good."

"Not an option!" Alice said stubbornly.

He looked at her after her impassioned declaration. "I agree…..but staying together to prove a point is wrong. If it's best for the kids to split then maybe we should."

"How can the best thing for the kids to split up?" she asked lowly her voice cold.

"Charlie running away for one! The kids don't need to hear us arguing."

"Which wouldn't happen is we were at Leopards Den." she finished for him.

He clenched his teeth. "I didn't say that!"

"You were thinking it!"

"Oh for Gods sake!" he lay down on his side, back stiff.

Alice turned her lamp off and lay down on her side too. Their backs to the other.

**A/N ok people know i told u i was gonna b gone for a month bt that was before i almost broke my ankle (well actually its a bad sprain felt like i broke it tho) and got put on bed rest by my bf, and NO WAY am i spending all that time doing uni work so when he wasn't looking i typed this up :)  
>AND i cooked up a brand new story called Darkness Falls the first chapter is written, so excited to start it...after i finish opp att...<br>anyways y ct the danice jst kiss and make up! Never that easy tho is it, if it was i wound't have a story...  
>if my foot continues to heal the way it is i will disappear off the radar again...God i am having withdrawal lol - hope u enjoyed :) <strong>


	10. Empty Accusations

Danny came awake slowly. Woke to find himself with a face full of soft silky black hair which smelled heavenly, his arm wrapped tightly around a slender waist. Alice's back smooth against his chest. This was how they always slept. Alice sighed in sleep and seemed to move back towards him further, as if she sensed that he was ready to move. He pulled his arm free. She moaned, but slept on. He rose from the bed and walked into Robbie's room, saw him kicking his legs happily.

Danny walked over and picked him up. "Hello son." rubbed his cheek with his finger.

"addee, addee addee." Robbie chortled.

Danny froze. "What baby?"

"Addee!" he held his arms out.

Danny grinned at him widely, picked him up and took him to Alice. "Alice, Alice wake up!"

She opened her eyes, they were blurry and unfocused. "Huh?" then she saw her son and was instantly awake. "Is Robbie sick?" took him from his dad and lay him down in front of her.

"Alice he spoke! It was brilliant he asked for me, he asked for daddy!"

Alice's face froze.

"What?" Alice wasn't reacting the way he was expecting her to, I mean this was their baby's first word!

"Danny he already spoke." she admitted.

Danny's mood changed from elation to furious in 3 seconds. "When?"

"Thursday."

His face darkened. "Why wasn't I told?"

"It slipped my mind." she had a lot going on!

"My child said his first word and you forgot?" he asked in disbelief.

"No I didn't forget, it slipped my mind!"

"What was it?"

"Mamma." Robbie said then grinned.

Danny exhaled. "So Alice what else have I missed?"

"Nothing." she assured.

He stood up and shook his head. "You sure you haven't forgot them?" he muttered.

"Don't take this out on me Danny, you chose to move out! It isn't my fault you're missing things!"

"Yeah and you chose to move here!" he retorted. "So yes it is!"

"God I can't even talk to you can I?" she seethed.

He stomped from the room.

"I wish I could forget you!" she breathed as he left.

"The feeling is mutual!" he told her before closing the door.

Alice rubbed her face, this was doing her head in!

(X)

Danny walked around the kitchen like a bear with a sore tooth. Michael walked in unusually chipper.

"Morning Danny."

Danny scowled in reply. "Morning." he checked his watch. "Charlie needs to be up for school."

He checked Robbie was ok in his chair then went to the bottom of the stairs. "Charlie sweetheart time for school."

"Um up." she called in reply.

Danny smiled shaking his head.

"She an early bird?" Michael asked as Danny walked into the kitchen.

"Who Charlie? No way!"

"But she answered."

"She does that so often she does it in her sleep. I'll have to go up in ten. Happens every morning."

Alice walked into the kitchen. Danny blanked her and placed toast on the table.

Michael poured himself some coffee and stared at the paper the boy had delivered.

"How'd you sleep Mike?" Alice asked.

"Fine thank you, your sofa is very comfortable."

"Yeah." Danny replied. "I spend a lot of time on their don't I Alice." he asked snidely.

"Yeah he does." she told Michael.

"Ooo-kay." Michael drawled. "Mind if shower?" he had washed last night but he wanted to get away from this tension.

"Go ahead, towels are where I showed you last night."

Michael left the room quickly.

"Thanks Danny, for pretending to be my loving husband!" she told him sarcastically.

He narrowed his eyes. "What am I not devoted enough? I am here aren't I?"

"O yeah Danny, your silent anger screams love!"

"Well you'd know all about that Alice!"

She raised her hands in the air a gesture of frustration. "Danny!"

"I'd better get Charlie out of bed!"

Alice's teeth were on edge. She was so sick of this crap! At this moment in time it would actually be worth fending off Michael's advances then actually fighting with Danny, she was so scared that she was gonna end up hating Danny, and that thought broke her heart. It wasn't that she hadn't seen this side of Danny before, she had but it had never lasted this long before. She hadn't been able to deal with it in the past and she still couldn't now. She still loved him…but she was starting to slowly forget what that felt like. She felt cold at the moment and she was never cold when Danny was with her. He was a constant never ending supply of warmth in her life.

Charlie walked in rubbing her eyes. "Morning mum."

Alice forced a smile for her daughter. "Morning sweetie."

"You and Danny back together?" ran her fingers across Robbie's tray. He grabbed them and pushed them in his mouth.

"Eww Robs!" Charlie laughed, then tickled under his chin.

"He's just staying helping me with Robbie, look Charls don't mention mine and Danny's problem to Michael "

Charlotte frowned and picked up a slice of toast then sat down. "Why?"

"He'd try to fix it which would make it worse." she fudged, the truth being he'd try to make his move and she was so NOT interested.

Charlotte shrugged and poured herself some orange juice.

"How's trinity?" Alice asked.

"Ok, the kids are pretty cool, and they like me too!" Only coz she hit a teacher, next time they wanted to see it…..they actually thought there was gonna be a next time!

"Why are they in trinity?" Alice hazarded.

"Disobedience and stuff."

"Are you sure these kids…." Alice began.

Charlotte gave her a dark look.

"Ok, but I don't want you in trouble."

Charlotte exhaled shaking her head.

Alice meanwhile got up and began to fill the sink to wash the breakfast dishes. Danny walked in wearing jeans and a t-shirt his blue work scrubs over his shoulder and clothes for Robbie in his hand. "C'mon little man time to get dressed and stun all the ladies." picked him up and took him to the living room.

Charlotte noticed that her mum and Danny didn't even look at each other, she felt sick at the thought of where they may end up.

Danny returned with a dressed Robbie, put him back in his chair. "Charlie you want me to drop you off?"

Her face lit up. "Yeah! Just let me get my tie and pull my shoes on then I'm ready to go."

"Charlie I thought I took you to school, Michael wanted to come too." Alice asked.

Charlotte made a face as soon as Michael was mentioned. "Mum please!" she pleaded.

"But Michael…."

"I want Danny!" she told her mother, leaving no room for argument.

Alice shrugged. "Ok."

Charlotte ran upstairs.

Alice turned on Danny as soon as Charlie was out of earshot. "Playing doting daddy while Michael is here isn't helping!"

"What?" he asked. "I have NEVER had to play at it!"

"No? You have taken her to school a handful of times since we moved here!"

"Because Alice I am the new guy at work, which I means I get all the early's! They have a new vet which means I'm not! Today I start at ten and I decided to drop my daughter off school since her mother is trying to make her forget me!"

"Don't start Danny I'm not…."

"Why are you all for her getting to know Michael then? He was never mentioned and now that he is here I'm just dropped?"

"I want to give him a fair chance, he knows this is his last chance and I don't want him to have any excuses if it goes wrong!"

"Yeah right!"

She took a step forward. "You want to elaborate on what you mean by that comment?"

"What you actually need me to? How about I put it like this, I find it very funny that he shows up, out of the blue as soon as we are having problems!"

Her face flushed and hardened, she actually looked ready to kill. "Yeah almost like I planned it huh?" she hissed.

He scowled.

"Don't play that game with me Danny!" she warned voice low and deadly. "You know I'm nothing if not faithful!"

He had to give her that, she had offers and opportunities to cheat and she never had. He trusted her completely, even now. He raised his hands in surrender. I'm sorry." he told her softly. "Really, you'd never…."

"Yeah, I'd NEVER!" her eyes flashing fire. "No matter how much you might push me!"

He rubbed his head. "Look Alice." he started voice neutral. "I'm not letting him cut into my time with her, all my spare time I used to spend with the kids, at Leopards Den and here. HE is the one who has to do the work, I am already her dad, he isn't!"

Charlotte returned, looked between her mum and Danny, saw the angry look on her mothers and Danny looking guilty. She exhaled sadly.

"You ready?" Danny asked.

She nodded.

"I'll grab my case." he murmured and walked off.

Charlotte went over and kissed her mum and Robbie. Then walked outside. Danny appeared at the kitchen door.

"She is already at the car." Alice told him stonily her back to him.

"Alice…"

She spun. "What?" she snapped breathing heavily.

He shook his head. "Nothing." walked to his son in his high chair. "Be good little man." kissed him then he left.

Alice heard the front door close and her composure began to evaporate. She began to breath audibly through her mouth trying to control the threat of tears. She point blank refused to cry! She spun again and thrust her hands in the hot water, her eyes burning, her throat tight. She fisted her hands and pounded it off the bottom of the sink water splashed on her feet. How could he say that to her? Even think it never mind put it into words! She'd never cheat on him! EVER. She loved him too much! Why would he want to hurt her like that?

She closed her eyes and blanked her mind something she did to calm herself, immediately her mind was filled with a vision of their goodbye kisses, they were usually slow and long, a combination of all the kisses they wouldn't have during the day. She opened her eyes. She didn't want to think about him right now, she didn't like him very much!

Michael walked in. God she had forgot he was here!

"So Charlotte ready to go?" he asked.

"Danny took her to school." she replied dryly.

Michael sat down at the table. "How do I get her attention Alice?"

Alice dried her hands and picked up her son who was starting to grizzle. "I don't know if you can Mike. If you stay long enough she'll begin to pay attention, or not as long as she's here Danny is too."

"I really messed up huh?"

Alice nodded. "You left it wide open for a man to take your place and Danny more than filled it. She doesn't need you coz she has him."

"I'll find a way!"

"Are you gonna walk away this time? You are a good dad Mike when you're single. When you have a girlfriend Charlie is forgotten. You told me you and your wife split, you will begin dating again I assume."

"I'm gonna try to be a good dad to her Alice."

"It's not good enough to try Mike! If you wanna share the space Danny has, and I say share coz she will never give him up willingly then you have to make a commitment to seeing her, if not often but consistently. Nothing can cut into that time, bar death!"

He nodded seriously, there was silence for a moment. "Alice will you give me Rowan's address?"

"I'm heading over his way later so I'll take you." she knew he want to see her brother and it got her out of the house.

"Thanks, I haven't seen him in years."

"Trust me he hasn't changed!" Alice replied.

**A/N things seem to go from bad to worse between danice! Things are not good people :(  
>One more chapter up tonight and i disappear again, my foot is alot better now : **


	11. Alice Needs To Stay

Rowan and Michael sat in Rowans backyard enjoying the warm sunshine. Alice had her visit and then left leaving the men alone to catch up.

"So." Rowan said knowingly. "You and Alice gonna try again?"

Michael, who was just taking a drink of his coffee coughed and spluttered. "What?"

"The way you two were, the way she laughed with you. The way you joked, just like old times, she's falling for you mate."

Michael frowned. "What about Danny?"

Rowan snorted. "So they are back together then!"

"Back together?" Michael questioned.

"He moved out before you got here, they split up."

"That explains the way they were acting this morning, actually they have been weird the whole time I've been here. He's living with her again."

Rowan made a face. "Alice's problem is she has been nuts about the guy pretty much since she set eyes on him. Ever since then she hasn't been able to see anyone else. She'll follow him back to Africa if she has to. I've liked having Alice close. I asked her to move back here, she didn't want to but I convinced her. I don't want her going back there!"

"Rowan she's a grown woman!" Michael countered.

Rowan grinned. "So you noticed."

"Hard not to!"

"Michael she needs a reason to stay, if she falls for you….." Rowan murmured.

"Look Rowan it's not that I wouldn't, I'll always carry a torch for her and she is more gorgeous now then she was back when we were kids but….she loves Danny and Charlie….she won't give me the time of day. I can't compete!"

"Do anything Michael, or do you want your kid going back to Africa?"

"Rowan no matter what I do or say Alice will pick him, even with the way they are arguing she lied to me and told me they were together for God's sake!"

Rowan exhaled. "She'd kill me if she knew we were talking like this, I just can't let her move away to Africa again. I almost died and my sister was hundred of miles away!"

"Yeah heard about that mate, canny bad!"

"And this time I'm losing my niece and nephew too, I couldn't stop her last time but this time….I refuse!" Rowan carried on.

"DO you not like Danny or something?"

"He's a good guy, but he likes things his own way. Like he came back here willingly and lets her know he wants to go back to Leopards Den and tries to force it, but still makes it her choice."

Michael nodded.

"Look I'll tell Alice I'll watch the kids so she and Danny can go out, you gatecrash yeah?"

"Rowan I won't!"

He exhaled. "Fine but you have the chance if you want to."

"You are trying to split up your sisters marriage!" Michael countered.

"It's already split, I'm just helping Danny finish the job."

"If I get involved and she finds out bang goes my chances of a second chance with her, so you do whatever you want but I won't get involved."

Rowan nodded realising what he said was true. He began to smile slowly. "I have a better idea anyway."

(X)

Charlotte say in trinity with the rest of her group. She was completing her work while the rest of the group were talking.

"Hey Charlotte what you doing the work for?" TJ asked.

"Coz I'll get in trouble if I don't."

"You're in trinity, we never do work and nothing happens!" he replied.

"Plus if the teachers starts just do what you did to Daniels!" Lauren told her.

"Yeah suppose." Charlotte murmured putting her pen down slowly.

TJ grinned. "So who's the next teacher you're gonna hit?"

Charlie frowned. "That was an accident."

"My friend saw it!" Brain told her. "No accident."

"But…."

"If it was me I'd do it to Addison, bastard!" Lauren declared. "He's the reason I'm in here!"

"What are you in for?" Charlotte asked them collectively.

"Fighting pupils." Brian told her.

"Constantly getting thrown out of lessons!" TJ smirked. "No one controls me! Unlike Theo over there, little teachers pet!"

They glanced over at a blond boy head bowed completing his work he looked, Charlie smiled at him.

"Ignore him Charlotte and don't smile, he's well gay!" Brian said loudly.

Theo looked away.

Charlotte stood up. "You shouldn't say stuff like that Brian, there's no need to bully him!" she walked across. "Hi."

"Hello." he whispered and bent over his work.

Charlie sat down. "You ok?"

He nodded not looking at her.

"Why you here?"

"Coz I need help with my work and the school have no support." he looked at her. "They say I'm stupid and gay."

"Well I don't think you're stupid and it doesn't matter about anything else." smiled widely.

"I'm not, you know….gay."

Charlie laughed.

He smiled in reply.

"Don't listen to them, they are trouble." he whispered.

"I'll be fine." she assured.

"Charlotte…."

"I need friends I just moved here, I feel like the odd girl out."

"I'll be your friend." he offered.

"Till you get your support and then I'll be alone in here, don't worry."

The teacher came and Charlotte went back to her seat.

"Charlotte why aren't you finished?"

"Coz she didn't want to!" Brian said loudly.

"Quiet Brian!" The teacher hissed then looked at Charlotte. "Well?"

Charlotte looked at Theo then at the table she was sat at. Stiffened her back and smirked cockily, knew how to reply. "Coz I didn't want to!"

The teacher flushed. "Just for that lines and detention."

"What and you think I'll do them?"

TJ laughed.

"Sit down and finish Charlotte!" the teacher warned.

"Or what?"

"I'll call your mum!"

"Like I care!" Charlotte replied.

"Ok then!" the teacher walked off. Charlotte sat down. TJ put his hand on her back. "You're one of us now!"

Charlotte smiled at the kids surrounding her. She had friends, she belonged!

(X)

Alice had returned to Rowans Michael had left to phone his solicitor about something. She and Rowan were in the living room.

"Alice I had an idea, why don't I watch the two kids while you and Danny spend some time alone."

Alice raised an eyebrow. Robbie snuffled in sleep and she looked at her sleeping child. "No thanks."

"You and he need some time, I'm trying to help!"

"I'd rather have my teeth pulled then spend time alone with him Rowan!"

"C'mon Alice, this is your Danny. The man you love, your husband!"

Alice exhaled.

"Don't lie to me and say you don't love him coz I know you do. This could do you both the world of good."

"And how do I get him to spend time alone with me, we can't be in the same room without an argument starting!"

"I'll get him to the restaurant you be ready!"

"Restaurant?"

"You're less likely to argue in public." he countered.

She nodded. "Good point!" then she remembered what they were like. Stilted silences. "This is still a bad idea."

"I'll book the restaurant, candlelit dinner for two."

"With arsenic at the ready in case I need it."

"You wouldn't kill him!" he laughed.

Maybe she wouldn't use it on him! You know what, she shouldn't be doing this... "Rowan…."

"For me sis, I love you and want what's best for you."

She nodded then picked her child up knowing that Ropwan wasn't going to be deterred. She was going to have to pick Charlie up soon from school anyway. She left telling Rowan she'd drop the ids off in an hour or two.

Meanwhile after ringing the restaurant Rowan rang Danny.

"Hello." Danny replied after a few rings.

"Danny it's Rowan."

"Is it Alice." he asked immediately. "Is she ok?"

"No."

Danny exhaled.

"Get your Sunday best out, Alice is going to be waiting at a restaurant for you tonight."

"Erm, no way I'd rather not!"

"You owe me Danny!" Rowan snapped.

"How exactly? I can think of a few ways you owe me!"

"Danny do this for Alice, your marriage!"

"But…."

"Do you love her Danny?" Rowan challenged.

"Rowan…."

"Do you love my sister?" Rowan repeated, his voice cold.

"You know I do."

"Then get there for her, this is your chance, you might not get another!"

Danny was silent, Rowan was right he and Alice might make up tonight or at least it was a chance for them to talk. "Ok." he finally agreed.

"You gonna pick her up or meet her there?" Rowan asked.

"I'll pick her up."

"Good!" then told him the name of the restaurant and the time he had booked.

"Thanks Rowan." Danny murmured.

"Don't mention it." and he disconnected. Not it was all up to….

(X)

Alice stood in her bedroom, she wasn't looking fancy tonight. To be honest she wasn't bothered about her appearance. She pulled a brush through her hair and left it hanging. Then dressed in her lemon dress and surveyed the mirror. She could go in tracksuit bottoms and Danny wouldn't notice! She checked her clock. Best make her way to the restaurant then! She heard the doorbell ring. No doubt Rowan coming to tell her that Danny refused, she had taken the phone off the hook and turned her mobile off in case Danny called and they argued. She walked down the stairs slowly and opened the door. Her jaw dropped when she found Danny at the door holding a bouquet of mixed flowers.

"Hi." she squeaked. He was wearing his blue suit, the one he looked gorgeous in. That suit plus Danny equalled devastating! She cleared her throat.

"Hi." he smiled, she noticed it was sort of shyly and melted. "These are for you."

"Thanks." she took then. "I wasn't expecting um…"

He nodded. "I know, I thought I'd surprise you."

"I just need to sort my hair!"

"Leave it, I like it hanging around your face like that." his eyes soft as he looked at her.

Right Alice was dreaming, or on drugs! She and Danny didn't talk like this, they yelled!

"I have one rule for tonight." he suggested. His eyes glowed and Alice resolved to promise him the earth as long as he continued to look at her like that. "No mention of Leopards Den, no London, no Charlie or Robbie, no arguing, just me and you."

She nodded and grinned a wide and genuine smile. "Easiest promise I ever made."

"Well?" he offered his hand.

She took it an they left the house together.

**A/N that end there sounded promising...but Rowan has something planned to keep Alice in the UK and it includes breaking them up :( hopefully it all won't go wrong. And Charlie is starting to get in trouble at school :(**


	12. The Last Time We Made Each Other Happy?

Danny and Alice sat in a restaurant, it was a little awkward. His stipulation at what they weren't allowed to talk about was all they used to talk about recently.

"So your uncles house?" Alice asked. "Big?"

"Not as big as Georgina's but quite big. 4 bedrooms, 2 en suite bathrooms and the garden is bigger than I have ever seen in England!"

She nodded and silence fell once again.

"Have you been ok?" Danny asked softly. "Sleeping, eating?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You look a little pale, I was worried but I didn't want to ask."

She nodded. "Yeah, I eat often and sleep as much as I can."

"Are the kids…."

"No, I'm just having trouble at the minute."

"I'm a phone call away if you need me to get the kids, so you can have a couple of hours to relax or catch up on some sleep."

She nodded. "I know."

"I'll always be here for you, not just the kids." he promised.

Alice opened her mouth to reply when the waiters brought their food. Alice looked down at her plate and grimaced. Brown sludge on her plate, or the equivalent with peas, carrots and dauphenoise potatoes.

Danny looked at it and scowled. "God are they sure that is dead?"

She looked up and smiled at him. "I hope so, I assume they expect me to eat it!"

He prodded the meat with his fork. Gristle made it shine and at the prod it slid around the plate.

Alice made a disturbed face.

"That isn't good enough!" Danny said angrily.

"Danny no…"

"Hey mate I want the manager!" he told a waiter.

The kid paled then nodded.

The manager arrived. "What on earth!" he said when he saw Alice's plate.

"My thoughts exactly!" Danny agreed.

"Look it's…" Alice began.

"My wife doesn't like to cause a fuss." Danny told him. "But that is disgraceful!"

2 waiters appeared and took the plates. "We'll have another meal brought to you and a bottle of wine on the house. We can only apologise!"

Danny nodded.

The manger walked off obviously furious.

"Danny it was fine." Alice told him. She looked at him and felt sadness fill her, just there reminded her of old times when he used to stick up for her, she had missed it.

"No it wasn't, you can't tell me you were gonna eat that Alice!"

"Of course not!"

"Good coz my kids need their mother!" he declared.

A laugh erupted from laughed.

"Plus I can't let my date go hungry, what sort of husband would I be?"

"You'd take for me McDonalds then?"

"You know me so well!"

They shared a smile.

"You know Danny, it actually reminded me of the time Dupe cooked tea."

"Yeah!" he agreed. They both leaned in closer, hands touching across the table. "He was so sure it was gonna be the best we ever eaten."

"Nomsa rang the hospital and pre booked us all for out stomachs pumped." Alice chuckled.

"Until I came to the rescue!" Danny nodded. "Mara had an emergency tracking!"

She put her hand on her chest. "My hero!"

"It was for purely selfish reasons, I can eat a lot but that…."

She smiled.

"Then while he was gone I went to the takeaway and bought a load of chips." Danny added.

"And I turned the heat up on the oven so his food burned."

He raised his glass to her. "We always were a good team."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"That wasn't long after we first got together was it?" she asked.

"After that infamous kiss at our copy. I remember trying to find time alone it that madhouse. We failed a lot!"

Alice felt the warmth that had left when Danny had slowly beginning to return and flood her body. "Dupe and Evan used to watch us back then, then burst in coz they thought it was funny!"

Danny smiled wickedly. "Till we got our own back."

"We? What's this we?" then she smiled. "You had to feel sorry for Dupe though."

"Hey they backed off!"

She lowered her voice. "Yeah but you hiding under the quilt pretending we were at it…..wasn't that a teensy bit far?"

"I found him and corrected him immediately, told him next time it might be real. He nearly drank himself into a coma that night!" he chuckled.

"He couldn't look me in the face for months, honestly Danny he'd see me avert his eyes and almost blush, and I wasn't even in on it!"

"You gave me the idea."

"No I didn't."

"Did." he countered.

"How?"

"Coz once after Evan burst in you said that one day we'd be in the throes of passion and Evan would walk in and need therapy for life…..I chose Dupe for obvious reasons."

Again they shared a smile across the table.

"Georgina said to me the first time she saw me that I wasn't what you were expecting, was she right?"

"Completely!" he took a sip of his wine, the mood between them relaxed.

"You weren't what I was expecting either." she admitted.

"What were you expecting?"

"Well I had heard of the infamous Danny Trevanion the vet from the UK who was pretty much a God in those parts."

"Really? A god, I like that!"

"No but not one person has a bad thing to say about you, I was expecting someone older, sort of distinguished."

He sat up straighter. "Hey, I'm distinguished!"

She grinned. "You know what I mean, it sorta threw me that you were so….normal."

"Is that a compliment or an insult."

She wiggled her eyebrows. "I'll let you decide."

Danny couldn't take his eyes off Alice, she looked so beautiful sat there, her blue eyes animated and bright, looking at him in a way she hadn't in a long time. He reached up and touched her cheek gently. "You weren't what I was expecting but you are definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me. They say the best things in life are sometimes the things that you don't plan on, I didn't really believe that until you."

She swallowed thickly. "I almost didn't go that day. I was worried about taking Charlie into the bush, I would have missed out on so much. On falling in love with you, just meeting the person I love more than anything."

Danny raised his eyebrows, she had never told him she nearly didn't come! "I love you too."

They leant in and shared a soft sweet kiss.

"I should have know that it would be you two causing trouble!" a playful voice came from behind Alice.

Danny pulled away and looked in the direction of the voice. "Vanessa!" he declared, stood up and hugged her. "Look at you, you look amazing!"

Alice turned in her seat and smiled. "Hi."

"So you own this place?" Danny asked putting his hands in his trouser pockets.

Vanessa nodded. "Much easier than Mara, no lions to try and control."

He laughed. "I bet."

"I am so sorry about your meal, I can't believe that someone sent out that rubbish!"

"It's fine." Danny assured. "Plus free wine."

So it was fine to Vanessa? Alice thought. And he complemented her on how she looked yet not his wife! He and Vanessa were stood talking leaving her feeling like a third wheel. She crossed her arms angrily.

"So are you two here for a holiday?" Vanessa asked.

"No we're here for good."

"Really?" Vanessa frowned "I always thought a crowbar couldn't prise you from Leopards Den…..unless you lost it."

"Oh no, we did lose it but then we bought it back as a joint lot along with Mara."

Vanessa grinned. "You own Mara? Wow."

"Well co own it with a man called Ed Lynch. He's a vet too."

"Three vets around."

"Four actually, Rosie is home."

"This all sounds brilliant. You know I always had a feeling that Leopards Den and Mara would be combined one day."

Right Alice wasn't listening to this! She knew what Vanessa was alluding to! She got her bag and left, neither Danny nor Vanessa noticed, too deep in conversation.

"So you and Alice moved here? You like it?"

"Alice does…." he looked and saw her chair vacant. "Alice?"

Vanessa looked around. "She probably went to the ladies."

Danny nodded. "Yeah."

"Anyway I better be getting back to the office. You two are more than welcome here anytime, just ring me. And I hope we can all catch up outside of work. She rattled off her office number. Danny hugged her once more. "It was lovely seeing you both."

Danny smiled. "You too."

"Don't be strangers." then she kissed his cheek.

"We won't."

Alice was stood outside the restaurant waiting for a taxi. Was she overreacting? Danny and Vanessa had been close once before she met him. If she had came they probably would have progressed to being a couple. Danny had only ever had eyes for her….apparently. She walked back to the restaurant and saw Vanessa kiss Danny's cheek through the window. She clenched her teeth together, heard a car beep. She spun swiftly and climbed in giving her address. What was the point?

(X)

Danny reached Alice's house over an hour later and was seething. He had sat at their table for ten minutes then waited close to the toilets for ten. He had to ask some random woman who told him the toilets were empty. Now people probably thought he was some sort of perve waiting by the toilets! O this was NOT good! He opened the door using his key.

"Alice?" he called.

Felt fear when she didn't answer, the whole of downstairs was in darkness.

"Alice!" he called again. Ran upstairs, exhaled in relief when he saw a light on in the bathroom. She emerged suddenly a towel wrapped around her head, a bathrobe on.

She spotted him and jumped. "Jesus Danny!" she cried. "You trying to kill me or what?"

"Why'd you leave?" he asked.

"Like you need me to tell you that!"

"Hey I spent thirty minutes in that restaurant looking like an idiot!"

"So did I! How does it look when a man stands and talks to another woman while he is on a date with his wife!" she stomped off to her room and he followed her.

"Danny excuse me but I need to get ready and you need to go home."

He exhaled. "You should have told me Alice, you shouldn't have left."

"In the past you would have spoke to her before we left instead of ignoring me!"

"We haven't seen her in ages Alice, what do you expect?"

"This was our night Danny, we were working stuff out, talking like we used to. I felt like I knew you again, felt like I loved you again…..then you go and remind me about what I hate about you!"

His eyes flared. "Why do I bother? Why did I let Rowan talk me into this! It was a stupid idea!"

"I don't know! Oh and since spending time and talking with me is stupid why don't you go see Vanessa? Marry her?"

"I just might!" he yelled.

She clenched her fists. "You would too!"

He covered his face with his hands, he couldn't do this anymore. "I want a divorce." shook his head then walked downstairs.

Alice stood there, mouth agape, tears in her eyes unable to talk. She dressed robotically then went downstairs, found Danny in the kitchen, arms crossed on the table his head rested upon them.

"Did you mean that Danny?" she whispered.

He exhaled and raised his head. She saw his eyes red rimmed and glistening. He stood up, took her hands in his and sat her down beside him, took his seat. "Everything we had Alice, it's gone. Everything we say and do now…." he paused and frowned. "I can't live like this anymore. Tonight just emphasised it. We spoke about everything we did before. How happy we were before, in love before. All past tense. When was the last time we made each other happy?"

A lone tear slipped down her cheek, she knew what he was saying was true.

"I love you Alice, believe me when I tell you that."

"I love you too." she replied voice faltering. "So why can't we work this out?" her heart breaking.

He wiped his eyes. "I don't know."

"Suppose you're gonna go back to Leopards Den?"

"No." he promised. "I'm a father to the kids first, they might need me and I'm no good to them thousands of miles away."

She nodded.

He stood up, took her hand kissed her gently then hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry!"

Alice buried her face into his shirt. "I never thought we'd come to this." her voice breaking. "I thought we'd be together forever."

"I know." he breathed still holding her to him, wishing this was a bad dream he was going to wake up from. Silence fell and still they held each other, neither willing to let the other go, because once they did Danny was going to leave and then that was it what they had was finished.

She felt the moment he decided that he had to let her go. He seemed to tense, then he quickly released her turned quickly and left.

She didn't see the tears streaming down his face, her own vision too blurred with unshed tears.

**A/N so rowans plan worked, deliberately sending them to the restaurant vanessa owned knowing how close Danny and vanessa used to be :( there is more! x**


	13. I Hate You

Charlotte sat in the living room the next night head bowed, she was in big trouble, like Massive trouble! She swore at her teacher! She didn't know what happened, one minute she was laughing with her friends and the next the teacher was yelling at her, the swear word just came out!

Why was she acting like this? She finally had friends here, that was all she wanted. She hated to give her mum more stress, she walked around like in a trance sometimes and then she'd look so upset, like totally devastated at times! Charlie had to give her the letter though, she was suspended again. Her mum had to go in and see the teachers, she was out of school until the beginning of next term, her mum was gonna go mad! It wasn't her fault though! After swearing at the teacher stupid Mr Addison came in and started mouthing off, she really shouldn't have threatened him she hadn't meant to….she'd just lost her temper. Her mum walked in looking normal.

"Mum…." Charlie said hesitantly.

"Yeah sweetie."

"Here's a letter from school for you."

Charlotte handed it over then began wringing her hands together. Her mum had tore open the envelope and was reading it.

"What happened?" Alice asked calmly….too calmly.

"I lost my temper."

"So you told Mr Addison that you were gonna get Danny to beat him up!" Alice seethed.

"When you say it like that it sounds bad!"

"What did you say?"

"Ummm…..errr…" Charlie stuttered.

"It says in here that your exact words were leave me alone before I get my dad to kick your stupid fat head in!"

"He called me stupid first!" Charlotte crossed her arms face mutinous.

"Charlotte just coz someone calls you a name you don't….."

"Shut up!" Charlotte yelled standing up.

Alice's jaw dropped in shock, her daughter hadn't just said that! "What?"

"I told you to shut up!" Charlotte repeated louder than before.

"You don't speak to me like that Charlotte, EVER!"

"You can't stop me!"

"I think I can!"

"No Charlie….."

"I want to live with my dad!"

Alice frowned. "Michael?"

"No Danny."

"Charlotte…."

"I hate you! I hate you for bringing me here! I hate you for splitting up with Danny! I hate everything! Now I'm going to ring my dad!" she ran from the room upstairs.

"Charlotte get here now!" Alice shouted.

"Make me!" Charlie yelled in reply.

Alice pushed her head into her hands, she couldn't believe this! She heard Robbie begin to cry over the baby monitor. She went to his room and picked him up, usually he stopped crying immediately but he just wouldn't settle. There was a knock at the door.

Alice ignored it…. after a few minutes the door opened and Danny walked in.

Danny walked into the house took in Alice's frazzled expression. He said nothing, took Robbie from her arms, grasped her hand and led her into the sitting room. He soothed Robbie almost straight away, then went into the kitchen to make Alice a cup of hot chocolate. He placed Robbie in his play pen in the corner of the living room then went back to the kitchen to the fridge, found a teething ring chilling. He picked it up, something else Alice forgot to mention…he wasn't gonna sweat that though she looked terrible! He made the drink picked up the ring, dipped it in the chocolate then handed it to Robbie who began to gum it determinedly.

"He teething?"

She nodded. "Sorry." took the drinking chocolate.

He shook his head. "You ok?"

"I'll be fine, I'm not your problem anymore."

"Alice we might not be together but that doesn't mean….."

Charlotte stomped into the room. "And mum I'm…Danny?"

"Hello sweetheart."

"Danny I want to live with you!"

Danny's jaw dropped.

"NO Charlotte you are staying with me!" Alice told her.

"I'm his daughter I can stay with him if I want!"

"Charlotte you are MY daughter."

"His too, he adopted me!"

"He didn't!" Alice shouted impulsively. Determined to find a way to make her daughter listen.

"ALICE!" Danny yelped.

"But you both told me…." Charlotte whispered.

"He tried but Michael wouldn't sign over his parental rights"

"How am I called Trevanion then?"

"We had your name changed by deed poll."

Danny was staring at Alice darkly.

"Doesn't matter, you two are married I can still…..what?" she noticed the look that passed between her mum and Danny.

"We are splitting properly." Alice murmured. "Divorced."

"But you can't!" Charlotte cried tears falling.

Alice got up to go to her but she ran to Danny and hugged him. He wrapped her in his arms and stroked her hair.

"Who gets Robbie and me?" she whispered.

"I get joint custody of Robert." Danny told her.

She looked up at him. "And me?"

"Legally sweetie I'm just a man your mum married, I have no rights, your mum gets sole custody of you….."

He pushed her head into his chest.

"Hey hey." he said into her hair. "Doesn't mean anything to me, you'll still see me promise."

"You're my dad Danny, YOU not him! it's not fair!" she wrenched herself free from Danny and turned on her mum. "I hate you even more than before!"

Danny stood up as Charlotte ran from the room. He walked to the door, his back to Alice. "You had to tell her didn't you!"

"I was losing my daughter!"

He spun. "Now I've lost her! You promised me you'd never tell her!"

"I never thought this would happen."

He rubbed his face.

Charlotte reappeared, she was distraught. "Please Danny let me live with you!" she begged.

He looked at Alice, "That isn't possible right now sweetie. See Ed called me I have to go home…."

Charlotte's eyes lit up. "You're going back to Leopards Den?"

"For a little while."

"I'm gonna go pack, I'm going home!" she whooped.

"But Charlie…."

She had already gone.

Alice was on her feet. "I should have known! You're so scared of losing her you'll do anything!"

"What?" he gasped. "Ed did ring me!"

"I bet!" she scoffed.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and threw it on the sofa forcefully. "Ring Ed, Rosie, anyone they'll tell you! And it's for a week at most!"

"She is staying with me!" Alice told him.

"We'll just tell her she can't take time off school." Danny nodded.

"She's suspended again." Alice said dryly.

"What?"

"Yeah, told a teacher that you were gonna kick his head in!"

He winced.

"What a good example you set for the kids Danny!"

"Don't start Alice!" he was being restrained trying not to argue but she was needling him and bringing the kids into it was going too far!

"Or what? You gonna kick my head in at Charlotte's insistence?"

He narrowed his eyes then smiled. She wanted to play to like this then fine! he walked over to the play pen and picked Robbie up. "I'm taking Robbie and Charlie with me!"

"No you're not."

"You can't stop me Alice, I'm their dad. Robbie is my son as well as yours and I'm taking him to meet his family and Charlie wants to come too."

"You are Robbie's dad!" she reminded.

"Fine stop me taking Charlie…..she'll know it was you!" he said reasonably.

"Stop this Danny!" she demanded.

"NO! I'm sick of people reminding me that Charlie is not my daughter, SO sick!" he fumed. "If you trust me with her then you'll let me take her home and trust that I'll bring her back." his voice lowered at the end his anger leaving.

She glared at him.

"Why don't you come too?" he asked softly.

"No!" she said stiffly.

He had tried to be amicable but she just wouldn't do it! "Fine, but both the kids are coming with me, you don't like call the police and have me arrested."

"You take the kids without my permission and that's it, there's not turning back on the divorce." she warned.

"There isn't anyway, not after this." he said sadly. "The one promise I never thought you'd break, the fact I couldn't adopt Charlie." he handed Robbie to his mum. "Now I'm going to pack my son some stuff."

Alice didn't stop him.

(X)

Alice sat in her kitchen drinking vodka, she had drank a full bottle of wine and that hadn't helped so she moved on to harder stuff. Danny had taken Robbie and Charlie and just left, now she was alone and thought that getting absolutely off her face was the best thing she could do. What really hurt above everything else was that Charlie had picked Danny and Leopards Den over her, she had always knew Charlie loved Danny over her but she had never actually been picked second before…..and it hurt. How on earth had their little family came to this? She knew that they weren't perfect but since when had they ever used the kids in a tug of war? She still couldn't believe that she and Danny were getting divorced, they were strong, yeah they had their little blips but that was all they were. They always came out the other end.

Her mind kept on returning to the first time she met him. She had liked him at first glance, then he annoyed her, then he made it very obvious what he thought of her so she thought sod you! Then he did like her and she liked him, then he treated as a equal vet and credited the find of the nest to her. Then they shook hands and she stayed…he had her since then! A whole roller coaster of emotions she'd experienced in two days, no wonder she fell for him. She didn't know up from down! She took another drink as the radio droned on in the background.

"Have you ever wanted someone so much it hurt?" Lady Antebellum sang.

Yeah she had, back when they first met and she was so certain that they would make the perfect couple…..and they had been perfect for a while. Now? She didn't have a marriage, she had a soon to be ex husband who couldn't stand the sight of her so much he had to go to Africa to escape and a daughter who worshipped the ground he walked on. A daughter who had zero interest in her biological father because she had Danny. She new that irked Michael…..that was the reason he hadn't been back. She knocked back some more vodka realising the bottle was well on its way to being empty. As long as she passed out before then she really wasn't bothered! She really should be drunk by now, see she was drinking vodka and she had nothing to eat hmmmmm... a knock on the door startled her. She stood up and wobbled then headed to the door. Once the door opened and the cold air from outside hit her she felt her head start to swim and she suddenly had difficulty standing upright without wobbling. "Oh there we are." she whispered welcoming the drunk feeling that descended.

Michael stood and frowned. "Hi, I'm here to see Charlotte."

Alice leaned against the door. "Sorry too late she and Danny are off to visit our….his family in South Africa."

"Oh." he said deflated. "I practiced on the Xbox too."

"You're welcome to join me if you don't mind my self pity party."

"You used to cry on my shoulder when we were kids." he reminded.

"Yeah but we aren't kids anymore. Don't worry I won't cry, might pass out from drinking too much vodka though!"

He laughed until he saw she was completely serious. "You know me I never pass up the chance for free alcohol."

She held the door open and he walked inside and into the kitchen. She grabbed him a bottle of beer from the fridge then took the bottle of coke over to the table. Poured herself a liberal amount of vodka into a glass and a small amount of coke.

"When did they go?" Michael asked after a pause.

"A few hours ago and I have been drinking ever since." she exhaled. "Me and Charlie argued, then me and Danny argued then I argued with Charlie again." she probably would have argued with Danny again except they blanked each other. That thought saddened her so she started thinking of the way Danny used to smile at her, the way he used to say he loved her. So soft, so sincere.

"Do you do that a lot?" Michael asked.

"Huh?" she asked, lost in her musings.

"You and Danny? Argue a lot?"

She shrugged. "Recently, not before though Mike. At the moment we can't even be in the same room without a flare up. I'm tired of it, tired of him."

"So you don't love him anymore?" he moved slightly closer to her.

"I do, I just….he's the not the same here and I don't like the new him. There are times he's back to normal and when he's like that I can barely breathe with how much I love him, then the new him returns." she rubbed her face. "You should have seen us before Mikes." smiled sadly as she thought back. "I thought I'd found my one, the person I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, now I can't imagine spending another day like this." she looked away as tears spilled.

He got up walked to face her and knelt down in front of her, wrapped his arms around her. She kept her arms by her side.

"He's a fool to be throwing you away, I know how much of a mistake that is."

Alice didn't move into his embrace. Just kept her face obscured.

"Don't cry," he lifted her head to wipe away her tears. "Everything will work out the way its supposed to."

She inhaled deeply.

He wiped away a stray tear and his hand came to rest on her cheek.

Alice sat at him frowning. Her mind was fuzzy and she felt really tired after her drink and tears. Michael shouldn't be doing this, she had no idea why.

Michael lowered his head and kissed her.

Still she didn't move. Her brain was addled by alcohol she was a married woman…..who was soon gonna be divorced!

Michael felt no response from Alice and was about to pull away when her lips twitched. A response, he replied by deepening the kiss.

Alice found herself responding tentatively.

He took her hand and led her towards the stairs. He knew the minute he took his lips from hers she would come to her senses and stop this so he kept his lips on hers the whole time as he went to the bedroom.

**A/N - 2 words uh-oh times about 500 million - its all gonna hit the fan in the morning...and wen Danny finds out! **


	14. Morning After

Alice was lain on her stomach her head hanging off the bed. Oh God how much had she drank last night? She lifted her head and felt a pounding resound in her skull. She clutched it and rolled over…..there was a warm body beside her. She knew immediately it wasn't Danny. They had split up, he was on his way to Africa and most of all it felt wrong….very wrong! She turned her head praying it wasn't…..oh my god it was Michael! She hadn't! Please say she hadn't. She covered her face on the verge of tears. Michael opened his eyes lowered her hands and smiled at her.

"Morning gorgeous."

Alice couldn't find the words within her to talk. She was cheater, she had cheated on her husband, she felt physically sick.

Michael rolled over and gathered her close. Pressed his lips to hers.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"What?" he asked.

"Michael this was….."

"Brilliant!" he interrupted. "I know you're a morning person too." he murmured.

"NO!" she told him forcefully. "It was a mistake!"

"What?" he echoed.

"I'm married Michael."

He smiled seductively. "So?"

"I love my husband, last night I was drunk and missing him."

"Alice I was us to start again, me, you and Charlotte."

She sat up. "Are you insane?"

"I mean it."

"What about Danny? Robbie?"

"I can take on Robbie as mine. See how he likes me stealing his kid!" his tone venomous.

She narrowed her eyes. "I'd NEVER let you do that, he's good dad!"

"You let him steal my kid!" he protested.

"NO Michael you let him, you weren't there for her and she needed a dad!"

"Alice we were good together back then. We have a child."

Alice climbed from the bed unwilling to speak to him anymore. "I need a shower, just leave." she then escaped to the bathroom. As she stood under a hot spray she remembered things, him kissing her, he never took his lips from hers. She blanked her mind not wanting to venture further into her memories. She heard the front door slam and exhaled. Her head lowered and came to rest on the bathroom tiles. A mountain of guilt pressing down on her. It shouldn't matter, she and Danny weren't together, they had agreed to divorce she still felt married to him though, bound in some extricable way and now she…..

She climbed from the shower and dressed. Walked downstairs to the kitchen and saw the incriminating bottle of vodka on the table. She poured the rest down the drain vowing never to touch the stuff again she found some tablets and downed them with some orange juice. As she was sorting out toast and contemplating how quiet and empty the house was the phone rang.

"Hello." she said after picking up.

"Mum!" It was Charlie.

"Just wanted to call you to say that the three of us got here safely."

"Ok sweetie."

"I'm really sorry too mum, Danny really went mad at me for what I said. He told me that when I get home, coz we are coming home that the three of us were gonna sort some stuff out. He also told me that I was staying with you but not coz he wasn't my dad but coz he is and he knows how much me leaving would hurt you and he'd never do that to you."

Charlotte was making her feel worse! "Were you all ok on the flight?"

"Robbie threw up on Danny but apart from that we're all great. The family are cooing over Robbie. Everyone fought over who got to hold him first! I think Dupe is Robbie's favourite like me!"

Alice could hear how happy she was to be home in her voice. Could nearly feel the smile though the phone. She heard Danny's voice echo.

"Sorry mum I gotta go Danny is telling me I got to go to bed."

"Sleep tight sweetie." Alice had forgot the time difference.

"You wanna speak to Danny mum?"

Before Alice could answer she heard his smooth voice over the phone.

"Hi Alice."

She felt sick. "Hello."

"I want to apologise for how I acted yesterday, for what I've said and done since we moved to London... for everything really. I take it back about the divorce too. Being back here put it all in perspective, me and you will find a way to make us work in London, how could we not?"

Oh My God what was he saying that for? "Sorry Danny I have to go!" she squeaked tears in her eyes.

"Ok bye." he said sadly.

(X)

Danny sat on the veranda with a bottle of beer in one hand and his phone in the other, Dupe came out carrying whiskey. "You need something stronger."

"Can't Robbie…."

"Caroline and Rosie will see to him, plus he's asleep."

Danny shook his head. "No Dupe."

"Fine." Dupe said and poured himself a drink. "So?" he coaxed.

"Alice and I had an argument Dupe, not a bad one in terms of content but was bad in other ways. I got so sick of it all and told her I wanted a divorce."

Dupe literally dropped his glass. "You what Trevanion! Are you out of your mind?"

"I had been drinking and I was upset and so sick of feeling like that. I know it's no excuse but….." he exhaled and picked at the label on his bottle. "I called her earlier, she seemed distant, didn't want to talk to me. God I am so stupid! Two seconds after walking onto Leopards Den without her and I knew I didn't want to be here! I left but forgot the reason why! I didn't leave for her I left for me because I need to be close to her. How could I forget that?" Danny was tortured.

"Ach Danny don't be going all mushy…." Inside Dupe thought it was so sweet….he'd never admit it though!

"Don't worry Dupe. I've lost her, I'm in the process of losing Charlie too."

Dupe frowned. "Alice is stopping you seeing her?" Dupe picked up his glass and poured another drink.

"No."

"How then?"

"Her dad is in town, her real dad."

Dupe made a face.

"He's all ready to play daddy, Charlie is ignoring him but once I am out of the picture." he exhaled and rubbed his face.

"You're blocking him aren't you?"

"Too right!" Danny declared. "She's my kid not his!"

Dupe toasted him.

"It put more strain on me and Alice though. I subtly hinted that she was cheating with him."

"Trevanion you are the stupidest clever person I have ever met!"

Danny exhaled again.

"Have you and Alice tried to find some time alone?" Dupe suggested.

"We tired Dupe, everything was going so well…Vanessa owned the restaurant, we saw her and I spoke to her and neglected Alice. That was the night I asked for the divorce. Then Ed rang me and here I am."

"When you mess up your marriage you don't do it by half do you?"

Danny stared inside his bottle at the liquid. "I love her Dupe and I've lost her, I pushed her too much and she's gone."

"There is always a way Danny, we just need to get her here!"

Danny shook his head. "I've hurt her enough, it's best I just give her what she wants. Nothing I do will erase what I have said. It was the cheating comment…. I don't even know why I said it. She'd never do that to me."

"Danny you can't give up, not if you love her."

"I can Dupe, and I am." Danny then stood up and walked into the house.

Not if Dupe had anything to do with it! He started to plan.

**A/N awwww feel so sorry for danny especially when he realised that it took him coming back alone to see how much he loved her :/**

**I have half a chapter written after this so next update it Opp Att, i have made a deal with myself, if i work hard on mu uni work during the day i can update at night - i was going insane lol**


	15. Going Home

Alice had thrown some clothes together and was about to fly over to South Africa. She had to talk to Danny, she was placing some jeans in her case when she heard her front door open. She ignored it when she heard Rowan and Michaels voices float up to her. Rowan began calling her name.

"Shut up Rowan." she muttered under her breath.

Without warning he and Michael walked in.

"Ever heard of knocking Rowan? Try it huh?" she told him snappily. Then she glared at Michael. "What's he doing here?"

"He told me what happened." Rowan replied.

Alice scowled. "So you brought him back? Thanks bro!"

"I think it's great that you two are back together!" Rowan grinned.

"What?" Alice gasped, what had Michael been telling him?

"Now you will stay in London for good!." Rowan added.

"I have already stayed in London Rowan and look what happened and whatever he has told you is lies, we aren't back together, I'm married!"

"Alice, obviously your marriage is finished now."

She yanked her wardrobe open. "I'm not gonna let that happen! I can't believe I let it get this far!"

"Alice where are you going?" Rowan asked.

"I'm going to see my husband and try to find a way to work us out, I can't believe I slept with Michael it was a massive mistake!"

"Alice you can't go back there!" Rowan yelped pulling her away from the wardrobe.

"I can Rowan, I need to sort stuff with Danny. I love him, he's all I need. Me and Michael were over years ago." she put the clothes in her case and zipped it up. She picked it up and left without saying a word to Rowan or Michael.

They meanwhile stood there without saying a word.

"Follow her Mike, he'll find a way to keep her there!" Rowan finally uttered.

Michael was lost in thought, began to smile slowly. "Let's wait a day or two, give her time to talk to him, tell him what happened. Then I'll head across."

Rowan nodded. "He'll be pissed at what she did, seeing you will only antagonise him. Then maybe she'll come home and stay."

Michael nodded and left the room.

(X)

Danny was walking through the bush towards Mara, Ed had radioed, problems with the ellies. He had arrived and guess what? No ellies, so that had been a big waste of time! Without warning he felt a thud on the back of his head and slumped to the floor.

"Oh dammit!" Fatani groaned.

Dupe walked out of the darkness. "What you done to him?" he growled. "I said knock him out not kill him!"

"Danny….Danny c'mon." Fatani whispered.

"Whoever hit me is dead!" he groaned.

"That's our cue!" Dupe murmured you grab his legs and I'll get his head."

"But he'll kick me!" Fatani protested.

"Better you than me!" Dupe chuckled.

"Next time I'm not helping!" Fatani muttered.

"Next time I'll ask Ed, I'm sure he's whacked a few men in his time."

They bent down and picked Danny up.

"Huh? Huh?" Danny breathed.

They out him in the bed of a truck and tied his hands behind his back. Fatani sat with him. Danny stared at him.

"What is going on?" Danny growled.

"Dupe asked me to help him so I am, he called in some favours."

"You hit me?"

Fatani paled. "Maybe…."

"Ok…" Danny made a face.

"What?" Fatani asked scared.

"Making a mental note of this, one day we will be even."

Fatani's eyes widened.

"Dupppppeeeeeee!" he called. "Danny is scaring me!"

"Ah shad ap man!" then Dupe laughed raucously.

(X)

Dupe rose from bed the next morning. Saw Rosie holding Robbie at the kitchen table holding Robbie, her eyes were red rimmed, face pale.

"What's up?"

"Ed phoned, he radioed dad last night about the ellies. Dad didn't go back to the house. Ed thinks the ellie chased him and he's lost in the bush. Ed knows that dad lures ellies with oranges then runs. He has nothing Dupe, no flares, no radio, just a small flask of water."

"When was this?" Dupe tried to act concerned.

"Last night sometime."

"Maybe he….."

"He'd get back for Robbie and Charlie Dupe, I know he would."

Dupe got up and walked to his room. He knew he should have told Rosie but she was asleep when he got in last night, he couldn't risk telling her now. He had tried to ring Alice but got no answer so he left a million messages. She'd get here!

As he reached his door he heard Rosie talking to Robbie. "Don't worry Robbie, dad is fine I'm sure of it!"

Dupe exhaled. The one bad thing about this plan was that it was hurting Rosie.

(X)

Alice sat in a taxi as it drove onto Leopards Den. She asked it to stop at the sign. This was her favourite walk, she loved the look of the house as it slowly appeared in the distance. She paid the driver, lifted her case out and placed it onto its wheels. Began the trek towards the house. The first thing she noticed was the scent of the dust. She had forgotten how pleasant it was first thing in the morning. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Letting the sun warm her skin. Surprisingly she had missed this.

She was looking forward to seeing the kids, Rosie included. Looking forward to seeing the people she hadn't seen in over a year. Dupe, Nomsa Caroline. In the back of her mind she knew she had to tell Danny what she did, that she wasn't looking forward to. She reached the house and looked at it. For a second she saw a vision of Danny casually leaning against the support pole smiling at her, he was dressed in the clothes he wore when they first declared their feelings.

'_How you feeling?' _she remembered asking.

'_A bit battered and bruised….."_

Alice exhaled. Battered and bruised echoed in her brain as the image dissolved. She was gonna do that, stomp all over his heart. She began to climb the stairs when Rosie appeared.

"Dupe is that you?" she called. "Did you find…. Alice?" Rosie frowned then her eyes darkened.

Alice smiled as she saw her son looking so happy in his sisters arms, until he saw her that is. Robbie yelped and held out his arms.

"Hello baby." she crooned and walked up, "Hi Rosie, I came to see you're dad."

"Why?" Rosie spat.

"We need to talk." Alice answered.

"Mama!" Robbie called.

"Hello wee man!" she sang as Rosie handed hi over. Alice lifted him in the air then rained kisses on his face. "I've missed you." then she lowered him and he snuggled into her shoulder.

Alice felt some of her worries melt away as soon as she held her son. No matter what happened to her and Danny she would always have her wee boy, her tiny piece of Danny forever hers. "Is your dad at work?"

"Yeah he is!" Rosie replied coldly.

So Rosie knew then. "Rosie don't be like this with me please, couples have hard times, that's all this is!"

Rosie crossed her arms tightly. "Don't lie to me Alice, this is more than hard times." she lowered her voice. "I know what's happened between the two of you, I heard dad talking to Dupe! He moved to the UK for you, away from his family and you treat him like that!"

"Excuse me Rosie but I'm his wife, that makes me family!"

"Soon to be EX wife!" Rosie reminded.

"Rosie HE asked for the divorce not me and if I don't want to be with him then why I am here wanting to talk?"

"Maybe it has something to do with Michael!"

Alice paled slightly.

Rosie noticed it and narrowed her eyes more.

Alice lowered her voice. "Look I now divorce is still a raw subject for you because of you and Max but I'm not here to argue with him. I'm here to talk, clear the air, get stuff off our chest in the place we met. Just being back here makes me feel….." Alice trailed off and swallowed thickly.

Rosie relented, she could see that Alice was struggling emotionally.

"Do you think you and dad are saveable?"

Alice rubbed her face with her free hand then pressed a kiss to Robbie's head. She didn't know, and that it was what worried her. "All I know Rosie is that if we can't clear the air here, in the place we fell in love then we'll never survive in London."

"So you're going back then?" the venom returned to Rosie's voice.

"Could be."

Rosie scowled.

"Rosie I need to be close to my brother I almost lost him!"

"What about me being close to MY baby brother? My little sister? I haven't seen Charlotte is a year! Robbie was born over 7 months ago and this is the first time I have seen him face to face he doesn't even know me! And my dad too I hate this!"

Alice closed her eyes as Rosie stomped inside. If that was a sign of things to come then the future didn't look bright! Alice followed her inside and saw Charlie sat chewing her pen frowning at a piece of paper.

"Hey baby girl."

Charlotte looked up and beamed. "Mum!" ran to her and hugged her. "What you doing here?"

"I missed you so I came, what you up to?"

"Danny made me bring homework, Rosie made me do it!" she muttered her face one of pure disgust. "Why is he such a DAD?" plopped herself back into her seat.

"Coz he is your dad." Alice laughed.

"So you finally agree that, that other prick…."

"Charlie…"

"No mum! Why does he deserve that name? Yeah he made me, so? Who made me sit down and do my homework? Danny did! Who gave evils to a boy on the plane I kept smiling at? Danny did! Who sends me to bed far too early then comes in and confiscates my phone when he hears me texting? Danny! And who do I argues with but he still comes in to kiss me goodnight even when I say I hate him…..certainly not the other so called father! What is a dad mum? Someone who makes a kid or someone who sticks by them no matter what? Coz if a dad is someone who makes a kid then I have no dad!" she picked up her pen and paper and stomped off to her room.

"Well son I'm batting two for two today." Alice whispered.

She walked down the hallway knowing that Charlie was right, she was all for helping Michael when in fact why? He just shows up and walks back into Charlie's life and she just let him. She blatantly disregarded Danny's feelings and encouraged her daughter to see this new man as a father, even though Danny was the constant, the one person who never let her down. The kicker was not once did Danny blame her for wanting Charlie to meet her dad. He was clearly annoyed but kept it to himself. She pulled him from his support here and Leopards Den then just abandoned him.

"I have really messed up with your daddy son."

"Addee."

She nodded. "I have to talk to him!"

As she passed the study she heard Caroline talking in low tones. "….keeping Charlie busy since Danny is missing…."

Alice froze then walked into the study and closed the door. "Missing?"

Caroline out the radio down. "Alice?"

"What do you mean Danny is missing?"

"I mean….." she began.

"Don't lie!" Alice warned coldly.

Caroline exhaled. "Ed had an ellie problem. Danny is good with the ellies, always has been so he went over to Mara. Ed said they were working all night something spooked an ellie Danny was in it's path. He was in-between fencing and trees so he did the only thing he could he ran, the ellie in pursuit. Ed got straight into a truck and followed, they found the ellie…but no Danny."

Alice paled and rubbed her face.

"How long has he been missing?"

About twelve hours."

"Twelve hours?" she squeaked. Visions of Danny lain in the bush filled her head. Remembered him lying in the grass Hamley stood by his side. Remembered him after he was trampled by wildebeest, an image of a lion appeared and she stifled a small scream.

"Radio?"

"No radio, no gun, no supplies at all."

She ran her hand through her hair then thrust Robbie at Caroline.

"Where you going?" she asked as Alice headed to the door.

"To find my husband! If I can get Dupe to take me to the spot he was I bet I could find him, I know how he thinks, what he'd do."

"But…."

"Please watch the kids for me Caroline, I can't sit at home not knowing whether he's alive or dead!"

Caroline nodded.

"Don't tell Charlie ok?"

"She's suspicious." Caroline replied.

"She'll worry herself sick."

"Like her mother is?"

"This isn't about me." then she walked from the room into Charlottes. "Hey Charlie Dupe heard me talking to Caroline over the radio and they need me at Mara. I'll be a little while ok."

"But mum they have Danny and Ed."

"They are sorting some giraffe in the bush, this is a lion problem."

"What about Rosie?"

"They asked for her but she isn't fully qualified yet, I am."

Charlie nodded. "Ok mum, see you later."

Alice shut the door, grabbed some keys a gun and water. She was going to find her husband.

Meanwhile Caroline radioed Dupe. "She's on her way..."

(X)

Dupe and Ed were hiding in the bush in the place where Danny was 'lost'.

"Du Plessis this is a bad idea!" Ed hissed.

"This is a brill idea!" Dupe crowed. "Look Ed you weren't here when I got them together, there was a storm and I sent them out to deal with the giraffe. Ok yeah they both nearly died….."

Ed's jaw dropped.

Dupe carried on ."….but it all worked out in the end and they got together. The thing with Danny and Alice is as soon as they are alone they just work stuff out but that is what they need, no interruptions."

"You're not planning on doing that this time are you…..nearly killing them coz I didn't agree to that!"

"Don't be stupid man!"

"Du Plessis…"

They heard a truck rattling along.

"Ssshhh!" Dupe told him then grinned, "Lets get ready to rumble."

"Rumble, what is it we are doing exactly?" Ed whispered urgently.

"Follow my lead."

"Oh no!" he drew out. "No no no!" he said in rapid succession. "I'm not helping unless I know."

"Ok, I'll go out there, when I throw a sack over her you run up and restrain her."

Ed's eyes widened and Dupe chuckled.

"Were you serious?" Ed asked.

"Course not Trevanion would kill me!" Dupe pulled out handcuffs. "There you go."

"What am I supposed to do with these?"

"Do I have to think of everything?"

Ed frowned.

"Be imaginative." Dupe coaxed.

Ed frowned. "Why don't you distract her then I'll use these."

Dupe nodded. "Now you are getting the hang of kidnapping. Your suggestion that me and Fatani should have just asked Danny to go was boring!"

"Kidnapping him and locking him away was worse!" Ed reminded.

"Hey it worked, he's still there!"

"And probably concussed!" Ed muttered.

The truck stopped and they heard gravel crunching beneath feet. Dupe winked at Ed then crept into the bush and emerged.

Alice spotted him. "Any sign Dupe? Any at all?"

"No sorry."

Alice's face fell and she turned away.

Dupe motioned Ed over.

Ed tried to move but couldn't. His shirt caught on some twigs.

"What if he's been seriously hurt Dupe?" she moaned.

"It'll be ok Alice you never know he might COME NOW!" he growled.

Alice was too upset to notice he was being weird. She walked to her truck to grab a torch and Dupe motioned Ed over waving his hand towards him.

Ed's head popped up and he pointed to the tree, mouthed stuck he looked in Alice's direction and disappeared again.

Alice turned around suddenly and saw Dupe with his hand in the air, Dupe glanced at his raised hand then Alice, then ran it through his hair.

She frowned suspiciously. "What is going on?"

"Nothing!" he assured.

"Dupe!"

"Really!" he reiterated.

Alice looked to the greenery. "Is someone in those bushes?"

"No!" he promised.

She raised her gun and aimed it at the bushes.

"Alice!" he yelped a squeak.

"If there is no one there…."

Dupes shoulders slumped. "He's stuck."

"I am never agreeing to help you again Du Plessis!" Ed growled. "This is one of my favourite shirts!"

Alice walked over and looked down at him. "Ed Lynch?"

He nodded.

She spotted the handcuffs.

"This isn't what you think!" he promised.

Alice raised her eyebrows. "What do I think?"

"That I stupidly let Du Plessis talk me into doing something insane?"

She nodded. "Spot on."

"Danny spoke about you a lot." he stood up. "It's nice to finally meet you, properly that is. last time I seen you you were...different."

"You mean larger!" Dupe laughed as they shook hands briskly.

"NO, I mean pregnant!" Ed fidgeted clearly uncomfortable.

"Ok Dupe." she told him ignoring Ed's discomfort. "Talk!"

"I know where Danny is and I know id I get the two of you alone then you will work things out."

Alice felt nerves fill her, knew that with what she had to tell Danny then he wouldn't appreciate anyone seeing him until after…..

Alice nodded. "I agree, take me to him."

"Just like that?" Dupe murmured puzzled.

"Yeah, just like that."

Dupe grinned at Ed. "You and your harebrained schemes!"

Ed narrowed his eyes.

**A/N next chappie is alice telling danny, half written sorry to emily for not updating opp att, this one kinda stole my attention :/ will gt some up soonish, there is some cute rax coming x**

**ANYWAY i am hating ITV atm, you all probs know y...at least we gt the 2 hr special, or 2 hour episodes :( 7.5 mill viewers isn't bad mst programs wood kill for that grrrr! anyway not gonna rant :( gonna put up first chappie (or two) of my new story tho if i cn get it typed tonight x**


	16. The Beginning of The End

**A/N Alice cheated danny and has came to leopards den to sort things, dupe knew she on her way and has kidnapped danny so that Danice cn tlk alone alone**

(X)

Danny paced in the hut. He had tried to break out but this place was locked up tight. He was seriously gonna kill Dupe this time, what on earth was he trying to achieve with this? He had two kids at home who needed him and meanwhile he was locked in this hut alone! He pounded a closed fist off the wall and felt like howling in rage. He heard a truck pull to a stop outside. He walked to the door and pounded on the wood. "Let me out Dupe NOW!" he raged.

"You have a visitor, move from the door." Dupe advised.

"I don't want a visitor I want…." the door opened and he saw his wife stood there. "Alice?"

She nodded and inhaled nervously.

"He and Fatani kidnapped me." he saw Ed sat in the truck. "Ed? You too? You're mud!" he growled.

"Danny Dupe thinks we should talk alone, I….I think it's a good idea….you know…. being alone to say stuff."

Danny looked at her and knew she needed this. "Ok, Dupe can you leave us alone for an hour or two?"

"I'll circle around, sit outside when you're done ok?"

Danny nodded.

Alice felt acid pool in her stomach.

Dupe and Ed left leaving Danny and Alice alone, he stepped aside and she walked closed the door then walked across the room.

She meanwhile paced restlessly. "It's nice being back."

"It is." he agreed.

She was silent.

"I'm guessing that isn't what you want us to talk about."

She shook her head and exhaled. Stopped and looked at him. "I want to talk about us."

"Me too." he said quickly. "I want to give us another go. In London." he inhaled deeply. "This old place isn't the same without you. I want you on any terms, ANY. If that means being in London then I don't care. Home isn't here, home is you. I realised that five seconds after stepping on the land."

Alice felt tears well and her chest tightened. It felt like someone was packing rocks in there. "Please don't say stuff like that Danny." she whispered and looked away.

He frowned. "Alice?"

She rubbed her face. "Danny when….I….God I can't even say it" she put her hand over her mouth a moment and exhaled. "When you came here I…..Michael…."

"What?" he was twitching suddenly.

"Danny we….."

He paled suddenly. "You kissed him didn't you?"

"Michael was there Danny and I missed you and I had been drinking. I don't know what I was doing." she exhaled. "We…."

His stomach dropped as he realised what she was trying to say. "No." he shook his head. "No," was repeated conversationally, his hand in the air dismissing it. "I mean you wouldn't." he walked to his left and rubbed his face. "No!" came out with more force his face growing darker.

She could see the changes in his face, darkness, then pain, then more anger then even more pain. She could see how much this was hurting him.

"We were having so many problems Danny I…." she couldn't really say anything else.

He spun and looked at her. "What? So you….you…" he yelled, could feel his chest heaving.

"I'm sorry Danny."

"You're sorry?" he asked in disbelief. He clenched his fists. "How could you do this to us? After everything we have been through!" he turned his back on her. Rested his head against the wall. "No." he said almost a groan. She saw his fists tighten and he raised it so it was on par with his head.

"NO NO NO!" he pounded his fist off the wall. It shook with the intensity of the blows. He wanted to rage, to lash out, break something. He pushed the feeling inside.

Alice came up behind him and put her hand on his back. "Danny…."

He jerked himself away from her. "Don't touch me!" he covered his face, he didn't want to fall apart in front of her. He turned his devastation into anger. "I'm your husband Alice. YOUR HUSBAND! Did you just forget that?"

"Of course not."

"Did he make you feel good Alice. Did cheating on your husband feel good?"

"Danny don't do this."

"How could you let him touch you?" he raged.

"Danny it meant nothing!"

"Was he worth it Alice? Really worth it? You know you haven't answered my question, was he good or you gonna say you thought of me the whole time?" he looked away.

She saw him close his eyes for a second.

"Why the pretence Alice?" he began again. He took a step forward. "Why pretend to him that we were together if you were gonna sleep with him the minute my back was turned. Talk about stabbing me in the back. Bet you both had a good laugh about that!"

"I regretted it Danny, straight away."

"You regretted it, here's a novel idea, DON'T cheat on your husband! Let me guess you chatted about old times and thought oh I'll see if he's changed, is that it?"

"What can I say?" she asked. "It just happened."

He looked at her, he couldn't believe the clichés coming out of her mouth you might have thought she'd be original yet here she was. "I regret a lot of things now Alice. I regret the day I met you! I regret falling for you. I regret every time I said I love you!"

"Danny…." she breathed eyes full of tears, hating herself for what he was going through. She knew he felt things deeply so this would be hell. She had never seen him so hurt before. Not even when they split up.

"I thought I'd found someone special." he croaked. "I thought you were my soul mate. I loved Miranda and Sarah with all my heart but we had a connection deeper than that. I thought you were finally my happy ending."

"Danny we can work this out…."

"No we can't! I hate you!" he shouted. "I swear to God I hate you!" he covered his face with his hands. "Oh God I love you." he dropped his head and pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes trying to stem the flow of tears.

"Danny…." she whispered.

"Was it in our room?" he asked coldly.

"I'm not…."

"WAS IT!" he yelled anger clear in his tone.

She wouldn't reply.

"Yeah that's what I thought." Palms still shielding his eyes. "Leave me alone Alice."

"We need…."

"I said leave me alone! I may be stuck here with you for a little bit but as soon as I can I plan on putting as much distance between us as possible."

She exhaled sadly.

He sat on the floor his head in his hands.

Silence stretched. "How long has this been going on for?" he asked softly. Tone calm. His face obscured.

"It happened once, after it happened I came home to you."

He looked at her. She saw his eyes red rimmed. "When you realised you love me more than him." he sneered. "Lucky me!"

"No, it's when I realised how bad things were between us, that I was capable of hurting you like that."

He covered his face again. Hurt? She thinks she hurt him? She just about destroyed him, and she could never know. He shook his head. "C'mon now Alice be honest it was more than once wasn't it. You can tell me, don't worry I'm just the man you were cheating on!"

She shook her head.

"I always did love how stubborn you were." he told her sarcastically. "But c'mon Alice honesty is important in a marriage, we have to be able to trust each other!"

"Danny this cold sarcasm isn't you, so just stop it yeah, it was once!"

"Can you see why I might be having trouble believing you right now?" he asked softly.

"Believe it or not it was."

He swallowed his throat tight. He stared at the floor, Alice was leaning against a wall with her eyes closed.

Danny had no idea what to do, he brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head done them. He moved his head so he could look at her in profile. Her short sleek black hair. Her blue eyes haunted, her face full of guilt. He felt his heart skip. How could he still love her? I mean she spat on their marriage and split their family...it hit him then Robbie! What were they gonna do about his son?

"What about Robbie?" he asked.

She frowned. "What about him?" her jaw dropped. "Are you doubting whether or not you're his father?"

He hadn't but now he was suddenly scared. "Should I?"

"He is the image of you Danny, don't worry he is your son." No hesitation in her tone.

His relief was palatable. At least he still trusted her that much.

"What are we going to do about Robbie?" he asked.

She didn't understand what he was asking.

"I'm not going back to the UK."

She nodded.

"And it goes without saying that the divorce is back on!"

She couldn't stop her wince.

He saw it and felt his anger grow. "You did this to us!"

"Yeah? Well you helped!"

His eyebrows raised. "Really?" he stood up. "How did I do that Alice? Did I tell you o yeah, go sleep with your ex, go have some fun! Betray your husband, spit on your marriage vows!"

"No but…."

He took a step forward. "Then this had nothing to do with me!" he raged.

"Danny did you see how you treated me? You weren't my husband anymore, and no that doesn't condone anything but just think about how I felt! I was trying so hard to make us work in London and you didn't care!"

"I don't belong in London. I was only there for you!"

"And you made that known at every opportunity. You changed Danny, I lost you."

"I missed Leopards Den, yeah you have my heart but I left part of myself here. This is where I am meant to be Alice. The UK doesn't fit me anymore Alice and neither do you!"

"Saying nasty things won't change what I did and I doubt it'll make you feel better." she told him. "But go ahead carry on."

"You never care at all did you?" he seethed. "You saw a father for Charlie when you looked at me didn't you. Then as soon as her real dad it back I'm not good enough! Tell me was that the plan from the beginning? I should have known one minute we're arguing, I carry Charlie to the hut and the next you like me? Was I an easy mark?"

She took a step towards him. "That isn't true and you know it! I tried to leave a few times and you convinced me to stay!"

"Yeah well we all make mistakes."

"And even though you think I don't love you I do. I have loved you since we shook hands at the stairs. I admit the first time I felt something was when you carried Charlie up to the hut. Your stubborn side annoyed me, you were so gentle with her. I like that side of you." she finished quietly.

He was quiet, his heart shattering, she talked like that yet it changed nothing. "You say this what does it mean?"

She made a face.

"I'll tell you what! It means nothing!" a vision of Michael filled his head. Michael holding Alice. "You know why? Coz you still cheated on me. Don't even talk to me! I don't even want to look at you!" he was breathing heavily. "I knew we were in a bad place but was it really that bad?"

"I was a drunken mistake." she retorted.

"I've done stupid stuff when I was drunk. Said things I shouldn't." he reminded her of the bar when hhe was upset. "But I have NEVER slept with someone when my wife was away!" he shook his head. All the emotional turmoil was making him lose control. "I need space." he walked outside of the cabin and slammed the door. Looked up at the sky and fisted his hands in his hair. Something that hurt this much should kill you, at least that was merciful.

**A/N sorry bt this chappie was necessary** p**oor danny and alice :( x**

****hopefully i will have a chap of opp att up soon (that is fluff) dunno tho coz all my time was taken putting up a new vid on youtube earlier so i have nothing typed yet - I will try tho x ****


	17. Pain, and then more Pain

**A/N Alice just admitted to danny that she cheated, he was angry and upset and decided to wait outside for Dupe to come….**

(X)

Danny had never been more relieved when he saw Dupe's truck rumble to a stop.

"So Trevanion have you and Alice worked stuff out yet?" Dupe grinned wickedly. "Or need I ask?"

Danny stomped towards the truck. "No!" a short curt answer.

Dupe frowned. "Well get yourself out of this truck until you do!"

"I want to go home Dupe." Danny said coldly barely holding on to his temper.

"What about….."

"NOW!" Danny ordered.

"Alice is here." Dupe reminded.

"I don't care, I want to be out of here!"

This time Dupe's look was confused. "What on earth has happened, you two were supposed to be working stuff out and if anything it has made it worse!"

Danny looked at him, his expression unreadable, Dupe had never seen him look like this before. "What happened was I found out some stuff that should have been clear to me years ago! Now all I want is to go home, is that too much to ask?"

"Not without your wife." Dupe told him simply.

Danny heard the word wife and flinched. He looked at Dupe darkly. "Fine! You wait here for her, I'll walk! See you at home!" and with that Danny climbed from the truck and began to head towards the road.

Dupe immediately called Leopards Den on the radio. "Leopards Den!"

The radio crackled then, "It's Rosie, have you found dad yet Dupe?" her voice clearly anxious.

"He's fine, walking home by the old Jackson hut, come and get him will you? I have things to do."

"Sure thing Dupe." and the radio died. He then climbed from the truck and walked towards the house. Saw Alice sat on the floor head cradled in her hands. He exhaled and headed for her.

"It went that bad huh?" he asked kneeling down on his haunches.

"We're over Dupe." she murmured. "For good this time, there is no fixing this, even if I knew how, which I don't!"

"C'mon Alice don't be like this, you two have been through bad spots before, remember Mara we all thought you and Danny were over for good and then a few weeks later you and Danny were back together more in love than before, I'm being serious it was sickly to watch!" he stood up straight and smiled at her trying to lighten the mood.

Alice couldn't bring herself to smile back. She stood up and looked Dupe right in the eye. "I cheated on him Dupe." she told him, zero emotion in her tone.

Dupes eyes bugged.

Alice meanwhile was already walking from the hut towards the vehicle.

Dupe stood thinking for a moment then followed her. He sat beside her in the truck, her head was hung low. It occurred to him this wasn't the first time he'd given her advice while sitting in a truck. They had been here once before, him trying to convince her to tell Danny how she felt, how times changed! "Ok so you cheated." he said.

A laugh escaped her though it held no humour. "You said that in such a cavalier fashion, like it's nothing. It isn't nothing, I destroyed his trust in me!" she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"So he knows then?" Dupe winced.

She nodded. "Wasn't the most enjoyable experience in the world, watching his heart break like that. I feel lower than dirt right now. He hates me, understandably. To be honest I don't like myself much either. How could I do that? I'm not a cheater!" her voice full of self directed derision.

"And what about you?" Dupe asked cautiously.

She looked at him confused.

"Well what's next with you? Did you love the guy who you….you know."

"I love Danny, this was all just a big mistake. I hurt him so badly Dupe and it's killing me! I just want to wake up and realise this is just a bad dream!"

Dupe exhaled. He knew and understood this kind of guilt. It was deep, intense and encompassing. It permeated your every waking moment.

"I just want everything to be back to normal! Like before and now…" she was breathing heavily. "His face Dupe…" he voice cracked and broke. "I've never seen him look so devastated before. I love him so much and I did that to him!"

Dupe knew that Danny wasn't the only one hurting. Danny no doubt had spat some nasty stuff, he was more than capable of it. When hurt Danny was best left alone. At times like this if pushed he hit out, mainly at the cause of the pain. He remembered clearly what he was like when Simon was here to be married and Danny had accused Sarah of flaunting herself in front of Simon, just because she refused to have a child with him. It had taken Danny shooting himself in the leg with a dart before he saw sense. Hopefully it wouldn't take something this drastic this time! Dupe put his arm around Alice's shoulders impulsively and hugged her close. She remained stationary in the hold.

"Try not…."

"Don't tell me not to worry Dupe, nothing I do or say is going to fix this. And on top of that there is Charlie and Robbie, what are we going to do about visitation? There is so much to figure out!"

"You can't just give up Alice."

She looked at him. "What other choice do I have?"

"Fight!"

"That's all we do." she replied dryly and covered her face.

"If you love him fight for him, fight for your relationship!"

Alice looked at Dupe. "He'll never trust me again, every time he'll look at me he'll be reminded of what I done, maybe even wondering if I've done it again or considered it. Even if he could live like that I couldn't."

"So what?" Dupe asked heatedly. "What now for Alice Collins? What about everything you have here, everything you have created?"

She didn't correct the use of her maiden name. "Danny's family is here, I'm only his wife I have…."

"Don't you dare say you have no family here!" he warned. "What am I exactly? Caroline, Nomsa…."

"You are my friends but HIS family!"

"You know Alice I always had an inkling that you were a bit brainless, especially after falling for Danny but with that comment right there you just proved it!" he started the truck. It roared to life and he drove away.

(X)

Rosie found her dad walking along slowly, until a rock came close to his foot and he kicked it hard into the bush.

"Hey what that rock do to you?" she called playfully.

He didn't reply, didn't even turn, simply thrust his hands in his pockets and carried on walking, shoulders hunched head down.

She beeped the horn and he finally looked back.

"Want a lift?"

Not really, he was hoping to just keep walking until he ran out of road, or until he chased away the memory of Alice's words and he forgot everything he'd been told. Fat chance!

He had waited too long to reply. "Dad?" Rosie asked concerned. "Are you ok?"

He opened his mouth the reply he was fine, "No." came from him, he frowned.

She turned the engine off, climbed out and walked over to him. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head.

"It's Alice isn't it?" she asked softly.

His face twisted instinctively and he scowled.

"Yes then." she murmured. "Is she going back to London?"

"Yes!" he hissed. "And I'm beyond caring where she goes, where she lives, who she does it with and whether she jumps off a bridge!" he kicked another rock forcefully his voice raised at the end.

Rosie eyes widened. "It really can't be that bad can it?" two divorces in less than a year in the same family? she wondered.

Meanwhile Danny began to walk faster, she chased him and grabbed his arm to halt him. "Whatever it is dad you two have to work it out. Charlie and Robbie need you both together as a team. That is how it's always been between you two!"

He pulled his arm away. "Alice and I aren't a team, the only ting I share with Alice is this ring….." he pulled it off, he wanted to throw it into the bush but couldn't bring himself to, instead he shoved it in his pocket "…and two kids. One of whom I keep getting reminded isn't mine!" he felt the rage burning once again.

"Dad?" Rosie whispered, her voice low. She had never seen him like this before, not even when they lost her mother and Sarah.

Danny looked at his daughters face and could see the fear written clear across her features. "Just leave me alone Rosie, please." he whispered.

"Let me take you home then you can disappear into your surgery. I'll make sure no one bothers you." she promised.

Rosie was looking at him with a 'there's no budging me' look in her eyes. He nodded and she exhaled with relief. They headed for the truck.

"You know you get that stubbornness from your mother." he told her dryly.

She snorted. "Yeah right!"

(X)

Dupe drove slowly back to the house. The closer they got the quieter Alice became.

"It might be best if I leave Dupe." she finally said.

"You can't do that." he replied instantly.

"Why?"

"Coz then you and Danny will never work this out and you need to!"

"I doubt Danny will agree." she retorted dryly.

"Danny doesn't know what he needs. You know how impulsive he can be when he's hurt, he needs time to calm down and think."

"I know that if me and Danny are anywhere near each other we'll argue, Charlie and Robbie can't be seeing that!" she rubbed her face. "God this is all such a mess, what am I gonna do?"

"Well we're gonna go home and your gonna spend some time with the kids, that always help you unwind." he smiled. "Little Robbie has the look of Danny."

Alice finally had a reason to smile. "Stubborn like his dad too. He's a mini Danny."

Dupe looked at her. "Give it time Alice, you and Danny will be fine."

Alice shrugged knowing it was pointless to argue, she knew the truth, and it was breaking her heart.

**A/N sorry peeps but this chapter was necessary, next one isn't gonna be much better - sooner or later though will there be a turning point? and what will it be? stay tuned x**

**PS next chappie up (hopefully tonight) will be darkness falls - its kind of fluffy - kind of - you'll understand when you read it x**


	18. Division

**A/N RECAP - Alice had told Danny she cheated and he is heartbroken, they are both at Leopards Den**

**(X)**

As soon as Alice arrived at home she busied herself with the kids. As Robbie napped she sat at the kitchen table helping Charlotte with her maths. They answered the questions then checked the answers in the back of the book. They found them wrong again. Alice scowled. She could do intricate surgery on any animal you could mention but maths flummoxed her! Then again maths had always been her downfall, even at school!

"Mum this is the third time we've got them wrong! Can't Danny help me? He's good at maths!" Charlotte pleaded and Alice might have considered it if he was here because at the rate she was going her daughter was going to fail!

"He's not…."

A truck pulled to stop outside and Alice felt Danny's presence or more like felt the anger from here! She closed her eyes and exhaled.

"This will be him now, will he help me?"

"I can help you sweetie, we'll get them right this time I know it!"

"But I want Danny!" she protested.

Same as always, Alice thought. Danny's little girl.

Danny had meanwhile walked into the house and spotted Alice sat at the table with Charlotte, his eyes narrowed as they rested on his wife.

"Danny will you help me with my school work, me and mum keep getting them wrong." Charlie asked.

He sent Alice a message in his eyes, leave and I'll help. Alice sat up straighter and crossed her arms. Issuing a challenge. No words were exchanged.

Charlie looked at Danny. "Will you please?"

"Sorry Charlie, see Robbie…." Danny began.

Alice saw her daughters face fall and stood up. "I'll see to Robbie, help Charlotte!" she walked passed him. "You should know she is like me and her DAD he's no good at maths either!" her tone full of venom.

Danny's face hardened further and he took her arm as she passed. "Don't play that game Alice, your not the only one who can!"

She looked at him. "Michael is her dad, not you!"

"You wanna play it this way?" he released her. "Fine!" then approached Charlie. "So sweetie what's the problem?"

"I just can't do it Danny, any of it!" she made a face.

He sat beside her and peered at the paper. "I see your problem." he pointed. "See that decimal is in the wrong place."

He looked up and saw Alice watching. "Do I hear Robbie?"

She tutted and walked off. As soon as she was gone though…..

"Hey Charlie about living here at Leopards Den with me….

(X)

As soon as Alice walked into Robbie's room she heard Charlie scream excitedly. "Really Danny?" she heard.

Alice walked from the room as saw her daughter alternating between jumping up and down and hugging Danny. "Charlie?" she asked.

"Danny said he was moving back here and I could too!"

Alice paled. "But Charlie…."

"Since I don't have to do my homework I'm gonna go call my friends and tell them the good news." she hugged Danny again. "YAY!" and bounced off.

Alice stomped into the kitchen and leant across the table looking Danny in the face. "You are gonna tell her you changed your mind and she is coming home with me!"

He pretended to consider. "Um….no. See I am not going to change my mind and she is staying with me!"

"Yes you are, she belongs with me!"

"It might have escaped your notice Alice but this is her home, with me, her dad!"

"Mic…"

He stood up sharply. "Don't dare say his name!"

"What? Do you mean Michael?"

His eyes darkened.

"If you want me to change my mind about her staying here then you are going the wrong way about it Danny!" she told him.

"Tell you what Alice you want the kids with you then I'll see you in court, til then they stay here!"

"NO!"

"Try and take them and I'll follow you and bring them straight back."

"The kids aren't weapons!" she hissed.

"You're the one who keeps on throwing Charlie in my face!" his voice raised at the end.

"There is nothing to talk about Danny, both kids are coming back to the UK with me!"

"We'll see." he said superiorly and he walked from the house.

Alice felt a headache beginning to form in her temples.

Charlotte appeared obviously having heard some of the argument. Saw her mum rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Mum you ok?"

Alice nodded, knew she was pale after spotting her reflection in the window. "I'm great." she promised.

"You and Danny still arguing huh?"

"Don't worry about it." Alice told her.

"I'm gonna lose him aren't I?"

"Of course not!"

"If you and Danny split then I'll have to go back to London with you. He's not allowed to have me and once I'm there it'll be like I never existed. He'll have Robbie and his other kids here."

Alice put her arm around her child, she was growing quickly. "Danny will never forget you, he loves you."

"But London…."

Alice closed her eyes feeling her headache intensifying. "We'll see ok?"

"Can't you and Danny just work it out and be like we were before Robbie was born? All happy here, with Robbie of course. You loved each other then, you can again."

Alice looked at her daughters face and it broke her heart to dash her hopes, but she had to. She hated that this was tearing her family apart and there was nothing she could do about it. "No honey, we can't I'm sorry."

Charlottes face was troubled. "I'm going to my room ok?"

"Ok sweetie."

(X)

Danny sat in a darkened Fatani's bar trying to forget Alice existed. He noticed Fatani kept glancing at him. He had asked about Alice and Robbie when Danny got a drink. He'd gave a non committal reply about his wife and told him a little about his son. Robbie, his little smiler. The only thing he wanted to share with Alice now.

GOD! He was still thinking about her! The harder he tried to forget her, the harder it was to achieve it. The more he tried to force her memory from his mind, the more securely she stuck in his head. The bar was dark and he sat in a corner. The seat he and Alice used to sit was vacant, mocking him. He clenched his jaw, downed another bottle and went to buy another.

"Fatani!" he asked at the bar.

He cracked open a bottle and handed it to him. "You might want to put your wedding ring back on, someone is giving you the eye. Suppose you took it off for surgery huh?"

He grunted a reply and put it on jerkily.

Fatani smiled oblivious to his anger. "Back where it belongs huh?"

Danny tossed down some money and picked up his bottle, returned to his corner to brood. A new song had started that made him think of Alice more.

"_Your so scared to fall in love, coz you end in the dust every time every time. Now you see us all the same, like our words are just a game, spinning lies dirty lies."_

That was how she had been when they met, and gradually he had helped her, changed her mind and convinced her that all men weren't bad.

_The worlds a better place in your eyes lovely eyes._

God couldn't Fatani change the music before he did something stupid, like start kicking a speaker!

_I know you know there's something here but you cant get past the fear I can help you make it clear. When you feel like trying again, reach out take my hand see how great it could be. To fall in love with someone you trust, who'd never give up coz your all that he needs. Baby take a chance on me._

He clenched his jaw and blocked the music out. Sank lower in his seat. He was sick of this! Why did this have to happen with HIM of all people. Ok it would have been bad with a stranger but at least with a stranger he wouldn't be haunted by images of them! Laughing at him! Ok he had asked for a divorce but it would never have came to that, he had genuinely believe they would have worked it out long before speaking to solicitors. Him and Alice splitting hadn't seemed like a possibility, or it hadn't until she betrayed him, smashed his heart into fragments.

This was it! He was steering clear of relationships from now on. Clearly he wasn't cut out for love, it never lasted. Miranda and Sarah taken away long before they should have been and now Alice was going too. At least Charlie and Robbie still had their mother. He squeezed the bridge of his nose, they had been so good together, as a team unbeatable. He'd been able to move mountains if she said he could. Now he had zero interest in anyone else, he didn't want a wife. He was single from now on!

The woman Fatani mentioned made eye contact with her, she came him a 'can I come over?' smile.

He shrugged. She weaved her way through tables towards him. "Hi."

He looked at her and smiled, it didn't reach his eyes, barely reached his lips! "Hello."

She sat down opposite him. "I was just sat over there and noticed you were alone, wondered if you wanted company."

Danny shrugged again.

"So, do you have a significant other anywhere?"

Danny hesitated and the woman began to smile.

"So Mr…."

"Danny."

"Danny." and sidled closer to him. "I'm Angela."

Danny could see Alice in his head. Maybe she deserved this, but using this woman to get revenge was wrong, and so was lying to her. He raised his left hand. The ring glistened. As he looked at it he thought of the inscription on Alice's engagement ring.

'All my love forever Danny' His wife's infidelity came to him in a rush at the thought. He took the ring off again, dropped it to the table not caring what happened to it. The ring hit the table, rolled then hit the floor.

Fatani watched this and picked up the phone.

"Troubles?" the woman asked Danny.

He was silent, she got the message, he wasn't talking.

"Are you available tonight Danny?"

Danny looked at Angela and tried to find it within himself to agree. If only to give Alice a taste of her own medicine. He couldn't though. No matter what he was still a married man and as much as it killed him to admit it, the only woman he wanted was Alice….even if he couldn't stand her right now.

"Sorry no, my wife…." he exhaled, bent down and picked his ring up. He didn't put it back on but looked at it all the same. "She's still my wife and I can't betray her."

The woman nodded and patted his arm. "You're a good guy, she's lucky to have you. Some people would jump at the change."

"Yeah I'm a good guy." he whispered. "So good look at what it got me!" his wife sleeping with her ex. If he ever saw Michael he'd smash his face in. He couldn't, wouldn't ever harm Alice, but Michael, he'd kill him! He hoped he didn't show up because at the moment he didn't think he had it in him to restrain himself.

As Danny sat hating his life he didn't see the man pop his head in Fatani's and watch him a little while.

(X)

An hour and many drinks later Danny arrived at home in a taxi. Alice was sat on the veranda. He saw her and felt the ever simmering anger build. "Awww Alice waiting up for me?" his voice cold as he walked up the steps.

"No." the headache she acquired earlier had been growing all night.

"Someone else then?" he scowled. "Sorry Alice he isn't here!"

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm not in the mood to argue with you." she stood up and moved to enter the house, when she passed him woman's perfume assualted her senses. She turned her head and froze when she realised it came from Danny. Jealousy hit her hard, hot and fast.

"Whets the matter Alice?" he asked voice full of condescension. "Oh can you smell Angela's perfume? I was lonely so I thought what the hell. It's marriage vows don't matter week!"

Her eyes went black instinctively.

"Now let's see if I can remember what you said." he thought for a second. "Oh yes he it comes. I'm sorry!" he told her in a whiny voice. "It meant nothing, I regretted it after!"

She narrowed her eyes and her fists clenched.

"And if you want I can introduce you, it's only fair since I know yours!"

Alice stomped off in the house unable to hear anymore. She went into the spare room and flung herself on the bed and began to hit the pillow over and over, she thrust her face into it breathing heavily. Tears started to fall swiftly.

(X)

Dupe had heard the exchange as he was walking down the hallway and was enraged, he left the house saw Danny and pushed him hard. "You bastard Trevanion, I heard what you just said and it was out of order!"

"Don't push me Dupe!" Danny warned.

"There was no…."

"A husband and wife have no secrets, why don't you try it!" he shouted.

Dupe knew Danny was baiting him and didn't take it. "You didn't sleep with her. I know you turned her down!"

Danny frowned.

"Fatani called me when he saw you take your ring off, I got there and she was leaving you alone!"

Danny looked away distastefully. "I should have done it!"

Dupe's fists clenched. "What?"

"Yeah! Like you did, only difference is I wouldn't have a kid with her!"

Dupe's eyes narrowed. "Why on earth would you put Alice through what you are going through?"

"Coz it hurts Dupe!" he bellowed. "Nothing stops it hurting and I don't know what to do!"

"That was heartless Danny, she loves you man! Does it make you feel any better knowing that she now thinks you cheated. Now you know she feels like you!"

It didn't make him feel any better, actually it made him feel guilty that she felt like he did right now. He leant against a wall "What do I do Dupe?" he murmured.

"Don't hurt her intentionally again, change the road your on, grow up! You're a father, do you really want it to end up where you and Alice can't stand the sight of each other? Only the kids will suffer!"

Danny lowered his head and exhaled. How much more messy could one persons get in less than twenty four hours. Dupe walked off and knocked on the door that Alice was staying in. Danny passed as he opened the door and heard her crying. He froze. Oh God, he had never heard her cry like that before. She was literally sobbing! He moved Dupe out of the way and went to the bed. His face ashen. "Alice I'm…."

She sat up, eyes red rimmed and watery, as she looked at him more tears fell silently. "Go away Danny!"

"Alice I…"

"I said GO!" she yelled.

Rosie appeared at the door followed by Charlotte.

"Mum?" Charlotte asked.

"Alice…" Danny began reaching for her.

She pushed him forcefully away from her.

"MUM?" Charlotte repeated worriedly.

"Rosie!" Dupe asked and motioned to Charlie.

Rosie nodded put her arm around Charlie ad led her to he room.

"What's wrong with my mum?" she craned her head.

"She and dad need to talk."

Danny meanwhile had Alice's hand. "Listen to me Alice."

"NO! You have nothing to say that I want to hear. Just leave me alone!"

"Leave her alone Danny!" Dupe told him, seeing Danny was only upsetting her more.

"Alice…." she was crying again, trying to move away from Danny.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE LEAVE HER ALONE!" Dupe shouted enraged.

When Danny ignored him again Dupe started to go towards him, grabbed his arm. Danny was on his feet in seconds. "Let me go Dupe!" he warned.

"Get out of this room NOW!" Dupe to him stonily.

Alice had her face covered and didn't notice Danny and Dupe scaring up in her room. Everything was quickly getting out of control.

Rosie appeared. "Dad, Charlie…..DAD!" she squeaked when she saw her dad and Dupe two seconds from getting stuck into each other. "Jesus! C'mon dad!" she grabbed his arm and pulled him away. "Charlie needs you!" as Rosie pulled him away he looked at Dupe darkly. Dupe meanwhile was closing the door as soon as Danny had left. He went to Alice and hugged her tightly.

"Everything is going wrong!" she said between tears. "I don't know what to do anymore."

He held her tight. "It'll be sorted in the morning." he promised.

"You don't…"

"Oh I do!" he growled.

**A/N this was a bad chapter, even for me Poor Alice, gotta feel sorry for Danny and Dupe too :( determined words from dupe tho! the whole house is starting to get divided because of this! x**


	19. I Don't Want To Hurt Her Anymore

Danny assured Charlie that her mother was ok then headed to the kitchen when she had been suitably soothed. Rosie walked up to him. "Ok what is up between you Dupe and Alice?" she asked. "And don't say nothing, do you realise how close you and Dupe came to trading blows?"

"Leave it Rosie!" Danny asked.

"But…"

"Leave it!" he yelled.

She took a step back. She was hurt and he knew it from her face. He went to her and hugged her. "I'm sorry Rosie, just don't worry ok?"

"How can I not dad? You and Dupe almost fighting. You and Alice are breaking up. Everything is going to hell and nothing we do is stopping it! If anything it is getting worse!"

"Go to bed, it'll be better in the morning." he promised.

"No it won't you and Dupe will be sober and not speaking. You and Alice will avoid each other until suddenly you start screaming again and all the rest of us will be caught in the middle not even knowing what is going on!"

He rubbed his face.

"You can't ignore this dad, a good nights sleep won't erase everything that happened tonight. I saw Alice's face. I saw your and Dupe's anger."

He had too, and the guilt about Alice was killing him.

"What did you do to make her react like that? For Dupe to lose it like that?" Rosie asked frowning.

"Rosie I'm still feeling the alcohol, can I just sort all this out tomorrow my way?"

She exhaled. "I know how much you and Alice love each other. I couldn't stop what happened to mum or Sarah but Alice is here. I can't watch you fall apart again by losing someone else you love."

He hugged her again tightly. "Whatever happens, all of us will be fine, me, Alice, you and the kids ok." he promised rubbing her back like he'd done when she was a child. "Now go to bed, don't make me do my dad voice!" he warned with a smile.

"Ok dad." Rosie pulled from his hold and headed for her room. She looked back as she opened the door. "Don't let what happened to me and Max happen to you dad, you'll regret it." then she walked in quickly and closed the door.

There was no avoiding that now Danny knew, all he could hope was that he and Alice were able to speak to each other, for the kids sake at least! He was about to head for the shower when Dupe walked from Alice's room. Danny was about to ask how she was when he stopped himself. Dupe looked pissed, he walked right up to Danny and they stood face to face.

"I want you out of here tonight!" Dupe hissed.

"What?"

"You heard, get away from this family. You're damaging it. You stay and it'll break beyond repair, I won't let that happen, I want you gone!"

"You can't throw me out!" Dupe retorted.

"I think I can, and don't think just because your taller than me that I won't do it Trevanion!" his voice colder than Danny had ever heard it before.

"Actually no you can't, you'll find it's mine and Ed's name on the deeds, not yours."

"If you care about this family at all, love your kids and their mother in the slightest then you will leave until all the emotions that are causing this dies down. This family is imploding Danny and you are making it worse! I really don't think you realise how much you hurt her, see she knows you don't have it in you to cheat, even if she did it first which also means she knows you hit out specifically to hurt her. Alice had always been strong Danny, I know its one of the things you loved about her, well you are breaking her! I won't watch that, SO GO!" with that final statement he left Danny alone in the hallway and entered his and Caroline's bedroom. He heard her talking to him trying to find out what was going on.

Danny covered his face. Dupe was right. This was affecting everyone he loved most. Rosie spent most of her time worried about him, now because of what he said he had added Alice Dupe and Charlie to her load. Charlie had almost been hysterical in her room worried about her mum, she wouldn't let him leave until he promised to fix it. Clinging to him desperately. Then him and his best friend almost fought, in all of the years together, ups and downs, crisis's it had NEVER came to that. The family was being torn right down the middle. Like he'd told Alice way back in the beginning family got him through the bad times…..well it was her turn for family to get HER through this.

So there it was, he walked into his room, he knew intrinsically that this was the right thing. It might be best if he left tonight, then the kids wouldn't have to see him leave. It would only be for a couple of days, give everybody the time and space they needed, him included. He pulled the case from the top of the wardrobe and began placing items of clothing inside. Dropped in his wallet and phone charger. He then visited the people he loved.

First Charlie, no matter what anyone said she was and always would be his little girl, his youngest daughter. He kissed her gently, making sure he didn't disturb her slumber promising to see her soon. He left as soon as he arrived, backing from her room and closing the door soundlessly. Then he arrived at his oldest child's room. He knocked on her door then entered, saw her sat on her bed staring at her phone, a sad look on her face. It was longing, pure and simple. "Dad?"

"Can I talk to you a minute?"

She pressed a button on her phone then patted the bed.

He sat down. "Rosie can you help Alice with Robbie for a few days?"

She frowned. "Why?"

"I'm gonna get away for a few days while emotions are running high. There are things between me and Alice that people don't know about which are making tensions worse. This is affecting all of us and we could all use some space. It won't be more than three days max."

"Where are you going?"

"I've been thinking that I might go visit Evan in Edinburgh. I didn't see him much while I lived at London, he's off Uni at the minute and Liv is down there too, thankfully. " God knows what she would have made of all this, especially him and Dupe almost coming to blows, knowing Liv she would crack their heads together!

Rosie nodded sadly. "You are coming back?"

"Of course, it's just seeing Alice in that state is tearing me apart, and then Charlie too!" he exhaled.

Rosie hugged him. "Take care of yourself yeah?"

"Always, I'll keep in touch. Tell you how your brother is."

"Tell him to get himself here and visit me, its been too long since we were all here!"

Danny nodded then left the room.

Visited the youngest Trevanion, to make sure he didn't disturb Alice he turned the baby monitor off. Then headed for the cot. This was the cot he had painted for Alice's return, as a surprise. He touched the boys head gently. "Love you son." kissed him. Robbie slept on oblivious to the trauma around him. "Sleep tight and daddy will see you soon." he then returned to the baby monitor and flicked the switch so it was back on. Gave the baby Alice gave him one last look then left. found himself face to face with Alice's bedroom door. This was the same bedroom she had occupied all those years ago when she moved in after the hut she stayed in was invaded by fleas. All these years had passed and it felt like a blink of an eye. Falling for her, getting together, proposing, being married, the birth of their child and now…. He exhaled, closed his eyes, put his hand on the handle and turned it slowly.

When the door was open a crack he popped his head inside, the first thing he felt was the breeze. He should have known she'd have a window open, she always got too hot in the night. His gaze was then drawn to the bed, to the woman sleeping there. Alice was lain on her side, hugging a pillow close to her head. Tears glistened on her cheek. He could remember a time, from when before they were together he would have been able to give her comfort when she cried. Now HE was the cause of her tears, and no amount of words or hugs from him would give her comfort. He pulled the door closed once again remembering how isolated and alone she'd been when she first arrived here. She had support now, a close family unit who loved her and would prop her up when she needed them... and she did need them.

With that final thought he went to his room and collected his case. He hated leaving the kids, leaving things with Dupe the way they were but the poison he felt about the infidelity still festered and once his guilt over hurting Alice like that faded the venom would return and she would once again bear the brunt of his rage. He didn't want that, he didn't want to hurt her anymore.

**A/N this wasn't the way this was supposed to go, Danny was supposed to stay and apologise to Alice ect but then i had an inspiration and thought ooooo so now Danny is going away for a few days AND next chapter we see someone who we haven't seen or heard from in a while! EEEK! Keep reading, this gets interesting! x **


	20. 3 Weeks 5 Days

Alice heard her little boy singing over the baby monitor the next morning, he cooed and chatted to himself in a language only he could understand. Her head was aching, her eyes were burning from lack of sleep and too many tears last night. Last night came back to her, she had been sobbing harder than she ever had over anyone, Danny trying to talk to her and she ignored him, trying to pull away. Dupe had tried to tell her after Danny left that he hadn't cheated, that he was angry and he loved her. In a way if he hadn't cheated it was worse! If he had cheated, even if it was revenge and told her then there was nothing she could say or do, after all she cheated first. She wasn't for that tit for tat stuff but c'mon. BUT if he hadn't cheated and told her he had to hurt her then that was below the belt. She hurt him yeah but hitting out like that specifically to spite her coz he couldn't cheat was out of line. That she couldn't stand. She heard Robbie starting to get annoyed that his lovely singing wasn't getting the response he wanted and he started to grunt, just like his dad did when annoyed she noted. She rose from her bed and walked straight into his room. She saw his face scrunched up, gearing for a wail. She walked over and scooped him up. "Hello my sweet boy, did you sleep well?" kissed his cheek.

He laughed when he saw her. Then looked beyond her. "Da!" he told her.

"Does Robbie want daddy?"

"Da!" he repeated. "Daaaaaaaaa!" he sang.

"Good boy, lovely singing." and she bounced him. "How about mummy will sort you out a bottle, change you then we'll see daddy huh?"

He grinned at her wide and open and she melted. She saw his two bottom teeth had finally broke the gum, he looked so adorable. She kissed his small head and held him close, Danny's threat about taking them away hanging over her. She shook her head and headed for the kitchen, began mixing him a bottle then cooled it.

"Mummy loves her Robbie forever and ever and ever!" and blew raspberries on his cheek. He grabbed her nose and pulled it.

She wrinkled it ad laughed. "That's attached Robs." she put his little hand on his nose. "There's yours, you'll find you have daddies nose, not mammys!" he frowned then was shocked when he felt it move. He began to explore with his fingers.

"I've started something now." found his bottle was now cooled and moved to the kitchen table. As soon as he saw his bottle was ready his preoccupation with his nose forgotten he began to eat. As she held the bottle his little hands wrapped around it, little by little she relaxed her hold til he was holding aloft on his own.

She smoothed a hand over his head once again, marvelling that he was hers. She loved this little boy so much, for all the uncertainty she had felt while pregnant as soon as she felt him move inside her, gave birth to him she had felt nothing but single minded motherly devotion. Nothing mattered anymore, not the timing of falling pregnant, or the fact that she and Danny hadn't been married very long. All that mattered was the life that she and Danny had created. Every time she looked at his eyes, the image of his fathers she felt that feeling once again. Nothing mattered but him and his big sister.

Speaking of Charlie, this was going to hit her hard. She loved Danny, he was the only dad she could remember so having to live apart from him when they returned to London was going to kill her. She and Danny were so similar, they could have been related. She wished, or had in the past that Danny was her biological father. She'd never change her little girl but Michael, he didn't care about being a dad. He didn't like to lose, losing his kid to Danny - he'd hate that! Danny worried about losing his daughter, Michael worried about losing face! The child in question walked into the kitchen just as Robbie finished his bottle.

"Good boy, someone is gonna grow up to be big and strong!" and she smiled at her son. "Hello baby girl." she put Robbie in his high chair and walked to the toaster, put some inside.

Charlotte went to her and hugged her tight from behind.

Alice turned and wrapped her arms around her child. "Are you ok sweetie?"

"Are you mum?" she replied.

"Of course I am."

Charlotte looked up at her. "I saw you crying last night."

Oh! "Everything just got on top of me, I had no sleep on the flight over. You know what I'm like when I'm tired."

"But mum that was….I've never seen you cry like that before. Not even when you and Danny split!"

Alice pressed a kiss to her daughters dark hair. "That's all it was!" she assured, "Tiredness."

"Was it Danny?" Charlotte asked frowning. "Did he make you cry like that?"

Uh oh! "No sweetie, just stuff."

"But I saw him trying to talk to you and you wouldn't let him. He did something didn't he?"

Oh God she didn't want her daughter turning against the only dad she'd ever known! Look Charlie…."

"I can't believe he'd do that to you." she gasped. "I thought he loved us!"

"He does sweetie!"

"He made you cry mum! Just wait til I see him! No one makes you cry, not even him!"

"Couple argue Charlotte, this is between me and him. Don't mention it." Alice told her sternly.

Charlotte started at her mothers face then relented. "Just tell him not to talk to me then!" her voice cold.

Alice returned to making her daughters breakfast, this was bound to go down well. Charlie wasn't speaking to Danny. Wonder how long it took for him to blame her for that! When Charlie was eating breakfast Robbie started banging on his highchair. "DA!" his little voice raised.

"Charlie Robbie wants your dad so…."

"HIS dad." she corrected.

"YOUR dad!" Alice told her sternly. "So I'm taking him down."

Charlie muttered under her breath but didn't argue anymore which Alice was grateful for.

"Make sure you…."

"Yeah I know, he's not to speak to you at all." Alice breathed walking down the hallway. She took her mind off the fact that her daughter hated her dad pondering where Danny was. The reason he wasn't up yet was because he was hung-over. She knocked on the door. "Danny!"

No reply. She knocked again. "Danny!"

"DA!" Robbie called an tried to imitate his mum by knocking on the door.

"Danny Robbie wants you." when all was still silent once again she opened the door, found the bed neatly made. She frowned. First of all in all the years she had known him Danny had never made the bed, ever! Secondly she hadn't heard any movement when she got up so he must have been up long before she woke….that was if he slept in there at all….what if he had actually went to Angie? She cut the thought off. He had probably stayed at Mara or something. She closed the door and saw Rosie stood in the doorway of her bedroom. She looked at Charlie in the kitchen and walked closer to Alice. "He's gone Alice, asked me to help with Robbie."

"What do you mean gone?"

"He said that he was going to see Evan in Edinburgh. He wasn't really specific. Just that he had to get away from everything until it settled down, whatever that means!"

Alice covered her eyes. "I should have left this is his home."

"I think dad did need to go Alice, he wasn't happy here and he and Dupe almost fighting was the final straw. He'll be back in a few days."

Alice nodded.

"What's up with you two?" Rosie asked, no one was telling her anything!

"I'd better go down to the surgery, since your dad is gone I'm in charge I guess. Take Robbie will you." Alice made her escape as soon as Robbie was in his big sisters arms.

(X)

Rosie walked around the baby department in Jo'burgs city centre department store. She was looking for a present for her godchild's third birthday. She also planned on spoiling her little brother, big sisters prerogative! She had already bought him the cutest little shirt and jeans and was looking for some shoes to complete the outfit. Her dad would go mad if he found out how much the jeans cost, but come on, he was gonna look so gorgeous in them! Robbie was in her arms holding a doll trying to work it out. He looked so much like their dad staring at it, concentrating hard.

"So Robbie likes dollies?" she sang. "Dad won't get you one mind," she chuckled. She walked on and saw a princess dress up set. She could get that and little odds and ends, hair clips and stuff. God she hated shopping for others. It was ok when she was shopping for herself but when it came to Christmas she always ended up demented. When she'd been married she'd gave Max a list and he went out. She and he hadn't seen each other in eighteen months. She found herself frowning.

The bad thing about divorce was that it was so final. They had meant so much to each other at one time. Her best friend and now a year and a half had elapsed and they hadn't said a word. Neither even trying to get in contact. He didn't even know about Robbie, he having moved out of their flat a week before her dad rang. That final fight when she again told him that she wasn't ready to have another child. The final fight which ended her marriage. After he moved when they spoke they said the bare minimum knowing that any unnecessary conversation would only descend into arguments like so often in the past. They would start pointing fingers, blaming each other for the eventual demise of what was once a strong marriage. After that the accusations would start, she had met someone new that was why she didn't want to be near him anymore. He was flirting with his new bar maid that was why he stayed out later and later each night. She hadn't met anyone new, she loved her husband, it was just she was working long days at Uni and then going to a part time job to keep their heads above water she'd come home and fall into bed, excuse her for being tired. Then he'd stroll in at midnight, one o'clock stinking of booze, smoke and cheap stale perfume. Talk about a turn off! Then he'd talk about trying for a child. They were barely managing as it was, and he wanted to bring a child into that!

Anyway that was all over now. The person she had planned to spend her life with was just gone. She didn't know him anymore. The years they'd spend together had been the best of her life, the happiest of he life. She had moved on now, she had to. They still shared a god child, which she had to buy a present for! She decided on the dress up set wondering what else to get. She leant down picked the box up then turned, as she did she bumped into someone.

"Sorry I'm…" a man was knelt down picking up boxes. He stood up and her jaw dropped. "Max?" she squeaked.

He straightened up. "Rosie." he looked at the child she held and she saw him doing the sums in his head.

"Don't worry Max he isn't yours. He isn't even mine. This is my little brother."

"Oh so Alice and your dad huh? Wow." he took the baby's hand and shook it gently.

She nodded watching his make faces at the child. Robbie grinned at him wide and toothless.

"He doesn't half look like your dad does he?" Max mused.

"He does." she agreed.

"I didn't know Alice and your dad were planning kids, I thought they were a little well you know, old." he made a face.

"He was a surprise." she smiled at the baby. "The best kind."

"Oh like…." he quieted.

She cleared her throat. "So you here to get Gloria a present?"

He nodded. "For her party later."

"I know, Robbie is invited, will you be there?"

"I'll find an hour to spend with my favourite girl."

Gloria had him wrapped around her little finger. It was how it would have been if they had a daughter. This was good she mused, they were talking, ok it was abit stilted and awkward but that was gradually disappearing.

"Max did you get it?" a woman's voice floated across the air to them.

"Yeah." the lady appeared and grasped his hand tightly. "Whose she?" she gestured to Rosie."

Rosie meanwhile recognised her immediately. "So the barmaid?" anger rising. Jealousy clenching around her heart.

"Rosie…"

"I knew it!" she turned and headed for the checkout with her purchase, trying to force the jealousy out of her body. How dare he? Had this began when they were still married ? Here she'd been trying to work through the pain of the end of her marriage and he'd been messing around with HER, HER of all people! I mean he couldn't have found a worse way of pissing her off could he? She paid for her item and went straight to her car. She had to say she was surprised he hadn't followed her to try to explain, not that she wanted him to of course! Then again he didn't have to. Their marriage, well their divorce had been finalised three weeks five days ago. She placed Robbie in the car.

"Sorry I'm not the best company now." touched his cheek then strapped him in. "That man there was your ex brother in law."

Robbie sort of frowned.

She laughed. "Thanks for the support little bro." then climbed in. A minute later she heard tapping on her window. Max stood there.

"Roll down the window." he asked.

She glared at him.

"C'mon Rosie!"

She made the mistake of looking into his deep blue eyes, without realising it she was rolling down the window.

"Look Rosie about Marissa…"

The anger returned. "Max you don't have to explain yourself to me. We're divorced now, you can sleep with who you want…" even slutty barmaids!

"Rosie it's only been three weeks, I wouldn't just…."

"Three weeks is that all?" she asked. "I thought it had been longer, how time flies."

She saw his eyes narrow slightly.

"Is this all Max? I have a busy schedule. People to see, animals to save. I don't hand out alcohol for a living."

That was a low blow, he stepped back from the car. She rolled the window up and started the car. Proceeded to drive away.

**A/N sooooooooo, does this end here? with me? definately not! Lots more maxy-ness and rosie-ness to come. make up on the cards? well not when marissa is around...keep readin more on this MUCH MUCH more! AND Danny is still gone will absence make the heart grow fonder? Or forgetful? hmmmm x**


	21. Exposure

**A/N RECAP - Danny has left leopards den after dupe basically told him to get lost and stop destroying the family, meanwhile Rosie who has been helping Alice with Robbie ran into max while shopping and was annoyed by him.**

(X)

Rosie sat at home, Max had been on her mind. He had been on her mind as she drove home, as she wrapped her God child's present and as she signed the card. This card was only from her, unlike in previous years when they'd signed things together. Rosie and Max, a duo and now…..she clenched her teeth together annoyed. How dare he just show up out of the blue and invade her thoughts again! They were OVER! Finished! Kaput! So why couldn't she stop thinking about him? And she coundn't forget the hurt look in his eyes as she had insulted him, she rubbed her eyes, that had been out of order. But then again so was he for dating HER so soon after they broke up. Marissa! Eugh! God Max is three weeks all it takes you to get over us and everything we had. And here Rosie thought he loved her. She licked the gum for her card and grimaced. Max used to do that, he didn't mind the taste. She sealed it up trying to force Max from her mind for the tenth or eleventh time in an hour. You know what, she'd change Robbie, that would stop her from thinking about Max. she was about to go an collect him and change him into his gorgeous jeans and shirt when her phone rang. It was her dad, she connected.

"Hi dad."

"Hello Rosie, how's things at home?" his voice eager.

Well her ex husband was stressing her out, Alice was way out of her depth with stuff in the surgery and Charlie didn't even want to hear her dads name..…. "We're all good, I'm taking Robbie to his first birthday party this afternoon, lots of girls there too." she laughed. Old habits were hard to break, she didn't want her dad coming home earlier then he felt he needed to.

"Oh is Robbie getting an early start on the girls?" her dad chuckled. "How is Charlie?"

Now this was a sticky area. Charlie was seriously angry are their dad for how Alice had been…. "She's good dad, we all are."

"Rosie I know she isn't happy with me. Dupe left a rather jovial message on my phone telling me as much." well Dupe was actually gloating the old toad! He'd been right though, this space was doing him the world of good, it was returning that was worrying him.

"Oh dad, she'll come around."

Danny wasn't so sure. "Maybe." his voice low and full of emotion. "Alice?"

"She's working the surgery…." working too hard! "I'm enjoying the time with Robbie though, shame he has to go back to the UK."

"Yeah." he breathed.

"Are you going back dad? With Alice?"

He exhaled. "I dunno Rosie, Charlie and Robbie need me."

She did too! Just coz she was in her twenties didn't mean she needed her dad any less than the little ones did! "Anyway dad I have to go, I'm just getting Robbie ready, tell Evan and Liv I love them. Ask him when he's gonna get himself over here and visit his big sis, I miss him! Surprisingly!"

She heard her dad talking then a deep voice. Her dad laughed. "Evan said your getting soft in your old age."

"Tell him when I see him I'm gonna kill him!"

"Yeah Rosie I love you too." Evan told her over the phone.

"Brat!" she hissed playfully.

Her dad came back on the phone. "I'm just going now dad. See you soon, love you."

"Love you too, kiss the kids for me and tell Charlie I miss her."

"Do you want me to pass on a message to Alice?" she asked hesitantly.

There was silence on the other end.

"Dad?"

"No it's ok." he said choked.

"Ok, see you dad."

They disconnected. Rosie looked at her phone sadly wondering what had went wrong with her dad and Alice. While she did that Alice walked into the house carrying Robbie. Rosie restrained a wince when she saw her step mother, she looked terrible! Really tired!

"Alice since I'm taking Robbie and Charlie is at her friends why don't you catch forty winks." or four hundred?

"Can't I just brought Robbie up to the house to hand him over. We have three emergency's calls. Ed is off to one and I'm trying to figure out how to be at the other two at the same time." Alice rubbed her head after Rosie took Robbie. "I think I'll be working on one while on the phone barking out orders to the other."

"Alice if we can find Caroline I can….."

"No no it's ok, go to your party it'll be fine." Alice assured with a smile knowing Rosie was about to volunteer to take the other. She kissed Robbie's head. Then looked at him. "No kissing all the girls lil man, one at a time." rubbed his head smiling at him lovingly.

Rosie looked at Alice and saw the pure love on her face. She had a faint memory of her mother looking at her like that and she knew that she would have looked at her baby like that too.

Alice broke the musings. "Anyway I have to go. Thanks Rosie." she grabbed her keys and left.

"C'mon Robbie lets go grab your clothes and make you even more handsome than you already are!"

(X)

Alice had the radio to her mouth as she drove, the scenery flying passed quickly. She was speeding and she knew it but this lion was in a bad way! "I'm on my way now. There is only one of me and there was another emergency. I'll be five minutes." tossed the radio on the seat. She couldn't believe some people kicking off just because she had other things to do! If they took better care of their animals and NOT knocked them down with a truck then she wouldn't be needed would she! Her internal rant finished when she pulled her truck into a clearing and saw people milling around.

"Ok, I'm here where is he?" she saw an adolescent make lion on the floor with respiratory distress, she ran over. "What do I have? I've been told the foreman thinks he hit the animal with a car…" how he was unsure she didn't know, I mean you know when you hit an animal but there it is! She placed her box down and opened it.

"Yes!" The owner said quickly, he was fidgeting. "It was a truck."

Alice glanced at him frowning. "How?" her focus back on the animal.

"Came from no where." the owner said nodding.

"But boss a…."

"Ssshhh!" he warned. "Let the woman work!"

"I'm gonna anesthetise him, do you have anywhere I can work?" Alice asked.

"No."

"I'll have to be here then." she checked the head. No sign of injury, nothing on the legs either. Physically there wasn't a mark on him. She probed the stomach and noticed it was distended. She frowned when she realised it was large. Twisted bowel possibly? The animal suddenly stopped breathing.

She pulled materials from her box. "Look I'm gonna intubate him, you are going to have to breath into the tube for me."

The mans eyes widened." NO!"

"Look he is going to die I can't help and breathe for him!" and she pushed the tube down the animals throat.

"Do it!" the boss ordered.

The foreman acquiesced reluctantly, shooting his boss daggers the whole time.

Alice meanwhile pulled her scalpel out and cut the animals stomach open. She did all she could but the animal was beyond saving. "I'm sorry, nothing I could do." she said standing up pulling her gloves off. "Sometimes there is nothing that can be done. I'd like to take him back to my practice for an autopsy."

"Why?" the boss said shiftily.

"Just standard stuff." she assured. "Nothing to worry about." the radio cracked. Someone else calling in an emergency, she was in demand! "I'll send one of my people called Du Plessis over for the carcass."

"Ok, thanks for coming. Goodbye."

Alice climbed in her truck and left.

"Take the carcass into the bush and burn it!" the boss ordered.

"But she said…."

"I don't care what she said! I want rid of it now!"

"I'm not going near that thing! It's been opened up I could…."

The boss handed him gloves and a face mask. "Use these, just get rid!"

**A/N UH OH! What has Alice been exposed to? And is it harmful to humans? Will danny come back soon? And will Rosie see max at the party? Lots of questions and answers will be coming soon, very soon!  
>PS Thanks to everyone who wished my lil man a happy birthday, we all had a fab day and party...still bloody shattered tho lol x<strong>


	22. A Party

Rosie arrived at the party, her friend Shona answered the door.

"Rosie!" she declared happily. "Oh and is this your little brother you have said so much about? He's so cute." Robbie replied by hiding his face in Rosie's shoulder.

"He's not usually so shy." Rosie laughed bouncing him, then she didn't know if that was true as she didn't really know him. Shona led her through the hallway and into a large living room, it had double doors that opened into a dining room, children of varying ages were running within the two rooms and outside by the patio doors. She handed Shona Gloria's present.

"I put some money in her card too, I didn't feel much like shopping after I bought that."

Shona laughed. "I know how you feel about shopping."

Not that exactly! Rosie thought.

"Have you seen Max recently?" Shona enquired shiftily.

"I saw him today actually." Rosie nodded.

"Oh!" Shona paused waiting for Rosie to elaborate, when she didn't….. "And?"

"Don't ask." Rosie breathed. Sat Robbie on the floor beside her while she settled on the sofa. He was inspecting Gloria's toys intently. He spotted the dolls in the corner and made a beeline crawling.

"You know Sho, I think Robs here is after a doll you know. Dad waited so long for his boy and he wants to play with girls toys." Rosie chuckled. "Dad's gonna be so happy."

Shona decided a warning might be best as she knew Rosie was avoiding the subject. "Max will be here in a hour." Shona mentioned.

"Don't worry I'll avoid him. I don't want to ruin Gloria's day ending up caught in another argument with Max, and it will happen."

Shona nodded.

"How's Ally?"

"She's good, sick of school."

Rosie frowned. "I thought they loved school at that age?"

"Someone forgot to tell Ally that. She thinks I send her to punish her!"

Rosie laughed heartily, her mood brightening considerably. It was hard to be down when she spoke about her god children, they were amazing. They soon noticed Robbie moving towards the door. Rosie went to him and put his on his feet he was wobbly and she held his hands. "C'mon Robs walk into the sunshine." she coaxed.

He made a face as he wobbled.

"Not ready to walk yet?" she picked him up. "That's fine, plenty of time little man." placed him on the grass close to her. She looked around and saw the kids playing in a pool, there was a bouncy castle up, sand pit, bouncy swings slides, a play house, a climbing frame all sorts, every toy imaginable. There were also tables piled high with food. "Gloria!" Rosie shouted and waved.

"Auntie Wosie!" and the little girl ran across the grass as fast as her little legs would carry her. Rosie knelt and lifted her when she reached her. "Hello sweetie, how's my girl been?"

"It's my birfday I'm fwee!"

"Wow, three? So big!"

Gloria smiled proudly. "Who's he? Is that yours and uncle Max's baby?"

Hurt flashed across Rosie's face before she could mask it.

Shona reached for the child. "C'mon Glor…."

"No." Rosie said smiling, although shadows remained in her eyes. "It's ok. Gloria, this is Robbie. He's my dads baby. My little brother, he came to wish you a happy birthday."

Gloria wriggled to be down and sat in front of Robbie and started playing.

"Sorry." Shona murmured into her ear.

Rosie shook her head. "Don't worry about it, it was a long time ago."

Without warning Gloria shrieked. "Uncle MAX!" and ran to him. Rosie looked across and the air was stolen from her lungs when she saw the smile that covered his face, aimed at Gloria of course. Oh God she hadn't seen that smile in so long! Gloria was peppering him with kisses. He was laughing. "It's great to see you too Gloworm." he told her, his nickname for her since she was a baby.

Ally ran over to see him. "Uncle Max look at my braids, mum done it!"

"You look beautiful!" he told the seven year old seriously. "Careful you'll have all the boys chasing you. Then your daddy the policeman will have to arrest them all!"

"Ewww I don't like boys! They smell funny and have do awful stuff!" her voice thick with disgust.

"Bet your dad's happy about that!" he chuckled.

Ally made a face when she didn't understand what he meant. "Go on go play girls." he then turned and saw Rosie stood next to Shona. He paled and moved his feet from side to side uncomfortably. Then he centred himself and walked across. Handed Shona a bag. "Here's little madams prezzie." his smile warm and genuine. He looked at Rosie face nonchalant. "Rosie."

"Max." her tone as unaffected as his. They looked in opposite directions to the other. Silence fell, it was oppressive and uncomfortable. Tension was thick, Rosie needed an escape.

"Robbie needs a change," she picked the baby up and carried him inside. As soon as Rosie walked inside Max closed his eyes for a second and exhaled.

(X)

The kids had eaten and the party was in full swing. Rosie and Max had agreed silently to stay at opposite ends of the garden. She had hers, he had his and never the twain shall meet.

"Sho, watch Robs for a minute will you?"

"Sure." she nodded. Rosie walked inside. Minutes later two kids were fighting. Shona rushed over to break it up. Meanwhile Robbie crawled away.

Max was talking to Greg when he saw Robbie heading for the bushes. Max walked over and picked him up. "Now where are you going huh mini Danny?" he sang.

"Da!"

"Oh are you looking for daddy? He isn't here but Rosie is." the woman he spoke about walked out of the door and saw him holding her little brother. She stalked across, obviously angry. She took the baby. "Why do you have him?"

"He was looking for your dad in the bushes."

"Dada!" Robbie repeated.

Rosie could see in his eyes that Robbie was tired. She rested his head against her shoulder and rocked him from side to side gently. She rubbed his back rhythmically like she had seen Alice do to him. "Thanks for stopping him."

"No problem." his voice escaping him. He stared at her as she cradled the baby. He couldn't help but think of their child. The child they never had the chance to meet. She noticed he was staring and it was awkward again.

"About earlier…" Rosie began to break to tension. "I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said. The shock of seeing you again…" with Marissa! She pushed that errant thought to the back of her mind, this was ok again!

"We both could have handled it better." he admitted. "Lets just draw a line under it and move on."

She gave him a small polite smile. Nothing like the ones she used to give him in the past, full of heat and unspoken promise. She then nodded stiffly and walked away. He watched her go, face full of longing for a moment, then he shook it off and returned to Greg. "So mate you want me to help you clear up?"

"It'd be a big help." Greg replied. "I can see us being up all night." Greg didn't miss the way Max looked at Rosie. "It's not over for you is it?"

"It was til I saw her again. She looks so normal Greg, like my Rosie. But she isn't." he exhaled sadly.

Meanwhile Rosie was talking to Shona. Robbie was dozing on her shoulder. "I'm gonna get little man home ok?"

"How about we set a play date with the kids, have a good catch up. It's been too long."

Rosie smiled and hugged her careful not to jostle Robbie. "It has, I'll call. Take care yeah?" she turned and waved to Greg.

He smiled and waved in return. "Bye girls!" she called.

"Aunt Rosie!" they shouted, ran over and hugged one of her legs each.

"Love you." she told them then departed. Couldn't resist looking towards Greg….and Max one last time.

(X)

Rosie carried her sleeping brother into the house. It was after seven o clock, just about his bedtime. She spotted Alice in the kitchen at the table completing paperwork. She had her head rested in the palm of one hand and was frowning. Muttered something incoherent then scribbled something down. She reached for her coffee cup took a long drink then grimaced.

"Cold?" Rosie asked.

Alice looked behind her. "Yeah." she noticed the baby flat out. "He have a good time? Looks like it."

"Yeah. He now has three girlfriends."

Alice laughed. "Knew he'd be a knockout with the ladies."

"Not like dad huh?" Rosie laughed.

Alice stood up, winced and stretched.

"Alice you ok?"

"Yeah just sat bent over a table for too long. I was there so long my coffee went cold." she took her son from Rosie. He slept on. Alice kissed the top of his head and smile down at him.

"I can sort him." Rosie offered.

"I haven't seen him all day. I'll do it." and with that Alice headed for his room.

Rosie watched as Alice left, as the door closed she realised she was alone with nothing to do. Her thoughts returned to party. Robbie had been a hit with the kids. Then the image of Max holding him, looking far too comfortable materialised into her mind.

"Go away Max!" she hissed blanking her mind.

(X)

Rosie was sleeping peacefully that night when an insistent ringing woke her from her slumber. She groped around her bedside table for the phone. She noted it was still dark. Someone better have a damn good reason for waking her at….she looked at the glowing numbers on her clock…..three am! She didn't recognise the phone number and connected.

"Hello." voice curt and rough with sleep.

"Hello, are you Rosemary Gifthold, Max Gifthold's next of kin?"

Her stomach dropped a call at this time requesting next of kin was never good! "Yes." even though she wasn't officially anything to him she had to know what this was about.

"Mrs Gifthold your husband is in hospital…."

She leapt from the bed. "What….how…." her mind spun. She went to her wardrobe and pulled out some clothes trying to dress with one hand.

"Can you come to Jo'burg general."

"What is wrong with him?"

"I'm afraid I can't give you any specific details right now, you will have to come down and discuss it with our doctors." then the line went dead. She had her jeans on and pulled some shoes on, no socks. She grabbed her coat and was running from her room in seconds grabbing keys as she passed the rack. She didn't notice that her hair was a mess, or that she was wearing only her pyjama top under her coat. She needed to see her husband!

**A/N well wonder what has happened now! Is max badly hurt? Is Alice just tired or is this the start of something different, something more sinister? And is Danny going to be home soon? Read on x**


	23. Checking To Make Sure You're Alright

**A/C RECAP - Rosie got a call from a hospital telling her Max had been brought in. Alice isn't feeling too well after a visit to a game park which owners were burning carcasses of dead animals…**

**(X)**

Max sat on his hospital bed staring off into space, he may be here in body but his mind felt far away. It floated and spun and he couldn't concentrate. Max looked down and saw his clothes were black in places, his face streaked with sweat and soot. He could see his reflection in the gleaming metal of a tray and he didn't recognise his eyes, they were….. he searched his mind for the right word…...haunted. That was the best word he could think of. His mind full of images. Graphic horrifying images. He'd been asleep in Gloria's room, when he'd awoke and saw smoke billowing from under the door. He'd ran from the room and saw bright orange flames licking at the walls, smoke surrounding him, already suffocating. He ran into his friends room and was thrown back against a wall as flames exploded out of the door. He'd caught sight of his friends for a second, only one second, that was all he needed for the image to be indelibly etched onto his brain. They were lain on the bed, flames all around them….over them…. consuming their bodies …..he closed his eyes but the images became more frightening and graphic. The darkness began to press down on him, he began to panic and felt like he couldn't breathe. He opened his eyes and worked on slowing the erratic pants which were torn from him. When it slowed enough for him that he wasn't dragging in air he lowered his head and ran his hands up his face, through his hair. They halted at the top of his head and he fisted his hair as he tried to chase the turmoil of the nights events from his mind. The curtain was dragged across with a screech and he lifted his head, saw a haggard looking Rosie standing there staring at him almost like he was about to disappear.

"Max?" she breathed. "Oh thank God!" her voice broke suddenly and she moved so quickly pulling him to her hugging him tightly. "I was so worried. They called me and said you weren't in hospital but wouldn't tell me anything else. Not even if you were dead or alive!"

He didn't return her embrace, he remained stationary arms limp. "They couldn't tell you…." his voice cold. "Because…." the picture of his friends room filled his mind once again only this time he heard a high pitched scream, no doubt from Shona. His body jerked violently, so much that Rosie was thrust a little way backwards. Max lowered his head and looked away from her, he swallowed and found his mouth dry.

Rosie looked at him, he wasn't the Max she knew. What had happened to him?

"I stayed at Shona and Greg's last night…." He began "That is why they wouldn't tell you anything." head still lowered, voice rough from smoke.

The implications of his words hit her and she gasped. "And?" she whispered eyes wide, her hand covering her mouth.

"I….um…" his breath expelled and he raised his head to look at her, she saw his face crumple a little. "Rosie I saw….." inhaled deeply, coughed his breathing now haggard. "They…."

"No." she whispered shaking her head.

He was still struggling and she saw tears starting to flow down his cheeks. She pulled him close once again burying her face in his shoulder. She could smell the scent of smoke in his clothes, it was oppressive and reminded her of what she lost. This time Max wrapped his arms around her taking the comfort she offered. They both cried silent tears, neither wanting the other to know they were crying although they both knew anyway. Max had his eyes shut tight trying to stem the flow yet they squeezed past the shield he'd tried to erect.

"The girls?" Rosie's voice shook. "Not the girls. Please not the girls." she pleaded.

"No thankfully I got them out."

Her body sagged against him for a second, then she moved from his embrace and looked at him. Sat opposite and found her hand running down his face slowly. A gesture from the past.

Max found enormous comfort from this small token. "They are orphans now Rosie," the comfort dissipating as reality returned with a thud. "Both of their parents are dead, no aunts or uncles."

"Have the doctors spoke about Greg and Shona to you already?"

He opened his mouth and words escaped him, he cleared his throat loudly forcing the statement from his throat. "I don't need them to."

She was confused then her jaw slackened. "Oh my god!" she breathed.

He looked away again, she saw he closed his eyes and exhaled.

"Ok Max." she steered the conversation back into planning territory. She couldn't chase the look from his eyes but she could take his mind off it. "The girls may have lost their parents but they have us. We are their godparents. Greg made us promise if anything happened to them that we would care for the girls, keep them together."

He looked up at her, eyes wide and blue.

"I'm gonna go check on them ok? I'll be back."

He nodded and she walked from the cubicle and closed then curtain, as soon as he was alone the graphic memories began to torture him once more. He left the cubicle and went in search of a doctor.

(X)

Alice awoke early. She opened one eyes and found she had a stinger of a headache. She moved her head a fraction and groaned audibly. The lethargy she was feeling informed her she had the beginning of flu. She really couldn't be bothered to move. When she sat up she grimaced as he muscles protested the movement, god she ached all over! She glanced at her clock squinting and found she had just enough time to shower before she started on breakfast for the kids. She pushed herself to standing and began to shuffle from her room, when she reached the doorway vertigo engulfed her and she fell sideways, found herself using the door for support. She shook her head to dislodge it, she didn't need this right now! She had too much on her plate to be ill!

She began her trek to the bathroom when she felt steady again, she felt about ninety! Given the choice she'd fall back into bed and not surface for a month. She was a mother though, her kids needed her and unlike their dad she couldn't just up and leave, or lie in bed in her case, when the mood struck her. As she opened the bathroom door she heard her mobile ringing. If this was a call out they could go to hell she thought as she hurried back to her room to answer it. She sat on her bed and saw it was Rowan calling her. This was something else she could do without right now! "Hi Rowan." she told him when she connected flopping back on her bed.

"His sis, I just called to see how you are."

She felt like crap! "Just great Rowan."

"Have you and Danny made up then?"

"No. I told him what happened between me and Michael."

She heard him squeak in distress. "Ohhhh, how'd he take it?"

"Well he's in Edinburgh right now on the pretence of visiting Evan so that's how well he took it. That's the reason I've stayed here, I'm needed in the surgery, I can't just leave them in the lurch."

"You are coming back to London though right?" he questioned.

"Eventually." she breathed. "Look Rowan I have so much stuff to sort, first on the list is the kids breakfast so I'll have to call you later."

"Sure thing sis, talk soon." and he disconnected, whilst doing that Rowan winked at Michael.

Meanwhile Alice, who was still lying on her bed heard Robbie over the baby monitor and deflated. No time for that shower, she rubbed her eyes tiredly then rose from the bed to collect her son.

**A/N sorry about the lack of update, this week has been manic! hopefully might have another chappie of this up tonight!  
>Anyway back to it, poor max! he's traumatised by what he saw and Alice is definately not her normal self...nt good people! x<strong>


	24. Put Your Wedding Ring Back On

Rosie sat outside a room in the hospital trying to make sense of what happened in the last few hours. Last night she had went to sleep thinking that all her friends and family were safe and sound, and now they were gone! By the sounds of things murdered while they slept! She had heard police talking to one of the doctors as she passed and it looked like arson, Greg was police, they had been about to take down a major player in the drugs and child trafficking ring. Three officers had been targeted last night, Greg's family was the only fatality, the other two were in serious condition.

Oh god! She could barely think with the way her mind was spinning! Thankfully Max….she closed her eyes….Max. she now knew what he'd seen, the police man had told the doctor….he'd seen them in their room as it had burned. Max didn't deserve that, he was soft as butter inside, she knew how much this was haunting him. All she could do was be there for him, and now the two young children in their care. Grief filled her as she remembered that the girls had lost their mother and father and she had lost her best friend, one of the first ones she had made here in South Africa. They hadn't really been close until Rosie and Max moved to Jo'burg then they seen each other weekly. Now she would never get the chance to talk to her again…she closed her eyes and steadied herself. She was seeing Ally and Gloria soon and she didn't want them to see her an emotional wreck. The doctor was still with them at the moment. She was waiting for a social worker too, there was so much to do! She had a home to sort out for the girls, they would need all new clothes to wear, toys, schools, not to mention the funeral….her throat tightened and she clenched her jaw forcing the feeling away.

"Rosie?" a deep voice called.

She turned, saw the voice came from Max and resisted the urge to run to him, throw herself into his arms and hug him until everything that was hurting her went away. She satisfied herself with cataloguing him, ensuring was ok of course. He had cleaned himself up and even managed to get hold of some clean clothes.

He walked towards her so they were face to face, his head moved slightly closer to hers. "How are you?"

Rosie didn't want to get into how she felt at this moment in time, if she did she might break down and sob and she had to stay strong for the girls. "How are you." she parroted. "You were there. I wasn't…."

His eyes darkened so she didn't finish the sentence. She nodded slightly and he seemed to recover in front of her eyes.

"I have a few cuts and bruises, smoke inhalation." and he'd also been given a sedative, he didn't tell her that as he didn't want her to worry about him, and he knew she would! "Nothing I won't get over."

She nodded, they stared at each other.

"What we gonna do Max?" she finally asked.

"I have no idea." he admitted. Feigning ignorance wasn't an option right now, they had bigger issues.

"We're divorced for a reason! Now we have to find a way to get along and bring up two children, these kids are gonna have some serious scars. How do we help them?"

She didn't have to tell him this, he was well aware of everything that lay ahead of them! The doctor left the room. Rosie stood up.

"I have examined both the girls and they are free to leave when the appropriate guardians arrive."

"Have they been told about their parents?" Rosie asked.

"No, we feel it may be better coming from someone they know and trust." the doctor then left quickly.

Great, their first task! How on earth…..

Max grasped her hand reading her thoughts. "We'll be fine. We'll think of something together ok?"

She wanted so badly to believe him, but he had also promised that they would be together forever and he'd got that wrong! "How do we do this?"

"We start by taking them home."

"Max their home is destroyed…." an image of her friends filled her mind unexpectedly and she bit her lip. He moved to pull her close but she stepped back halting her with her hand. "I'm fine, but thank you." it made no sense to get close to him again. Her brain kicked back into gear and she was planning once again. "We'll take them to Leopards Den, its safe and has plenty of room. You're welcome too." she assured. "As the girls….." God she was a…. she shook her head. "For now we'll stay as Rosie and Max ok, later on if the girls want that changed fine but for now…."

He put his hands on her arms knowing she was tipping on the edge of hysteria. "One thing at a time Rosie." his voice soft. He knew she had a tendency to freak out at time like this. "Remember the girls aren't the only ones who lost someone they loved, we did too."

She nodded slowly seconds later she was back in complete control. "Let's just get the girls home yeah?" it hit her then that she hadn't spoken the statement in that context in quite a while. She and Max were going home, together!

She pushed the thought from her mind, turned and walked into the room the girls occupied. A nurse was sat on a bed reading Gloria a story. She looked nothing like the little girl who had celebrated her third birthday hours earlier. She was clinging to a bear sucking her thumb, something she hadn't done in over a year. Shona had been over the moon when she stopped….. Ok Rosie not the best time to think of her, just focus on the girls and you'll be fine. "Hey girls." Rosie said softly. Looking at Ally. She was sat on a different bed cross legged head down. Gloria looked up and spotted Max, she scrambled off the bed crawled across the bed and jumped off it into the safe arms of her uncle. He clung to her tightly. "Its alright." she heard him murmuring. "I have you." she saw his eyes were closed as he held the child. Rosie meanwhile looked at Ally who hadn't moved, she had raised her head and stared at her. Rosie had never noticed before how much she resembled her mother, she had the same warm green eyes and blond hair. Her features too.

"Where's mum?" she asked, the haunted look in her eyes making her look far older than here tender seven years. "I need to see her, when I do I know everything will be ok." she looked at Max. "Not before."

Rosie went to her and hugged her knowing that she needed it. She was trying to prove she was mature but this was no time for that, she needed to be seven! "We're gonna take you to my dad's house so you can get cleaned up and have a sleep."

"Is mum and dad there?" Ally asked hopefully.

Max looked at Rosie, he was holding Gloria who's eyes were closed, head lolling on his shoulder. His face said this wasn't going to be easy. He motioned her across into a quiet corner.

"Let's just take them home and get some sleep, we'll all feel better." Max suggested.

"We can't." Rosie whispered. "Before we go anywhere we needed someone to tell us we can take them or its kidnapping, we aren't their guardians yet. Officially they are wards of the state!"

"They can't be alone of taken into the system right now Rosie. We are all they have!" he looked at Ally. She was staring at them solemnly.

"I know that as much as you do Max but what else can we do? We have to make sure we do this right and make sure we don't give anyone any ammo to NOT give the girls to us!"

He nodded in understanding.

"They need to stay together too." she added. "They are the only blood relations the other has now."

Max exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. Gloria although asleep was clinging to him, arms around his neck. He rubbed her hair gently. He lay her down and coaxed Ally over beside her. She fell asleep and Rosie sat beside Max waiting. Just after one o'clock a woman walked in. Rosie looked at the girls curled up on the bed together. She and Max gestured the woman to a quiet corner.

"Hello I am Sharon Calder and I have been assigned to the girls named Gloria and Alison Burton."

"We want the girls." Rosie said without preamble. "Their parents expressed to us that we were to take guardianship of them in the event of…." Rosie exhaled. "If anything happened to them." she had taken hours to perfect that statement.

"We are looking into that, we know that you two have been named as preferred guardians and a preliminary check has been conducted, which is why it has taken me so long to get here. We are willing to grant you both a temporary custody order until we can confirm that you are both suitable full time guardians. Before we can go any further I need you to fill these forms out."

Rosie looked at the form, took her pen and began to fill in the boxes. "The address in this form will be temporary. We will be taking the girls to my parents house. They own a game reserve and have plenty of space in huts to allow the girls to grieve in private. The reason for this is Max and I currently live in a small one bedroom flat which is completely unsuitable and too small for two small children. We will start making alternative arrangements immediately."

Max stared at Rosie, she had filled the for in as Rosie Gifthold, signed it that way too so this was no mistake. Then she smiled at the social worker. "Call in at anytime. We have nothing hide."

"I'll be seeing you both soon." she assured and left.

Rosie exhaled lifted her hand and stared at the finger which had once held her wedding ring. She hadn't worn one for so long that the line which used to exist had tanned to the same colour as the rest of her hand.

"Rosie?" Max asked.

"Put your wedding ring back on Max." she told him.

"What? Why?"

"Coz from right now we are married again."

His jaw dropped.

"Don't worry this isn't real, we have to pretend until we get custody of the girls."

"Then what?" he challenged.

"Then we split again and stay amicable for the girls sake."

"Rosie this causes more problems then it solves. Who do they live with when we go our separate ways? What if the social worker finds out we're actually divorced. How will the girls be affected when we eventually split?"

"Max unless we do this then none of those problems exist. They had a stable two parent family do you honestly we have snowballs chance in hell of getting them apart? I saw the way she looked at us and she thinks we aren't suitable together! If we want the girls and I do then we need to do this. They need us Max, we are all they have left of their mum and dad, our memories of them keep them alive for the girls!

Max saw tears starting to fall down her cheeks, it hit him then that while she was staying strong for everyone she had no relief. "Ok ok." he told her am put his hand on her arm. "We'll do this for them."

Her hands were swiping at her cheeks trying to erase the tears that had fell. "Thank you, bring some of your stuff to dads. You'll have to put some in my wardrobe along with other stuff of yours so it looks lived in, then you can stay in another room or hut."

He nodded. "Ok." agreeing to everything. He knew she was trying to fix everything, her mind going overtime. She was gonna crumble soon though. Hopefully her dad would be near to pick up the pieces.

"Lets go huh?" he suggested. "I'm quite looking forward to seeing everyone, I haven't seen them in over two years Wish it was for better circumstances though." he sighed.

"Alice is run ragged." she picked up Gloria, Max took Ally. "Dad is in Edinburgh visiting Evan. They aren't having the best of time right now so I'd appreciate if you ignore all you see and hear. Dad and Dupe are barely talking too."

"Wow." he whispered.

"You don't know the half of it Max." she looked at him as they walked down the hallway towards the exit. "When did life start spiralling our of control?" she asked.

Since he'd lost her was the impulsive reply, he kept it to himself.

**A/N poor rosie and max...will they get custody? the there is all the chaos going on at leopards den wrote some today, some good and some VERY bad! Stay tuned there is fluff coming...honest :) x**


	25. Wish Upon A Star

Alice walked around the surgery feeling half like she was in a trance. It took her whole concentration to ensure that she gave the correct meds to the specific animals. She hadn't had much sleep last night, that combined with how ill she felt was making her feel delirious. She was sure she'd had a conversation with a Roycat half an hour ago, the scary part was it had been answering her, and she had found that completely normal. God she needed some sleep! As she walked towards the animals she felt the same irritating little tickle in her throat she'd had all day. All morning she had been coughing, this dry totally useless cough that was doing her head in! She had a cold coming on too, she could feel it. Put simply she was dead on her feet, all this emotional upheaval was taking it's toll on her so when Robbie went for his afternoon nap she intended to go and hopefully get an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep. God knows she could use it, she knew that if she could just get some rest this ill feeling would just disappear. Thing was Robbie had been stuck in his playpen in the office all day and she wasn't that sure he'd be agreeable to go for a nap after being coped up all day long. She hated doing it but she had no choice. Everyone had their own stuff going on and she was his mother and didn't like palming him off on everyone just coz she had stuff to do. After placing the last food bowl in the final cage she went to the office.

"Mama!" Robbie called lifting his arms.

She lifted him and called Ed making sure that he was covering all the call outs. When he assured her it was fine she almost threw the phone out of her hand as to ensure he didn't have time to change his mind, she didn't though, she calmly thanked him and placed the phone in the cradle. As she carried Robbie up to the house she talked to him.

"Bottle then sleepy time little man, sorry mummy hasn't had much time for you today but later on after a sleep I'm all yours." she promised. The only time they had spent today was when he needed changed or when she fed him his dinner. "So if my baby will go straight to sleep then we'll play." She talked nonsense to him while she collected him a bottle, he began drinking it eagerly. She saw his eyes drooping tiredly. He fell asleep before finishing. She carried him into his room and lay him in his cot. Placed his blanket over him gently and opened his window a crack in case he got too warm. She shuffled her weary body into her room and flopped onto the bed, felt its warmth and softness envelope her. She closed her eyes and let herself drift…..then heard a cry over the baby monitor.

"Robs…." she groaned. She should have known that was too easy. Pulled herself back up, went to Robbie's room and tried for twenty minutes to get him to settle. She couldn't be bothered for this, usually she would never do this but she was so tired and had no other choice she picked up Robbie blanket and all and took him into her and Danny's room. She used her free arm to move the blanket out of the way and lay him in the middle of the bed. After that she folded the blanket and used it as a shield to make sure he didn't fall off, then popped the pillows on top to make sure. She then lay down on her side and put her hand on his small chest. She felt it moving up and down rhythmically and felt herself growing drowsy. Robbie was still wide awake though so while he babbled she imagined doing the most intricate surgery she could think of. She was half way through when she saw his eyes close. Thank God, she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep going, if that animal hadn't been in her imagination then she was pretty sure it would be dead by now, even in her mind she was falling asleep! Since she was free she allowed her mind to drift, inevitably her thoughts led her to the same place it always did when she drifted, to the copy, to Danny. She smiled as he took her hand looking at her so intensely like he used to. He led her around a corner and there was blanket with a picnic, champagne glasses glistening. He knelt down, picked them up and handed one to her.

"To us."

She tipped her glass and it hit his with a clink then he put his arm around hers and as they linked they drank from their glasses. She giggled in her dream but couldn't know that in reality her smile was wide. After placing the glasses down he took her in his arms gently and kissed her murmuring how much he loved her. Nothing had came between them here, they were happy. She was in heaven.

(X)

Rosie and Max lifted the two girls from the car after they had arrived at Leopards Den. Rosie carried Gloria, she felt wobbly and not from the weight of the child, she knew she was barely holding on to her control. As Max had drove Ally had began to cry in her sleep, Rosie had did her best to comfort her but she begged for her mum and Rosie heart had broke. Finally she had fallen back to sleep but the helpless feeling had remained with Rosie and she needed some time to gather herself.

"This place hasn't changed." Max murmured as she walked up the stairs. "Apart from a lick of paint."

"Things have been updated." she told him. "But some things never really change." not like life! Life changed so damn quick sometimes and there was nothing you could do to stop it from spiralling out of control, all you could do was hold on tight and hoped you survived. She couldn't do this! She checked her watch. It was after two, Alice would be putting Robbie down for his nap, perfect time for a chat...and meltdown.

"Max I have to go see Alice, will you settle the girls in the living room and I'll be there in a little bit."

"Yeah sure."

She handed him Gloria in his free arm and headed for her brothers room, found it empty. Alice would be in the surgery so when she was down the stairs she broke into a dead run down there. She really needed someone right now, she was glad it was Alice and not her dad. Alice would tell her straight while he would tell her everything she wanted to hear, which while kind was not really helpful. She almost screamed when the surgery was empty too. She trudged back up to the house hands in her pockets when she realised that Alice might be in her room. Maybe Caroline had taken the kids for the day and Alice was tidying or something. She jogged up the stairs and headed straight for Alice's room, knocked softly then popped her head in. She saw Alice lain half on her stomach her arm stretched out to her left. There was a heap of blankets obstructing the view and she knew that her baby brother was lain on the other side. She hated to wake Alice up, she needed her sleep but she had no one else right now. She walked to her side and knelt down. Shook her arm. "Alice." she whispered not wanting to disturb the sleeping baby.

Alice moaned and buried her head in the pillow, she heard her murmur her dad's name. Alice was sleeping deeply, which made Rosie's guilt deeper. She shook her harder. "Alice!" firmer then before.

Alice eyes popped open and when she saw Rosie hovering over her with such ain in her eyes she sat up sharply. "What is it?" voice thick with fatigue and slurred from sleep.

Rosie got up and sat on the side of the bed.

Alice took in the sight of her step daughter. "Rosie are you ok? You look terrible." cleared her throat when her voice was croaky.

Rosie stared at her, the terrible comment coming from someone who's eyes were so bloodshot they almost glowed and had bags under them that looked like sacks of potato's. She was reminded of the sleeping children and rubbed her mouth. "Alice I have to ask a favour."

"Anything." Alice lay back down rubbing her face.

"Well see….." Rosie's face crumpled and the last of her reserve broke away. Soon her head was bowed and she was sobbing.

Alice was instantly wide awake. She sat up taking Rosie in her arms hugging her tightly. "Rosie sweetheart what's happened?"

"My friends…." she breathed, more sobs being torn from her. "They've been killed. I've been at the hospital all morning."

"Oh Rosie." Alice hugged her closer and put her hand on her head, like she did Charlotte when she was trying to shield her from anything that may cause her harm, physical or emotional.

"Now me and Max need to care for their two girls and I don't know what to do." she buried her face in Alice's shoulder and clung to her. "I'm so scared!"

"You'll be fine Rosie." Alice promised.

"Can we all…."

"Rosie you don't even have to ask, you Max and the kids can stay here as long as you need to."

Rosie nodded and pulled away, her eyes red rimmed. "Alice what if mess up…"

Alice shook her head.

"I mean they don't even know their mum and dad are dead, this is so important and I know that somewhere I'll…."

Alice knew that Rosie was about to go on a tangent, one Alice wouldn't let her follow through on. It would only plant the seed of doubt firmer into her mind. Alice cupped her face in both her hands "Listen to me Rosemary Trevanion, you'll be fine! I know it! It won't be easy and sometimes you'll want to scream but if you and Max work together you'll be fine, better than that, you'll be amazing."

"Max and I are divorced though." she whispered.

"Support each other, learn to listen." and Alice lowered her hands.

Rosie looked at her, eyes bleak. "I'm sorry for disturbing you."

Alice shook her head. "It's fine, stuff to do anyway."

"Do you mind if we go to a hut or something, the girls need to grieve in private."

"The luxury lodge is all yours. it has the separate rooms or the …." if Alice's brain hadn't been so addled from sleep deprivation she wouldn't have nearly mentioned the flat, the same flat Rosie and Max had lived in when they were newly married. She trailed off.

"The lodge is fine, has all we need."

Alice stood up and stretched, watched Rosie pull a hand through her hair.

"I know it's hard Rosie but try not to worry."

Rosie stood up and Alice hugged her once again. "I'm here for you anytime day or night." Alice murmured in her ear then kissed her cheek.

"Thank you." then Rosie exhaled and left the room.

Alice felt her entire spine lose consistency and her body slumped as she stood. She rubbed her tired face trying to force it to wake up. So much for sleep, unfortunately after ten minutes rest she found it impossible to go back off. She was awake for the duration now, even if she did feel like death! She picked her son up and took him back to his room then collected her paperwork. Saw Rosie and Max in the living room heads together deep in conversation. Rosie put her head in his chest and he hugged her close, placing his face on her hair, those two were gonna find a way to do this she knew it. She hurried away before they noticed they were being watched and became self conscious. Alice knew what was happening between them even if they didn't…. yet.

(X)

While the girls slept Max had returned home to collect his clothes, his wedding ring and was once again stood on Leopards Den. This place had been his home once, somewhere he'd been sure he would never be again, yet here he was, two small girls bringing him and Rosie together once again. It was six o'clock now and the girls had awoke, he and Rosie had decided that the best course of action would be to give them something to eat first then tell them about their parents. Neither he or Rosie truly knew what they were doing but they were both in the same situation and talking, which they hadn't done a lot in the dying days of their marriage. It felt good, better than good actually. Too bad the reason they were close existed. Right now they were sat on the little veranda in the lodge. The night was warm and the crickets were playing their song. Darkness was beginning to fall. the four people sat at a table eating. The only sound was the cutlery moving against the plate. The girls took sporadic bites but mostly pushed their food around their plate.

"So Ally Gloria is this food ok for you?" Rosie asked. Nomsa had sent down so of her home cooking. Jackets potato's with steaks and gravy.

"We want mum and dad!" Ally spoke up. Gloria's blond head nodded vigorously beside her, a plea in her dads blue eyes. Rosie placed her cutlery down carefully and nodded at Max. She rubbed the back of her neck as tension made it feel like stone, then stood up. "Lets go inside girls." took a hand of each of the girls. They walked inside and she sat them down on the sofa. Knelt in front of them. Max did too.

"Girls…" she began. "Your mum and dad…." Rosie moistened her lips as it felt like her whole body suddenly had became like a prune.

The girls stared expectedly.

Max put his arm around Rosie and began. "Your mum and dad got a really important message last night, they got told that someone had a really special important job that only they could do. This was why they had to leave, they went up to heaven to look after all the little angels."

Ally's eyes widened. "So they are…"

Max nodded. Rosie wrapped her in her arms as she started to scream and sob. "I'm so sorry sweetie." stroked her hair holding her tight.

Gloria being three didn't quite understand. "When will they come home?"

Max lifted the child onto his knee and looked at her little face. "They won't be sweetie, they are angels now."

"Never ever?" she asked lower lip trembling. "I want my mummy and daddy though. Daddy reads me stories always every night and mummy makes my favouritest food."

"That's why we are here." Rosie cut in. "We aren't your mummy and daddy, no one could ever replace them but we will be looking after you both and love you with all our hearts."

Rosie's heart broke as she heard Ally still weeping uncontrollably in her arms.

Max picked Gloria up and motioned for Rosie to bring Ally. Rosie carried the girl outside and they sat on the stairs and looked at the sky which was darker than before. Ally was bent double so Rosie sat her on her knee. Max pointed up to the dark blue night.

"See those stars up there? Those two big ones that are twinkling at us? That's your mum and dad together in heaven. Although they aren't here in person they are still here, around us everyday. And every night as you sleep you can rest easy knowing that they are watching over you. Anything you want to say tell it to those stars and even though they can't answer you they can hear you. You ever hear of wishing on stars? Well wish on those stars and they'll do their best to make sure it comes true."

Gloria buried her face in his arm. "Will you teach me the song?"

He nodded. "Say after me, Star light, star bright, two stars I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I make tonight." he had changed it just slightly for the girls.

Gloria said it softly.

"We'll practice every night ok?" Max promised.

Gloria nodded.

Ally was still wrapped up in Rosie shuddering.

Rosie was all choked up, unable to talk past the lump in her throat. Her eyes glistened. Max saw her close her eyes. He reached past the girls and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him.

"You ok?" he mouthed.

She nodded. "Thank you." she replied silently.

He blinked and turned. The two children wept silently, held by the two adults who stared up at the sky, wishing on the stars that things were different.

**A/N awwww alice rosie support was so sweet, then at the end there with Rosie and Max, you can only hope things stay this way when Danny returns in the next chapter x**


	26. Coming Home

Alice sat on the bathroom floor clutching her stomach which was cramping painfully. She had dashed here after being jerked from sleep by her churning stomach, she barely made it to the bathroom in time. Why wasn't she better yet? Two days later and whatever virus or flu she had caught had her in a relentless grip, it was determined to stick with her until the bitter end. She just hoped she didn't pass this on to Charlie or Robbie, if it was like this with her how would they be? As another spasm engulfed her she shuddered, she had never been this ill before! Why wasn't Danny here? Then she could curl up in bed and just sleep until she felt better. But NO! All she could do was add throwing up to her already long list of ailments.

She heard a knock on the bathroom door and knew it was Dupe, since he returned home last night and noticed how ill she looked she now had a new shadow. "Alice?"

"I'm fine Dupe." she called out tiredly.

"I heard you throwing up….there isn't a reason for that that Trevanion should know about is there?"

"Trust me Dupe, definitely not! I just ate some bad takeaway for dinner yesterday and it's disagreed with me." she stood up on shaky legs proud that she hadn't slumped to the floor.

"Alice I'm worried about you." he admitted softly. He'd spent the last three days at Mara tracking and he came home to find Alice looking like death warmed over. Everyone seemed distracted so no one noticed, he had though.

Alice flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth. Studied herself in the mirror as she did. Ok yeah she was a little paler than usual and her eyes duller but it wasn't every day that you told your husband you cheated and knew you were on the cusp of being divorced? After she was able to find some time alone have a good cry and catch up on sleep she'd be right as rain in no time…..try telling Dupe that though! She smoothed her hair down and opened the door. Looked at Dupe's concerned face. "Look Dupe I feel much better after throwing up, whatever illness I have is starting to die out." she did feel better actually….marginally.

"Alice why don't you ask Rosie to take Robbie so you can sleep?"

"She has her hands full with the girls, look I'm alright." she tried to walk passed him. He stopped her.

"I'm keeping my eye on you. Caroline and I will look after little man if you're not in the surgery, you should catch up on sleep."

"I can't…."

"You can and will." he lowered his voice. "You look terrible, your taking too much on."

"Thanks just what every girl wants to hear." she drawled. "Plus Dupe Danny is away, there is nothing else I can do."

Dupe scowled. "I made a mistake sending him away."

"That was you?"

He nodded. "We all needed space, getting one each others nerves so I told him to get lost." he shook his head. "I didn't think it through, as usual."

"Dupe when he comes back I want you to forget what happened."

"But…"

"No buts Dupe, nothing that was said matters anymore. When I'm gone from here you and he need to be able to work together."

"Can't you two work this out like you always do? I mean you say bad stuff but you always make up in the end."

She shook her head. "As much as it kills me to say it me and Danny are over for good but we need to be able to remain friends for the sake of the kids. Please Dupe, do it for me."

He searched Alice's tired face and found himself reluctantly nodding. Only to take another load from her already weighted shoulders. "I'm not apologising though! He was well out of order!"

"All I ask is to forget it." she patted his shoulder and moved passed him, he allowed her to go this time.

"You know Alice." he called.

She turned to look at him.

"I always figured that me and Caroline would split before you and Danny did, and Caroline and I are for keeps."

"I never thought this would happen either." she admitted sadly. "Look Dupe I have stuff to do…." and she turned stiffly before he could see how the words affected her, he knew all the same.

(X)

Rosie was shattered, in the last two days she had went shopping with both the girls trying to get them to perk up. They had all new clothes and any toy they wanted. Neither of them enjoyed the trip, they had loved shopping with their mother but were uncharacteristically subdued. Gloria had continued to suck her thumb too. Rosie was out of her depth, so out of her depth she was barely keeping herself afloat. She wasn't a mother, she didn't know how to be one. She loved the girls. That part was easy it was everything else that was daunting. The knowing when something was wrong. Gloria seemed to be easier than Ally, she came to Rosie each night and slept with her and just needed held while she cried and told everything was going to be ok. Ally though….she was a toughie. She walked around in a trance sometimes. Other times she'd pretend everything was ok. Then there were the moody silences, like on the shopping trip. Ok it hadn't been the best idea for them to go shopping but they had needed new clothes and Max was away sorting his bar at Jo'burg what other choice did Rosie have?

For all her worrying about the girls the one area she had been expecting problems but found none were her and Max. They talked and listened, something that had swiftly died as their marriage disintegrated. It had become so easy to get back into the routine of seeing him every morning. His toothbrush beside hers. His aftershave and deodorant lingering in the air after he showered. His hair gel alongside her sprays. She was so scared she'd feel something for him again because at the end of it all they were going to go their separate ways. The subject of her musings walked into the living room with only jeans on having freshly showered, her eyes nearly popped from her head. He hadn't looked like that last time she's seen him! He had started going to the gym but...whoa!

"So Rosie when is your dad home?" He asked rubbing his hair with a towel, oblivious to her wide eyes perusal of his body.

"Later." she squeaked high pitched.

He dropped the towel to the chair and it brought her back to the present. She eyed the towel then him.

He grinned. "Oh I forgot that was your pet hate, damp towels everywhere." he picked it up and folded it. "Will Danny be ok with me?"

She looked away, anywhere but at his chest. "He'll have to be, we have kids together." her jaw dropped her eyes met his. "Whoa, saying that felt weird."

He felt better knowing that he wasn't the only one who felt like that. "I know." he admitted. "Kinda freaks me out sometimes, knowing that for the rest of their lives they are our responsibility." he rubbed the back of his neck. He sat on the sofa beside her. Pulled his black t-shirt on which she was immensely grateful for. "Rosie do you….." he trailed off. "I sometimes wonder…."

"Me too." she admitted a whisper, knew what he was trying to say. "I wish I knew the simple things, if it was a boy or a girl. It wouldn't make it easier to handle knowing but at least we'd know. I mean we didn't even get to name it. I'd always planned on little Max for a boy and Miranda Sara for a girl."

He nodded and dropped his head. "I don't think I had thought names, but I had my plan, our lives….."

"Would it be easier if it was still here?"

He shrugged. "Who knows. We'd be more prepared for the challenges I think."

"I feel like I'm doing it all wrong, I took them shopping the day after they found out their parents were dead!"

"I think that was good, trying to get them settled into a normal routine. Plus they needed clothes and stuff."

"But being a mother though, it just scares me. What do we feed them? What about school? Emotional needs? And no doubt a whole other range of other stuff that I haven't even realised!"

"Rosie cut yourself some slack, we've had them two days and your doing great! I knew you would. You're a natural."

She looked at him sideways. "This is so important though." ignoring his statement.

"Just continue what your doing." he assured.

"But…" she lowered her head.

He lifted her chin so she looked at him. "No buts your amazing, end of!"

They looked at each other for a second, locked in the pull of the others eyes then realised and looked away. Rosie scooted away from him when Gloria walked into the room.

"Auntie Wosie, can't sleep."

She picked the little girl up. "Its time for breakfast anyway. How about porridge?"

Gloria shook her head. "Don't like it."

"What would you like then?"

The child shrugged. She didn't care about much lately.

Rosie looked at Max feeling like a failure.

(X)

Danny walked onto his land and looked around. He saw the house in the distance standing tall and proud, the surgery south of the house. His pens no longer stood there, and neither did the wind fan. He wanted to build another of those. He hadn't noticed it that much in the past but its absence now was massive. Its funny what you miss without even realising it. He walked ahead pulling his case feeling peace overwhelm him. He was happy to be home, this was where he belonged. While away he'd gained the space he needed and perspective too. He wasn't sure if he and Alice could work this thing our but the agony he'd felt wasn't as raw and he could see clearer now.

Now he couldn't wait to see the kids, even Rosie who wasn't a kid anymore. Saying that she would always be his baby. He had missed them all so much. He had planned at staying at Evans a few more days but Rosie for some reason wasn't replying to his calls and Caroline was being evasive so he'd packed up and came home….and he was happy he did.

He lifted his case and carried it into the house, took it into his and Alice's bedroom on instinct. Saw the bed messy and unmade. That wasn't like Alice, she always made her bed when she got up….then it hit him, she had returned to their old bedroom in his absence. Back where she belonged, with him though? Was the main question. He still wasn't sure. There were times over the last few days when he missed her more than words could express and he fooled himself into thinking that he could get over what happened…..but then he'd hear Liv laugh at Evan, she sounded so much like Alice's for some reason and he remembered how Alice and Michael must have laughed at him while they cheated in his room, in their marital bed. To be honest the hurt remained not as intense but still there.

He walked over to the bed and put his hand on her pillow. If he closed his eyes he could see her lain there, a light in her eyes as she looked at him. Only he couldn't be sure if it was him she was seeing anymore. He was trying to force these thoughts away but he couldn't, they refused. He stomped from the room in search for the kids. When he found no one he assumed Alice had taken them out for the day and headed for the surgery. Wonder what had been going on over the last few days, he hoped Alice hadn't been too busy….he walked in and saw Alice, Charlie and Robbie beside the pens. Charlie was kneeling on the floor smiling widely. In the pen lay a white lioness with a small cub. Alice was on her haunches Robbie stood in front of her, Alice holding him steady a hand splayed across his stomach. She was talking to them softly. Danny stared at them unable to tear his eyes away, the sight was…he couldn't explain it, it was perfection.

"Wow." Charlie whispered. "Did the lion need much help?"

"Just a little." Alice ruffled Charlie's dark hair.

"The baby is so cute." Charlie was awed.

Robbie squeaked in annoyance.

Charlie and Alice laughed. "Your still the cutest ever." Charlie promised and kissed his little hand.

"Does my Robbie like the baby lion?" Alice sang and blew a raspberry on his cheek.

Robbie giggled. "Wi-on!"

"Good boy!" Alice kissed the top of his head. "I'll take that as a yes." from the corner of her eye she saw a man stood watching them and stood up. She knew who this was immediately. Trust him to ruin a moment with the kids. "Danny." she tried to keep her voice neutral.

Charlie spun on her knees. "Danny?" she stood up quickly to run to him then halted herself. Crossed her arms.

"Hello sweetheart."

Charlie narrowed her eyes, stomped to the office, passed him without looking and slammed the door.

He closed his eyes for a second then looked at Alice who hadn't moved. She still held their son.

"Robbie!" Danny called.

The boys head whipped around. "Da!" he called. "Dada!"

Danny walked over and took him. "At least someone still loves me." and he hugged his child.

Alice watched Robbie rest his head against his dads chest. Alice found her anger melting away, she found it hard to stay angry when Robbie was so clearly overjoyed his dad was here. "He missed you." Alice told Danny. "Charlie did too though she won't admit it."

Danny nodded. "I missed them."

"How is Evan and Liv?" Alice asked.

"Evan is brilliant, up to his eyeballs in work. As tall as me now, shocked the hell out of me. Liv is coming home in a few days."

Alice nodded.

Danny noted now that he was closer to Alice she was a lot paler, her eyes were duller too. Her face drawn and tired. "Alice are you ok?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" she asked.

"He stared at her. "You just look different, ill." and not herself! He added silently.

"Well I'm not." she told him simply. "And if you have Robbie I think I'll radio Ed and tell him I can do the call outs."

"I actually wouldn't mind speaking to Charlotte."

She took Robbie and bounced him as he moaned for his dad. "Don't expect too much."

He gave her a cocky half grin and she felt her head swim. "I'm up to the job, I'm her dad." then he headed for the office and walked inside.

Charlie's head turned. "Mum tell….get out of here!" her green eyes angry.

"Charlie…."

She stood up and pointed to the door. "Get out of here!" she repeated. "I don't want to talk to you, you made mum cry!" she hissed. "Don't try to deny it or make excuses."

"I'm not." eh told her.

That took the wind from her sails.

"Why?" she breathed. "Why hurt her like that?"

Like he could really tell her! "The only thing I want to say is there is stuff between me and your mum that you don't know. Stuff you won't understand til you fall in love. The thing I know you will understand, better than most is how much I don't want to lose you. No matter where me and your mum end up I want to be part of your life….but only if you want me to. I know me and your mum have a lot of talking to do and stuff to work out but I don't want that interfering in my relationship with my daughter. I know it upset you seeing your mum like that and to be honest it hit me hard as well, it made me realise a lot of things. I can swear right now on the most important things in my life it will never happen again. You'll never see her hurt like that because of me again."

"What do you swear on?"

"You, Robbie, Rosie, Evan and Liv."

"Never again?" she whispered.

"EVER!"

She finally ran to him satisfied with his promise. She threw herself in his arms. "I missed you."

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Realised she was taller. "I missed you too, you grew huh?"

She beamed, her mum hadn't even noticed yet!

"You'll be as tall as me soon!" he told her.

"I hope so." she giggled then skipped from the office and out of the surgery. Danny followed, walked to Alice.

Alice was shocked. "You're a miracle worker." she told him. "You got voodoo or something? She's been in a foul mood the past few days."

He tickled under Robbie's chin. "Money always works."

"Danny!" she declared.

He laughed finding it surprisingly easy to be around her. "I just told her how I felt." he shrugged. "Seemed to work."

It had for her at the copy she surmised. She handed Robbie over. "Here, there's call outs to be done."

He nodded. She went in the office to collect the file and sort her box. Instead of leaving Danny followed. She was rifling through the desk for the paperwork while Danny placed Robbie in the playpen and picked up the box and opened it.

"Da!" Robbie squawked angrily. "Dada!"

"I can sort this Danny, spend time with Robbie, you haven't had any lately."

Robbie was stood holding the pole scowling looking the image of his dad. "DA!"

Alice and Danny turned their heads just as he took a few hesitant steps from opposite sides of the playpen unaided to get close to his target.

They both stood their mouths open as Robbie did it again, the other way.

"Alice did you just see that?" he asked excitedly. It waned slightly. "Has he done that before?" Danny whispered.

Alice shook her head. "No."

Danny was suddenly smiling widely laughing slightly. "He just walked!" he told her.

Robbie was distracted by his new skill and was toddling around his playpen wobbling. They both took a step towards the pen and reached for their child. As they did they bumped heads and she fell backwards. He reached for her instinctively and stopped her from falling. He straightened up, her hands found his chest.

The first thing Danny realised was how right she felt in his arms, he tightened his hold.

Alice looked up at him. "I better….." the words died as her eyes met his. All was silent in the office, the outside world had ceased to exist, still Danny held her unable to let go. Without thinking he found his head lowering. When his lips met hers he felt a burst of emotion in his chest so intense it stole his breath. His hands found her cheeks and he cupped them, he knew he needed to pull away, each time he did he seemed to return for another deeper and loved filled kiss. His heart was racing, he had never felt like this before, like if he stopped kissing her he'd literally die. There was a knock on the surgery door and a loud cough. Alice yanked away from him, wobbled and caught herself on the table. She blushed bright red. He rubbed his face. Danny noted that Alice's cheeks which had been pale now had colour. Rosie stood at the door smiling widely. "I saw dad's case in the house and knew he'd be down here." she walked over and took Robbie. "I'll just take him and let you two do…whatever. I'll talk to dad when he comes back to the house." she left quickly giggling excitedly.

Danny and Alice were now alone in the surgery. They were both quiet.

"I'd better get to those call outs." she said and searched the vet box for everything she needed. She had no idea what was in the box just needed to busy her hands and ignore Danny who stood watching her. He couldn't know how much one kiss affected her, especially since he looked fine.

"Alice…" his voice soft.

A knife pierced her heart, she heard that tone many times. "Look Danny!" she snapped. "I don't need to hear it was a spur of the moment thing or a mistake., I gathered that ok!"

He frowned. "I wasn't going to say that. Do you think that?"

"Oh….um no."

He rubbed his arm. "I just thought that maybe you might want to spend some time with me tonight, we'll watch a movie when the kids are in bed?"

She nodded. "I'd like that….but how do you feel about it?"

"The kiss shocked me." he admitted. It had been an impulse, a lot like their first kiss. What was a bigger shock was that he wanted to kiss her again. He had forgot how intoxicating she was, how one kiss made him want more and more. He moved closer and ran the tip of his finger down one cheek. "But I feel fine with it, us." his lips finding hers once again. This time he felt her responding fully whereas before she held back. He pulled back quickly before this went too far. "I'll see you later, let you get the call outs sorted. Meet you at nine on the sofa?"

She smiled at him. "I'm looking forward to it." and she was!

**A/N awww well rax seem to be getting along better and danice have had their first meeting and kiss...could everything be going smoothly or is this the calm before the storm...stay tuned!**


	27. Just Like the Beginning

Danny walked into the house a wide smile on his face. Rosie heard him approaching and popped her head out of the living room door and grinned.

"So you and Alice are sorting things out huh?" in lieu of a hello.

"Could be!" he felt pumped, excited for tonight. He had no idea what they were going to be watching and still he had never been so eager to watch a movie before.

"So the time apart?" Rosie asked.

"It gave me time to cool down, it was Robbie who did it though!" he picked his son up and swung him around. "He walked in his play pen…."

Rosie smiled. "He walked?"

Danny nodded. "After doing that both Alice and I went to pick him up at the same time, we bumped heads and she almost fell. I caught her."

Rosie smiled, "So she fell for you again?"

"To be honest I think it was the other way around." he wanted, no needed to go see Alice again. He felt like he did when he first declared that he loved her, like he had to be around her, and when he was he had to touch her. She was like a fever in his blood.

"It's good that you two are working things out. I know how much you need her, how much she needs you too." she paused. "There's something else too dad... Max is at Leopards Den."

"Oh…" he gave her an unblinking stare.

She shook her head quickly. "It's not like that dad." she inhaled. "Do you remember my friend Shona, she used to come here sometimes."

His face creased as he thought. "I think so, a little bit. Little blond woman?"

She nodded. "She and her husband died." she croaked, though managed to say it without bursting into tears so that was progress. "Me and Max are now the guardians of their two daughters."

Danny went to her and wrapped her in his embrace, even Robbie patted her head affectionately. Her arms held him tightly."

I know you're worried about whether or not you can do this…." he murmured.

This is what she loved most about her dad, how he knew what was troubling her and she didn't even have to say it.

"….but don't." he carried on. "You'll be the best mum to those two girls. Not only are you so gentle and loving but you had three of the most perfect teachers you can find."

"That's the thing dad it's killing me coz I don't remember much about mum, it's more of a feeling now."

"There's always Sarah."

"I blanked her when Evan and Liv were young and when I finally got used to her it didn't matter, the kids were up and didn't need her anymore. I've been watching Alice with Robbie and Charlie and she just knows. I can't live up to that." she looked into his eyes, lowered her voice. "I'm gonna fail dad."

"You're worrying about nothing Rosie, seriously you'll be great. Kids need stability, you give them that. They need love and you have more than enough to give. They'll need to know that you'll be there and listen and it goes without saying that you will."

She moved from her dads embrace, looked at him holding Robbie, it was natural to him too.

"Are you and Max ok?" he asked.

"We're getting long better than we have in years, it's only been a few days though so we'll see." if she was being honest she was expecting a break down.

"You know Rosie." Danny told her playing with his sons fingers. "If you are certain bad things will happen they will. Don't dwell on it, this could be a new start for you if you let it."

She nodded. "Thanks dad, you always know the right thing to say."

"Years of practice, you'll get there too, you just need to give yourself time."

"Those girls need a mother now though!" she blurted.

"Rosie the girls need someone to be there right now. The only person who expects you to be perfect is you." he moved some hair from her face. "Even as a little girl less than perfect wasn't acceptable, you get it from me, but see you don't need to know everything or do everything right to be good, just do your best and no one can fault you."

Rosie felt his words and found herself throwing herself in his arms. "I'm so happy your home dad, I've missed this. Being able to talk to you face to face."

He kissed the top of her head. "No matter what I'm always here."

She pulled away from him for the last time. "I'd better be getting back to the kids, I try to give them some alone time with Max, you know bonding and stuff." she shrugged. "But they might need me."

"If they are up to it and if you feel like it, bring them and Max up to house for tea."

She nodded. "I'll ring you."

He walked her from the house by her side. "Don't make that the only reason you call, I'm here any time at all."

She nodded again and walked down the stairs slowly.

He watched her, his heart breaking that he couldn't fix this for her like he had been able to so many times in the past. Robbie began to gristle so he took him into the living room and began to play on the floor with him starting with peek a boo. Robbie's favourite. After twenty minuets of playing, and laughing the phone rang.

He made sure there was nothing around the floor, ran to the hallway and picked up the phone. "That was quick Rosie…." returning to the living room and saw Robbie was fine. He sat opposite him.

"Danny? Is that you?" Rowan asked.

"Yeah, here Robbie say hello to uncle Rowan."

Danny put the phone to his ear and made faces at him so he giggled. "Say hello Robbie." Danny coaxed. Robbie must have heard a voice form the other side as he began to stare at the phone puzzled.

Danny chuckled. "You should see his face... you been ok Rowan?"

"Um yeah, look I just called to speak to Alice, she said she'd call back later."

"Sorry Rowan she's out right now, I'll tell her you called though."

"Tell her I'll call back tonight." Rowan corrected.

"I'd appreciate if you call back tomorrow, me and Alice are spending some time alone tonight."

"You two have made up?" his tone suspicious. "Coz you remember what happen on your date in London."

"Nothing is set in stone either way but it's looking good. Everything feels like it did from the beginning, the stuff she said and did…..I dunno it's just not important when she's looking at me, smiling like she used to."

"How did you get over it?"

"Again I don't know, I just went away, came home and saw her with the kids stood in the surgery and everything was different."

Meaning he hadn't really got over it Rowan surmised.

"We're gonna get over this somehow Rowan, me and Alice are going to be fine."

"I'll call back." Rowan told him curtly then disconnected. He had some things to do!

Meanwhile while Danny sat and played with Robbie the buzz Danny felt about Alice didn't wane, with every passing hour it grew!

(X)

Alice and Danny sat side by side watching a film, they had both agreed to watch a comedy, though neither were sure which one. Danny was anxious for he and Alice to snuggle up like that had in the past, he wasn't sure how to approach the subject. It seemed weird asking her, and just putting his arm around her wasn't really an option either, what if she freaked out. He had an idea and stifled a smile, if this didn't lessen the tension and lighten the mood here then nothing would, he was hoping it would coax a smile out of her that she would direct his way too. He shifted down into the back of his chair so he was slouching slightly, then he faked a large yawn and stretched as he did so, he watched her from the corner of his eye and saw her bit back a smile when she realised what he was doing. When she didn't stiffen or shift away from him at all he lowered his arm until it came to rest along her shoulders. As he did that he stared intently at the TV….not hearing a word that was said. He felt her start to giggle, then she turned her head. He couldn't restrain the smile that bloomed across his face as he heard her laugh.

"I can't believe you did something so cliché!"

"Well I wanted to put my arm around you and this seemed like the best idea at the time."

She made a confused face. "You mean instead of saying, hey Alice you wanna cuddle?" she enquired.

"What if you said no?"

"When have I ever said no to me and you snuggling up?"

He shrugged. "Anyway this works out all the time in the movies." he nodded moving closer. "See after the guy does this he usually leans in and …."

Alice met him halfway and they shared a sweet long kiss. "Alice." his murmured after tearing his lips from hers. He had wanted that kiss to last forever but knew it couldn't, he satisfied himself with resting his forehead on hers. "This is just like years ago when we first got together. Every time I kiss you it feels like the first time all over again."

Alice felt it too, the love she would always feel for him burning bright within her once again. Even though right now she wasn't feeling one hundred percent well and should be catching up on sleep nothing and no one would drag her form this spot, from him looking at her with such feeling. She and Danny were going to be ok, she knew it, she felt it. There was no where else she wanted to be.

"Danny I've decided that I'm staying in South Africa even if we don't work this out."

He cupped her cheek. "What about London?"

"I went to London to be close to Rowan. But the kids need you more than I need him.

"Alice…"

"Danny don't say anything about that, it's all I've been able to think about since this afternoon. Charlie and Robbie need you and after everything Rosie had been through she does too. Maybe in a few years when Robbie is older I may consider it if we don't work things out but right now they need to be close to you."

"What about you?" he whispered. "Do you need to be close to me too?"

She simply looked at him, when she saw this wasn't a trick question she stood up and took his hand. In the past he would never have asked this question, she decided to show him how she felt. Alice led him thought the house out of the front door and down the stairs into the dark night. They stood under the moon, she spun and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Ask me again." she murmured savouring the feel of his arms around her tight and warm.

"Do you need to be close to me?" his voice penetrating the hush.

"I'll always need you." she told him softly, projecting how much in her voice.

His voice shook when he replied. "I'll always need you too." and there they stood, locked together in the darkness, slowly falling in love all over again.

(X)

Alice awoke the following morning, she opened her eyes and felt like her head was splitting in two. Why wasn't she better? She thought. If anything she felt worse! She winced as she rolled from her side onto her back, placed her hand on her head and felt it was warm and sticky. As she exhaled she kicked the blanket from her body letting cool air try to chill it down. She wriggled getting comfortable and felt her arm brush a warm body. Smiling she turned her head and saw Danny lain beside her looking relaxed in sleep. He'd returned to their room last night. Both had decided to take things slowly so nothing had happened last night. Just the simple act of holding each other as they slept. Neither had said they loved each other either. If they carried on like this Alice had no worries that they would soon be back to normal. Now if she could just shake this flu that plagued her then she'd be perfect! Alice allowed her eyes to flutter closed until Danny murmured something softly, he then rolled and slung his arm across her stomach. He smiled slightly as his hold tightened. Alice felt a rush of emotion so intense it was a physical entity within her chest, she loved him so much…._so _much! In her mind there didn't exist a time when she wouldn't love him, he was stubborn and flawed but he was hers, and she was his.

"My Alice." he whispered eyes still closed. "Always my Alice."

"Always." she vowed clutching his hand tightly. There was a time when she'd thought they'd never be this close again, so to be doing it now was….unbelievable really. She had thought their relationship had been beyond repair, especially with the words they'd thrown at each other. When Danny settled and since her son was still asleep Alice decided that maybe she should try to catch up on some more sleep. Maybe if she rested some more she'd wake up feeling less rotten! Just as she was beginning to drift off she felt a sharp pain in her stomach, ten times worse than any cramp she had ever experienced. Alice clutched it and closed her eyes tightly, pressing her face into the bed and holding her breath trying not to disturb Danny. Sickness engulfed her and she rolled out of bed, threw open the door and ran from the room still holding her stomach tightly. She made it to the bathroom just in time before the contents of her stomach were expelled painfully. As the retching came to an end she closed her eyes and reached for the handle to flush it away completely…missing the red streaks which covered the white porcelain. Her hand found the flush and she pulled it. As the water swished she sank back to the floor resting her head back against the wall for a moment only to be woken by an insistent knocking a short while later. She shook her head drowsily.

"Must have fell asleep." she whispered to herself.

"C'mon lemme in! I'm busting." Charlie called.

Alice found it within her to smile, could see Charlie almost dancing outside the door. "I'll be out in a minute Charlie." flushed the loo again.

"Ok mum…..just hurry!"

Alice brushed her teeth and opened the door, found her daughter stood with her in her pink pyjama short and top on, hair sticking up all over her head wiggling. She frowned as she looked at her mum.

"You ok mum? You look well ill." her frown deepening.

Alice glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror and winced. She'd ignored the view when she'd been brushing her teeth. She was far paler than usual, her blue eyes dull and tired and face sunken. She looked far older than her own 37 years, more like 60! Maybe it was time she called the doctor…..the thought was wiped from her mind when Danny walked from their room looking all rumpled and adorable. He spotted her and smiled.

"Good morning." she whispered, voice escaping her.

He went to her. "It is now…." cupped her cheek and studied her, frowning. "Do you feel ok?"

"It's flu." she assured nodding.

"You sure?" he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "You look really ill."

"If I get worse you'll be the first one I tell."

"Good." kissed her lips gently.

Charlie smiled at them?" So?" this time she danced from excitement.

Danny nodded. "Yeah."

Charlie laughed and jumped up and down.

Caroline meanwhile took this time to waltz past them and into the bathroom.

"HEY!" Charlie hit the door, good mood instantly eradicated.

"You snooze you lose Charlotte!" Caroline called.

"I'm dying!" she called and hit the door again.

"Why don't you go to one of the huts Charlie."

She made a mutinous face the dashed from the house.

Danny was laughing….until Dupe appeared. The two men stared at each other. Danny took a step towards him.

"Danny..." Dupe said nochalantly about to blank him.

"You were right Dupe." Danny finally conceded.

Dupe stopped and made a face. "I was?…Of course I was!" he grinned and paused. "About what?"

"About needing space." he took Alice's hand and smiled at her. "If I hadn't got space then I wouldn't be feeling like this." he hesitated then pulled Dupe close and hugged him. "Thank you."

Dupe pulled back and smiled wryly. "It's fine just don't…."

"Oh I never plan on letting her go!" he assured.

"Actually I was telling you not to hug me!" Dupe deadpanned then chuckled. "I swear you both need me to keep you on track. I should charge you! I'm like a relationship guru." he considered a second. "You think I should write my own column. "Like love in the bush? Or ask Anders? I like that one!"

"What like Auntie Dupe?" Danny joked.

Dupe made face, "Just for that I AM billing you!"

"Well I'm very grateful." Alice told him sweetly.

"You're not that good though." Danny clapped Dupe on the back and headed to the kitchen chatting with him. It warmed Alice's heart to see them getting on so well again, she heard her phone ringing in the bedroom and headed there, inhaled sharply as the pain in her stomach returned bringing with it breathlessness. Her phone vibrated and buzzed on the table. Rowan again, she mused laying down on her bed connecting the call.

"So Alice, how are you and Danny doing?"

"What no hello?" she asked.

"Hello….well how are you two?"

"Well to put you out of your misery, yes we are back together. It's so …..like new but familiar you know? We're gonna be better than the past Rowan, stronger. I can't explain how good I feel at the moment. I love him so much and now we're gonna be alright. I was dreading having to deal with the divorce and living apart."

"So after it all you still love him?" his voice full of disbelief.

"There won't be a time I don't love him. Have you ever loved someone so much that no matter what they do they're still on your mind?"

"No." he breathed. "But everything that he said…..you said…"

"I know he has a list of faults a mile long, so do I. but we don't love each other because of those things, more like in spite of them. The good stuff outweighs the bad you know? If he says anything to me it isn't because he doesn't love me its because he does and he's hurting as much as me. None of that matters now though…we're getting back on track now."

Rowan sat quietly remembering something he said to Michael about Alice being nuts about Danny pretty much since the first time she saw him. You couldn't break something like that without leaving scars….big ones. And Alice would be the one open and bleeding.

"I have to go Alice!" he had to stop Michael!

"Ok I'll…..sp…bad…..li…." there was a high pitched whine and she winced.

"Alice…." the line started to crackle and become distorted. "Mic….arr….yours…."

"Rowan this line is bad, call back later ok?" she shouted before the line went dead.

Rowan was panicking trying to get in touch with Michael, if he succeeded Alice's life would be smashed into fragments.

**A/N UH OH! wonder whats going on! Will it derail the fragile daniceyness that is going on! Will Alice ever go to the doctors about what wrong with her? Will rax ever make up? and will Charlie ever get to the loo lol :) Keep reading to find out!  
><strong>**AND  
><strong>**I'm just wondering whether anyone picked up on Danny's obsession of it being like the first time, like he's trying to relive past glories or force himself into feeling like he did back then… without facing up to what happened and loving her for now rather than the past...just a thought**


	28. Loved up   or Break Down

The sun was shining high in the sky and the air was sweet with the scent of the coming summer. Danny revelled in this, surrounded by the people he loved on the veranda. Rosie and Max sat to the right discussing the girls. They had decided to send Ally and Gloria to an out of school club until the new term started and they figured out where they were going to live, they couldn't enrol them in a school yet. Caroline and Dupe were arguing good naturedly about when he was taking her out again and on a scale of one to ten how much he was going to show her up, Nomsa chimed in every so often. Danny sat beside Alice on a sofa, this time his arm was around her naturally without using the yawn stretch although Alice had to admit she was fond of it now. They had decided to take a rare day off and share it together. Liv was en route home from the UK and would be arriving in no time. Charlie and Robbie were sat by the fence playing with a ball, Robbie had mastered the skill of rolling it to Charlie and found it to be hilarious, his high pitched giggles filled the air, especially when the ball rolled past Charlie and she lunged for it.

"Robbie's too good for me!" she sang missing it again.

Danny hugged Alice closer and smiled never having felt so relaxed before. This is what home was about, and family. Just sitting around doing absolutely nothing. He turned and starting murmuring in Alice's ear.

"Rosie has said she'll take Robbie and Charlie with her when they go out for tea so we can disappear somewhere for an hour or two."

He heard a loud snort and saw Rosie making a disgusted face. "Look at you two making eyes at each other." grinned at Charlie. "I pity you, see I don't have to live with it anymore."

"I'm just glad I'm not living with you and Max! Now that was sickly!"

Danny laughed and high fived Charlie.

Rosie blushed and Max grinned, took her hand for a second and squeezed it. Rosie looked at Max, saw him looking so happy and at home and her breath caught for a second.

"Now look who's making eyes." Danny told her lazily.

Rosie cleared her throat and said, "About Gloria…" to Max.

Max winked at Danny who nodded and silently said, 'Go for it!'

Danny returned to whispering to Alice. "I think we both have stuff to say and it'll be more fitting to say it in the place we first said it….if you know what I mean?"

"The copy?" she looked up at him.

He nodded slowly.

"When do we get away?" she was eager to say this and get back to their normal routine, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened and by saying it at the copy their new beginning would be solidified.

"In a little bit." kissed her lower lip gently. "Then its you, me and our copy."

They carried on whispering heads close, Rosie kept glancing at them smiling. She had never seen her dad act like this before, it was like he and Alice were new, almost like teenagers with their first love. A car pulled up.

"Someone better warn Liv, dad and Alice are….."

Rosie frowned when Liv didn't climb from the taxi….a man did….Michael. Danny and Alice looked up. Alice paled. Danny went from loved up to enraged in seconds. Alice glanced at him and saw his facing was twitching as he stared at Michael.

"Hello Alice." Michael winked at her. "Charlotte."

Charlotte glared at him and crossed her arms, she saw how Danny reacted to him and that made her hate him more. Michael ignored Charlotte's stance and looked at Danny, smirked at him cockily. It was then Danny knew that Micheal was aware that he'd been told about Alice's infidelity. Rage began to burn hotter.

"Have you missed me?" Michael asked Alice and Charlie.

"NO!" Charlie yelled.

"Who's he?" Rosie whispered to her dad.

"Oh sorry forgive my bad manners, let me introduce myself since Alice has decided to be quiet, I'm Michael Baxter."

Dupe's face darkened, he recognised the name. "I'm giving you ten seconds…" Dupe began.

"Charlottes dad." Michael carried on dismissing Dupe mid sentence.

"I'm her dad!" Danny fumed, realising he was on the verge of losing control and crossed his arms tightly.

"I find that hard considering I am her dad, aren't I Alice." again another cocky condescending smirk.

Alice covered her eyes with her hand feeling like her world was beginning to slowly disintegrate.

"Did you know he was coming?" Danny hissed at her.

Her head snapped up. "No, how could I?"

"Well how on earth did he just show up! You must have told him how to get it its not like its on a main road!"

"Danny I…."

"Don't deny it Alice, you have, coz if you hadn't he wouldn't be here!"

"I'm actually here to visit Charlie." Micheal nodded good naturedly. "Wondered if Alice was missing me too." wiggled his eyebrows leaving no uncertainty as to the meaning.

Danny heard that said in such a provocative way and ran down the stairs, the last of his control evaporating. Within seconds everyone seemed to be moving at once. Caroline picked up Robbie and grabbed Charlottes arm and dragged her inside the house. Max lunged for Danny trying to halt him from getting at Michael, he missed and ended up sprawled on the floor. Dupe walked inside the house with purpose, Rosie sat and watched it in shock and Alice's mouth hung open a loud ringing in her ears. She hadn't seen this side of Danny before hadn't even known it existed!

Danny meanwhile had reached his target and swung a tight fist. It connected with the side of Michaels jaw catching him off guard . He fell back against the veranda, Danny saw him about to slump to the floor, grabbed his collar, dragged him back up and hit him again - harder. Max saw what was happening and took Rosie inside, she was watching her dad with large frightened eyes. Alice came to life and ran towards Danny trying to pull him away before he did some serious damage. She grabbed his arm but he pushed her away forcefully.

"Get away from me!" he raged. "Tell them what you did Alice!" he raged. "Tell them how you cheated on me! YOU did this!" she flew sideways from his shove and skidded across the floor.

Charlie appeared at the door and moved towards him. "Don't do this Danny please! Just walk away!"

Danny was bending down to pick Michael up again, his focus on inflicting the most amount of pain possible. "DAD!" penetrated his haze.

"Charlie." Michael said groggily.

Danny's intensity returned at the reminder that Charlie wasn't his child.

"Not you!" Charlie snapped at Michael. "Dad." she repeated softer than before than put her hand on Danny's arm. "Please just come with me, his not worth this." she whispered. "Come with your daughter, you're my dad not him and my dad doesn't do stuff like this, he isn't capable of it!" she pleaded. He looked at her little face and she looked just like she did when he first met her. He took a step back Charlie smiled at him gratefully.

Michael was leaning back against the veranda, his eye was cut. Charlie took Danny's hand and held it tightly. "The surgery is calling c'mon the lion cub needs checked." then she glared at Michael. "You are nothing to me, NOTHING! I don't want to hear or see you again, my dad is right here you are no one!" with that she walked away from the veranda and house holding Danny's hand.

Alice sat watching as her daughter ad Danny left. Danny acted fine but she could tell by how stiff his back was that anger still flowed.

Seconds later Rosie was shrieking as she ran from the house. "DAD! You have to stop Dupe!"

Dupe walked out Max trying to stop him, he held a rifle.

Rosie ran to her dad. "Stop him dad! He has a gun, you need to stop him!"

"I don't care if Dupe shoots him Rosie, he deserves it!" and he turned his back.

This was going too far and no one could seem to stop the events from unravelling, and it was about to get worse!

"But Dad…."

Danny's head jerked back to look his Rosie. "Alice cheated on me with him Rosie so don't ask me to help him!" he hissed.

Charlie's eyes widened.

"Alice did what?" Rosie squeaked.

"Mum cheated?" Charlie whispered in disbelief.

Rosie's eyes narrowed, she spun and headed towards Alice. Max saw her and left Dupe to this time stop Rosie. She had reached Alice and was about to swing for her when Max rugby tackled her to the ground.

Danny started to walk towards the surgery again when a car pulled up and Liv climbed out in shorts, her hair clipped up. "Anybody missed me…" she surveyed the chaos around her, mouth open. Max was wrestling to keep an irate Rosie back. Pleading with her to calm down. Charlie was beside Rosie telling her what she planned on doing if she laid one finger on her mother. Nomsa stood at the door shielding the baby looking around worriedly. Caroline had her hands on Dupes shoulders keeping him back and an unknown man was bloody on the floor. Alice was sat on the floor her head in her hands, she saw she was slowly shaking it from side to side, almost like she couldn't believe this was happening. Rosie got free and dived on Alice, soon they were rolling on the floor. Charlie jumped on Rosie's back. Liv stomped over to Dupe, took the gun from him aimed it high and fired into the air.

Everyone froze. Rosie had a handful of Alice's collar fist raised, Charlie was pulling Rosie's hair, Caroline still had Dupe by the shoulders. Max walked over and picked Rosie up, moved her clear of Alice. Charlie stood glaring at her, almost standing guard.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Liv declared.

"Charlie go to the surgery to Danny." Alice murmured and urged her away.

She sent a death glare Rosie's way then began to walk towards the surgery.

Rosie took a step towards Alice and Charlie stopped and spun to watch. Rosie narrowed her eyes, voice cold. "You're not family, get out of here!" and Rosie then allowed Max to lead her away.

Caroline released Dupe. "Rosie…."

As soon as Dupe was free he ran to Liv, took the gun and trained it on Michael. His eyes determined.

"Tell me why I should let you leave without shooting you!" he hissed darkly.

Michael's eyes bugged.

"Who's he?" Liv asked.

Alice got up. "Liv go to Nomsa and take Robbie inside shut the door!" and Alice pushed her towards the house. Looked and saw Charlie watching. "CHARLIE SURGERY NOW!" she yelled.

Charlie turned and ran down to the surgery.

"Dupe calm down." she put her hand on his arm. "Put the gun down please."

"Alice you know you want me to shoot him!" he growled.

It was Alice, Caroline, Dupe, Michael alone here. The taxi man watched transfixed. Caroline was in pieces, pale and scared. That left Alice alone to fix this! "No Dupe I don't want you to shoot him, I want you to calm down and think about what your about to do!"

"I am thinking Alice, I'm thinking about you and Danny!" his face more focused now.

She put her face on his shoulder then looked at him. "I'm equally at fault here, if you shoot him then you may as well shoot me too, are you gonna do that Dupe? You gonna shoot me as well?"

"Alice…." he whispered.

She took a step back and looked at him. "Go on then." she told him. He scowled and she knew Michael was safe she headed towards the house. As she did she closed her eyes knowing what she had to do. The time had come to leave the only real home she could remember.

Dupe lowered his gun, Michael stood up wincing.

"I don't know what your game is but if I see you here again then I won't hesitate to shoot you. You heard Charlotte, she had her dad now the time has come to sign over your parental rights and crawl back into the woodwork and you better hope Danny and Alice can get past this, it was happening before you showed up! If they divorce and tear this family to pieces then I might find you and finish what Danny started!"

Michaels eyes widened and he ran to the taxi Liv had once occupied and dived in. Dupe lifted the cases from the back and it sped off.

Dupe exhaled. This family was mad but there was no way he was letting some little nobody do anything to break it! There were a million and one things to sort, not to mention talking to Trevanion and making sure Alice was ok, first thing though was Rosie, to do that to Alice was so out of character for her so something was obviously wrong. He walked down to the luxury lodge and saw her sat staring into the bush.

"Hey Rosie."

She didn't look at him, just concentrated on something only she could see in the distance.

He walked up the stairs. "You want to talk about what happened, how you reacted."

"No." she replied curtly.

Dupe sat down beside her and put his arm around her, she shrugged it off and turned away from him. "Rosie c'mon this is me you're talking to, you can tell me anything." he coaxed softly.

"Why'd she cheat Dupe?" her voice a hiss, fists clenched tightly.

"You don't know the whole story, maybe you should talk to her."

"Why? So she can give me whole load of bull shit excuses?" she stomped her foot heart pounding.

"No, but if you know the whole story you may not be as quick to judge."

"I know enough, I know that no matter what the circumstances dad wouldn't cheat on her! Would he?" she challenged.

"Maybe your dad would, or maybe not, you never know do you?"

"Under any circumstances….." Rosie began.

"Under normal circumstances Alice wouldn't cheat on your dad, but this isn't normal Rosie. They had major problems in London."

"What? So she went and made it worse by cheating? With him of ALL people, talking about rubbing my dads face in it!" she scowled. "Seriously Dupe if she was here right now…."

"You'd apologise!" he told her coldly. "You're supposed to be an adult now Rosie, a mother yourself. Your little sister saw you hitting her mother. Do you have any idea how much that must have scared her?"

"Scared her?" Rosie gasped. "She got stuck into me Dupe, if she pulled any harder I don't think I'd have any hair left!" she rubbed the crown of her head. "She wasn't scared, not at all!"

"She was scared you were gonna hurt her mum, she was protecting her. Tell me if situations were reversed you wouldn't have done the same!"

Rosie exhaled. "Ok yes I could have handled it better and I didn't want to scare Charlotte or to make her have to protect Alice but still Dupe, cheating!"

"No matter what I say or whatever Alice says you will always take Danny's side because he is your dad."

She stood up. "This isn't about taking sides ok!" her hands gesturing angrily. "This is about taking a stupid reckless chance with your marriage! Its about breaking trust! This is about right and wrong! Cheating destroys marriages!" her chest heaving.

He patted the seat gesturing her to sit down. "I'm not disputing that. But people can work past it if they love each other enough."

"Yeah well some people can't! Even if they do love each other more than anything else in the world!"

"And you know this from experience?" Dupe asked softly.

Rosie closed her eyes and her arms fell limply to her sides. When they opened and looked at him they were pain filled. Silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity. She put her head in her hands. "In the dying months….and I say dying as a literal term…..of my marriage Max and I accused each other of cheating repeatedly on a daily basis, if we even spoke it was only to accuse or berate the other. There was this one day, some daft little argument what I can't even remember really, I went too far. We did the cheating allegations then Max finally did what he'd been threatening to for weeks, he went to walk out and I said…." she exhaled and her voice cracked. "….I said he finally got what he wanted, that he'd been looking for a reason to leave for months so he could go and be with his new girlfriend….his pregnant girlfriend. I said he'd planned this for ages and he was happy that our baby wasn't here so he had no ties to me."

Dupe knew that pregnancy and babies were a soft spot for both of them, they had never really got over their loss, and saying that to Max was a low blow intended to wound him deeply and it would have. Of that Dupe had no doubt.

"Oh Rosie…" he whispered hugging her as she cried. She pulled back her eyes swimming with tears. "I don't even know why I said it, I certainly didn't mean it he was just hurting me so much by leaving and he didn't look bothered. I just needed to hit out and hurt him to see that I wasn't the only one dying inside. He walked out and that was it, we were over. The death of my marriage was due to cheating Dupe, maybe not literally but the allegations were enough. Thing is, stuff was hard but I know in my heart that he never cheated on me and I didn't cheat on him either."

Max stood there holding the girls hands. "Do you mean that?" he whispered face troubled.

Dupe stood up knowing this was a chat the two of them had to have alone. He kissed the top of Rosie's head then left.

They stared waiting for the other to make the first move. "We'll talk later Max, when the girls are in bed." she finally told him flatly.

He nodded, neither looked at each other but understood the importance of the coming conversation.

**A/N Ohhhh and this chapter started off so well too….. then it all just fell apart everyone involved :/  
>Will danice survive? Will rax talk? Will Michael show his slimy face again? And will everyone make up, i.e. Rosie and Charlie…..or will something else happen that will blast this all into fragments? Stay tuned x<strong>


	29. You Shouldn't Ignore That

Alice was stood in hers and Danny's room packing her suitcase for the final time, this was it. The window was open and filled the room with a slight breeze, it helped marginally with the headache that was throbbing in her temples. Caroline had taken Liv, Robbie and Charlie out while everyone cooled off,giving her time to pac. Her wardrobe doors were wide open as she pulled the things she had left last time off the hangers. This was the last thing in the world she wanted to do but it was the only option they had without hating each other. She wasn't stupid, or masochistic either. All she and Danny would continue to do was hurt each other, the stuff with Michael wasn't going to leave. It would be a dark shroud coming between them destroying the easy relationship they one had. Happy times would never be the same, it would just linger until it destroyed them and she genuinely didn't want that. Danny was her one, her soul mate and being apart and friends was better than hating him. Everything that had in the past, as perfect as it had been was all gone. All they could do now was salvage what was left and hopefully find a way to stay cordial, for the kids sake at least. The door squeaked open, she didn't have to look to see who it was, it was Danny. She folded a white dress, one he loved her in coincidentally. She glanced at him and saw he was watching her fold it. She placed it inside carefully.

"I had a feeling you'd be doing this." he murmured closed the door as he entered. "I'm sorry for pushing you, I was…." he exhaled. "Well you know how angry I was but there's still no excuse, it was out of order." there wasn't any emotion in his tone, almost like a tired resignation.

She didn't reply, simply shrugged and carried on packing. Returned to the wardrobe and took the things off the top shelf. She didn't know why she hadn't told him to leave yet, she didn't want apologies she just wanted to be left alone so her heart could break, that she didn't want an audience for.

He watched her as she placed item after item in her case, her face becoming more and more pained as time passed. "Neither of us know what to do. Do we?" he sighed and sat on a chair by the bed. "It's hard when the problem and the solution are the same thing."

She looked at him frowning in confusion.

"It's love. Love is why this hurts so damn much! The problem is we can't live without the other because we love each other. The solution is getting through this because of the love that exists between us. It's never as easy as black and white huh?"

Did he really have to do this? This was hard enough!

"Can I be really honest with you for a second?" he asked softly.

"Shoot." not that she wanted to hear this but if it made him feel better and gave him closure than she'd give him this, it was the least she could do.

"I hate that I love you this much. I hate that when I'm close to you I can barely breathe! I hate how my heart pounds and my head spins when all you do is smile at me. And I hate that after everything that has been said and done all I want is…." he trailed off and shook his head.

"What do you want?"

"Doesn't matter." he muttered looking out of the window at the mountain's in the distance.

"It does."

He exhaled. "I just want to be close to you again, like we were in the past….but that will never happen because all we do is hurt each other. In my heart being without you is never ending pain, but being with you hurts too. I can't win. I can't live with you or without you." he looked at her. "Do you feel like this too or is it just me?"

"You're not alone in that." she admitted. "Am we can't feel like this anymore so I'm taking the decision out of your hands. This is your home and won't ever leave, and I know you'll never send me away either so I'm leaving of my own accord." she couldn't stay.

He leaned forward on his chair. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to London until I can sort other arrangements, to give myself time to clear my head, get a house and things sorted over here, also to spend some time with Rowan before I come back for good."

He knew what she really meant by clear her head, what she wanted was time to change her mind to stay over there! What he was thinking must have shown in his face as she replied to his silent statement.

"You can't live like this Danny."

"Are you going back to him?" not an ounce of anger in his tone, he sounded like he'd given up.

"How can you ask me that? YOU'RE the one I love not him!" her passion for how much she felt leaked through. She shook her head and continued packing.

"If you love me then why aren't you staying?" he was on his feet now, couldn't bring himself to go to her, touch her.

"Coz this is never gonna work Danny. I can see what it's doing to you and I don't want to end up hating myself for doing it and resenting you for convincing me to stay and that is all that will happen!" she rubbed her head her headache burning. "Look I know you said that if you moved back here Charlie could live with you but I want her with me."

He opened his mouth. "I'm her…."

She halted his vehement declaration that he was her dad. "You are her dad in every way that counts but I'm her mum and she belongs with me!"

"Robbie?" he questioned.

"He is going with me too, I want them together."

He exhaled. "I want them with me until you are settled over here."

"Danny…."

"No it's not fair, the kids will be living with you full time so why can't they stay with me until your settled….."

"I don't want Robbie having to adapt to different routines."

"….Or you aren't planning on coming back!" he spat. "You're trying to take them away from me, especially Robbie! He is MY son Alice, not his and HE isn't raising him! Take them away and I'll do everything I can to make sure I get both of them full time, I'm making it easy now Alice but force me to and I can make life very difficult!" he warned angrily.

She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "Are you threatening me?" she didn't look at all concerned. She had already heard this in London and knew how to handle it now.

"Alice I don't….."

"Try it Danny!" She warned. "Try and take them away from me and see what happens, see you're not the only one who can play that card!" then she walked from the room and down the hallway.

Danny closed his eyes as once again them talking had broken down into arguing and point scoring using the kids once again. What happened to them? They would never have resorted to this in the past so why now? Probably because they were both hurting too much to be able to see things clearly and think rationally. He had tried to keep things nice but he only ended up losing his temper no matter what they spoke about. He'd give her a little time then try again, this couldn't be ignored. It was too important. He wanted both of them on the same page when it came to the kids. Working together instead of against each other.

Alice meanwhile stood in the kitchen with a bottle of paracetamol in her hand. She had already taken two tablets a little while ago but they weren't working so she downed another three. Shook her head as they went down. She then settled on a seat waiting for them to take effect. Alice rested her head on her hand fighting the fatigue that was weighing down heavy on her. Danny would be returning soon for round 2 and she couldn't be bothered to fight with him, if she was being honest she barely had the energy to draw her next breath! As seconds ticked by she was slowly getting hotter, it seemed the fever she had been fighting the last few days was finally starting to build, delirium would be a welcome alternative to arguing with her husband. She felt the familiar tickle in her throat and tried to clear it, this cough too was doing her head in! she had bursts of cough then no cough, cough then no cough, it was dry and absolutely pointless! She heard a door open a short while later and footsteps approach.

"Alice come on we need to talk about this, we'll be civil." he promised. "If it heats up I'll walk away."

"Not now Danny, I have a really bad headache." her entire head felt like someone was hitting it repeatedly with a sledgehammer, she couldn't take any more tablets and she was sorely tempted! She found herself coughing winced when her chest hurt.

"Alice…."

"Danny I said not now!" wrapping her arms around her head which was still rested on the table.

Danny thought she was trying to hide from him. "Ignoring this won't make it go away!"

She felt a strange feeling within her chest and stood up. Her head pounded harder. "Danny I'm not ignoring this." Inhaled deeply, audibly.

"Well I think you are!"

Danny's voice was varying in volume as he said, one minute he was muffled then at the end he boomed. Without warning he started to swim in and out of focus, she blinked and colours surrounded him she blinked more trying to shift them. She shook her head. "I'm not." inhaled sharply…then again…another deep breath in followed. Soon she was panting audibly. She frowned, eyes worried.

"This is just…..Alice?" he saw her chest heaving and she started to sway from side to side. Her hand rushed to her chest and she winced bending double.

"Alice ? What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Can't….breathe!" she panted louder.

"Is this a panic attack?" she had never had one in the past then again they hadn't been like this before either so anything was possible. He moved her so she wasn't bent and stood her straighter so her lungs could inflate fully. "Deep breaths," he coaxed. "Slow breaths."

She shook her head, still breathing rapidly. Without warning she yanked herself away from him, ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. Danny went and knocked on the door. "Alice?"

"Just a ….virus." she called breathlessly. "Thought I …..was going to…..throw up….didn't!"

"Maybe I should take you to hospital." he called.

She opened the door still panting. "No need."

He cupped her cheek instinctively. "Honey you look terrible." the endearment slipped out too.

Alice stared into his concerned face. "I just need bed." focused herself to she didn't need to pant to say it.

"Ali…."

She gasped as a sudden heat so intense flooded her system.

Danny put his hand on her forehead. "Alice you're burning up.

She fell towards him. "I don't feel well." she whispered eyes glassy. "Danny….." he held her still, once again she pulled from him and stumbled into the bathroom. He winced when he heard her retching.

"Alice…." he knocked then walked in and saw her frowning at her hand. It was covered in thick crimson blood. She blinked like she didn't know what it was….then slid sideways to the floor.

**A/N this is bad...really really bad! Any clues as to what it is? if anyone can guess i may give you a sneak peak to a later chapter!  
>anyway is this illness fatal or will alice make a full recovery? will she remeber what has happened the past few weeks or forget? time will tell! reviews are golden x<strong>


	30. Open Your Eyes

**A/N don't usually do this but this song always makes me think of this chapter, its by Needtobreathe called Keep your eyes open. (the first verse and chorus make me think of Alice planning to leave but those bits specifically for this chapter)**

_Don't let the night become the day  
>Don't take the darkness to the grave<br>I know pain is just a place  
>The will has been broken<br>Don't let the fear become the hate  
>Don't take the sadness to the grave<br>I know the fight is on the way  
>When the sides have been chosen<em>

_Tell me you're strong, tell me you see  
>I need to hear it, can you promise me to<br>Keep your eyes open, my love_

(X)

"ALICE!" Danny shrieked. He charged towards her and saw her blood covered the floor, the once white porcelain of the toilet was also a pale red, evidence of how ill she was. There was a lot of blood…too much for it to be a simple virus….it probably wasn't even a virus! He scooped her up ready to take to hospital. He ran from the house and saw Dupe approaching, he spotted Alice in Danny's arms, hands and face sprayed with blood, sprinted to Danny and grabbed him by the collar.

"What have you done?"

"She was fine one minute and the next she ran to the bathroom, she couldn't breathe! She vomited blood then passed out!" Danny babbled then pushed Dupe out of the way. "I can't be wasting time like this!" he snapped.

"Let me!" Dupe told him knowing that Danny hadn't caused this and he certainly wasn't in any condition to drive. While Dupe was collecting the car Danny sat on the stairs with Alice in his arms trying to calm himself down and wake her up simultaneously. "Alice." he coaxed softly caressing her forehead. He frowned when she felt hotter than before. "Alice, open your eyes."

He knew what happened, he told himself. She had passed out due to the heat and the blood, well that was something not dangerous! It was all the heat, she had only been back a few days what worked that fast? Dupe rounded the corner and the car stopped by his side. Danny climbed in the back with Alice, her head lay limply across his lap. As soon as they were moving she groaned and clutched her stomach. Danny continued to caress her forehead. "Alice you're gonna be fine, I promise you're gonna be fine!" he told her frantically.

She was still breathing erratically, her head lolled to the side and she blinked.

"Where has she been recently?" Dupe asked. If Danny was thinking clearly he'd have a clue about what this was, especially since Sarah…

"I dunno." he lowered his voice. "Alice, where have you been recently honey?"

She closed her eyes. "All over….different….places." she closed her eyes face pain filled. "Hurts….to…breathe!"

"We'll be at hospital soon ok." Danny assured.

"Has she been to Souters game reserve?" Dupe asked.

Alice expelled a large breath. "Yeah….days…..ago…." closed her eyes. "...Danny!"

Dupe swore and pressed harder on the accelerator.

"I'm here Alice." he kissed her forehead gently. "I'm not going anywhere ok." held her hand tightly.

"Alice did you operate?" Dupe asked.

She was quiet.

"ALICE!" he yelled. "This is important did you operate on any animal?"

"Yeah." she coughed and inhaled sharply.

Fear filled Dupe's body. Oh God this was serious….beyond serious. His chest began to shudder and his eyes grew moist, he continued driving forcing the tears away.

"Charlie….Robbie…." Alice moaned. "Home….Evan…. too young."

"Evan?" Danny whispered. "Alice Evan hasn't lived there in years."

She shook her head and blinked tiredly. "He…..does…kids…..Danny….." she closed her eyes.

"They're fine. Caroline took them all out remember?" it was because of the arguing he neglected to add.

Dupe was glancing back sporadically, looking at Alice, she was getting paler, her lips almost blue. He saw Danny's heavy breathing and anxious expression. He had a right to be anxious! When he looked closer he spotted tears in Danny's eyes which made him well up again. He wished he could stop this car and bawl his eyes out, and he wasn't that type of man! Alice had a massive fight on her hands and no one could help her!

Alice groaned loudly and tried to roll into the foetal position. She had her arms wrapped around her chest clutching it so tightly it looked like she was trying to crush her ribs. "Too tight" she moaned fighting with an invisible weight.

Danny rubbed his eyes. "Alice there's nothing there!" he told her his hand moving across her cheek slowly. She started shivering suddenly. "Cold….cold…." she breathed hard teeth chattering. She was actually burning up! Her breathing was shallow and she was coated in sweat….it hit him then what these were symptoms of…

"Dupe hurry up this looks like shock!" he shouted staring at Alice. She was clearly out of it, not understanding a lot of what he was saying.

Shock, Dupe thought it was….. "Is shock bad?"

"Can something called shock possibly be good?" Danny's voice raised.

Alice's eyes were half closed and she was shaking. "Danny….this…."

"You'll be fine!" he kissed her head once again. "In a few hours time we'll be at home bathing Robbie. Charlotte playing her music far too loud."

She smiled. "She…does….that…." her eyes rolled back.

"Then…." Danny carried on. "When they are asleep we'll put a film on and snuggle up like we used to, like we did the other day."Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, she was blinking tiredly. Her breathing get more short and jerky.

"When we get home there'll be no mention about anything except how much we love each other…." his voice breaking, he bowed his head and it came to rest upon hers. "I love you Alice." he promised his tears falling on her face. "I love you, you have to be ok." over and over he repeated that he loved her, like that simple statement was enough to make her better

Alice in reply coughed loudly, blood gargled from her throat and trickled down her chin. He inhaled sharply, tears falling faster. "C'mon Dupe why is this taking so long!" he pleaded.

He saw Alice began to close her eyes. "Alice keep your eyes open for me, I know you can I know your strong enough! He told her fiercely. Alternating between extreme sadness and the stubborn need to keep her here

Every breath she took sounded forced, like it took everything inside her to pull the air in, she wheezed loudly.

"Talk to me Alice. Hey what about our Robbie huh? He's nearly one. Do you think we should have a party or something?" he asked.

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry." she gasped. "So….sorry…"

"Alice I don't….."

"I didn't want to hurt you…. came out rushed.

She inhaled sharply.

He shook his head. "NO Alice don't do this!"

She coughed and even more blood erupted from her throat.

"DUPE!" Danny screamed.

The wheels shrieked as they came to a stop.

"We're here!" and Dupe was out of the car and opening the door for Danny in seconds. Alice just lay limply in his arms head to one side. Danny was running inside. Dupe had went on ahead. A stretcher appeared and Alice was lain down. Medical jargon was thrown back and forth an oxygen mask was placed over Alice's face she batted at it.

"It's ok now Mrs Trevanion." A doctor told her soothingly.

More observations were spoken and Danny almost lost it when he head three words.

"Possible Anthrax."

Danny blacked out for a second.

"Cases in the area….."

"SOMEONE CALL THE THORACIC SURGEON!" another doctor demanded.

Anthrax? He thought. Cases? Alice? "ANTHRAX!" Danny charged forward.

Dupe stood in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders. Pushed him from the building into the car park. He tried to go back inside but Dupe halted him. "Calm down Danny!"

"Anthrax! How did she get Anthrax Dupe!" Danny paced. "She was in shock Dupe, shock is second stage!"

"Danny calm down!" Dupe repeated. "Calm? I can't calm down. My wife has Anthrax poisoning…." he gasped and held his head "This kills Dupe!" his face was tortured, voice breaking on a whisper. "How did this happen?"

"Danny she was doing everything by herself. The surgery and the kids. I was at Mara tracking, she must have went to Souters game reserve. She didn't know they were under quarantine and under no circumstances were you to operate. She must have been exposed to an animal which was infected."

She hadn't kept her jabs up to date since being pregnant and out of the area, Danny thought heart breaking. "Did you know about the outbreak?"

Dupe nodded. "Yes."

"The why didn't you tell her!" he screamed whole body shaking.

"I wasn't there Danny. We both had a lot on our mind! She was alone Danny, I wouldn't have sent her somewhere I thought she was gonna get hurt!"

"When was this?" he asked coldly.

"I think it was the afternoon after you left, it was hectic that day and I was called away to Mara."

Danny covered his face, this was his fault, if he'd been there then maybe she wouldn't have been there, or he could have warned her. She would have known something was really wrong too, she'd been distracted because of everything. Sickness rose in his stomach.

"Danny don't beat yourself up. We were all too preoccupied with our own stuff to know she was ill, never mind that she was steadily getting worse." Dupe shook his head. All this could have been avoided, now someone he loved like a daughter was fighting for her life and no one knew if this was a fight she could win, they could only pray. This was tearing him apart so he couldn't imagine how Danny was feeling.

"I left her there so she'd have the family around to help and all of you let her down!" Danny closed his eyes and bent double in physical pain.

Dupe placed his hand on his shoulder, sending him support.

Danny was still bent double arms wrapped around his stomach. "What am I going to do without her Dupe?" he whispered hoarse. "I need her." was torn from within his soul.

"We'll just go in and see what the doctors say."

Danny straightened up and Dupe clapped him on the arm. The devastation on Danny's face was raw.

"She can't die Dupe." he choked. "She just can't!" he then turned and started to walk towards the hospital, heart pounding hard with every step he took, the smell of the hospital assaulted his senses as he walked in. Everything was amplified, the sound of his feet slapping the floor, the acrid smell of antiseptic and fear, the air whooshing past his face, his body was sensitised.

When they told the nurse who they were they were ushered into a private room. Doctor surrounded a bed, he saw Alice lying there and his breath expelled in a rush. Alice was there in body only, she was limp, pale and gaunt her soul disappeared. The blue eyes which sparkled, deep cobalt were closed, her chest was shuddering, still having trouble breathing even with the oxygen mask on. The only way he even knew she was still alive was the monitor that beeped by her side steadily. She had drips connected to both arms pumping different fluid into her body, a doctor with a large syringe was pushing some sort of clear fluid into her. This wasn't his Alice, the woman he loved. He began to back slowly out of the room. This was too hard to take. This wasn't real, it couldn't be!

"Danny…." Dupe started.

He ran from the room and halted outside the doorway. "I can't see this Dupe, she's ….she's…." he swallowed hard faced the wall opposite her door folded his arms and rested his head on them. It didn't chase the image from his brain. Alice limp, all the life erased from her prone body. He fisted his hands and clenched his jaw to stop from screaming in agony. This was too much, just over an hour ago they have been sat on a chair laughing and joking now she couldn't breathe? How did that just happen?

"You need to get in there Danny, Alice needs you!" Dupe said from behind him.

"I can't Dupe, she looks so….." his face still obscured.

Dupe didn't allow him to think of a reason not to go in, just jumped straight in there. "It doesn't matter what she looks like! She's still your wife!"

"It's destroying me seeing her like that!" he raised his eyes heavenward.

"Be strong Danny, she may be unconcious but if your there she'll know it, she'll feel you."

Danny spun and looked at him. "I don't feel her though Dupe!" he said voice shaking. "What if I've already lost her? You heard her in the car, she was saying goodbye!" he covered his mouth with his hand barely able to comprehend what was happening.

"Your fear is blocking her, you know how strong she is, how stubborn! She'll get through this like she always does."

"It's Anthrax Dupe!" had to put his hands on Dupe shoulder to steady himself when the thought of Alice gone almost sent him to his knees. "It kills, I'm gonna lose her Dupe, I can't watch that!" he tried to leave when Dupe grabbed his arms and looked him in the eye. "Go in there now Danny, she needs you."

"No…."

"There isn't a choice here!" Dupe's voice was raised. "Your wife is in there and at this moment in time she is still alive and your out here with me while you should be with her!"

"Could you Dupe?" he pulled from Dupe's hold and pointed to the room. "If it was Caroline lying in there, could you walk in that room knowing how much pain she was in, knowing she can't breathe and sit by her side telling her she was going to be ok, pretending that you are ok while actually your dying inside!"

Dupe didn't flinch, just looked at him. "No." he admitted softly. "But you aren't me." he said simply. "And you know that if that was you, no matter how much it killed her she'd be in there holding your hand, even if she was dying inside!"

Danny closed his eyes, shook his head and exhaled then before he could change his mind he walked into the room. Dupe followed and closed the door, stood by it incase Danny tried to leave again.

Danny meanwhile found that most of the doctors had left, just two stood talking in low tones at the foot of Alice's bed. Danny went to her side and sat down. He saw a nurse prepping a ventilator. He glanced at Dupe who put his hand on the door and shook his head. His gaze returned to Alice, she lay completely still, so unlike her. Even asleep she would toss and turn, she'd been hell to sleep with at first. To be honest he hadn't got a full nights sleep for the first month, then he got used to it. Now if she wasn't tossing and turning he found it hard to settle properly, funny how quickly life adapted…..how was he gonna adapt without her?

"Alice." he took her hand and squeezed it. "Can you hear me?"

The monitor beeped monotonously. He closed his eyes, found himself imagining what she'd tell him if she was awake.

"_Alice….."_

_She turned her head and he saw her eyes were open a crack. "Danny?"_

_He sat up straighter and his hand found hers. "Alice?"_

_She tried to smile, he felt his eyes fill._

"_I know….." she coughed. "It's...Anthrax."_

_Trust her to tell him straight, no messing around. _"_You're gonna get better!" he told her stubbornly._

"_They've booked ….surgery…."_

_He exhaled and pressed a kiss to her hand._

"_You need to….go home….the kids…."_

"_You….."_

_She cut him off. "They are…..more important!" he inhaled after coughing fiercely. "Don't tell…..Charlie….about this!"_

_He dropped his head to the bed. "Promise me you'll fight this Alice. Promise me you won't leave!"_

_She nodded._

"_You're strong enough, stronger than anyone else I know!" he swallowed and looked at her. "You know I love you don't you?"_

_She looked in his eyes staring intently, almost studying him to see if he was lying, then nodded, it was more of a jerk actually._

"_So come home to me and we'll fix us, be better than before." kissed her hand. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me."_

"It's time to get her ready for surgery." a nurse murmured pulling him back to reality.

Danny kissed his wifes hand. "Stay strong Alice. I'll be waiting, I love you."

He took a step back and she was wheeled from the room, he closed his eyes tightly praying this wasn't the last time he saw her alive. A doctor stayed behind to speak to him.

"Are you Mrs Trevanion husband?"

Danny nodded.

"I'll just outline what happens next. As you may already know your wife has Respiratory Anthrax. Unfortunately for us this is one of the most vicious and dangerous kinds she could have contracted. It decimates the body. Her entire chest cavity has filled with blood due to her cells dying. We are going to drain it. After that he are going to continue pushing antibiotics into her and pray this works. We'll know more after the surgery."

"Ok." Danny breathed. "Will she regain consciousness after the surgery? Be ok?"

"That depends on the severity of her illness. We are hopeful…."

A doctor saying hopeful was never good!

"…..that she will make a full recovery."

Danny nodded quickly and swallowed.

"Why don't you go to the relatives room, when her surgery is finished a nurse will inform you."

"Thanks." Danny croaked and practically ran from the room, almost ploughing Dupe down as he barged past.

"Danny?" Dupe called.

Danny didn't reply just walked down the hallway trying to escape this nightmare.

**A/N awww Alice :( you do get yuorself in some messes :( will she pull through? will danny find the strength to stay by her side? Keep reading.  
>Congratulations to c8linwah for guessing Anthrax in a pm, i could be fussy and say you weren't specific bt i wnt lol good guess cloloveswah :)<br>and finally sorry for how completely rubbish chapter 29 was, i read it today and thought eugh danielle you actually put that crap up - disgusted at myself, hope this one is better  
>Anyway hope you enjoyed! x<strong>

**(Oh and since i have only a chapter of this left i have to start writing again, im gonna dash off and read cloloveswah and c8linwah chapters...Alice's life is literally in your hands!) **


	31. What If

**A/N RECAP - Alice has anthrax poisoning and has been sent in for surgery to drain the blood from her chest cavity, before that the whole family ended up going into meltdown when Michael turned up and it came out that Alice cheated, Rosie took it especially badly…..**

(X)

Rosie stood at Ally and Gloria's bedroom door, they were both wrapped up in their beds, finally sound asleep. It had taken a while. Max had did the star poem with them at the window and asked if they wanted to say anything to their parents. Gloria said she loved them and missed then and if they wanted to come back she'd be really happy. Ally just stared at the sky with a dark look on her face, she shot Max a malevolent look then returned to her bed. Rosie stared at Ally as she slept and she still had this worried look on her face, she wished she could help her, she just didn't know how.

Anyway after the poem ended badly Gloria lay in her bed while Max read a story to her about beautiful princesses and dark forests and there was always a happy ending, or middle as he started to change it as soon as Gloria got blinky. He knew when she was almost asleep, he was a good step dad she was willing to admit, so much better than she felt. During the story Ally had lay on her side facing the wall back stiff. She had eventually drifted off to sleep, not that it was at all restful.

She checked Gloria's nightlight was burning then left the room and closed the door slightly. After dragging herself to the living room she dropped onto the sofa and picked up the letter she had been reading before placing the girls in bed. They had an appointment scheduled with the social, she and Max had yet to find suitable accommodation for them and the girls to live. Granted it had only been about a week so maybe she was being a little hard on herself. She'd ring around tomorrow at least then they'd have something to say to the social worker.

Max walked in and found Rosie frowning at a letter.

"The social worker has made an appointment to ask the girls opinions on living with us." she told him monotone. "Stuff needs done."

"Rosie…."

"We should see about getting the girls some bereavement counselling." Rosie cut him off. "Ally especially she isn't coping well."

"Rosie…." he wasn't letting this go, if he did then they'd never get this chance again. Somehow he knew that, don't ask him how he just did!

She put her hand up to halt him. "Don't Max, I can't deal with this right now, don't you understand the amount of stuff we have to sort out without adding more complicated stuff into the mix!"

"When will the right time be Rosie? When the girls are in college? Or never? We are never going to work….."

"WE don't have to work Max, all we need to do it get the girls. If we do then we split amicably and work together for them but WE are finished. If we don't get them we're finished either way, that has been the plan from the start and I see no reason to alter it, do you?"

He ground his teeth together. "We used to alter plans all the time, you never used to mind then!"

"Yeah and look at what it got us? A divorce!"

"Is that really what you want? He breathed frowning at her. "For us to go our separate ways? Has the last week not changed anything at all for you?"

She laughed bitterly. "What else is there?"

He looked away and exhaled.

"Oh so you think we should pick up where we left off?" she took a step towards him and lowered her voice. "Coz I know how this one goes. One of accuses the other of cheating and we start to scream at each other." her tone cold. "You really want to go back to that?" she looked in the direction of the girls bedroom and walked outside. Was pacing on the veranda.

He followed and she closed her eyes tightly temper rising.

"You said you didn't believe that I cheated and that you didn't either….."

"I told you countless times I didn't cheat in the past you didn't believe me then!" she fumed.

"Coz you were accusing me, what else was I supposed to think. Its common knowledge that a cheater will often accuse their partner of doing the same thing!"

"A cheater….." she breathed.

"I didn't mean you!"

"Yeah well you said it! And you accused me too!"

"After you accused me first!" he retorted.

"You said first!"

He frowned. "NO I didn't."

"Yes….." Rosie bit her lip. "Look at us Max, we've fell right back into a replay of our old arguments! And you want to talk, we can't talk obviously!"

"But Rosie you said you didn't cheat and that I didn't. I believe you one hundred percent. That makes all the difference!" he coaxed.

"Well you know what that proves? The lengths the two of us would go to hurt each other! We can't do this anymore. There are two kids in there who need us to be normal people, not screaming. They have enough stuff piled on them already!"

"Ok." Max admitted. "We have stuff we need to talk about but why can't we work this out and be a family the four of us."

"Because the stuff you are talking about I have worked past and have ZERO desire to revisit."

"Yeah? Well maybe we should."

"Well maybe you're a ….." she bit back the rather unpleasant insult on her tongue. She painted a dark look on her face, "You wanna discuss this huh? MARISSA!" she enunciated clearly.

"Chris!" he spat in return.

"What's he got to do with anything? He and I are friends! We worked together during surgeries in Uni."

"Well tell me why you and he were giggling like kids while our wedding ring lay on the floor?" he challenged.

"Because I had just washed my hands from doing a surgery and when I tried to place it back on it slipped from my fingers then he started whipping my bum with a towel when I tried to pick it up!"

He made a disgusted face for a reply. "That's really respecting your vows!" he muttered.

"What so not laughing with other men is in the vows is it? If it is you heard the wrong ones!"

"No, but if you remember that is when our breakdown started."

"WE were friends…." she said through clenched teeth.

"I saw the way he looked at you!" he interrupted voice raised. "And I saw the way you looked at him, you used to look at me like that!"

Her jaw dropped. "So you do think I slept with him then?"

"No but…." he exhaled. "I thought you were falling for him and me and you were…" he swallowed. "…finished."

"Max I loved you!" she told him. "You were the one I wanted to come home to, I used to get so excited knowing I'd be seeing you when I walked in the house…..except you weren't there. You were at the bar with Marissa. Oh and talking about the way people look at you, tell me the looks Marissa were sending you were innocent. I can't tell you how often I had to restrain myself from clawing her eyes out!"

"There was never anything between Marissa and me. She listened….." he admitted.

"Tell me how much detail did you go into while our marriage imploded?"

He exhaled.

"Once upon a time you had a problem you came to me!" she spat and sat in a chair looked at the dark sky.

"You weren't there anymore Rosie."

"That wasn't my fault!" she raged eyes heavenward unable to look at him. "You replaced me!"

"No I…."

She was on her feet in seconds. "Yes you did!" shouting now. "You were talking about me behind my back to some other woman, who was no doubt going home and telling her friends all the juicy details!" she sat back down and covered her eyes with her hand.

He sat down and looked at her. The sounds of the nigth surrounded them. They allowed it to calm them.

"Why did you say what you did?" he finally whispered after the silence stretched for a while. "That final fight?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"You said I was happy that we lost our baby." rubbed his mouth like syaing it hurt him.

"You were obsessed with the idea of us having a baby Max."

"I wanted so badly to fix us!" he told her. "We were losing each other, I was losing you."

"A baby wouldn't have fixed us though."

"Do you remember the last time you were pregnant? Everything was going right for us, I've never been happier."

"I shouldn't have said it." she relented.

"I sense a but."

"No buts…..however we both said awful things to each other. That one was just the one the one that finished us. Do you know how it made me feel hearing you talk about babies all the time? You made me feel like a failure like I had to prove myself." she ran her hand through her hair. "It sounded like you were trying to replace it."

Max moved closer to her an placed an arm around her shoulders. "We couldn't ever replace it." his voice soft. "And you never had to prove anything to me. You never have."

He head dropped. "It feels like a dream sometimes Max, almost like it wasn't real."

He nodded. "I know."

"The we slowly fell apart and the divorce and I've tried to draw a line under everything but its all I think about sometimes. My head is spinning again and that can't happen. I need a clear head for the girls."

"What if we use this as a new start?" he whispered.

"What if what happened before happens again? What if we fight?"

"What if we know how to stop it this time?" he countered.

"What if we hide from each other again?" she asked.

He took her hand and held it tightly, exhaled shakily. "What if I admitted I was afraid to say anything in case I lost you. What if I was afraid of letting you down? What if I say I'm sorry for all the nights I came home far too late? What if I tell you that I'm not scared to tell you how I feel. What if I tell you that I'm ready to do anything and everything to get you back. I never stopped loving you or needing you. All it took to remind you was one look at your face."

Rosie felt herself swaying, losing her grip on her resistance. One of the things she'd loved about him was when he opened his heart to her. He wasn't an emotional man who wore his heart on his sleeve, things that hurt him he kept locked inside so he dong this was reminiscent of the past….so familiar….

"We aren't over are we?" he whispered. "I can see it in your eyes."

She couldn't….

"If we let each other in we'll heal each other. It's not easy I know. It takes time to trust again but we'll get there."

She froze when she heard the word trust….all the reasons why they couldn't be together came flooding back. "No Max!" she stood up stiffly. "There is nothing to save. There is no trust!" and with that she walked inside.

**A/N poor Rosie, she wont give up wiothout a fight...and alice more on her next chapter...**

**sorry for the lack of update recently, so busy its been unreal, and i have had zero time to write everytime i try i get interupted, frustrating as hell! wrote one A4 page in like 3 days :/ but had a few ideas so need to find time. **


	32. Mini Alice

**A/N Rosie told Max that they couldn't be together because they didn't trust each other. Alice is in hospital and Danny is waiting for her to come out of surgery.**

**(X)**

Max followed Rosie into the house. "Rosie I won't let this happen, trust takes time."

"Yeah well maybe I don't have the time to spare." she spat back not even looking at him.

He reached her and took her hand halting her. "Neither of us did anything wrong, we just stopped talking to each other."

Rosie looked up at Max needing space. He was staring into her eyes intensely. "Max I don't…." there was a knock on the door, Liv popped her head inside. "I know you two are busy but Dupe has asked me to pass on some news."

"Ok." Rosie said.

Liv was pale. "Come outside yeah?"

Rosie frowned when she saw the shadows in he little sisters eyes. "Max go check on the girls I'll come in soon."

He nodded knowing that Rosie knew something was wrong with Liv and she might want to discuss it in private. He disappeared into the girls room while she walked outside. Rosie watched Liv folded her arms on the veranda and place her head upon it.

"Liv?" Rosie watched her inhale deeply.

"One minute yeah." All Liv could think about at the moment was her feelings of helplessness when her mother had Anthrax, she had lay in the bed at home for so long, no one knowing whether she was going to live or die…..

Rosie meanwhile put her arm around Liv's shoulders and pulled her close. "What's wrong Liv?"

"It's Alice….."

Rosie stiffened and snarled. Before Rosie could voice her distaste Liv interrupted her.

"She's in hospital."

What Rosie had been about to say disappeared from her tongue. She pulled back and searched Liv's face. "What?"

Liv was finally looking at her sister upright. "She has Anthrax Rosie. Dupe and Danny took her to hospital but it's bad. She's gone down to surgery to drain her chest. Dupe said that Danny said it was second stage or something and shock too."

Rosie covered her hand with her mouth. "Oh God!" she whispered. This was beyond bad! "Did dad say how long she has been affected?" the earlier Alice got the antibiotics the better her chances….

"Dupe said at the very least 4 days ago."

Rosie swore profusely. This wasn't good! She most definitely had toxins in her system by now, how could she be so stupid?

"Mum has anthrax, she got better. Alice will too right?"

Rosie wanted to reassure her but this was no time to be giving false hope, Alice was in deep trouble here! "Four days is bad Liv."

"How bad?" Liv whispered.

"Really really bad." Rosie said. "Fatal bad." they had it drilled into their head in vet school, stay clear of infected animals. Under no circumstances are you to operate and if you suspect you might have it, even a slight worry, get yourself to hospital immediately.

Liv exhaled heavily. "And Danny knows?"

"Dad will have a pretty good idea." Rosie rubbed her face and she had no idea how he'd be taking it, her dad never reacted well to stuff like this. "Look go up to the house, Max and I will bring the girls up, we need to stick together right now."

Liv nodded. "Dupe said that Danny told us not to tell Charlie anything."

"Liv Charlie isn't stupid, she'll know something is up. If we tell her nothing she will worry more, and if I know her she'll try to find out what is wrong by other means."

"Rosie her mother is in hospital, what more could there be to worry about?"

"Then that is what well tell her, no details just the basics. She's thirteen and deserves to know Liv. We went through this at the same age as her and she is far stronger than we were, put together."

"I know but…."

"We are here for her and that is what she needs, even more so in a couple of days time."

"Who is going to tell her?"

Rosie was the eldest. "I will."

"Rosie she hates you right now."

Rosie nodded. "She doesn't know it yet but she needs me and you." she exhaled. "We've been through this."

Liv frowned then clapped a hand over her mouth as the implications of Rosie's words sank in. "You think Alice isn't going to make it?"

Rosie nodded solemnly.

"But Alice wouldn't…."

"I hope not." Rosie interrupted. "But we need to be ready just in case."

Liv dashed towards the hit as bile rose. Rosie placed her head in her hands. "God Alice!" she whispered. What she had been told mere hours earlier didn't really seem important now.

"Rosie?" Max's concerned voice travelled from behind her.

She shook her head. "Not now Max, please."

"Ok…..I just got a call." he told her hesitantly.

She frowned, not more bad news! "What is it?"

"Dad has a bar problem…."

Rosie scowled. "And he needs you coz he has no one else? Why am I surprised. Daddy calls and Max goes running, forever trying to make up for the mistake of marrying me! I knew all along that this lets make up rubbish was just that RUBBISH!"

"No Rosie it isn't."

"Have you told him you have priorities now? That you have two girls who need you! Max you're a father now!"

He exhaled.

"Have you told him you'll go?" she challenged.

He was shifty suddenly. "It'll only be for a few days….he needs me."

"What and the girls don't? I take it you have told him you'll go? Just forget about the girls and me and set off. Go then Max, but you know what Max, take your crap with you, don't hang it on me!"

"What's wrong Rosie? You think you might need me? You never have before!" he snapped then cursed his loose tongue.

"I haven't needed you since we got a divorce and I'm not about to start now! So go on then, leave you're good at that!"

"Rosie…."

"I said GO!" and she walked inside to ask Liv to help her with the girls. She hadn't bothered to tell him about Alice and at this moment in time she probably needed him more than she had ever needed him before.

(X)

After Rosie settled both Ally and Gloria in a bedroom she woke Ally to tell her they had been moved into the main house. Explained it with a little white lie, that they had found a leak in the hut and had to move. It didn't matter that they'd had no rain in four days! Anyway, she had bigger fish to fry - Charlie.

Charlie had scared at her darkly as Rosie had entered the house. Now she was in her room listening to music which to Rosie sounded like noise…..God had she really thought that? Sarah used to say the same thing about her music at that age! God was she getting old? She dismissed the thought and knocked on the door.

"C'min…."

Rosie entered the room and saw Charlie lain on her stomach on her bed reading a magazine, her pyjamas on, hair wrapped in a towel. Charlie's eyes narrowed. "Oh, thought you were mum, you can go."

And that was Rosie dismissed, wow she had Alice's knack alright! "Charlie….."

Charlie began singing loudly to a song Rosie didn't recognise. She didn't even look at her just flicked through her magazine.

"Charlotte listen to me!" Rosie raised her voice.

Charlotte looked up at her. "I don't have to do anything you tell me to! So why not save yourself the trouble of trying to make me talk to you!"

"We were friends before…."

Charlotte was on her feet in no time. Rosie had never noticed before but she matched her in height. "That was before you started a fight with my mum! If I was bigger and older you wouldn't have gotten near her!" eyes glittering with promise.

Oh yeah Alice was definitely being channelled through her teenage daughter. At any other time Rosie would have found this funny, but not right now. She was too worried to be amused. "Charlie I'm sorry you had to see that."

"But not sorry you did it?" Charlie challenged.

God could mini Alice just disappear for a minute? Rosie thought exasperated. "There are more important stuff going on at the minute."

"More important than me looking after my mum? I don't think so, so Rosie do one yeah?" and she flopped back down on her bed, picked up her magazine.

Rosie finally felt a flicker of sympathy for what Sarah must have went through with her, she had dealt with five minutes of this and was ready to scream. Rosie walked over and took the magazine from her hand and tossed it across the room. "Just listen ok! This is about your mum!" Rosie shouted.

Charlotte sat up slowly frowning at her. "Why isn't mum here telling me this?" she whispered. "Mum always gives me bad news and what you're about to say is bad isn't it?"

"Charlie…." her voice now soft.

"What have you done to her!" Charlotte shouted. "If you've hurt her…." her chest shuddering.

Rosie sat her back on the bed and took seat opposite her. "I haven't hurt her I promise." she considered her next words wondering how much she could say, giving too much away could cause Charlie to find out he whole story and if she was told too much too soon this could all kick off! No reason to worry her until it was absolutely necessary. "Look, a few days ago your mum went to a game reserve and she's ill from something she caught there."

"What like a virus?"

Rosie nodded. "Sort of."

"That still doesn't tell me why Danny isn't here telling me this. What are you trying to say?"

"Charlie your mum is in hospital."

She stood up. "What?"

Rosie took her hand and sat her down again. "Dad is with her, which is why I'm telling you this. I'm your older sister."

"If she is so ill then why isn't she at home in bed? Why is she at hospital?"

Rosie exhaled. "I don't know. Dupe just told us what I've told you."

"Do they know what she was ill with?" Charlie's face intense.

"I'm not sure."

"I need to see her!"

"Charlie just wait until tomorrow, or at least until dad gets back. Please."

Charlie frowned. "Is she going to die?" her voice very small, she looked her age finally, like a scared child who was worried she was going to lose her mum.

Rosie's eyes were heavenward and she wished she hadn't started this. "I don't know Charlotte I can't lie to you and say she'll be ok. But I do know that your mum is one of the strongest people I know and that counts for something!"

Charlie nodded and swallowed.

"As soon as dad is in touch I'll get you."

"Even if I fall asleep?"

"I'll wake you." Rosie promised.

Rosie got up to leave.

"Thank you for telling me. I know Danny and mum would have wanted to protect me so I appreciate you trusting me."

"No problem." Rosie murmured and wlaked from her room.

**A/N Bit of a filler really, i needed to fix Charlie and Rosie tho. you find out about Alice's prognosis next chappie. Oh and everything starts to get on top of Rosie too :/**

**A/N (2) ok this is one of hopefully 3 chapters i will get up tonight. my plan is to get this fic and also opposites attract finished by the 24th september which is when i go back to Uni and the dissertation (which i have already started D:) starts to take over my life. **

**(Sort of) Unfortunately there is a fair way to go with this one yet and opp att too and neither are finished being written either so we'll see...if i fin those two then i only have Darkness falls and A-Z and about 5 other ideas in my head which are killing me lol x**


	33. Keeping Calm

Danny sat in the relatives room. He had paced he had been still, he had spent a stupid amount of time looking out of the window. He had even closed his eyes pretending that all this was just a bad dream and was telling himself to wake up. He knew all this was very real, he needed to try though. Alice had been in surgery over an hour, nearly two, about half an hour ago he'd found himself on his knees praying that she was going to be ok. After doing all that he didn't know what else there was to do except was waiting for good news as receiving any other news apart from good didn't seem possible. The waiting was hell though, with nothing else to do but contemplate whether your loved one was alive or….his chest felt tight suddenly…thoughts like that help no one Danny least of all you he told himself. Thing was no matter which direction he tried to steer his thoughts his mind kept returning to that one possibility. What is she died? What did he tell his kids? What did he do with himself? He wasn't sure he could live in a world where she wasn't present. He could survive splitting up because she was still here, living and breathing as vibrant as the day he met her but living in a world where she was gone….could he? Thoughts like this were counterproductive, you know why? Coz she was gonna be fine! She wasn't going to die, the doctor was going to walk in here and say that Alice came through surgery with flying colours, like he knew she would. Then she would have the fastest recovery anyone had ever seen. She'd beat this like she beat every other thing that had tried to stand in her way! When she opened her eyes he'd tell her how much she meant to him and that he'd spend the rest of his life telling her how sorry he was for everything and he'd try to prove to her how much he loved her…..if she opened her eyes…..GOD! That one single thought just lingered. He lowered his head and placed his head in his hands. He clsoed his eyes and he could see a older version of Robbie sat opposite him.

"_Dad I've met this girl, she's….."_

"_Don't fall in love son!" he interrupted bottle of whiskey in one hand. "It doesn't last. I know this better than most. She'll leave. The world is cruel and you'll end up alone in the end."_

_Robbie frowned. "Just because mum died doesn't mean that everyone does."_

"_I don't want you going through what I have Robert, don't do it, just walk away!"_

Danny's eyes opened and he fisted his hands in his hair clenching his jaw. He didn't want that for his son. He didn't want to turn into that person! He wanted Robbie to grow up surrounded by his mothers love, secure in the knowledge that she was there and nothing would ever tear him from her. Charlotte still needed her, everyone did. She just had this knack of making everything alright. Even when the whole world seemed to be going mad and they were getting bombarded with problems from all angles she'd just look at him and smile and that was it, it didn't seem important anymore because she was with him. How could he have forgot all this! Why didn't he know this a week ago? Then none of this would have happened! His angry internal rant was interrupted by a soft knock and a doctor entering the room. Danny was on his feet immediately.

"Mr Trevanion?"

Danny nodded. "My wife?"

He took in the doctors grave expression and his head began to swim, before he knew it he felt like he was floating above his body watching himself from above.

"Your wife is in recovery after her surgery…." the doctor frowned. "I am correct in assuming you are a vet?"

Danny nodded.

"Then I don't need to emphasize the seriousness of your wife's condition."

Danny shook his head, "How is she?"

"We drained the blood from her chest which has helped her breathing and lessened the strain on her lungs..."

"That's good!" Danny spoke up. "So she is getting bett..."

The doctor shook his head solemnly. "Her kidneys and liver have both started to shut down, we are compensating for this as best we can. Unfortunately she had a bad reaction to some drugs while in theatre and began fitting so..."

"Don't pussyfoot around it, give it to me straight!" Danny demanded when he saw the doctor searching for the correct words.

"Mr Trevanion we have her on as may antibiotics as we can but as a vet you know that this won't help the toxins which are already present in her system, only she can fight them."

Danny felt a high pitched whine ringing in his ears, what the doctor was trying to say that there was nothing that could be done... "And her chances?"

Again the doctor was shifty.

"I'm a vet so try not to lie, I have a vague idea I just need to know definitively for the sake of my kids, should I be preparing them?"

The doctor sighed. "Mr Trevanion there is a ninety percent..."

Danny felt hope soar.

"...fatality rate for patients with this disease. I'm sorry..."

Danny felt like he couldn't breathe, his voice came out strangled. "N….n….ninety percent?" he could barely voice it.

The doctor nodded solemnly. "So yes it might be best to prepare your family for the worst. Bring them in to say their goodbyes, she's on borrowed time now." the doctor left leaving Danny alone with his thoughts. He stared at a spot on the carpet in front of him, mouth hung open. His face was pale and his eyes glassy. His breath seemed to be erupting from him in short jerky pants. Alice was going to….to….his whole body began to shake and his legs crumbled from underneath him.

That was how Dupe found him after returning from going home, a quivering, panting mess barely breathing staring into space as he knelt on the floor.

Dupe went to him and knelt down. "Trevanion?" he shook him gently.

Danny was frowning trying to make sense of all the information in his head.

"Trevanion!" Dupe repeated. "Is Alice ok?"

"There's nothing that can be done Dupe…" he whispered. "Ninety percent….organs shutting down…." Danny looked at him his expression confused. "Alice is going to die." he was frowning like he didn't understand the words he was saying.

Dupe searched his face for any sign that Danny actually knew what was going on, there was nothing, he was blank. "Danny are you ok?"

Danny dropped his palms to the floor and pushed himself up slowly until he was standing. "There are things that need to be sorted out Dupe." he said softly then walked from the room.

Dupe stared after him. Earlier Danny had been almost hysterical at the thought of Alice dying and now that he had been told for certain he seemed to be far too calm something wasn't right, and not just with Alice!

(X)

Danny made his was down the hallway his throat tight. The doctor couldn't possibility be right could he? He halted and silently berated himself. It was now a very certain possibility that Alice was never going to be coming home, never going to open her eyes again. He was a father and he had to try and think of the kids and lying to himself wouldn't help them! He began walking to her room again. He hadn't been lying to Dupe, there was so much he had to sort out. A mental lost already forming in his mind, at the very top was to see if Alice was suitable for the kids to come in and see her and not be too traumatised. He also wondered if he could handle seeing her lying there so still, it wouldn't do the kids any good to see him in pieces. Robbie wasn't going to notice either way but Charlie would. This was going to hit her hard, Liv too. She had already lost her own mother and although Alice hadn't taken Sarah's place she and Liv had forged a bond built on mutual respect and trust. He felt him self stop walking again and closed his eyes. He raised his headso he was looking at the ceiling.

"Just help me get through this." he whispered to no one in particular. "If I'm going to lose someone else I love at least let me lose my composure when it's all over." his breath shuddering from his body. A buzzing was surrounding him, he realised it was his phone. He pulled it out and connected.

"Danny." was the only word he could manage.

"Dad it's Rosie. How is everything?" her voice low.

He waited a moment befroe answering. "I'll be coming home soon. I need everyone in the kitchen."

"Why dad?" Rosie voice shook. "Is Alice…."

"She's still breathing." was the only reply he could decide on, as he knew full well that she wasn't ok.

"But…"

"I'll tell you all when I get there." he snapped. He didn't want to have to say this twice. Once was more than enough. "Has Charlie been told anything?"

"I told her that her mum was in hospital. She's in the living room sitting listening to her ipod at the minute."

So that was why Rosie was whispering. "Try not to say anything else ok, I'll talk to her when I get home."

"Dad you're scaring me."

He closed his eyes and exhaled. "I'm scared too Rosie."

It was then Rosie knew what her dad was coming to talk about.

"Has Robbie settled?"

"Yeah, he's out like alight. He enjoyed going out with Caroline and Charlotte earlier."

"Give both the kids a kiss for me if you can. I'll be home in a bit."

"Ok dad, stay strong."

He disconnected. "I'll try." he breathed. Stared at his phone for a little while then pushed it into his pocket. Heard Dupe's voice behind him. He turned.

"Danny are you ok man?"

"Yeah look Dupe I need you to go home."

"What you said before, about nothing to do done. Is Alice dying? Are they sure?"

Danny's face tightened and he clenched his jaw. "The doctor didn't say for certain either way but he warned me. Told me to get people in, she has a ten percent chance of beating this."

Dupe knew it was bad but not this bad! He scrubbed his face with his hands, he felt like he'd done that a lot today!

"So go home please Dupe, keep the family close. I need to go see Alice and make sure that the kids can see her before she…." he closed his eyes for a moment. "I need to know I can handle it."

"You'll be fine." Dupe began.

"You think so?" Danny asked voice controlled. "Coz I don't! I'm barely holding on as it is. You see what this is? Its sheer willpower and it isn't going to last forever. I have no concept of calm at the moment. It deserted me when I found out that I was losing my wife. So don't tell me I'll be fine when I feel like I'm about to shatter!"

Dupe stared at Danny's face and saw the helplessness, the grief, the love, and most of all the rage all merged in his eyes. Dupe placed his hand on Danny's arm. "I'm here for you."

Danny shrugged off Dupe's hand as his composure wavered. He took a step back. "No sympathy Dupe." his voice cracked. "I can't…." he quieted then exhaled levelled a look at him. "I need to be strong." his voice neutral although the shadows in his eyes were dark and deep. "So do me a favour and just go home. Help with the kids, keep their heads up. They need you more than I do. Please ask Rosie and Caroline….everyone just to treat me normally. If they don't then I'll lose it and…." he shook his head again.

Dupe nodded. "Ok man." handed him the keys to the truck.

"Thanks Dupe and not a word to anyone ok?"

Dupe nodded again and spun quickly. Danny leaned back against a wall and exhaled. He felt a tear leak passed his eyes before he could halt it. He pressed his palms into his eyes angrily. He reinforced the barriers he'd erected and as soon as they were strong enough he made the trek towards Alice's room.

(X)

Dupe arrived at home and removed the keys from the cars ignition. Earlier he had got a taxi home and left the car in the car park so he could bring a truck for Danny. He'd knew Danny would be staying there for a while. He stared at the house emotion trembling inside him. Dawn would be breaking soon, funny how he wasn't eve slightly tired. He placed his head on the steering wheel. 10 percent. Any other time he'd have been sure that even if Alice had a one percent chance she'd get through but right now? She had seemed to defected while she'd been here. She wasn't the strong confident Alice they all knew and loved. A shadow appeared at the door. It was Rosie, he knew it from the stance. He climbed from the car throwing his legs out and slamming the door. The moonlight shimmered over Rosie's features. Her expression was the mirror image of her fathers. God he could see Danny all over her face right now. He'd never seen him in her before. He put the keys in his pocket and walked up the stairs, his shoulders drooping, feeling laden.

Rosie walked towards him and they stopped at the top stair.

"How's dad?" she whispered.

"Doing as well as can be expected right now."

Rosie closed her eyes and squeezed the bridge of her nose. "So Alice is dying then?" dropping her hand after asking.

"From what Danny said it's a matter of time. And it didn't sound like weeks either more like days."

Rosie wrapped her arms around her head from above and exhaled. Shook it off and looked at Dupe once again.

"Keep it to yourself." Dupe told her.

"I know dad will be home soon to tell everyone something. I had a feeling it was this. If she'd been fine he would have said on the phone."

"I need you to tell all the adults not to give Danny any kind of sympathy. He's holding on Rosie but if you'd seen him when I put my hand on his arm…." Dupe shook his head.

Rosie nodded.

"So I'll take Nom and Caroline. You take Max and Liv."

"Max has gone." she said woodenly pretending not to care. "We have a meeting about the girls in a few days time and maybe he'll be back in time for that, he didn't say. I'm not holding my breath!"

"Rosie you and Max can work this out…"

"No Dupe, we can't coz a bar will always take precedence over us!"

"After all this, after you see how your dad is coping you'll feel differently." Dupe vowed. "This could very easily be any one of us and I wouldn't want to be in Trevanion's position for anything in the world! You have the person you love within reach and you're depriving yourself of that? Why? Out of some twisted concept of revenge coz you argued? Or because you both said nasty things? Or because you think you can't trust each other? Face it Rosie the person you can't trust it you! You can't trust that you'll let everything in the past go and you'll throw it in his face when things get tough!"

"That's not true Dupe!" she say jaw slack shocked at his outburst.

"Fine then, this is about pride then. You're both too damn stubborn to swallow it. When your dad gets here, look at him. Really look at him, past the mask he'll be wearing. When you do think about his and Alice's relationship the past few weeks. He is feeling far worse than any of us can imagine. Do you want that Rosie?"

She was silent, his words surrounding her, filling her with thoughts she hadn't considered before.

"Doesn't even matter what I say, no one listens to me around here." and he walked in the house leaving Rosie alone.

**A/N things with Danny steadily begin to get worse trust me! Dupe has made Rosie stop and think about her and Max and Alice is dying :( so sad :(  
><strong>**Keep reading, the family start to fall apart but will they find a way to come together? x**


	34. Together We Stand, Together We Fall

Danny was stood staring at the room Alice occupied unable to open the door. "You can do this." he whispered to himself. "Just walk in there and stay strong. She is still Alice, no matter what…" he placed his hand on the door handle. He turned it and walked inside slowly. The first thing he noticed was the amount of machinery that seemed to surround her. It was everywhere, all of them connected in some way. She had drips connected to her arm, a clear narrow tube in her mouth connected to a ventilator that whooshed. She also had what looked like a dialysis machine close by.

She was pale, he'd never seen her look so white. The sight of her made him want to scream at the injustice of all this. She didn't deserve what she was going through. She was too young, had her children to watch grow. His mind went to Charlie. This was going to destroy her. He knew that it irritated Alice that Charlie seemed to only have time for him but truth be told the one person she loved more than anyone else was her mother. Danny knew that Charlie would fight to the death with anyone who dared to try and hurt her. She copied her and had her walk down pat. Alice was perfect to her and even when she and her mother had words and fell out Alice was still amazing to her. And his little boy, his Robbie. How was he supposed to grow up without his mothers gentle guidance? Yeah his father was here but mothers and sons have a bond, something that went further than a father and a son. Could this bond transcend death also or would Robbie grow up feeling like he'd been missing something?

He felt his breathing become heavier and he inhaled deeply steadying it, he walked towards her bed and took Alice's hand. It was cold and he rubbed it trying to generate some heat. As he rubbed his fingers ran alone the bones of her hand tracing the lines and ridges. He turned her hand as his fingers moved he noticed her palm was soft. He enclosed her hand in both of his and felt himself fall to his knees. He held her hand to his face as tears fell fast and relentless. He sobbed silently his gasping breaths breaking the hush in the room.

"Ninety percent." he moaned. "But you can't!" his voice so distraught it was almost incoherent. Danny allowed himself a few more moments of uncontrollable emotion before he gathered himself and his feelings. He stood up eyes rooted to the ceiling. He clenched his jaw and exhaled. Looked at his wife. Ran a hand down her beautiful flawless face, leaving no part untouched. He leaned down mouth close to her ear.

"I hope that you can hear me Alice because I need you to know that I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, for the pain and hurt I've caused you. I'm sorry for every angry word I've ever thought or spoke. I'm sorry that I didn't know that you were ill but most of all I'm sorry for every tear you've cried over me." he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek then stood upright. When he left here he knew he had to go and do the hardest thing he'd ever experienced….again. He had to go and tell his family….tell his children that they were losing their mother, he spun quickly and stomped over to the door, anger flowing red and hot. It was either feel anger or fall apart in a depression.

(X)

Rosie sat in the kitchen feeling sick. Dupe's words about Max spinning in her head. How would she feel if she lost him? What if something bad did happen? Look at Alice and her dad, they hadn't thought she would get ill so quickly, and not they have no way of making up before she died. Their last weeks together had been mired by secrets and angry words and now Alice was unconscious, dying and her dad would never have his chance to make his peace with her, to say sorry, to even say he loved her one final time.

Did she still love Max? she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. If she did and that was IF then it wasn't as much as she had in the past…..that was understandable though after all they had been through. Did she still need Max? again not as much as she had in the past, after their break up she had became stronger out of necessity, if she hadn't then the strain from their break up would have broken her. That strength had brought with it independence. The name Gifthold didn't define her anymore, nor did Trevanion although she had returned to it. She was Rosie, that's it. Just Rosie. A strong individual. Not part of a couple or an extension of her dad.

She pondered everything for a few moments, in light of the incidents from the past few hours then maybe she and Max should make their peace, just in case something bad was to happen. But no make up! Dupe was wrong there. They had moved on, well she had and maybe it was time Max did too.

Mind made up she sat absorbing the quiet in the house, it wasn't often she was awake this late, then again these weren't exactly normal circumstances! She had heard Dupe and Caroline earlier. They were saying that her dad was being too calm. Caroline had promptly replied that he was doing what he had to get through this. This wasn't the same situation as Sarah, with Sarah it had been unexpected Alice's was worse as Danny had to watch. Sooner or later he was gonna crash and when he did no one would be able to help. He had to find a way to pick himself up or they'd all have lost him as well as Alice. Rosie left not wanting to hear about the possibility of her dad losing his mind. She couldn't help but think that he had barely survived the loss of Sarah and her mother. Could Alice be the one to finish him? To make him give up? As she pondered that thought a truck rumbled to a stop outside. A minute later her dad walked inside.

"Family conference!" he barked "Five minutes." he clenched his jaw as he saw his own bedroom, spun and walked into Robbie's. Rosie meanwhile got up to collect Charlie when her dad appeared.

"Not her, I'll tell her in private." and he returned to Robbie's room.

Rosie stared at the door. She had been closer enough to see her father clearly this time and she noticed how haggard he looked. His eyes were no longer green but an indiscriminate dark colour. The whites bloodshot. She put her hand over her mouth. She was no longer in any doubt, when Alice died her dad was going to crumble. Her mind was spinning. Dupe and Caroline had arrived at the table and were eyeing each other. They gave her knowing looks as she approached. She nodded in agreement to Dupe. Liv meanwhile had taken a seat her back to the hallway, her head rested on her hand. Even though Danny hadn't officially confirmed it they all knew what he was going to say. Rosie felt tension take root in her shoulders and decided to check on her girls.

Danny meanwhile stood at his sons cot moonlight spilling within the small dark room, as his gaze scanned the area he could see large trucks and toys littering the floor, his eyes came to rest on the baby lain in the cot, his searched his little face for aspects of his mother. They were there, recognisable.

"I'm sorry Robert." his voice a whisper. The seriousness punctuated by the use of his given name. the name his mother chose for him. Danny's hand moved silently through the air and came to rest upon the boys small chest, he felt his heart pumping sure and strong.

"You're the best parts of your mum and me. I'm going to have to find a way to make you see just how much as you grow older." he dropped his head.

Robbie sighed in sleepy, oblivious to the worries which plagued his father. He leant over the cot and kissed his sons head softly. "No matter what son you're loved. By me and your mum. I'll tell you how much she loves you every day." he vowed. Touched his child's soft cheek.

He was reminded of the argument with Alice when he said he wanted to have the kids with him, he had but not like this, never like this. He shook his head, rolled his shoulders and walked from the room. Saw everyone was waiting for him at the dining table talking softly. When they heard Robbie's door close silence fell and they stared at him. Even Liv, whose back was facing him, craned her head to look at him. He approached and read the bleak look within her eyes, Rosie's too. Caroline and Dupe looked resigned. Danny had a feeling they knew what he was going to say. He walked in slowly the air thick with anticipation. Dupe nodded at him, Danny ignored it. He walked to the fridge, took out the juice and poured himself a glass pondering what he was going to say. Should he just come out and say it? Or should he prepare them? He placed the carton back in the fridge wishing he was cradling a glass of something much stronger. He stared down into the orange depths and frowned, spun and faced the people who were waiting for his announcement. They looked worried and anxious.

"Alice is dying." he said stonily.

Liv's eyes widened and her jaw slackened. Rosie put her arm around her.

"As you all know Alice has Anthrax poisoning, it has hit second stage." his voice emotionless, although his jaw was ticking and his eyes were glistening. "When it hits second stage…" he sighed. "Well its not good."

"How bad?" Liv squeaked eyes full of unshed tears. Rosie had warned her earlier but she hadn't believed that this would take Alice, she was too strong!

"10 percent of survival." he admitted.

Liv's hand rushed to her mouth. "But mum…."

Danny looked and saw Caroline bow and lower her head, Dupe murmuring to her offering comfort. He returned to Liv. "Your mums was caught pretty early…" he knew he was being blunt, he had no other choice. "And your mums wasn't respiratory. it's the worst kind, vicious. It destroys the body, makes it turn on itself." he trailed off.

Liv began to cry in earnest now. Rosie shot her dad a dark look then took Liv to her bedroom closing the door.

"What now Trevanion?" Dupe asked realising no amount of words from him was going to make Caroline feel any better.

"Everyone needs to go in and say what they need to." he croaked the words he'd been speaking finally hitting him. He clenched his jaw tightly.

"What about Charlotte?" Caroline hiccupped.

"Let her sleep, I'll see her tomorrow, right now I have stuff to do." and with that he walked from the house, heavy footfalls echoing unaware of the tears falling down his face.

(X)

Rosie meanwhile was still trying to console a hysterical Liv an hour later. She lay on her stomach on her bed punching the pillow while wailing. "Again….again…" in between heart broken sobs.

Rosie sat by her side, hands on her shoulders trying to raise her. No Liv, not again!" Rosie said for the hundredth time. "These things just…."

"Don't say it just happens!" Liv screaming into her pillow. "That there is a reason why we have to go through this over and over again!" she rolled from the bed and was on her feet, her face pale, eyes red rimmed. "If there are reasons tell me why my dad doesn't care about me! Tell me the reason why Danny has lost three women he loves! Tell me why you, me and soon Charlie know what its like to grow up in our teenage years without our mum!" she screamed, picked up a mirror off her cabinet, threw it. It exploded as it bounced off the wall. Then threw herself back on the bed fisting the quilt tightly.

Rosie stroked her hair. "Maybe for us to grow up strong."

"I'd rather be weak Rosie." she keened, voice defeated. "I needed my mum and she left. I finally allow myself to let Alice in, to talk about stuff, to…..to…." she faltered and wrapped her arms around her head tightly. "I love her Rosie, why's this happening to us again?"

There was a knock on the door, danny appeared. Rosie wanted to swear at him when she saw that his face was completely neutral. She opened her mouth to tell him where to go….

"Leave us alone for a little bit Rosie."

"You've done enough!" she hissed knowing if he'd been less graphic then Liv wouldn't be going into meltdown right now.

"It'll be fine." he whispered. "She needs me more than you."

Rosie was on her feet looking in his face. "Yeah but difference is I'm not traumatising her!"

"Rosie I won't…."

She silenced him knowing that he was right, Liv needed thier dad. "You hurt her and I swear to God I don't care if you're my dad or not I'll….."

He nodded and went to kiss her head. She backed away. He settled by patting her shoulder. "Get some sleep, tomorrow will be a long day."

"I know, I'm the one who has to deal with the people YOU hurt when you're not thinking about what your saying!" and she left the room absolutely steaming.

Danny meanwhile sat on the bed beside Liv, lifted her up effortlessly and wrapped his arms around her. One hand around her waist the other on her head. "It's alright." he whispered rubbing her hair. "Cry it out."

"Alice?" Liv croaked her head in his chest minutes later, her sobs calming. "Really?"

"Slim chance she'll pull through." his voice scratchy. "Slim but a chance."

"Do you think she'll pull through." Liv asked hopefully, her blue eyes looking up beseechingly.

If Danny closed his eyes he could see Alice's smile dancing through his mind. Hear her laughter all around him, feel the embrace that never failed to warm him. None of that was present in the hospital. The spectre of death loomed overhead. He almost replied with no then remembered her promised Rosie not to hurt her….yet he couldn't lie, it took all his effort not to break down. "I dunno."

In other words no, he read in her eyes before she thrust her head back to his chest, more tears surging. "Why us Danny? Why always us?"

Coz God has a sick, twisted sense of humour was his preferred reply, instead he settled on, "Who knows."

"Have you told Charlie yet?"

He shook his head. "I need you and Rosie to keep an eyes on her when I'm at hospital. This is gonna….well remember how you and Rosie felt. She'll be going through that as well as guilt and a lot of other things I won't understand but YOU will. Be there for her please, she'll need a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen while she vents. We all need to stick together right now."

Liv nodded. "Ok."

"Thanks." he whispered. "I'm guessing this is dragging up things about your mum again huh?" he broached.

"I was just starting to feel settled again, after we lost this place." burst from her. "I had this feeling of peace that I'd lost and now…." her face crumpled.

"It's hard but we'll get there again. I promise." and he kissed the top of her head. She allowed him, unlike Rosie who hated him right now.

"And Alice?" Liv's voice broken. "What about her?"

She heard him exhaled. "Alice? Well….she'll…." he cleared his throat. "We'll miss her but we'll get used to….her not being around." the final part forced past his lips. His whole body was taut with keeping the emotion inside.

"It's ok to cry Danny." Liv whispered her eyes rested on his shoulder, eyes closed. "Charlie will feel better if you do. When mum died…."she quieted a moment. "When you found her you came in and cried with us." her voice wobbling. "Fell to your knees and sobbed. We didn't mind. You lost someone you loved. When you cried we weren't alone."

"I know but I have Robbie too." he murmured. "I can't fall apart. There's so much…."

"Ok Danny." she agreed softly and released him knowing that nothing she said would change his stance. Although his eyes shined his face remained shielded and strong. She hated him for it, she wanted to know he felt it too!

"Remember take care of Charlie when I'm not here."

"You getting in touch with Evan?" she asked ignoring his last request.

"Yes." his voice tired. "I have Rowan to contact first."

"I'll ring Evan."

"It's ok…" he began.

"I need my big brother, he understands." she said accusingly. "I'll talk to him."

"Ok Livvie. Try and get some sleep and I'll see you later." he left the room and closed the door. He remained rooted to the spot unable to move. "Stay strong." he whispered to himself. "Don't lose yourself." unknowing that was exactly what he was doing by not allowing himself to hurt for his wife. Tears burned his eye lids and still he refused to release them. He heard Liv's voice moments later and listened.

"Ev? Listen it's Alice." she said quickly. "She's gonna die and Danny won't cry!" he heard her start sobbing and left the area quickly, hearing her cry like that would have him sobbing in no time.

**A/N awwww poor Liv breaks my heart...and Rosie, its already starting to take its toll on her :( It gets worse. And Danny does too believe it or not. again this family is remaining divided when thy need each other. (Felt sorry for danny earlier when he cried tho :( why he can't do that in front of his family is beyond me!) Anyway thanks for reading x**


	35. Accusations

Danny walked from the house after listening to Liv's heartbroken sobbing in her room. He was finding it hard not to react to the sound of the devastation in her voice. He walked in the darkness knowing that he wanted quiet while he made this call. Rowan was gonna be hard to tell, he loved Alice more than anything, she was after all the only family he had left. As he wandered he came to the pool, it was empty and dirty having still not been cleaned after they got their home back. He remembered another warm night he and Alice had frolicked in there. He could almost see her in there, the water lapping around her skin, the droplets falling from her arm as she went to splash him. The way the moonlight cascaded over her body casting her in an ethereal glow. He closed his eyes to hide but this only made the image all the more vivid as it raced through his mind. The sound of her laugh, low and joyful until he'd silenced her with a hot kiss. He scowled and stomped away from the area angry at this mind for torturing him in this way. He scrowled his contacts list as he headed from the pool...ended up coming face to face with the caravan of death as Alice had so lovingly christened it. So many memories in there, happy ones….ones he couldn't revisit right now! He spun clenching his jaw and pressed connect to ring Rowan.

As memories continued to torture him he commanded them to "Leave me alone!" It seemed she was everywhere, there wasn't a space on this land where he could have solace. Rowan picked up the phone unexpectedly. "Hello?"

Danny's voice deserted him, why hadn't he planned what he was going to say?

"Danny?" Rowan questioned. "Or has little Robs got his hand on daddy's phone again hey Rob Rob." he sang over the phone.

Danny listened to Rowan as he thought he was speaking to his nephew. He had no idea what to say, how do you tell someone that their baby sister, their only family left was dying?"

"Well little Robs since daddy has no idea you have his phone I'm gonna disconnect before you run up a mahoosive bill." he chuckled.

"Rowan…." Danny finally found within him to say.

"Oh Danny, so little man had your phone?"

"Um, no."

"Oh, so what's up then? What was with the silence?"

"Rowan Alice is in hospital." he said quickly.

"What she done this time?" Rowan's voice full of fun. "She's fell and broke a leg hasn't she?"

"No Rowan Alice is…." he inhaled deeply. "Alice is dying." he choked out.

"WHAT?" he shouted immediately irate.

Danny didn't know what to say so stayed quiet.

"You're wrong Danny!" Rowan yelled when Danny didn't take back what he said. "I saw her only a week ago and she was healthy! You don't go from healthy to dying in less than 7 days!"

"She caught respiratory Anthrax Rowan, it's second stage."

"Danny tell me something I can understand second stage means nothing to me!"

"Second stage is when her organs start shutting down. When it gets this far there's about a ten percent chance of survival."

The only sound from the other end of the phone was laboured breathing. "Is this your fault?" he finally asked softly.

"Rowan I wasn't here."

"YES THEN!" he raged. "You should have been there. That should be YOU not here!"

"I called you so you can make your way over here to see her." Danny told him ignoring his outburst.

"She should have stayed in London with me! She wouldn't have caught that here!" Rowan carried on.

"Call the house when you get here yeah." Danny asked. "When you do someone will collect you to take you to hospital." and he disconnected the call. He knew Rowan needed someone to blame but he couldn't listen to stuff like that right now.

(X)

After sitting on a log all night Danny returned to the house at about seven hoping the place would be empty, he found Rosie and Liv sat at the table with coffee. They both had dark rings around their eyes, obviously having been up all night.

"I'll look after Robbie if you want to go to hospital dad." Rosie offered.

He nodded and went to his room, collected a few clothes and then showered. He dressed in the bathroomas he passed he tossed his towel in the basket noting that it was almost overflowing. He carried it into the kitchen and without caring what he was throwing in he threw it all in the machine, poured in some powder and turned it on. Rosie and Liv watched him doing this but he ignored them, he could tell they were waiting for him to crack up and this time he wasn't! he hadn't been a good enough father to Rosie when she lost her mother and God knows he could have dome better with Liv but not this time. Charlie wasn't going to see him crying, unable to control himself. He still found their staring irritating, he was about to pull them when he heard Robbie begin to cry. He walked down the hallway to his sons bedroom, collected him and carried him into the kitchen. He seemed to be in a jolly mood this morning chattering away as Danny carried him. He knew he was supposed to put him in his high chair but he was reluctant to let his son go, Robbie and Charlie were his last connections to Alice so he made his breakfast while holding him and only placed him in his high chair to feed him. He then handed his son a bottle to drink while he cleaned up the dishes.

"Danny…." Liv started.

He tossed the tea towel in the sink. "I better go see Charlie." and he walked down the hallway. "Rosie watche Robbie please."

Liv watched him go face pained. He stopped outside Charlie's door and knocked. "Charlie!" he called.

The child in question pulled the door open, she was wearing white pyjamas with multicoloured spots, her hair sticking up everywhere. "Danny? Is mum ok?"

He looked at Liv and Rosie then back to Charlotte. "Go in your room sweetie."

She stared at him with frightened eyes. Rosie and Liv watched as she backed into her room slowly. A few minutes later they heard an anguished scream come from her. Liv, who had picked Robbie up lowered her head so it rested on Robbie's small one. She could still hear the sobs coming from Charlie's room and they tore at her soul. She knew all too well what Charlie was going through, it still felt raw from when it happened to her.

"You ok Liv?" Rosie asked softly leaning across the table and putting her hand on her shoulder.

"I'd do anything to stop her going through this." her voice rough.

Rosie sipped her coffee staring down the hallway. "Me too." she breathed. "I never thought it would come to this with Alice. She always seemed too strong. My mum would have hated life here and although Sarah was the strongest supporter for living here at first it was always…." she frowned. "I dunno, it was like she had all these talents but was never fully used if you know what I mean. It was like Danny was the breadwinner and she stayed at home with the kids, and that wasn't your mum. But Alice, she just seemed to fit here. Right from the beginning she just slotted in like it was made for her."

"Mum would know what to do." Liv whispered rubbing Robbie's head, eyes downcast.

Yeah, Rosie silently agreed. She'd find a way to pick her dad up….but if she was here then Alice wouldn't be and Charlie wouldn't be heartbroken.

Charlie's bedroom door opened and Danny walked out looking utterly defeated. His face was pale and drawn, eyes shimmering with tears he wouldn't allow to fall, he closed the door then leaned against it. Rosie and Liv watched silently as he closed his eyes…..clenched his jaw and pounded his fist off the wall three times in rapid succession. He seemed to realise what he did because he spun on his heel and walked from the house. Rosie and Liv shared another concerned glance as they heard a truck roar to life and speed away.

(X)

Danny sat in the truck clenching the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. The scene from Charlotte's bedroom just kept repeating in his head. She had looked so much like Alice as she'd stared at him her eyes wide and frightened. Even more so when she had began to cry, this had precipitated flashbacks to the times he'd made Alice cry….mostly to the time she'd sobbed in her room when he'd implied that he'd cheated. He clenched his jaw as the image of Alice rolled into a tight ball remained frozen in his mind, his foot pressed harder on the accelerator. The greenery around him passing in a blur. The image of Alice crying was being joined by images of Charlie crying and how he had caused that too….

"_Danny? Is mum ok?"_

_He looked at Liv and Rosie then back to Charlotte. "Go in your room sweetie."_

_Her little face had fell suddenly and he could tell she was afraid. She backed into the room slowly, obviously hesitant. He followed closing the door_

"_Danny?" she asked._

"_Sweetie sit down."_

_Charlotte wrapped her arms around her like she was cold. "Tell me why you look so scared Danny." she whispered._

_He took her hand so he could guide her to a seat, she yanked it away. "Is mum ok? I'll sit down when I know she is ok!" she looked up at is face. "I know she is ok!" she told him forcefully, when she didn't see him nod an affirmative or his expression didn't change she was suddenly unsure. "Isn't she?" Charlie whispered. _

"_Sweetie I need you to sit down." he pleaded._

_She took a step back. "Tell me mum is ok Danny!" she demanded._

"_I can't." he said softly._

_Charlie's hand flew to her mouth. "How bad is it?" was torn from her._

"_Charlie…."_

_She read what he about to say by the look in his eyes. She took a step back shaking her head. "No ok! Just No! mum wouldn't!"_

_He went to her and knelt in front of her, he put his hand on her cheek. "Sweetheart you're mum is dying, I'm so sorry." his voice broke._

"_No Danny!" she shrieked. "NO! she can't!" she looked around wildly like she could find something to help. "There's got to be something they can so. Something YOU can do. You can fix this Danny I know you can!"_

_Danny took her in his arms and held her tightly. "They can't sweetie. The doctors have done everything they can."_

"_But what about Robbie?" she yelped sobbing. "What about me? We need her!"_

"_I know you do sweetheart."_

"_Please Danny…." she begged though she had no ideas what for. "I know you'll be able to fix this if you try because that is what you do!"_

"_I'd do it if I could." he promised. "I'd do anything!"_

_Charlie sobbed and although he felt the tears welling within his own eyes he wouldn't let them fall. Evan and Liv had saw him fall apart with Sarah and Rosie had endured the same with Miranda he was adamant that Charlie wouldn't have to go through the same! So he clenched his jaw and they disappeared. Charlie backed away from him when she felt how rigid he was, she saw his face impassive and his cheeks dry. She frowned. "Aren't you upset about mum?" she asked tears still falling._

_He nodded._

"_Then why aren't you crying. I thought you would. Dupe said that when Sarah died you sobbed your heart out."_

"_I cried already."_

"_So!" she retorted. "Why not twice?" she took a step back so he wasn't holding her anymore. "I know why, coz you don't care do you?" he voice angry._

"_Charlie…."_

"_You cried over Liv's mum and Rosie's but not mine?" she accused "You loved them more than mum!"_

"_Charlie…." he repeated._

_She pulled him to his feet with surprising strength for her size and pushed him toward the door of her room. "I don't want to talk to you anymore, get away from me! How could you NOT cry!" she shouted._

"_I'll come back later and we'll talk then." he told her reasonably._

_Charlie was in no mood to be reasonable and spat curse words at him. "Don't bother!" tacked on the end._

Danny returned to the present unable to stop thinking about her words. He had cried a lot over Sarah, openly. Did that mean he loved Sarah more than Alice? He could hear Charlie hissing in his ear that he did. He started to feel like he was going crazy, it wasn't a competition of who he loved more. He loved Sarah then and he loved Alice now. Ah but Danny if Alice had came along when Sarah was alive would you have fell for her? He pondered the thought, in all honesty no because he wasn't built like that. He was a one man woman, but Sarah was gone….and soon Alice would be too…. He closed his eyes as pain engulfed him.

"Why are you doing this Alice?" he screamed impulsively, remembered he was driving a truck and opened his eyes…a second too late. For the image before him as he opened his eyes was that of a large tree and the truck was aiming straight for it. Before he could react there was an impact, the crunch of metal and the tree quivering as the truck seemed to wrap around it. Steam hissed from the engine as silence fell all around.

(X)

Charlie had packed a bag. She was an orphan now, or as close as you could get. Her mum, the only person in the whole world who had never left her, never let her down, been there her whole life was dying. She had been there through thick and thin no questions asked. Charlie knew what was going to happen when she lost her mum too. She was gonna have to go and live with Michael, after that scene with Danny he'd do it too out of sheer spite.

She had to go, she knew Danny would want her to go see her mum but she couldn't. She didn't want her last memories of her mother to be in a hospital bed, she wanted to remember her happy, and healthy. Not lain on a bed dying. Tears leaked from her eyes. Liv and Rosie had came and spoke to her straight after Danny left offering support. She didn't want it, she just wanted to go. Her uncle Rowan might be on his way and he was friends with Michael and he'd take her back.

She zipped up her bag, popped her head out of her bedroom door. The coast was clear she dashed to the fridge, pushed some juice into the side pockets of her bag then took the money from her money box in the study. She had no idea what she'd do but she'd think of something! She slung the pack over her back and left the house. Gave it one last look as she began to walk into the distance.

**A/N ok peeps can things possibly get any worse? Danny is lying somewhere in the bush possibly fataly injured, Alice is lain up in hospital dying, Charlie is running away. Rax is apart, Rosie is struggling and Liv is hurt and confused...ah man how am i gonna fix this? *insert gerodie accent there lol***

**anyway just curious if one HAD to die who would you want to live, Alice or Danny, pick carefully mind! I may very well have 2 ways this could happen...**


	36. I'm Not Going Back

Rosie sat with Ally and Gloria on the veranda. Gloria was colouring in, her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she concentrated, while Ally simply stared into the distance with her arms crossed.

"So how about we go somewhere today? Just us girls?" Rosie asked them.

Gloria looked up and smiled while Ally's gaze remained rooted to whatever she could see in the distance.

"Will Uncle Max come too?" Gloria asked returning to her colouring.

Rosie shook her head sadly. "Uncle Max had to go…."

Ally's head whipped round sharply to stare at her. Rosie had obviously said the wrong word. "Is he coming back?" she demanded.

Rosie ran her hand along Ally's head. "Of course he is, his dad just needs some help."

Ally jerked her head away and returned to staring at the mountains, arms tighter than before.

"Rosie." Gloria asked softly. "You know your dad and Max's dad?"

Uh oh, Rosie knew what was coming and by the looks of Ally's posture she did too…. "Yeah." please don't ask what she thought she was going to ask! Rosie thought.

"Are they our grandparents now?"

Rosie stiffened as she saw Ally's face contort. She turned on her younger sister before Rosie could stop her. "NO GLORIA! THEY AREN'T! THEY ARE NOTHING TO US SAME AS ROSIE AND MAX! JUST BECAUSE MUM AND DAD ARE DEAD DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!" she jumped to her feet. "I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

Rosie spun Ally before she could carry on her tirade. She knelt down looking in her face. "I understand that you are scared and grieving but you never talk to your younger sister like that ok!"

"You can't stop me!" Ally interrupted. "I'm her family not you!"

"Yes I can! She is only little Ally, practically a baby and she asked a question. You don't have to shout at her and scare her! She doesn't understand what happened to your parents like you do, remember she is only three!"

"I don't want to be here!" she yelled. "And I don't want to be in your family either! Gloria and I have family!"

"I know you don't want to be here but you are." Rosie softened her voice. "Ally I know this isn't perfect yet but…."

"NO!" Ally was on her feet and backing from the room. "My mum should be here not you! All I want is my mum!" her eyes glistening.

Right now Rosie wanted her mum too because she had no idea what to do! "Gloria sweetheart why don't you go and play inside for a little bit. I'll be there in a minute." and moved closer to Ally. As soon as Gloria was inside Rosie spoke, "Look it'll all be ok I promise you. You'll feel better it might take a while though."

"You don't know that, you can't know that. You don't understand how it feels…" her tears began to fall. "…to lose your mum and dad." Rosie tried to hug her but Ally spun and ran down the stairs.

"Ally!" Rosie followed. The little girl ran faster and Rosie looked at the house. "Stay close!" she shouted after her. She scrubbed her face to sort Gloria then find Ally when her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"No way!" she whispered. She had no time to deal with this right now! She ran into the house. "Gloria stay with Auntie Liv for me."

Gloria looked up at her in the hallway eyes solemn. "Does Ally hate me?" she sniffed.

"Of course not angel she's just sad about your mummy and daddy. She loves you. LIV!" she yelled above the child's head.

Liv appeared holding Robert his baby grow unsnapped. "I was just changing him."

Rosie guided Gloria to the living room. "Put a film on in there for Glo worm and Robs. I have to go out in a truck coz Ally cat has done a runner. There is something else too we'll talk about later just keep the kids in here. I'll find Charlie and send her this way too. I'll phone you in a bit."

"Rosie?"

"Its serious Liv." she looked towards the door. "I have to go I'm sorry."

Liv nodded and closed the door, Rosie meanwhile grabbed some keys and dashed out of the door. Everything was going to hell!

(X)

Charlie had walked for a little while when she saw the log her mum had sat on a long time ago with Danny. She decided to rest there for a little bit. She sat here letting the sun warm her skin remebering the time her mum had told her how Danny had supported her here. Charlie had been sad after a boy at school had called her some stuff, she had really liked this boy, he'd been her first boyfriend and she had convinced herself they'd be together forever. They broke up, and then he said nasty things about her. Her mum then told her about how long it took her to find her perfect guy and as soon as she saw Danny she knew straight away and that no matter what happened he would always love her and never call her stuff. She told her about how he supported her after she was attacked by the lion, how he didn't criticize her at all. How that was real love and that this silly boy was just that, silly coz he had no idea what he lost and boys didn't matter coz she had so many people at home who loved her uncondiotionally.

Now she was back here and it didn't feel like home anymore. She'd go back to London in a heartbeat if she could only have her mum back. She wouldn't even complain about it. She'd go back to the school and work hard making sure she didn't bother her mum at all. Her mum was going to die though and there was nothing Charlie could do. She pressed her face into her palms feeling emotion surge. When she finally raised her head she saw a child running in the distance. She stood up impulsively to look and recognised the blond hair. It was one of the kids Rosie was looking after. Charlie left her bag and headed towards her she shouldn't be out here alone at such a young age, it was dangerous. As she got closer she noticed how the child kept shaking her head, then she must have heard Charlie approach because she stopped suddenly looking up. Charlie stopped to when she noticed the heartbroken look on the girls face. She looked like she was in turmoil, much too young to look so conflicted. She decided to play it cool.

"Hey." Charlie said giving her a small smile, even though it hurt.

"I'm not going back!" The girl shouted determinedly.

"I'm not either." Charlie admitted shrugging.

The girl frowned. "But…."

"Got my bag packed up there." she pointed to the log. "Wanna sit with me before I go?"

The girl nodded and they walked up the small bank. Charlie lifted her onto it, went into her bag and pulled out a carton of juice and offered it to her. Ally took it gratefully and drank deeply.

Charlie meanwhile opened a can of coke and drank thoughtfully. "So where you going?"

Ally played with the straw on her drink unwilling to admit she didn't have anywhere to go.

Charlie nodded, "Ok." she whispered, "Why are you going then?" taking another drink.

"Why you going!" Ally replied insolently.

Charlie this time remained silent. She could see her mum and Danny up here in the past again, remembered how her mum said Danny supported her, maybe this girl needed help too. Thing was Danny was good at that stuff, sometimes all he had to do was hug her mum to make it better. Except this time he couldn't help anyone no matter how much he tried…and maybe she couldn't help this girl either. Still she found herself talking.

"My mum is dying." she admitted looking at the yellow grass protruding from the dust. It was the first time she had said the statement aloud and the words pierced her like swords. It felt like they were severing the once unbreakable bonds she shared with her mum.

"Oh…" the girl sighed. "My mum died too. My dad too it's just me and Gloria now." her little shoulders began to shake. Charlie put an arm around her, found herself doing the same as Danny had with her mum. Holding her while she sobbed. Charlie rubbed her hair gently like her mother did to her in the past.

"I'm Charlie by the way." she whispered. "Just in case you forgot."

"Ally." the little girl breathed. "Do you miss your mum?"

"She isn't gone yet. Or she might be I don't know. She's in hospital ill. I know that I will miss her though the thought of her gone makes me miss her already."

"I miss mine." Ally told her. "She was perfect, and so beautiful. With long blond hair and blue eyes. People say I look like her. Now Rosie is trying to be my mum and she can't! She is making me so angry!"

"Rosie isn't trying to be your mum." Charlie told her softly. "She is only trying to look after you."

Ally frowned.

"I don't have a dad, but then my mum met Danny and married him. He acted like my dad but he only became my dad when I let him. I still call him Danny and he doesn't mind coz he loves me."

"So Rosie will only be my mum if I let her?"

Charlie nodded.

Ally fidgeted with her fingers. "Are you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Of losing Danny? Of losing anyone else. I am…..what if…." she couldn't finish the sentence.

Charlie looked into the distance and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "No one can promise that you won't lose people, and that bad things won't happen but what people can promise is that they will try their best to make sure it doesn't happen and if it does that you will be cared for and loved. That was what your mum and dad did. They made sure Rosie and Max could look after you."

Ally nodded.

"It's ok to need them you know," Charlie told her. "I need Danny sometimes."

Ally frowned. "So why are you going then? If you need Danny?"

"I just have to." Charlie replied stiffly knowing that Ally was too young to understand.

"Ok." Ally nodded. "You know your mum is in hospital and you don't know if she is gone yet?"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you going to say goodbye?"

Charlie was silent again.

"I never got to say goodbye. I wish I did. That last night, it had been Gloria's birthday and by the time everything was tidied up it was really late, uncle Max stayed over in Gloria's room while she stayed in with me. Anyway it was too late for a story and I went to bed really mad even though daddy promised me two the next night. Then when we were asleep someone burned our house. Sometimes I think I would trade all the bedtime stories from uncle Max and Rosie for one more kiss off mum and dad. Even the chance to give them one more cuddle."

Charlie couldn't help but feel her heart break as she heard Ally talk to openly about what she wanted, tears filled her eyes.

"We lost everything from mum and dad, it was all burned. Mums perfume and dads comb, all out pictures. All we have is memories."

Tears were falling earnestly now. Charlie wiped them away. "C'mon lets go home."

"But…" Ally asked in question.

Charlie shook her head. "No I'm coming home. I need to say goodbye to my mum. I need to help Danny. My family need me and I need them." she exhaled. "Will you help me?"

Ally nodded and offered her hand.

Charlie took it. "Thank you." she said feeling like she had grown up drastically in the last ten minutes. Even with the new found maturity she felt within herself she still couldn't bring herself to let go of Ally's hand.

**A/N ok so charlie and ally are on their way home after helping each other heal, well a little bit. ally stopped charlie from running away and even concinced her to say goodbye to alice (i've wrote that bit and honestly i teared up :/) anyway what is it that rosie saw?  
>all will be revealed next chapter which (hopefully) will be up tonight. oh and i will defo have fluff up 2moro in the form of A-Z (I) i have an idea and if i dnt find time to write it im just gonna type it right up 2moro. x<strong>


	37. Miranda, Sarah, Alice

Rosie ran from the house towards the bloodied figure, she skidded to a stop in front of him. He was shaking his head as he walked wiping blood from his forehead and throwing the excess from his hand to the floor, teeth clenched tightly.

"God dad what happened?" she reached up to touch his face.

He side stepped her. "Nothing!"

She stared at him as more blood poured from a gash in his head and he limped slightly.

She felt her anger rise. "You crashed didn't you?" she demanded at his back. "You weren't paying attention and crashed!" How could he do this knowing what she had to deal with!

"No…" he told her bored not even turning back to her.

"For Christ's sake dad stop lying ok. You crashed!" she yelled furious.

He continued to walk away from her. She ran in front of him and put her hands on his chest. "Don't dare walk away from me!" she seethed. "It's about time we had this out!"

He moved her aside.

Rosie felt panic rise. This was so familiar it was scary. "I don't need this right now dad!" she yelled hands on her head. "I don't need to add worrying about you on top of everything else, I need you to stop this! Max is gone and I'm trying to raise two little girls, one who has ran away!" her voice raised. "DAD!"

He continued walking.

"Please dad!" she called after him. "Just stop this!"

When he once again acted like he hadn't heard her she put her face in her hands and a sob burst from her, in seconds she had changed it to anger, ok he wanted to be an asshole to her? She had no time for that or tears right now. She stomped over to him and grabbed his arm angrily. Spun him her eyes black, "If you are still a father, and I say IF then stay away from the living room. Liv Robbie and Gloria are in there you don't want to frighten them. Clean yourself up before Charlie sees you, she has enough on her plate, just like I did at her age." and she dropped his arm and left him.

Danny didn't say a word and Rosie wanted to scream as she watched him walk into the house.

As he walked through he went straight into the bathroom avoiding the living room as he went.

Meanwhile Rosie climbed in her truck and started it. She hated that her entire world seemed to be falling apart and although she wanted to rage and cry it wouldn't change anything. Once again it seemed that she had to be the one who took care of her dad when he couldn't do it himself. Why was it when her life seemed to be finding some semblance of happiness and stability things went wrong? Her first wedding to Max, Sarah died. She and Max got married and a few weeks later she lost their baby. She was about to graduate Uni and she lost her husband. She finds out that Alice is pregnant and her dad loses his home. She and Max were over and she was settling and they are forced back together after their best friends are murdered. Now Ally has ran away and her dad was turning into someone she didn't know.

She started the truck. Thing was those examples were only the big ones, there were so many small examples of things she'd lost over the years, sometimes she wondered why she even tried. Life was just too unfair! She turned the wheel and pressed the accelerator. When two small figures approached her in the distance, she took the keys from the truck and stepped out when she noticed it was Charlie and Ally. Rosie began a slow trek towards them, saw Charlie talking to Ally seriously. Ally was nodding sporadically, then looked up at Charlie with something akin to hero worship. So Ally had found herself a big sister to latch on to, she was happy it was Charlie she was a good kid and Ally needed someone right now.

Charlie glanced at Rosie and gave her a look in warning, shook her head gently.

Rosie nodded. "Thanks.' she mouthed.

Charlie nodded. 'She needs you." Charlie and Ally stopped in front of Rosie who knelt down.

"I'll be up at the house ok Al?" Charlie told the little girl.

"Ok Charls." Ally replied softly.

"Go to the living room Charlie." Rosie requested.

Charlotte frowned.

Rosie looked at her. "Please?"

Charlie nodded and walked in the direction of the house.

"You ok?" Rosie asked Ally.

Ally shrugged. "I spoke to Charlie about some stuff…. My mum." she added after a pause expecting some sort of reaction from Rosie, especially since she didn't go to her.

Rosie just nodded.

"Her mum is dying too. Why do mums die?" Ally asked seriously relieved that Rosie didn't mind about her talking to Charlie. "Charlie is sad and confused too like me, she understands how it feels."

Rosie stood up and took Ally's hand, it was time to show the little girl something. Rosie understood more than Ally knew. They walked a little way until they came to a black stone.

"What's this?" Ally asked.

"You know Liv?"

Ally nodded.

"Her mum passed away too. She died in a fire on this land about 7 years ago."

Ally's face slackened suddenly. "Like mine?" she gasped.

Rosie nodded, "She'd been my step mum for five years or there abouts." Ally stared at the stone so Rosie carried on. "Charlie's mum is ill, she's in hospital, my mum died in hospital too."

"You lost your mum and Liv's mum too?" Ally whispered shocked.

Rosie nodded, they moved away from Sarah's grave and sat on a rock.

"How old were you when your mum died? My age?" Ally asked.

"Nearly, I was eleven. Younger than Charlie and Liv."

Ally sat lost in thought. "Do you miss her? You're mum?"

Rosie nodded. "Every day." she remembered her mum hugging her during a hard time. "Even now I wish I could talk to her, ask her advice on stuff. I have my dad but a mum is different, a mum knows." Rosie looked at Ally. "I know Liv misses her mum too. She comes up here to talk to her. My mum used to love shopping so when its her birthday or just when I really miss her I have a wander around a shopping centre and buy some really expensive shoes in her honour."

"My mum used to love gardening." Ally whispered.

"If you want, when we have out own house we'll have a garden and you can plant some flowers. That can be your special place. You and Gloria can do it together."

Ally nodded.

They sat in silence staring at the sky as white clouds floated across the sky.

"Do you remember your mum?" Ally asked softly. "What she looked like. Sounded like. Stuff she liked? Do you remember it all?" her voice clearly anxious.

"A little bit." Rosie said softly. Not so much the older she got. It was blurry now, like a dream she couldn't quite remember but would never forget either.

"What if I forget her Rosie? What if I forget both of them? What will I do if I wake up one day and everything is gone?" her little chest heaving.

"You won't." Rosie promised. "You'll never forget her."

Ally was shuddering. "I wake in the middle of the night sometimes, so scared trying to remind myself of the way she laughed and smiled. I get so scared when I have to think hard."

Rosie took her hand. "Leave this to me ok, I'll find a way to sort this!"

Ally nodded. "Charlie said it's ok to need you." she said hesitantly.

"It is, its why I'm here."

"But what if you leave too?" Ally murmured looking away.

"If you worried about being alone please don't." her voice gentle. "I know that I can't say I won't leave coz your mum and dad didn't want to leave, but the older you get the more you come to see that things happen for a reason and what happened to them won't happen to us. And as for being alone, look at me, Charlie and Liv. We all the lost the same and we have each other and now you have us and we have you."

"And Uncle Max?"

Rosie nodded, "And Uncle Max.

"Do you love him?"

Rosie exhaled, having no idea how to answer that. "It's hard right now." or more like bloody complicated!

"I think you do. You're like mum and dad. They used to hide from us when they argued, like in cupboards." the little girl smiled. "Then dad would jump out and tickle us and mum would smile." tears filled Ally's eyes. Rosie put her arm around her. "You and Max aren't going to live together are you?"

"We might not in the future but we still love you both more than anything." Rosie promised. "And if we do live apart we'll still be there for you."

Ally nodded. "I want the two of you together, Gloria needs Max loads. She loved dad and she loves Max. Think about it." Ally not quite able to admit that she needed both of them too.

Rosie saw straight through her. "We'll see ok?"

"If you love him then you should be together. Mum and dad didn't have enough time together. Dad used to come in upset from work sometimes and mum used to say that the past doesn't make you're future and that things other people did in the past didn't mean they couldn't change and be good people again. And she said that if you're sad now you can't blame the past because you're the one who can't forget it. Dad was sad a lot from work." she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Your mum was so clever." Rosie whispered, could almost imagine Shona saying that to her, her friend was still helping her from beyond the grave. "She'd have said that to me you know. About your Uncle Max, let's go home and we'll look at houses for the four of us to live yeah? Make sure we have a big garden."

Ally nodded and for the first time willingly placed her hand in Rosie's.

(X)

Danny walked from the bathroom holding some blood soaked toilet roll to his head. He had searched high and low for the first aid kit and it was no where to be found, sods law! It was there when he wasn't looking for it! Now he had to go down to his surgery to clean himself up. He turned towards the door and saw Charlie staring at him eyes wide, frowning, face clearly troubled.

"Danny?" she whispered almost losing her voice. "What happened?" came out a squeak.

He resisted the urge to swear. "The brakes on the truck failed."

She shook her head. "But Dupe checks the trucks weekly coz of the rough terrain. I saw him check the trucks on Friday." her brow furrowed deeper and her face became more fearful. "What are you trying to do? Do you want…..are you…." he saw her chest begin to visibly move as she inhaled and exhaled quickly.

"Charlie sweetheart I can't stay here in case Liv, Robs or Gloria sees me. YOU weren't supposed to see me."

"Tell me then were you trying to join mum?"

His eyes widened. "No sweetie I wasn't, I'd never leave you like that!"

She walked towards him, took his wrist and led him from the house, off the veranda and down to the surgery, he began to tell her to go in the living room but she halted him with a look her mother had gave him so often in the past. He knew better than to argue with a Collins woman when she wore that look!

When they arrived in the surgery she released him and went into the office. He followed and saw down. She got the first aid kit, he tried to take it but she kept it from his reach. She grabbed the antiseptic wipes then left the room, came in carrying bandages they used for animals. She opened the wipes.

"Mum uses these on me." she told him.

"They hurt." he muttered under his breath.

"She said it cleans it." and she wasted no time in wiping the wound.

He hissed loudly.

"Don't be a baby." she rolled her eyes.

Danny meanwhile couldn't muster a reply. She had sounded so much like Alice there. He flash backed to when he and Alice were searching for the wild dog and she was cleaning his head. He told her she'd be a excellent dentist and she hurt him. 'You are such a wimp.' echoed. He found himself smiling through the pain. He watched her, her face concentrated as she ripped open a bandage. She had her mums dark hair, her shape face. He knew she had her smile too, warm, genuine and reassuring in times of trouble.

"You are so much like your mother." he told her softly still staring.

She looked up hesitantly, some hair fell in front of her face and he moved it aside smiling.

"Am I?" she whispered. "Really?" almost like she didn't believe him.

He could see the disbelief in her eyes and it hit him how hard it must be to live up to Alice. She was everything, a strong independent person who managed to get through a degree even though she was pregnant. Anything she set her mind to she completed, and Charlie here was worried about how she could match her mothers own high standards.

"Yeah you are." he told her sincerely taking the bandage and opening the correct one and using a dry wipe to clean around the wound. "You have her colour hair, you have her smile, you sound to much like her it's like she's standing right here talking, even without the accent it's the way you say things. Then there's her stubbornness and her tenaciousness, I could list millions of ways you're like her."

Charlottes face crumpled suddenly. "She's too young Danny." Charlie whispered sadly. "There's too much for us to do yet. Too much she won't see now."

"I know," he replied heart aching.

"You can't be doing this to us!" she told him angrily motioning to his head. "WE need you! Robbie needs you, Rosie and Liv need you and I need you too. Don't you know what it does to us seeing you in this way? I almost ran away again you know."

He sat up straighter but she ploughed on.

"I would have been long gone but Ally found me and convinced me not to because people need me and I need them. We can be strong Danny, but only if we see you being strong. We can grieve too if we see you grieve. Don't cut yourself off from us." her eyes filled. "I'm sorry about what I said, I know you love my mum." tears fell. "I just don't know what I'm going to do without her."

"You'll be fine." his voice hoarse from the lump in his throat. "I promise ok. You know why you'll be fine? Coz your mum is here in you."

"And Robbie." Charlie added. "So she'll never fully be gone right?"

Danny nodded and hugged her tightly to him.

"I want to go see mum." she whispered against his chest. "To say goodbye."

He nodded. "I'll arrange it." then he released her. "Why don't you run up to the house and get some dinner."

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat a little bit, for me please?"

Charlie swallowed. "I'll try."

He stroked her cheek. "That's my girl." lowered his hand. "Don't run away again either. I'm here for you."

"Ok." she headed for the door. She turned back. "Thank you Danny."

"What for?"

"Crying." she told him, then left.

Danny raised his hand to his cheeks and found them wet with tears.

(X)

After Danny finally stopped his head bleeding he approached the house, walked inside and found Rosie, Liv, Charlie and the kids all sat at the table. Rosie sat with Ally doing a puzzle, Ally was trying to force a piece in a place that wouldn't fit. Rosie had her arm around her waist laughing. Liv sat with Gloria and they were using glue to make a collage Liv was beaming like a proud Aunt at Gloria's handiwork and Charlie sat reading with Robbie a half eaten sandwich beside her, he was trying to turn the page and she helped him. "Impatient Robbie." she told him. "There still a little bit left on this page."

Danny had never noticed before how these three young woman had blossomed. Rosie almost identical to her mother, he said almost as he could see himself clearly especially in her attitude. She had grown up so much, now she was a mother herself, and stronger then he could ever be.

Liv identical to Sarah in every way. In the way she looked, moved and acted. She had worked so hard overcoming all the issues she'd ended up with by the death of her mother. She had came through all that stronger than before, again stronger then he could ever be.

And Charlie, there were traces of Alice in everything Charlie did. She was about to start a difficult path and yet here she was putting on a brave face for her brother, even though barely ten minutes before she'd been in tears. Once again, his daughter stronger then he could ever be.

They all looked up at him at the same time and for a second Miranda, Sarah and Alice were staring at him, all of them unblinking, all accusing, and in that second he knew the path he had taken had been wrong. He'd put too much strain on Rosie, who had so much to deal with already. He'd been unfair not to cry for Charlotte who so obviously needed to see that it was ok to cry and he hadn't helped or even considered the effect this would be having on Liv. She tried so hard to prove she was strong but she was still that little girl who lost her mother in so many ways. He walked towards them. Rosie looked at her sisters, whispered to Ally then stood up face mutinous. She approached him and halted him before he reached halfway down the hallway. She always was the protector.

"We are busy." she told him reasonably, although her tone was like ice. Miranda would be so proud.

"I've spoke to Charlie."

"You couldn't have. She isn't in tears." eyes narrowed.

Ouch, low blow! "Rosie before….

She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down the hallway. "Don't pile more of your crap on me dad, I told you before…."

He put his hand on her cheek which halted her venomous statement. "I know." he told her softly. "I know you have so much on your plate right now, I want you to know that I'm here when you need to cool off. To talk to. To look after the girls. Anything. I know you think you have to be strong all the time but you don't need to be ok?"

She eyes him mistrustfully and it killed him that he had put that look in her eyes.

"You were right before. I was driving, I was upset and angry and…" he exhaled and shook his head. "I wasn't paying attention and I hit a tree. I came back here hating life, hating everything. I wasn't thinking about the five best parts of my life. You and your brothers and sisters." he took her face in both of his hands. "I am thinking now ok! You are all I'm thinking about." he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and dropped his hands to his sides. "I'm here for you Rosie, wherever you need me I'm here. You concentrate on that you need to and leave all the rest to me."

"And when Alice dies?" she asked simply. "Does this all apply then? Or am I left the pick up all the pieces when you fall apart again. You're staying true to form dad."

He flinched but found himself strangely calm. "I'll be hurt and upset but I'll be here. You'll all need me more then so that is where I'll be."

"Ok dad." she told him. "Just don't let me down." still only half believing. She had already lived through this twice. She moved aside and let him go to her sisters. They had watched with interest. Liv shocked when Rosie practically threw him down the hallway.

Danny meanwhile had walked straight to Liv. "if you need someone Livvie you don't have to phone Evan, I'm here." and he kissed her head. "Charlie when you are ready we can go."

"Dupe and Caroline are having a visit right now." Rosie told him sitting beside Ally again. "We have decided to go as a family, the three of us."

"Sisters stick together." Liv added.

Danny nodded and looked at them again. Even though they were only thrown together through him they were now bonded stronger than any blood ties could match.

(X)

Danny sat in the car with his family. Liv sat beside him in the front seat subdued while Charlotte and Robbie were in the back. Since Robbie was napping Charlie too was staring out a window lost in thought. Rosie wanted to be here but realised since Max was gone she couldn't leave her girls and no disrespect to Caroline and Dupe but the girls didn't know them. Rosie was only just beginning to make headway with Ally and she was loathe to do anything to jeopardise that. On top of that Rosie was working on something for the girls, she had been on the phone on and off to Shona's friends and she had also been printing things off in the study, Rosie was a good mother to the girls, doing so well but it was obvious that the stress was starting to get to her.

Meanwhile Liv and Charlie were coping with him to say goodbye to Alice. Liv was moral support for Charlie more than anything, he got the feeling that Liv felt so uncomfortable but knew that Charlie needed her. The closer they got to the hospital the tenser Liv became. His eyes met Charlie in the rear view mirror as the hospital came into view she stared at the building where her mother lay wondering what room she currently occupied.

No one was in with Alice at the moment. Dupe had became incredibly upset when he realised that Alice wasn't going to miraculously recover and he told Caroline he was heading over to Souters game reserve…..Danny knew he was going to declare war. Caroline had came home when the doctors came to check on Alice's condition. She said she didn't want to stay incase it had worsened. The only reason Caroline and Dupe were allowed into to see her as they had claimed to be her parents, close family only at the moment.

He picked up his son from the car seat and they walked inside, Liv beside Charlie whispering in her ear. Charlie's face was becoming more and more broken the deeper they went.

"Hey why don't you three go sit in a relatives room while I go see if the doctors are still with her?" Danny asked.

Charlie nodded vigorously needing time to centre herself. Liv nodded too and took Robbie from his arms. After leaving them in a room promising he won't be long he walked towards Alice's room. Charlie's apprehensive face never leaving his mind. Poor girl was terrified at what she was going to see. Liv had forced a smile as he had left and Robbie, bless him had no idea what was going on, he was beginning to wonder if that was a blessing.

He walked to Alice's room and out a hand on the door and opened it….his blood ran cold when he saw the room was empty, the bed stripped. He was certain this was Alice's room as he recognised the painting on the wall. It was of green hills and yellow flowers and reminded him of a place on his land where he and Alice used to frequent when they needed some time alone. It had been crooked too, and it still was. The flowers were hanging to the left instead of the middle…someone should fix that he thought hysterically.

"Are you Mr Trevanion?" a voice asked.

He turned and looked at a tiny nurse.

"The painting." he squeaked. "I'll fix it…." he walked in raising his arms.

"Mr Trevanion?" she repeated.

He closed his eyes and nodded his arms limp at his sides.

"Yes." he breathed.

"We're sorry, we tried to get in contact with you but…."

**A/N 2 Chappies in one to make up for the update i was supposed to do last night.  
>Anyway very full chappie Rosie losing her cool with her dad then talking to Ally. Charlie helping danny pull himself together (her little speech about being strong and grieving...bless her!) then Rosie trying to protect her sisters, (she didn't half give danny a hard time!) finally they go to see Alice and ^^ :'( how r they gonna take this? x<strong>


	38. Shield

Danny felt his heart literally lurch then stop beating in his chest. Every cell in his body was attuned to this moment. The nurse was about to tell him, that Alice was dead and it took everything within himself not to run from her screaming that she was wrong, that Alice would never die. If he had that option he would run as far and as fast until no one knew his name and would never utter those fateful words….I'm sorry for your loss. He couldn't though, he has his kids….so focus Danny….focus on your kids. They need you!

"We're sorry, we tried to get in contact with you but we failed, your wife…."

Had died he finished feeling sick.

"….has been moved to a different room, we have an electrical problem which was affecting some of the machinery."

His breath left him in a rush. "Wh…wh….what?" he gasped hand clutching his chest.

The nurse realised her mistake and her hand rushed to her mouth. "Your wife has been moved to another room."

"So she's still alive?" so scared he felt about five seconds from passing out.

"Yes sir, I'll take you too her."

Danny walked on unsteady legs quietly allowing his heartbeat to return to a regular rhythm, they had only moved her, she wasn't dead yet!

"She seems to be fighting Mr…."

"Danny." he croaked, hardly believing that the broken voice he heard was his own.

"Danny. She finished. "We have had other case of Anthrax recently and they have all succumbed in hours. The doctors are shocked to be honest."

"That's Alice." he breathed. "A fighter until the very end. Determined to do things in her own time, not allowing anyone to dictate anything to her."

The nurse heard his love for Alice in his voice. "Have you two been married long?"

"Not long enough." he told her sadly. "We've been together six years and married two of those." he shook his head. "Feels longer, like I've known her my whole life but at the same time it feels like the length of a blink."

The nurse nodded. "Here's her room."

Danny nodded. "Thank you."

She left and he walked inside the new room, everything was pretty much the same as it had been in the old room. He looked at her in the bed, this time he was ready for the sight of her, still didn't make it any easier seeing her like that. He walked to her and took her hand.

"I'm going to get Charlie, Liv and Robbie, if you decide to wake up between now and then no one will mind. We'll all be relieved…." understatement. "….overjoyed actually. So if you can yeah?" he asked softly. He raised her hand and pressed his lips to the back of it. Held it there for a beat….the whooshing of the ventilator was hypnotising he shook his head and left the room and he collected his children. He found them sat in the same seats as he left them. Liv looked up at him while Charlie's head was bowed.

"Don't suppose mum has woke up." Charlie asked without raising her head.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." he replied.

She exhaled and rubbed her face, stood up quickly, stiffened her back and pasted a determined look on her face. "You guys ready?"

Liv stood beside her and put her arm around her shoulders while she held Robbie. "You don't have to pretend with us, we know your strong but you can also need us." Liv told her.

Charlie looked at her and her face cracked a little. She nodded then headed for the door and walked outside. Liv was about to follow when Danny halted her, he lifted Robbie from her arms. "You ok?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Livvie?" he only ever used that name when he knew she was upset but wouldn't tell him

Her arms raised bewildered, her gesture indicating that she didn't know. "Everything is so messed up right now." she told him.

"It is, but it will settle down."

"Yeah but Alice will be gone and we'll all be missing someone else. I hate this Danny!"

He gave her a quick hug which she returned gratefully.

"You still have me," he told her light-heartedly.

She nodded. "I'll always have you." then she released him and joined Charlie outside.

He led the way to Alice's room, they all walked in silence knowing no small talk would make the tense atmosphere dissipate. They reached the room and he halted them. He rubbed his forehead. "Now look you two." he exhaled heavily. "I know you think you are gonna walk in there and see Alice looking all normal but you won't."

"What are we going to see?" Charlie asked hesitantly.

"Machinery."

Charlie's eyes widened.

"Sorry darling I didn't mean it like that, it's just your mum is hooked up to a ventilator because she can't breath very well by herself. Then there are things to monitor her heart, lungs, kidneys. She's not looking good sweetie and I don't want you going in there thinking she is gonna look like you remember her. I want you both to prepare yourself."

Charlie nodded, inhaled deeply and straightened her back. "I'm ready." her face one of up most seriousness.

Liv nodded an agreement.

He wished he was ready! He wished he didn't have to do this. His body felt sensitised to everything. The lights and colours were sharper and brighter. Sounds louder and shriller. The weight of Robbie in his arms was the only thing stopping him from floating away, he sighed as Liv and Charlie looked at him expectedly.

"Do it Danny." Liv whispered for his ears only.

He clutched the handle and led them inside, Liv and Charlie trooped in behind him, he made no sound as he shut the door behind him. Liv's face was stoic as she looked at Alice's pale form. Charlie had her hand over her mouth trying so hard not to break down and sob. He went to her and hugged her to his side. She buried her face in his shirt, her shoulders shaking.

"Liv?" he whispered.

She nodded still staring at Alice. "I'm ok. It's just not right seeing her being so still." she whispered.

Charlie was still pressing her face in his side.

He lowered his head. "Do you want to say something to your mum?" he asked.

"Now I'm here I don't know what to say." she admitted. "I thought if I saw her I'd know. I thought if I saw her I could prove that the doctors were wrong, that she'd know I was here and wake up somehow." he felt his shirt becoming wet. "But everything you said is true and its not fair!"

"It isn't fair." he agreed. "Why don't you go over and take her hand?"

"But she's…."

"I know she'll know you're here. She'll know its you."

She considered it. "Will you take Robbie first? I need five."

Danny nodded, as soon as he moved Liv went over to Charlie and wrapped her in a tight hug, her arms shielding her head. He heard whispering.

Danny went to Alice and placed Robbie's tiny hand on top of her limp one. He then paced his own on top of them,

"I promise he'll know you Alice." he whispered. "He'll know everything there is to know and you know what? He'll grow up and be proud to call himself your son. I know this isn't the life you wanted for him but both of us know how unfair life can be. If it was fair then things like this wouldn't happen." he looked at Robbie and found him staring down at his mum with unblinking eyes. "He loves you Alice and he knows you love him too." he took Robbie's hand and pressed it against Alice's face softly then took him over to Liv. She had released Charlie and took the baby.

"You thought of something?"

Charlie shrugged.

"You want to be alone while you say it."

Charlie looked at him, then Liv slowly and knew that more than anyone else they knew exactly how she felt. "No." she shook her head. "Stay." she then moved slowly towards her mum. She stood by her side and took her hand, inhaled deeply.

"Whenever I think back about the times before Leopards Den I always wonder how you did it, looking after me by yourself while working and all the rest of it. To be honest I don't remember a great deal of it, its fuzzy. Saying that there is one thing I remember vividly. It was the fact that is was me and you, the two of us against the world, a team. that's how its always been. You protecting me and even though you didn't know it I promised to protect you too, and I guess in my own little ways I thought I did. Blanking Terry if he yelled at you. Hitting someone at school who dared to say a bad word about you. I thought by doing this I was a shield of sorts. I was wrong, so wrong. Then we arrived at leopards Den and you met Danny and I knew things were gonna change, see you looked different when you smiled at him. They seemed realer somehow and I hated that. Suddenly he was your shield, your proper shield, and i was jealous, it had been only me and you for so long." Chalrie was thoughtful for a moment. "I never told you this but I knew you loved him before you did you know, that is how well we knew each other. I knew you loved him from the second you shook his hand by the truck. Your eyes told me before you even realised it." she sniffed and bit her lip. "What I didn't understand back then was how he changed you for the better, he showed you real love, the kind between someone who you trust more than anything, the kind of love between a husband and wife, I couldn't give you that no matter how hard I tried." she was silent for anohter moment. "Things are going to change again," she started quietly. "These changes will be harder than any others that I faced in the past. Back then I thought I was losing you to Danny, now I AM losing youto something far worse and I will be facing the world by myself, but even though it will be only me standing against the hard world I know I'm not alone. You gave me family, I have a dad and brothers and sisters but the greatest gift you ever gave me was your strength. So don't worry about me, I know you will but you don't have to. I'm Charlotte Collins Trevanion and I'm strong because that is what my mum taught me to be. I'm loyal because that's what she taught me to be and I can love because that is what she taught me to do. I know that there are going to be dark sad times ahead and although it kills me that I have to go through them I know that whenever I cry or shout or want to break something you'll be by my side and that is where you'll stay because that is how it is, it's me and you. Always." she sighed and pressed her face against her mums hand and closed her eyes. "I love you mum, I never told you enough when you were here. So I'm telling you now, and I'll tell you everyday in the future so make sure your listening." she bent low and kissed her mothers cheek then hugged her tightly as she lay still.

Danny stood watching with tears streaming down his face, he looked and saw Liv literally sobbing in the corner of the room. He went to her and hugged her tightly. "It's alright Livvie." he said through tears.

"H…how can you s…say that?" she stammered sobs choking her. "It's her a…and Alice n….now…"

"Because she has us Liv. We will get her through this."

Danny readjusted Robbie who was trying to grab a fistful of Liv's hair.

Charlie meanwhile was finished hugging her mum and was smoothing her rumpled covers "When you go on this next journey you might feel alone but your not." she whispered. "Because while your beside me I'm beside you too. I'm still your shield." smoothed a hand across her mums hair. "I just wish you didn't have to go." gave her mum one last loving look then turned towards Danny. Saw the tears on his face and Liv inconsolable. "Um…." she squeaked.

Liv pulled free from Danny, as soon as she was close enough she grabbed Charlie pulled her to her and hugged her fiercely. "You're not alone!" she promised. "You have all of us."

Charlotte closed her eyes taking the comfort offered.

"Anytime you need me, Rosie or Danny we are here. You and Alice aren't alone anymore."

Charlotte nodded. "I know."

Liv composed herself.

"Do you want to say anything?" Charlie asked her.

"I'm just sorry for how our relationship began and I wish I had let her in earlier. I was Rosie like when I first met her…" Liv glanced at Danny who nodded.

Charlie frowned.

"Rosie and my mum didn't get along too well. Rosie provoked her pretty much all the time. I did the same with Alice."

"Oh, its ok. She knows you loved her." Charlie assured before Danny could speak up. "She loved you as much as me. Same with Rosie and Evan even though she spent less time with him."

Silence fell. "C'mon I'd better get you three home." Danny told them. "Charlie what you said was beyond words, so beautiful."

"I just said what I felt."

"Well Alice would be so proud of you. Both of you." he knew that Liv would be speaking to Alice through her mum. She wasn't as open as others and would say her goodbye in private. He knew it would be as heartfelt as Charlie's. "You ok now Liv?" he asked.

She nodded. He opened the door, Charlie walked to it, stopped and looked back at her mum. "Goodbye mum." she whispered.

Liv remained by Alice's bed. She bent down quickly to hug her then left the room. Danny nodded at her after she glanced up at him as she passed. After the kids had left he looked at his wife for a second hoping to see her move….or do anything. When she didn't he felt his heart break, if that didn't wake her nothing will. He closed his eyes for a second then shook his head, focused his mind on the task at hand, taking his children home. He didn't think of anything after that, one thing at a time was all he could handle.

**A/N Ok my bad I kinda hinted that she died….but hey I didn't kill her….yet. Charlie's speech, so sweet bless her, this had me welling up when I wrote it (sounded better then than now for some reason :/) anyway there is a little way to go yet and my deadline of the 24****th**** just isn't going to happen  
>and sorry I promised you fluff, I will honestly try. I have my idea I just feel sort of fluffless atm x <strong>


	39. Everything

Danny had taken the girls home and although he knew he had to get back to Alice he was also a father and had his son and daughters to think of. So he stayed at home, played and spent time with Robbie, something he had done a lot of lately. Talked at length to Liv about everything that was worrying her, which seemed to have helped marginally….well her he was worried about one of her comments. Were they going to lose Charlie to Michael after Alice died. He was ready to fight the courts for her but his last experience of that hadn't been very successful. Liv knew that as well as he did, so he did the only thing he could. He promised that he would find a way to keep her with him, even running away like he had with Evan.

After that he spent time with Rosie who still didn't quite believe that he would be fine, she was waiting for the crack up which had happened with Miranda and Sarah. So she had half ignored him while he got to know Ally and Gloria. He made sure to stick to neutral questions as he knew that Ally hadn't started counselling yet. After a little while when the girls were used to him Rosie had dashed to hospital to say what she had to Alice. He was heading back soon, he was trying not to think too far ahead, when he did he was reminded of the fact that his future was missing one very important feature….Alice. As the thoughts of his empty future began to press down on him he began to feel like he was suffocating. He shook his head.

Charlie seemed to be holding up well all things considered. She had taken little Ally under her wing and was like a mother hen making sure she was talking and eating. Ally even though she grumbled good naturedly seemed to be grateful for it. Thanks to the amount she spoke to Charlie she seemed to be more receptive to Rosie too, Charlie knew when she was getting crabby and intervened. After that Ally was like a little lamb, his daughters family seemed to be gelling at last….only Max had disappeared!

And even with everything that had happened everyone in his family was trying to regain the easy stability they had in the past….while all he wanted was Alice to be sat here beside him, loving everything about it like she always had. But he was here, sat in this living room alone. A truck pulled to a stop outside, he walked slowly and saw an enraged Rowan standing halfway up the stairs.

"Alice is at…." Danny bgean

Rowan stood in front of him and moved lightning quick.

Danny was blindsided by a hard punch side of his face, he wobbled but remained upright.

"This is your fault!" Rowan shouted shaking. "She was safe in London!" Rowan swung again but this time Danny was ready for it and jumped back. "Rowan."

Rowan took a menacing step forward and swung again face determined. Danny grasped his arm and turned him, thrust the arm up his back. Rowan yanked and pulled trying to free himself.

"I know you are upset but this isn't the time or the place!" Danny murmured coldly.

"I should have done this as soon as I found out Alice was in love with you!" he seethed. "Then maybe she wouldn't be here! I knew you were bad for her!"

"Rowan I'm sorry…."

"No you're not!" he cried. "How could you be? See when she's gone it'll be wife number four, just like you did with the last two…" his voice cracked and broke. "BUT she is all I have! My only family!"

Danny would have felt sorry for Rowan had his words not cut him like a knife, was that really how little Rowan thought he loved Alice. As he stared into Rowans face he saw the truth in his eyes and felt the urge to kill, oh yes it was very hard to feel anything but hatred for this man right now! He didn't even want to be near him and pushed him from him like he was contaminated. Rowan slid across the floor.

"Never talk about my feelings for Alice like that - EVER OK!" he shouted fists clenched.

Rowan scrambled to his feet. "Why not? It's true!"

Danny wanted to hit Rowan, to punch. To choke. To force him to stop saying these things. "Rowan don't!" he seethed rage throbbing in every pore of his body.

"Don't what?" Rowan carried on. "Don't voice what I bet everyone is thinking, and if they weren't they are now! Who will it be this time Danny? A new vet? A employee or someone closer to home. Nomsa maybe?"

Danny had his fists clenched about to spring at Rowan, he couldn't take much more.

"Get out of here Rowan." he advised.

"Sarah was gone a year before Alice came along. How long til you forget her Danny. How long til your love expires? How long until she is a memory, until Robbie has a new mum. Tell me will he know her or will wife number four just pick up where she left off coz that is what you do isn't it?"

Danny saw red, he wasn't thinking as he launched at Rowan. He impacted his midsection and they were rolling around the veranda. Danny gained supremacy and was above Rowan , he made a tight fist and aimed to smash it in Rowans face. Rowan moved in the final second and Danny felt his fist explode on the wood. Although his fist screamed in pain he grabbed two hand fuls of Rowans shirt and yanked his face closer. "Don't think that this isn't killing me like this is killing you ok!" he seethed angrier then he could ever remember being, his voice and eyes wild. "Don't think because I've lost two other wives that this is easier for me coz it isn't." he shook him a little. "I know what comes next ok! I know about grieving kids and planning funerals and sympathy! And I know about wanting to be left alone and people ignoring that!" the full extent of his grief and rage began to seep from him and there was nothing he could do to stop it, it seemed Rosie was right, he was gonna lose it! "You're losing your sister but I'm losing everything Rowan, EVERYTHING! She is my kids mother, my partner, my colleague and best friend. My prop, my laughter, my compass and guide, my love, my WIFE!" he dropped Rowan to the floor as he felt the strength ebb from his body. He crawled to the door and curled in on himself. His arms wrapped around his head as he rocked. "I'm losing my wife." burst from him as sobs began to echo on the veranda. "I can't do this anymore, I'm not strong enough." tears trickling down his face.

Rowan heard his sobs and he stared at Danny jaw slack.

"I….I…" Rowan began finally understanding why Alice loved him. Alice loved Danny because he was utterly devoted to her. Here was a man falling apart. "Danny…." he whispered.

Danny either hadn't heard him or acted like it because he remained rocking slowly backwards and forwards rhythmically.

Rowan found himself crawling over and awkwardly put an arm around his shoulder. Danny didn't move or even acknowledge him.

"She um….she always missed mum." Rowan croaked. "Suppose she'll see her now." he frowned. "Mum will go mad though." he inhaled deeply. "And dad….eh…well my dad…." he trailed off and rubbed his head, he had to know something. "Did she know Danny? Did she know how much her big brother loved her."

This time it was Rowans voice which was breaking and his sobs which filled the area. Danny finally came to life and wrapped his arms around Rowan. They were wrapped up sobbing on the other shoulder. Dupe walked out wondering what the commotion was about and his jaw dropped at the sight which greeted him, another time this would have been ammo he could have used against Danny for life but not now. He wouldn't use this mans pain and suffering against him. He walked inside and closed the door allowing the men to grieve.

**A/N Poor danny, Rowan was a dick but i felt sorry for him at the end :/ this chappie wasn't originally supposed to go like this, i was inspired by caitlins reviews by her saying she wanted danny to punch Rowan. What originally was supposed to hapen was Rowan was gonna give danny a hiding, but then i had a think and it didn't seem to work, then i came up with the danny falling apart and rowan seeing what he caused.  
>Anyway just a short update, i know this might feel like it is is dragged out but i have wrote the first half of the chapter where you find out if Alice is alive or dead so stay tuned i think 2 chappies (ish) x<strong>


	40. Destructive

Charlie stood at the living room window staring at her uncle and the closest thing she had to a dad and felt a feeling of dread settle deep within her stomach, it brought a sick acidic feeling with it and she rubbed her stomach trying to settle it. They were fighting because of what happened to her mum. She wished her mum was here, she'd know how to sort all this out. Why was all this happening to them? What had they done that was so wrong?

Everything was messed up! She was conscious of the fact that Rosie and Liv were trying to take her under their wing at Danny's insistence no doubt. But why? The three of them were all different, the only similarity that they shared was the loss of their mothers but even the circumstances there were different, with Rosie it had been terminal illness and Liv's had been bad luck really….and stupidity although if she said that out loud Liv was likely to snap her in half! And added to that was that they weren't even close, yeah they were civil, talked and stuff at dinner but they weren't close, they weren't even close in age either! She supposed that Rosie and Liv might be close now but she wasn't and to be honest she didn't want to be, at the moment she wanted to be left alone. She wasn't big on crying on anyone's shoulder except her mum and if that is what they thought was going to happen then they were sorely mistaken.

She glanced out of the window again and saw her uncle and Danny still crying and the acid that had settled in her stomach began to rise and she thought she was going to be sick. Danny didn't cry like this often, but what really hit her was her uncle Rowan, he never got emotional, never cried! So to see him in such a state in front if another man was like totally unreal! When did home become this? Home was the place where they drank beer and laughed while Dupe charred meat. Home was the place her mum and Danny sat snuggled up together just talking and smiling like they used to in the past and when Charlie looked at them she would see the pure love they felt for the other shining in their eyes.

'_You wanted to come back!' _a malicious voice reminded.

Charlie froze frowning. "But I…." she whispered to herself.

'_Your mum wanted to stay in London but NO you had to come here and choose Danny over her yet again!'_

"I didn't choose Danny!" Charlie whispered frantically. "I just…."

_This is YOUR fault! The reason why Danny and Rowan are out there losing their mind is all on you!'_

"No….no…" and although Charlie frantically whispered those denials to herself she knew deep inside her that it was true. She had almost forced her mum to come back here and because she did her mother was dying. If only she'd liked it in London, if only she'd been able to make friends and settle…if…if…if…so many ifs!

Liv walked passed the living room and saw Charlie waging an internal battle, her expression slowly becoming more distraught as the seconds ticked by.

"Charlie are you ok?" she asked frowning slightly.

Liv stepped in the living room as Charlie continued standing in the same place lost in her mind, then the young girl looked at her with raw pain in her eyes. Liv went to her. "Charlotte?"

Charlie sniffed an shook her head. "I'm fine." her whole body quivering.

Liv knelt down so they were face to face. "No your not." Liv said softly. "I can see it in your face, in your eyes. So tell me whatever it is." she urged softly knowing that whatever Charlie was worrying about centred around Alice.

"I….am….fine…." Charlotte's teeth clenched trying to control the emotions warring inside of her.

"Charlie it's ok to cry over your mum if you need to."

"I know." Charlotte's voice cold. An image of her mum materialised in her mind, she stood at the living room door pointing at her accusingly. She spun trying to escape it but no matter where she turned her mum was there, she was surrounded…..

Liv grasped her shoulders and made her face her. "Charlie talk to me."

"NO!" she shouted the grief and anger inside winning. "Coz you wouldn't understand!"

Liv remained calm. "Try me."

Charlie again shook her head trying to shove her away. "No, if I tell you you'll blame me. Everyone will blame me." tears starting to fall. "I blame me!" the strength left her upper body and she covered her face with her hands and wept.

"Blame you for what?" Liv asked after the loud sobs subsided.

Charlotte kept her face obscured and remained silent.

"Blame you for what?" Liv repeated, moved her hands from her arms down to her wrists. Gently lowered Charlie's hands so they could face each other.

Charlie looked around frantically for an escape, when she saw it was futile and that Liv wasn't going to let her go she found her head drooping. "For killing my mum." she murmured. "It was all my fault Liv…." she trailed off unable to finish.

"What?" Liv's face pale.

"It's my fault she's here Liv, I came home with Danny. If I stayed where I was then she'd till be in London, and she wouldn't have caught Anthrax there."

Liv shook her head. "Charlie…."

"She is dying because she is here Liv, don't deny it!"

"Yeah and she might have died in London too. She could have been hit by a bus, or mugged, fire, terrorist attack. Any number of things, when its your time its your time no matter where you are!"

"She wouldn't have caught Anthrax in London Liv!" he voice steely. "And that is what is taking her from us!"

"Charlie you aren't the cause of this!" Liv repeated with more passion than before.

"But…"

Liv placed her hands on her shoulders and looked in her eyes trying to stop Charlie from where she was going, Liv had been here and it nearly destroyed her! "Don't go down this route Charlie I've been there and its destructive. Your mums death is not and will never be your fault!"

Charlotte was frowning. "What do you mean you've been on this route?"

Liv exhaled and stood up walked over to the window and found herself looking to the spot where her mother lay. "On the day I lost my mum there was a bush fire, she ran into the smoke looking for Jana."

Charlie nodded. "I know, Danny told us about the dangers…."

"What you don't know is why she had to look for Jana." her voice almost a whisper. She could remember that day so clearly. The intense heat, the smell of the smoke heavy in the air, everywhere she looked people running around their fear clear to see and her mother in the midst of it all….. She turned to face Charlie. "The fire was being contained around the house which everyone was happy about but it was heading towards the fences, and Mara. We all went to fight it. Mum told me and Evan to stay away but we went anyway. Jana climbed in the truck with us. When we arrived it all started going mad, people running around, loud noises. Something spooked Jana and she ran off into the fire." she swallowed thickly. "Mum didn't think, just followed her…." Liv inhaled shakily. "If it wasn't…."

Charlie went to her and put her hand over Liv's mouth. "Don't! That's just a lot of bad circumstances."

Liv raised her eyebrows indicating that she couldn't speak right now.

Charlie realised she was still gagging Liv. "Sorry." she whispering while lowering it.

"Charlie your mum knew the risks as a vet! She wouldn't want you blaming yourself." especially since Alice was partially at fault for not keeping up with her vaccinations.

"It's hard Liv." Charlie admitted.

"I know and there are times that I feel so guilty I want to scream and when you feel like that just remember that your mum loves you and would never blame you. She wouldn't never blame you for wanting your dad."

Charlie nodded and hugged Liv tightly.

Dupe popped his head in after hearing every word. Liv and Charlie had their eyes closed both experiencing their own personal pain. He knew that Sarah was still a very raw subject for Liv and she almost never discussed it so talking like that would have been like reopening a scar that hadn't healed fully. He looked at the girls wishing he could do something for them, he'd never felt this powerless before. The whole family was losing it he thought leaving the girls in private. The glue which had held them together was disappearing. Danny and Rowan coming to blows then sobbing outside. Liv and Charlie experiencing guilt and pain the living room even Nomsa and Caroline had cried openly in the babys room while putting Robbie to sleep, he heard it through the baby monitor. He stopped at the door of the study and found himself doing something he had never done before. He put his hands together and he closed his eyes.

"Make her pull through." he prayed. "Please I'll do anything, just stop this."

**A/N awww Liv and Charlie...and poor dupe :/  
><strong>**So sorry about the lack of update, going back to uni is so busy and stressful :/ and it doesn't help when the timetable is still messed up! Eugh! Anyway gonna dash off and read caitlins update and then type up somemore while i have time (hopefully will get another chappie up tonight)...the moment of truth is approaching...  
>OH and i had a change of heart about what happens to alice while listening to pinks new album today so does that mean she lives? Or dies? stay tuned. x<strong>


	41. Say Goodbye

Danny and Rowan were sat on the veranda, neither man was crying anymore they simply remained seated without saying a word. Rowan staring at the floor while Danny leaned back against the wall head rested back eyes closed.

"Rowan if you want to se Alice…" Danny began.

Rowan shook his head. "I've been, I had to leave it was too hard seeing her like that….so totally not Alice you know?"

Danny nodded. "You are welcome to stay here…..you're family." he added softly.

"Thank you."

"Take your pick of the huts or the house." Danny now knew he was making idle conversation but he couldn't stand the silence.

Rowan nodded.

Danny stood up and winced as his shoulders protested. "I'll be heading to the hospital…."

"Hey Danny…" Rowan called standing up himself.

Danny found himself tensing up ready to protect himself again if Rowan started. He turned and stared at his brother in law.

"I'm sorry, for everything." Rowan told him gently. He was sorry for more than Danny knew.

"Rowan don't…" Danny requested. His head was pounding from the crash, from the fight and from the tears he had allowed himself to shed. "I need to go Alice is alone, I don't want her there by herself." he exhaled tiredly and shook his head.

"She wouldn't mind."

"I mind! I always promised her, from the first time I said I loved her that she would never be alone again."

Rowan nodded. Danny meanwhile turned sharply and headed inside the house. Walked straight into the bathroom and closed the door. He inspected his hand and was pretty sure it was fractured….oh well that was something else to add to the list of broken things, too bad his heart wasn't as easy to mend as his hand.

(X)

Rosie arrived home ten minutes after her dad and Rowans crying fest so she had no idea what had transpired. She jogged up the stairs, saw Charlie, Ally and Gloria playing a board game in the kitchen. She stopped and watched them a few moments. Charlie rolled the dice.

"Ooops Gloria, down the snake I go."

Rosie smiled, she had obviously rolled the certain number deliberately. Gloria meanwhile was giggling, Ally however rolled her eyes.

Charlie was looking at her. "I get all the snakes don't I?"

Gloria nodded.

Charlie winked at Ally who nodded her smile widening as she looked at Charlie, again Rosie was struck by the look in her eyes, almost like hero worship. Charlie was oblivious to it.

Gloria proceeded to roll a three.

"And we have a winner!" Charlie proclaimed tickling Gloria then spotted her at the door. "Just in time too. Look who's back. Auntie Rosie."

Rosie walked towards them. Ally and Gloria were packing up the snakes and ladders. Rosie headed straight for Charlie who looked pale and sad. She leant down by her ear. "You ok?" Rosie asked.

Charlie shrugged. "I will be. Dunno when its easier to fake it around these two." her voice low.

Rosie put her arms around her from behind and hugged her.

Charlie clung to her arm a minute then released her. Charlie stood up. "They've missed you."

"I missed my girls too. Loads!" Gloria looked up at her and smiled widely. Ally looked at her, then Charlie then nodded.

"When will uncle Max be home?" Gloria asked putting the lid on the box.

"Soon." Rosie told them.

Charlie had a brain wave. "Why don't you take the girls to see him?"

"My dad needs me." Rosie answered instinctively.

Charlie lowered her voice. "You don't want those two here when…." Charlie bit her lip. "When my mum dies." Charlie swallowed. "Everyone is gonna be upset. They don't need that, not after finally settling."

Charlie was right…..except she didn't need that either. "Why don't you come too?"

Charlie shook her head. "Mum…."

"I had to wait with my mum Charlie. I wish I had the option to go away until it was over. You don't have to tell me straight away just think about it. I'll take them tomorrow."

Charlie nodded lost in thought.

Rosie turned to her girls. "I just need to ring someone then I'm all yours." ruffled Gloria's hair then went to do the same to Ally who moved away and stuck her tongue out Rosie did the same in reply then went into the study pulling out her mobile. Dialled a familiar number. It rang.

"Hello." a man answered. It was six o'clock and the bar was open the problem couldn't have been that drastic!

"Max it's Rosie." she didn't know why she introducing herself as she rang his mobile and he'd have seen it was her.

"Are the girls ok?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah, they miss you, want to know when you will be home."

"Soon." he promised.

"Max we have a meeting soon, I need you here now to plan what we are going to say."

"I'll be there." he promised.

"Look with everything going on with Alice I need to get the girls away so I'm bringing them up to see you. Are you still living at our old flat?"

"No I moved." the memories were too much.

"Ok I'll stay at a hotel with the girls."

"No come to my new place, it's larger than the box that was our flat. I'm busy so I'll text you the address later."

Whatever Max, I'm glad we all rate so highly on you list of priorities."

"You do!" he protested.

"Save it for someone who cares….or maybe someone who actually matters to you!" and she put the phone down.

Max stared at the mobile then pushed it in his pocket feeling like dirt.

(X)

Danny sat on the stairs of the veranda staring at the midnight blue sky and was trying not to be reminded that it was almost the same shade of Alice's eyes when she was angry. It was late and everyone was in bed, he had been planning on leaving earlier than this but had convinced Rowan to visit Alice again and get some stuff off his chest in private. Rowan had left hours ago and still hadn't returned. He was simply sat looking at the stars as they twinkled overhead, he had watched them appear and slowly become clearer as the sun set. He had noted many times before how much bigger and clearer the stars seemed here, even more so when he was hurting and searching for a cure they were simple these stars, they didn't have problems they just were….he wished he was the same sometimes. No family, no ties, just existing, no reason for it. He heard footsteps approaching and didn't bother looking behind him.

"Smiler is asleep then?" Dupe asked sitting beside him.

"Even with his late nap he went right off. Charlie played with him a lot of today keeping busy I guess." Danny shrugged staring at the sky trying to lose himself inside the stars. He could feel Dupe trying to draw him in.

"She's as strong as Alice. Robbie is too. I can see you in him too."

He wished he was as strong as Alice, he knew she would be handling this far better than he was right now.

"You've been in the wars." Dupe motioned to his forehead, bandaged hand and bruised cheek.

Danny shrugged, he didn't care right now. He felt dead inside, numb to everything.

"You through this yet?" Dupe seemed to read his thoughts.

"Dunno." he croaked not even pretending to misunderstand. "I thought I was until Rowan…now…" made a gesture of unknown.

"Same thing happened to me after Elizabeth." Dupe admitted then took a drink of the bottle he held. "I fractured my skull, broke my hand and arm. I had a death wish for a while. Tracked the most dangerous animals I could just because I hated life and was too much of a coward to end it. I spent the following two years messed up, living in a drunken haze trying to kill myself the only was I knew how - the animals."

Danny looked at him eyes bleak. "What changed?"

"Same thing as you're doing. I was sat here missing Elizabeth more than words could express and wondering whether I should just man up and shoot myself."

Danny's eyes widened.

"Anyway I was considering it when I heard her say my name. it came from behind me, in the house. It sounded like she was angry at me for doing something daft, she used to get angry at me a lot when it came to guns as I was always leaving them lying around and not cleaning them properly. She swore one day I'd blow my head off and she said she needed me to make this place fly again. I always promised her that when she was alive but never got round to it. I woke up that night and promised to make this place all it could be. It wasn't until you arrived that I knew what she meant. Back when I made the promise I thought she meant about the game reserve part of flying but it wasn't. she knew that this place was built for family. Kids and husbands and wives and chaos and happiness…sadness too, sticking together when everything is falling apart."

"Clever woman your wife." Danny murmured feeling drained and tired.

Dupe nodded. "And she always hated my job, hated that I carried gun for a living."

"Alice worried about you too." Danny said softly. "She knew you were the best tracker and were as safe as you could possibly be but it still didn't stop her worrying."

Dupe nodded and took a drink. Danny was haunted by what Dupe's wife meant. About this place being for family.

"How do I always end up here? Alone looking up at the stars while the people I love are in pain or suffering or gone and there is nothing I can do!" Danny asked pained.

Dupe clapped him on the back, a gesture of silent support.

"This hurts Dupe!" he lowered his head and placed it in his hands. "I feel like I'm living in a dream sometimes. It doesn't feel real!"

"Have you said goodbye yet?"

Danny lifted his head, his face more drawn than before. He shook it.

"Well go on! This is one of the most important things you can do for her, for you too."

"I can't Dupe. What do I say? I can't just pretend that this is a normal goodbye and not a final one!"

"You know why you fell for the woman. Tell her how you feel, tell her you love her. She'll hear you I know it! After everything that has happened recently you need this."

"That's the thing Dupe!" he said standing up. "After everything that has happened. Everything I said and done!" he clenched his jaw. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" he raged and staled towards the veranda. "We were supposed to make up somehow! We were supposed to love each other for the rest of our lives!"

Dupe stood up too. "You both do love each other for the rest of your lives."

Danny swallowed. "Hers wasn't supposed to be so short." he exhaled shakily.

"Go to your wife Danny and tell her what you feel in here." Dupe tapped his chest above his heart. "If you can't then pretend. Pretend that the last time you saw her you told her how much you loved her. How much you'll always love her. The only person stopping that happening is you. She loves you Danny, she never stopped."

Almost on cue a car carrying Rowan approached.

Danny spun and looked at it knowing that the end was looming and having to visit Alice was growing nearer. He felt grief fill him and his legs almost buckled. "Stay strong!" he whispered to himself frantically.

"No Danny." Dupe countered simply. "Fall apart she's your wife. You're allowed. I did and I survived."

Danny remained staring at the car. "How do I get over her Dupe? How do I get to the point where I can think about her without wanting to sob?"

Dupe walked so he faced him. "You don't get over her. You don't forget a love like that and when you need them happy memories will come to you and get you through the dark nights."

Danny nodded, Dupe really knew what he was talking about sometimes. "I'll go in and say goodbye to Charlie, Rosie is taking the girls and her to see Max until….well you know."

"Until you lose Alice?" Dupe told him pointedly. "You have to say it Danny, avoiding it doesn't make it any less real."

Danny resisted for a second then threw his arms around the older man impulsively. "I suppose I still have you." he joked softly.

Dupe clapped him on the back again. "Yeah in the end that's who'll be left. Me and you old and frail on the veranda."

Rowan climbed from the car and saw the two men hugging. "You holding up Danny?" Rowan asked.

Danny nodded, Rowan tossed him the keys and he caught them. "I'll stay with Alice tonight." then he walked towards the house to speak with his daughter, the weight of the world weighing on his shoulders.

(X)

Danny arrived at Alice's side an hour later. He went over and touched her face softly, felt her smooth skin and soft hair under his fingertips.

"Hello sweetheart." he whispered trying vainly to hang on to some sort of normalcy. It didn't seem to be working. Everything still felt surreal. He was sat on a chair staring at her, it felt like hours had hours had passed and it had been mere minutes. They had silences before but never like this, they were never painful. She had this way of looking at him and in that second he knew that no matter what happened everything would be alright. He was soon inundated with images. Shaking hands as they met, her hand warm and strong totally unlike the cold frail hand before him. All the times she made him laugh in the house or surgery, right now he felt like he'd never laugh again. How when Robbie had been born they both shed tears of joy as they held him. Marvelling over something so perfect they created together. Most of all he remembered every single smile she gave him. Now he looked at her lying on this bed, pale, dying not at all resembling the woman in his memories and it hit him that he'd never see that beautiful smile again, never feel the warmth of her embrace. The feel of her lips against his soon to be a distant memory. He fisted the cloth at his chest as it felt like he'd suddenly been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer repeatedly. He stood up sharply trying to calm his breathing. Dupe had told him to say goodbye, tell her what he felt but he couldn't. He'd just remain here with her holding her hand.

"I love you Alice I'm here and I'm never leaving, I don't want you to go but….."

Without warning a sharp beeping was emitted from one of the monitors, this was quickly followed by another sharper sound, an alarm from a different machine. It became louder and he saw Alice's body go into grand mal seizure, he saw her eyes roll into the back of her head even though they were closed.

He began trembling as his hand rushed to his mouth.

Doctors ran in and surrounded Alice.

Oh God this was it! He thought panicked. The trembling increased until he was visibly shaking, his whole body shuddering violently. Emotions just seemed to be flying through him and he had no idea what to feel.

The nurse saw him and requested him to go to the relatives room. He left the room quickly his last sight of Alice was someone injected her with a unknown fluid. Her head lolling to the side completely unresponsive it seemed. At the wall outside her door he bowed his head and rested it on his hands. Imagining the day he wouldn't be seeing her smile or hearing her voice….today.


	42. Open your eyes!

_At the wall outside Alice's hospital room Danny bowed his head and rested it on his hands. Imagining the day he wouldn't't be seeing her smile or hearing her voice….today….._

"Mr Trevanion?" a doctor asked a short while later, Danny was still in the position he had moved to when he left her room.

Danny craned his head and lowered his hands. "Is she….." he felt a pounding resound in his skull.

"No, but we have taken her off the ventilator."

Danny nodded. He knew why they were doing this, letting the end come naturally instead of prolonging her pain. "I understand." he rubbed his face. "How long?"

"We don't know. We are deeply sorry." and with that the doctor left leaving Danny alone outside of Alice's room. He knew he had no choice now, he had to find a way to say goodbye to her, he didn't know how to do it but she deserved it after everything she had given him. She deserved to know how much he loved her. He ran his hands through his hair and walked into her room. She looked slightly better without the tubes in her mouth but still there was something missing as she lay there, her sparkle was gone. He approached her bed and looked down at her. He found his hand running down the side of her face. He closed his eyes and tried to pretend that everything was fine and that he wasn't here. That she was asleep in their room. His hands fisted as the image didn't come, this was far too real, far too painful for it to be anything but reality. He exhaled and let the tension float from his body out through the tips of his fingers. When he opened his eyes he was steady once again, looked down at her.

"Giving everyone the run around huh?" he whispered to her beautiful face. "You always do things when you want to." he was reminded of the time they met and how she opposed him in almost every decision. all too soon his eyes were glistening with tears and his face was one of devastation, his chest heaving. He clutched her hand in two of his. "This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do Alice, saying goodbye to you like this knowing that this is far earlier than it should be." he closed his eyes tightly but still felt tears squeeze past his lids. "Things weren't supposed to end like this!" he told her passionately tears falling. "We promised that it would never end like this, we talked about growing old together at Leopards Den, racing down to the surgery on our motor scooters, me crashing into the wall after you messed with my glasses. Remember when we said we'd always be there for each other?"

Alice was still, nothing breaking the silence and he wanted to scream.

"You have no idea how much I wish you could hear me right now as I talk to you, but you're dying….lying far too still." there were so many things he needed to say everything threatening to come tumbling out all at once. "I didn't know what I meant to be at home without you Alice but now I do. I hear voices around the house and I can feel you sometimes but mostly I feel so alone, so numb, I don't feel real somehow. You're physical presence seems strongest in the surgery but it is in the house faintly too, in the rooms, empty halls and beyond. I walk in our room sometimes expecting to see you lying in bed or putting washing away or doing some daft little chore that you no doubt asked me to do but I forgot. I'll see a flash of bright blue or black in my line of vision and I'll spin expecting to see you standing there smiling at me with this cocky sexy come get me grin. Then I look and realize it isn't you and my heart breaks all over again." he rested his forehead on her hand as he almost bent double. "Don't you know that you can't give up now, there is so much still to do. I'm still finding out things. The most prominent is what I've learned about love. I used to think it was hard, it always was with anyone else but with you the arguing and compromises seemed like nothing…" he sighed and stared at her intensely. "I love the way our hearts seem to fit together so easily, like they were made specifically for the other. I love how no matter where I am or what I'm doing you always push me and challenge me to be even better than I am. And I know that I can be better, even when it's hard because you believe in me. Sharing my life with you isn't easy, we are too similar and we butt heads sometimes but it's the most rewarding thing I have ever been part of. Just being by your side enhances me somehow. How do I live without that Alice?" emotion seemed to crest and he was silent for a few moments trying to find some semblance of calm, he was once again reminded of their first meeting, she wearing her big aviator glasses, her smile wide and genuine. "When I first met you I didn't know how to love again. I didn't even want to then you stole my heart. It wasn't just my heart you stole though, you stole my dreams too and breathed life into them, made them new and achievable. The dreams I had of sharing my life with someone who I loved, building a future, raising a family. I know that nothing lasts forever but I expected longer than this. I know that if you could just wake up we'd find a way to get through this and try again, make us better than before." He averted his eyes and stared out of the window. "Look at me." was torn from him. "The way I'm crying." Now the banks had opened fully he had no idea how to close them. "I'm sat here watching you fight for your life and I can't do a thing to help, knowing that you are losing this fight is soul destroying. I have to keep on checking a monitor to see that you are still alive, it's so surreal. To see you just lying there is breaking my heart, breaking me! I can't believe that you are so close to losing this fight. The people at home aren't the same, the usual jovial happy people like Liv and Charlie are subdued, people who aren't as tactful like Dupe have found a way to be the strongest leaders, smoothing things over trying to make the hurt go away. Home just isn't home anymore; it seems everyone is waiting for the inevitable, waiting for the day that you will leave us forever. No one knows what to do, I know though….I know what is coming next." He closed his eyes and his head hung, he felt so low and dejected. "Somehow I know you're with me." He whispered. "I know that when things a hard ahead you will stop me from folding up from devastation. Keeping me strong for our kids, so even though I can't see you I know you will be close and that single thought is bringing some solace, not a lot but some." Silence reigned then, he was all talked out, he felt drained from this. He sat and looked out of a window at the sun as it shined high in the cloudless sky. He tried not to dwell on the fact that she'd never stand outside and inhale crisp sharp air, or feel the warmth of the sun on her beautiful face…he was reminded of a song that always made him think of Alice and he had never told her it. "One last thing that I need you to know sweetheart." He murmured lifting her hand to his lips and he kissed it gently. "There is this song that I heard that makes me think of you every time I hear it. It's by Chester See called Everything. I genuinely believe that before writing it he somehow found a glimpse of you and wrote it because it fits you so perfectly. I know I can't sing but here goes_. _

_'Your eyes are wonderful.  
><em>_Your smile is too.  
>Your laugh's contagious.<br>And your heart is true.  
>There's beauty in your touch.<br>And your kiss is love.  
>You're everything that every guy dreams of.<br>You're everything. That makes me. Fall in love._'

And that was it, he couldn't seem to muster any emotion from him, he had poured it all out there, it had been hard but kind of cathartic in a way. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I never thought this would end." He said as he gripped her hand. "But I have the memories we made and our kids." Pressed a kiss to her hand. "I love you SO much and I'm sorry for everything I said and did that caused you pain." And with that final sentence he placed her hand gently on the bed and rested his head beside it.

(X)

Danny remained with Alice reminiscing for the following 24 hours. Doctors came in routinely to check her vitals, or more like to see if she was gone yet. It was a matter of time he knew, she was hanging in there though. Caroline and Nomsa were caring for Robbie for the moment. He was gonna ask Rowan to come in for a little bit so he could get home to his son. He shouldn't be leaving him so much. He needed his dad, he needed his mum too but that wasn't possible anymore.

To keep himself sane he had sat and talked about all the happy times he and Alice spent together, all the times she made him laugh, especially when the world seemed to hate him. He was getting delirious though; he had zero sleep in more than 72 hours and was starting to feel it. He had feel asleep for an hour on the chair sometime last night but had been awoken by a nightmare of the kind of father he became to Robbie after losing her. Losing Alice, in his dream, had caused him to slip into a dark depression and no one could reach him. He drank heavily and didn't take care of himself and wasn't capable of being a vet anymore. Anything which had reminded him of Alice he ignored, thus causing his daughters and other son Evan to distance themselves from him. As he grew Robbie became Alice's mirror image so Danny followed the pattern he began with the other kids, a teenage Robbie sick of being ignored by his dad fell into the wrong crowd at school. Even when the warning signs that Robbie was in trouble became glaringly obvious stull Danny failed him. Eventually Robbie ended up in trouble with the police; he was killed in a car chase with the police while trying to drive away. He rubbed his face, that couldn't happen, Robbie was the very best parts of him and Alice together and he had to be ok!

He felt the cloud of sleep trying to claim him again so he began talking to her again. He rested her head against her hand as it lay on the bed. "You know I don't think I have ever said this much to you uninterrupted before, you're so opinionated." He told her sleepily eyes half closed. "Can't say I like it very much." He added while yawning and closing his eyes. He moved her hand and twined her fingers with his, sat up and rested her hand against his cheek. "I think I'm gonna miss this the most." He told her voice full of unmasked longing. "The innocent touches we used to share throughout a day. You're hands are always so gentle." He smiled wistfully. "You're eyes too…..they are so so beautiful." He opened his eyes to glance at her face, he smiled when he saw her looking ahead, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes again, it seemed to take forever before his brain seemed to compute what he actually saw….her eyes were open, OPEN! He sat bolt upright and saw her expression was confused as she stared at the ceiling, her eyes misty as she frowned

He stood up. "Alice?" his voice almost escaping him. Ok he had to be dreaming! When she didn't move or reply he asked again, louder. "Alice!?"

Her eyed flicked to his and he saw recognition in their depths. She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out. She swallowed and grimaced painfully. "Danny?" she croaked.

He lunged and hit the call button her wall then he took her hand in both of his. "I'm here. I'm here." He promised.

She stared at him blinking tiredly.

"Do you know where you are?" he asked. "Or what happened?"

She turned her head and closed her eyes. "No." her reply on a sigh.

"Alice open your eyes for me sweetheart. The doctor is on his way so I need you to stay awake." He pleaded.

"What… happened?" she asked drowsily her eyes still closed.

"Anthrax, that's why you have to stay awake right now."

Alice frowned a little. "Anthrax….bad…" she sighed again, softer this time. "…bad…."

The doctor walked in and saw Danny on his feet beside Alice, whose eyes were still closed. "Mr Trevanion?"

"Alice's eyes opened, she spoke!"

The doctor walked to her other side. "Mrs Trevanion?" checked her vitals and found them unchanged. She had remained still and silent throughout the exchange.

"Alice!" Danny said pleading with her.

"Look Mr Trevanion it's common for family members to…."

"Don't!" Danny snapped. "I didn't imagine it, she was awake, she spoke to me!"

"Judging by your rumpled clothes and tired expression I am guessing you haven't had much sleep recently, you may have dreamed…."

"I didn't dream it either!" he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, "C'mon honey just one word that's all I need."

"To be blunt sir patients who reach second stage rarely if ever regain consciousness….." he said heading for the door

"Alice think of Robbie, think of Charlie." He told her ignoring the doctor as he opened the door to her room and began to exit.

**A/N Anyway Alice woke up! but only for seconds and the doctor doesn't believe Danny :/ hmmmm will she survive after all? its a possibility now. And the song, that song has been with me since i began this story and i knew i had to put it in somewhere, it sounds like a 'danny' song if you get me**

**anyway sorry this would have been up last night but i spent most of it trying to fix my big computer which gave up the ghost eugh! so im now using my laptop, which i dont like and the letter E is broke on so there may b a fair few spelling mistakes - apologies. x**


	43. You Have To Wake Up

"_Alice think of Robbie, think of Charlie." He told her hand ignoring the doctor as he opened the door to her room and began to exit…._

Danny wanted to go to the doctor and drag him back into the room until Alice said something, anything at all.

"C'mon Alice love, Charlie needs you to be her shield again!" he told her urgently.

Alice's head moved across the bed at his request and a large breath seemed to be expelled from her. It made the doctor stop in his tracks and look at the woman in the bed. Then without opening her eyes Alice said, "Charlie…." She sighed. "I'm… here."

Danny smiled at her tears in his eyes. "Yeah I know you are…."

The wide eyed doctor meanwhile was calling for nurses.

"And now he does too." And again he pressed a kiss to her hand, finally finding it within himself to see an end to this, to finally have some hope.

"I'll tell her too." He promised as Alice cracked one open to look at him. "I'll kiss Robbie for you, and I'll tell Charlie that you're here for her and Rosie and Liv too." He nodded as she looked at him tiredly. "I love you so much Alice, do you know what I saying? I love you!"

She blinked an affirmative and he swore he saw a ghost of a smile flash across her face, suddenly though nurses converged and Danny was ushered outside. As soon as he was alone outside he felt the fear that Alice was going to die creep inside him once again, now that he couldn't see that she was awake with his own eyes he began to doubt as to whether it had all been real. This was something that all of them had wished for feverently and he knew how seldom such wishes were granted, what was different about this time then all the other ones? After what felt like an eternity, but had only been an hour and a half, as he was literally counting the minutes as in 90, the doctor, who had originally doubted that Alice had actually been conscious, walked out and headed for Danny looking stunned. Danny took that as a good sign, Alice generally had that effect on people.

"How's Alice?" Danny asked before the doctor stopped walking. "Is she ok? Is there gonna be any lasting damage? Is she still conscious?" was fired rapidly.

The doctor opened his mouth with a reply, then closed it almost as if he didn't know what to say. "She's awake." He merely said. "From here we can't predict where she will go, what medicines we should offer, I can't emphasize enough how rare this is. I mean for a patient to even regain consciousness in second stage but to be cognizant too….." his face full of wonder.

Danny nodded, this was total Alice! "What about the toxins?"

"We have taken samples of her blood to be tested and we are also going to be completing a full body scan on her brain and all her major organs."

Danny felt his heart beating hard in his chest, he felt an overwhelming urge to laugh, he was almost giddy! "So she is awake then?"

"She was when I left, although she was also confused about certain things which is understandable. We are advising that she tries to sleep as much as she can, we believe that overexerting herself will worsen her condition."

Danny rubbed his head. "I need to phone my family," he laughed. "They are gonna be so relieved."

The doctor put his hand on his arm. "Just because your wife had regained consciousness and has had a few moments of lucidity there is no guarantee that she won't relapse. It would be best not to get their hopes up until we have the results from the tests."

Danny knew what he said made sense, he yearned with the need to call his family with the good news that had so much bad recently that they were due something good, and this definitely qualified. "This is still good though right?" needing reassurance.

The doctor frowned obviously not wanting to go on the record, "It isn't bad Mr Trevanion that is all I can say."

"When will the results from her tests arrive?"

"I'll rush them through; it should be sometime tomorrow if we are lucky."

At this exact moment Danny had no idea what to say, think or even feel. There was so much going on inside him, the tentative hope that Alice might live kept getting squashed by cold reality, a nagging voice insisting that she wasn't going to get better, that fate was simply playing a cruel game with him, letting him think he was getting her back to tear him from her in a worse way. "Can I see her?" that voice was harder to hear when she was in front of him and he could see her beautiful eyes.

"Go ahead, just don't expect too much, and don't tire her either. She is still very weak."

"To be honest doctor the only outcome I expected from this was to lose her completely so to be able to talk to her even one more time is beyond my wildest dreams. This is more than I could have ever asked so I don't expect anything. I am just overjoyed to be able to say I loved her one more time and to know that she heard me."

The doctor nodded stiffly, though in his eyes he was clearly moved by Danny's declaration.

Danny meanwhile had already spun and walked towards his wife's room needing to spend as much time as he could, and as soon as he could he planned on getting the family down to talk to her, if there was even the slightest chance they were gonna lose her they all deserved to see her and talk to her one final time. He walked into her room, for the first time without any hesitation found her lain on the bed a nasal cannula replacing the oxygen mask that had been placed upon her. Her eyes were closed but her cheeks were slightly pinker than before…or maybe that was wishful thinking. To be fair everything seemed brighter since he spoke to her, he felt lighter too. He sat beside her and took her hand on both of his, almost immediately her eyes opened a crack.

"Hey handsome…you come here often?" she asked tiredly.

He couldn't believe this, a grin on his face. "You're lying in a hospital bed and you're coming on to me with a pick up line?"

She shrugged a little. "Worth a try." flicked her eyes around. "They….gone?"

He smiled wider. "And you're pretending to be asleep to get rid of the doctors?"

She nodded and cracked a small smile. "Too many….questions. I got…bored." Suppressed a yawn.

He laughed softly. "That is so you." Caressed her cheek and looked in her eyes. "Do you have any idea what you've been through?"

She looked at him a moment. "Only what…. I see in your eyes."

He sat closer to her and pulled her hand to his face like he had when she hadn't been conscious. "How do you feel?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Bad question?"

"Kinda….." and this time the yawn escaped. "Actually I feel weird. Tired." She blinked.

"Do you know what happened to you?" his lips found her hand and he was buoyed by the warmth it held, unlike before they had been cold. The thumb from his free hand running down her cheek, he couldn't stop touching her.

She finally frowned eyes cloudy. "I heard….second stage Anthrax." She blinked tiredly. "I don't remember anything."

He stood up knowing how tired she was, kissed her forehead gently. "Go to sleep." He urged.

She shook her head infinitesimally. "What if….I don't….wake up?" each break punctuated by an even larger yawn than the previous one. "Anthrax…."

"You will." He promised as his hand rested on her cheek once again, he still stood above her looking down. "I know you will because you're that strong. No one expected you to wake up, this is only the beginning Alice. So sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up."

She closed her eyes a smile on her face, "That's why I love you…." She sighed. "You believe in me more than I believe in myself…. I love you Danny."

"I love you too Alice, more than anything." He sat down and took her hand and all too soon her breathing was slow and deep, he knew she wasn't above pretending so remained still and silent for the longest time. Gradually her hand slackened and he knew she was in a deep slumber. It was then he finally allowed himself to shake. He closed his eyes tightly and lowered his head. "You have to wake up." He whispered. "I know you can do it." And he inhaled deeply to stem the tears of doubt that fell from him.

**A/N oh i do hope that alice survives, having this hope given to danny only to be taken away may drive him over the edge, but i have to say i had to write alice as fun and flirty when she woke up, i dunno y it jst fit lol :)**

**anyway this is a quick short update, ****haven't got much else written so gonna have to find some time. but nxt few chapters are planned to be rosie and max, who makes a return hmmmm what do i have planned for them? if i have enough material for another chapter i will try for tonight, no promises tho x**


	44. You Love Him

Rosie spent a sleepless night at her dads that night. She had found that since Max had left she couldn't settle and after tossing and turning in bed for three hours she gave up the ghost and went to sit in the kitchen with her hot chocolate that was where she stayed thinking until morning. Later Liv walked from her bedroom her hands running through her tousled hair pj bottoms trailing the floor.

"Morning Liv." Rosie said.

"Morning? Is it really? I still thought it was the middle of the night." she grumbled obviously getting as much sleep as Rosie had last night. She studied Rosie. "Oh and you look as rough as I feel." poured herself some coffee.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to make myself some hot chocolate, then I got lost in thought." she sipped her chocolate and found it cold. "To be fair it's a common occurrence these days."

"Insomnia is a companion of mine recently too." dropped into a chair after placing her coffee on the table. "I feel like crap!"

"You worried about Alice?" Rosie enquired softly.

"Danny. Charlie. You. Everyone really. No one is normal around her. Anything that shifts the status quo in this place seems to make everyone freaking crazy! Alice is probably the only one who I'm not worrying about, she has no worries anymore." sipped her coffee and cursed when it was too strong, barely resisted the urge to throw it across the room. She rubbed her forehead feeling irritated by everything at the moment. She was sick of being stressed out!

Rosie frowned. "You're worried about me?"

Liv nodded.

"You really don't have to. I'm fine." and faked a bright smile.

"Cut the bullshit Rosie I'm not in the mood." Liv told her simply. "If you really were fine would you faked that big smile? No you wouldn't have to we both know there is nothing to smile about right now."

"Seriously Liv though I'm fine." she patted her hand. "Better than fine."

"I really don't have to worry huh?" anger growing. "Then why haven't you been to bed? We practically grew up together Rosie and I know when you're avoiding something, especially a man!"

"If this is about Max…" Rosie began and shook her head.

"It is!" Liv interrupted heatedly. "And don't tell me to back off ok!" she snapped. "Look at what you have Rosie. A chance! A chance to say you love him! A chance to try again. Its more than Danny has right now! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? You can go a whole lifetime without finding anyone who makes you feel a tenth of the way you do and you're blocking it. Why? Why do this? You know you love him why can't you just admit it? I mean for Gods sake!" she exhaled an angry breath.

"Liv you don't understand….."

"Your right I don't understand! I don't understand why you are doing this. YOU LOVE HIM!" Liv had no idea where the anger came form but it seemed to be exploding from her. She stood up sharply. "I really don't believe you!" she yelled. "Is it worth it Rosie? Really worth it! Are the sleepless nights and loneliness worth what you get in return? And what if he finds someone new? What then? I love you and I want what's best for you but God you are stubborn and I'm about ready to strangle you! Forget everything for a minute, forget the stubbornness and the pride and think about you had! And then when that comes back and you remember why you can't be with him pray to God you don't end up in the same situation as Danny. Imagine not being able to say sorry to Max for everything. Imagine never being able to tell him how you feel before he dies." then Liv stomped back to her room her coffee untouched.

Rosie exhaled and folded her arms on the table, rested her weary head on them. First it was Dupe a few days ago and now it was Liv. It wasn't as easy as they all thought! They had no idea how hard it had been for her to not only get over Max but to be able to get on with her life without him. She had to force herself to get out of bed on some days, she had to find a way to be strong. How do you reverse that and let the person in who made you feel that weak? On the odd day she still found herself reaching for him across an empty bed or calling his name when she returned to an empty house. They didn't know how much they hurt each other and therefore didn't understand anything, if they did they would leave her be.

"You ok?" a young voice asked.

Rosie jumped and lifted her head, saw Charlie stood there, damp hair curling around shoulders already dressed for the day at five am. Rosie nodded. "I'm good."

"Look Rosie do you really mind me coming with you?" she shifted from side to side on her feet. "This house has me on edge. Everyone stares at more like I'm gonna crack up or burst into tears or something."

Rosie understood what that was like she had went through the same when she lost her baby, they were only looking out for them but truth be told it was suffocating. "You're more than welcome. Ally will be pleased, she's really taken to you."

Charlie nodded and thrust her hands in the pockets of her shorts. Rosie could tell she was struggling with something so she decided to put less pressure on Charlie by busying herself with something. She took her cup to the sink and poured the awful cold coffee away. It took only a minute to glean the results she expected.

"I feel guilty!" Charlie blurted.

Rosie placed her cup in the sink and turned to look at Charlie's, she saw her eyes were glued to the floor. "About?"

"Leaving, I feel like my place is here. This feels like I'm running away when she needs me. My mum…"

"Your mum would understand. She lost her mother too so she knows what you are going through right now. She'd understand if you wanted some space to clear your head. Then you will come back here and all of us will grieve."

Charlie's green eyes were brimming with tears. "I listened to her voicemail last night you know. I needed so badly to hear her voice again so I rang it over and over just so I could listen to her. I felt so good hearing it but when it ended it hurt so much." she sniffed. "I'm trying so hard to be an adult about all this Rosie but I'm struggling. I don't know how to grow up without her there. How did you do it? And Liv?"

"We had people around us to support us and you're no different. We are all here for you."

"She's a part of me Rosie." put her hand over her chest for emphasis. "I feel like something in me is dying. Something I won't get back. I'm scared about the part I'm losing it feels like a gaping hole, massive."

"Oh Charlie." Rosie went to her and hugged her. She had never really understand Charlie's and Alice's bond. They were more than mother and daughter. They had forged an unbreakbl bond duecto them being all the other had for so long. Now losing her was tearing Charlie apart. "You aren't losing any part of yourself. Your mum is still part of you. She is more than body, she's a memory. Just because she isn't here in person doesn't mean she won't still be here. She will never be forgotten and trust me when I say you'll feel her by your side when things get tough."

"Everyone keeps saying that, even I have said that but I don't need to _feel_ her by my side I need her to _be_ there! I don't need her to be gone, this isn't fair."

Rosie knew no amount of soft words could help Charlotte. She just needed someone to hold her while she tried to work this through. "I know things won't ever be the same, especially for you but in time you'll find some sort of peace." she whispered against Charlie's hair as her face was buried in Rosie's shoulder.

Charlie nodded and lifted her head, wiped her eyes on her sleeve before pulling back.

"At first Charlie you will hate it when life starts moving on but do me a favour don't dwell on it too much."

Charlie nodded and swallowed.

"Your mum will live forever in your heart and that's why she will never be fully gone and that's why you aren't losing a part of yourself, only difference is you will have to learn to find it. If you can't tell me or Liv, that is why we are here, took us a long time to find it too ok?"

"Thanks Rosie." Charlie whispered.

"Anytime don't hesitate if you need me. I'm always here. Always." she knew how important someone to talk to was. Being alone had almost destroyed her and Charlie deserved better.

Charlie didn't reply. Rosie watched her turn and walk down the hallway shoulders slumped. Rosie felt her jaw clench as a defeated feeling washed over her. Even though the bags to go to see Max were packed Rosie decided to go and check them again, only to escape the feeling that resided deep inside her.

(X)

Rosie and the girls left Leopards Den at ten thirty. She had briefly considered getting flights and almost asked the girls before it occurred to her that the girls passports had no doubt been destroyed in the fire that had stolen their parents from them so it seemed they had no choice but to drive down. The address Max had given proved to be a long road trip. Charlie promised to try and distract the girls as much as she could, that was how much of the day progressed. Many stops on the route to allow the youngsters to stretch their legs and burn off some energy. It allowed Rosie and Charlie time to talk in private about Alice although Charlie said nothing, just seemed very distracted.

Now they were at a café getting food, they decided against McDonalds as the café had a soft play area for the girls, and even though Ally protested, half heartedly, she was soon playing with her younger sister. Rosie sat with an empty plate watching the girls with one eye while watching Charlie with the other. Charlie had ate nearly nothing forcing down only a few bites of mashed potato claiming she didn't like it because it wasn't as good as Nomsa's. The rest of the food on her plate she had picked at with her fork or pushed around her plate. Rosie was worried about how thin and pale Charlie looked, when was the last time she ate a solid meal?

"I know its hard but you need to stop thinking the way you are Charlie."

"Like what?" she muttered arms crossed staring at the floor.

"Wondering if your mum has passed away yet. It'll drive you mad, dad will be in touch in time."

Charlie again pulled her phone out and checked her messages once again ignoring Rosie's words.

"If you want I can take you back." Rosie offered, this wasn't helping as much as Rosie hoped it would, if anything it had added to Charlie's stress.

Charlie shook her head. "I don't want to go back. Io don't know if I ever want to go back!" she frowned and her face became angry. "I want it to be last week when my mum was healthy. I want it to be last year when mum and Danny still loved each other. I want it to be two years ago before we lost Leopards Den and everything was normal and not falling apart!" she put her face in her hands then fisted them tightly. "I want it to be any time except now coz I hate all of it, I hate now! I hate everything!"

Rosie felt for Charlie and the stages she was going through, depression, anger, the strength she seemed to have to find endless reserves of. Although Rosie didn't want Alice to die in a lot of ways it would be easier in Charlie the earlier she let go. Once Alice was gone Charlie could grieve and begin to work through everything, while Alice hung on Charlie was left in limbo unable to stop thinking about it and unable to move on her mind going around in circles. She was trying to think of a conversations starter to take Charlie's mind off it but all of them sounded contrite and hollow to her own eyes, instead se simply offered her hand across the table which Charlie took and squeezed tightly. They sat there for a long time like that.

"I know I didn't know you're mum but I bet she'd be well proud of you right now." Charlie told Rosie softly.

"What?"

Charlie nodded. "The way you are looking after me and the girls. Making sure everyone at home is ok. The way you are dealing with losing my mum but still carrying on." Charlie gave her a small smile. "Yeah, she'd be proud. I'm proud to be your little sister too."

"Thank you." Rosie whispered all choked up.

"And even though I think you are being daft about other stuff I'm just gonna leave you to it. We all have enough to deal with without bitching at each other about that stuff. You know what you are doing and that is all that matters." Charlie was lost in thought. "I can understand too, seeing what losing my mum is doing to Danny, then before, the way they argued and all the rest of it. Is love worth it? I dunno, love seems pretty bad to me."

Charlie had it all backwards and Rosie wouldn't let her think like this. "Well yeah Charlie I mean there is sometimes bad stuff that happens but what about the good things. Like laughing over private jokes and falling asleep in someone's arms. Coming home after a hard day to a smile. Sharing your life with someone though all the ups and downs….." Rosie trailed off having a silent epiphany.

Charlie hid a smile. "I'll go get the girls."

"Um… yeah." Rosie was dazed having been reminded if all the good things she and Max used to do together. Being reminded of everything she loved about him, the smiles, the laughter, the love.

Charlie looked back at Rosie while climbing over large cubes of covered foam. Saw Rosie rubbing her head like she was trying to work something out. That was too easy, her mum had taught her well. 'Did you catch that mum?' she whispered. 'I'm good huh?'

"Is Rosie ok?" Ally asked.

Charlie picked her up and nodded. "I think so." dropped the girl onto the foam.

Ally squealed as she fell then laughed. Charlie dived for Gloria to do the same, she squirmed which made victory all the sweeter.

Charlie was chasing them around occasionally throwing them on the foam, other times hiding and bursting from it which Gloria loved.

"Are we gonna stay here with Uncle Max for good or go home with you?" Ally asked/

"I don't know." Charlie admitted but they had more of a chance now then they had ten minutes ago, much more of a chance.

**A/N i love charlie in this, she us having such abhard tim but is so much stronger for it! shes jst brill :) and so sneaky lol Rosie didn't see that coming at all!**

** ANYWAY bad news time - heres the thing - i wrote some of this today and no matter what i do somthing inside me is saying that someone needs to die...its one of three people Alice, Danny or Charlie... no matter i do or try to write it ends badly i did write some today and one of them...:( gonna try and change it but if i hit that chapter before i can change it then it happens x**


	45. Release It

Rosie tried to keep a clear head as she drove to her and Max's….well where Max lived, to be honest she was struggling because what she told Charlie kept echoing in her head. The girl was good, Rosie had to give her that. She had knew exactly what she was doing Rosie had not seen that one coming, she was better than Alice as she knew all Alice's tricks, or had known them….wonder if…..she exhaled concentrating on the road once again. Telling Charlie to try not to think about Alice's death was hypocritical seeing as she couldn't help but wonder if Alice had died yet and whether she had heard her apology. It pained her to think that the last time she and Alice saw each other Rosie had been trying to hurt her, rolling around in the mud to be precise. Alice hadn't fought back, she had just deflected the blows Rosie threw at her.

She glanced in the back seat and looked at her girls, Charlie felt like one of her girls right now. With everything that had transpired over the last few days she couldn't help but feel maternal around Charlie, she was trying so hard to be an adult and all Rosie wanted to do was wrap her up in a hug until it all went away. She was amazing that kid, Alice must be proud as hell, or must have been….past tense. Her eyes scanned them, Gloria was napping in her car seat and Charlie had a barbie in hand showing Ally how to braid a barbies hair. She was so slow with Ally praising her and laughing as they did it. She was so much like her mother at times, Alice always knew exactly what to say to make things better…..or to con people into seeing things a certain way. As she studied Charlie she saw her smile was cracked and brittle.

"Hey girls there soon yeah." she called into the back.

Ally put her barbie on her knee. "Is this house big like your dad's?"

"Not quite that big." how big exactly Rosie wasn't sure since she had never been in here before.

Ally nodded and continued with her barbie. A short while later they pulled into an apartment building indicated by the sat nav as their destination. The car stopped and she looked up at where Max lived. His bar must be doing much better than in the past coz these weren't just normal apartments these were luxury apartments, almost penthouse for Gods sake! She bet it wasn't as nice as their old home though, yeah this might be luxury but their old home had been filled with love and laughter….well it had in the beginning…this just wouldn't have it!

She climbed from the car and was picking up Gloria as she realised that she had no idea how to get and, and even if she did she had no key. Ok she'd put Gloria back in the car and drive….dammit she had no idea where the bar Max was working at was. She ground her teeth together, you know what she'd ring up to his apartment, and then if he didn't answer she'd ring his phone and if he didn't answer that then….well she'd think of something. She settled Gloria in her arms and turned to the flats. "C'mon kids." she requested. As both Charlie and Ally climbed from the car a older woman appeared and started walking towards them. Rosie's stomach dropped, then lurched somewhere in the vicinity of her throat. Rosie could do without this right now!

The woman stopped in front of Rosie her expression impassive.

"Hello Beth." Rosie said softly, exhaling as she did.

Beth surveyed her with distaste. The last time they had seen each other hadn't been pretty. Max had confided to Will that he believed Rosie was cheating, Will had told Arthur who had told Beth. She hadn't taken it well to say the least, she turned up at the flat shouting the odds. Rosie would love to see her to and follow them though! Ok Rosie calm down she chided herself.

"Rosie." Beth replied stiffly, leaving Rosie no doubt that she too remembered the altercation at their last meeting. "Max asked me to wait around for you until he arrived, he's busy right now."

"Can't say I'm surprised." Rosie muttered under her breath.

Beth heard it and narrowed her eyes. "Anyway I have the keys here." handed them to Rosie. "I also wanted to meet these two little beauties!" She looked at Ally. "Max has told me so much about you."

Ally had noticed how Beth acted around Rosie and felt anger bristling. "He hasn't mentioned you to me!"

Charlie bit back a laugh and bit her lip. Beth glared at her so Charlie smirked cockily and blatantly high fived Ally.

"Who….."

"Look Beth I need to get the kids inside." Rosie interrupted, if Beth went mad at Charlie Alice would….she clenched her jaw as she remembered…she wanted to hit something right now. "As you can see Gloria is asleep and Ally has been cooped up in the car…."

"At her age Gloria shouldn't be napping at this time and you should have got a flight down, much quicker….."

"WE considered getting a flight but we couldn't…." she said through clenched teeth. "And one nap isn't going to do her any harm!" her voice tight.

Charlie looked up at Rosie and saw the pulse throbbing in her jaw it was so tight.

Beth chose that moment to sniff and Rosie wanted to knock her nose off. She hated that annoying little I'm right and you're wrong but I have no reply so I'll sniff at you noise eugh!

"Anyway we need to get up in the house ok?"

Rosie side stepped her and started to walk to the building.

"I'll come up, I have more experience with kids then you do."

Rosie froze and closed her eyes for a second, there was nothing wrong with that statement, but taken in the context of what she and Max lost combined with the tone in which she said it. There was an edge to it, almost like an accusation of sorts. She started counting to ten slowly.

Charlie took Gloria from Rosie's arms. "There are cameras to your left, if you're gonna hit her move her to the right and I'll tell the police your innocent. She deserves it after what she just said." Charlie whispered to her.

Rosie shook her head, "I'm not…."

"We'll be over there." Charlie told her. "Looking the other way just in case." then she took Ally's arm and headed for the entrance to the flat.

Rosie meanwhile stared at her eyes almost red with how angry she was. "Do you want to tell me what you meant by that statement, and be very careful what you say as Max and I aren't together anymore so I can do what I want!"

"Nothing, I didn't mean anything." she replied innocently.

Rosie closed her eyes then made her face neutral. "While the girls are around we will be civil to each other. If you push me when we are alone I will say what is on my mind whether you like it or not! At the moment though Ally and Gloria are two damaged little girls who do need to see people bitching or scoring cheap points with subliminal insults!"

"I just…." Beth started.

"I know what you were doing!" Rosie snapped. "You were trying to undermine me in front of them! What happened between Max and I is OUR business. I respect that you love him and are only looking out for his best interests but there are two sides to every story."

Beth made a face.

"Oh and for the record I never cheated on Max! He thought I did and I thought the same of him!"

"He'd NEVER…."

"Neither would I!" Rosie raged then stomped towards the apartment forcing the anger from her body. When she reached Ally and Charlie she was almost fine. Beth had only been here five minutes and her teeth were already on edge.

Charlie joined her Ally on her shoulders and Gloria lain in her arms. Rosie took the sleeping child.

"See you didn't break her nose, you could have at least swung for her," she whispered.

"I'm a grown up." Rosie replied.

"Supposedly….." Charlie drawled.

"Hey." and Rosie nudged her.

"But seriously you want some help getting rid?" she whispered eyes sparkling with mischief, this was the most animated Rosie had seen her in ages. Rosie laughed. "Hold on to that thought yeah?"

Charlie nodded. "No problem."

Rosie pulled her to her side impulsively as they walked. "You're a good kid."

"Maybe." Charlie glared at Beth malevolently behind her. "Or maybe I take care of my family."

"I appreciate it Charlie but you don't need to take care of me I'm all grown up."

"That is why you need it most. You think you're too grown up to ask for it!" she looked up at her as they walked. "Here's the thing though, just coz you're an adult doesn't mean you don't need people, especially ones you love. Sometimes it means you need them more. I may be too young to properly understand but I always use mum and Danny as an example, apart they are strong but together they are unbreakable…." Max she repeated silently, think of Max Rosie.

Rosie was silent, when she had and Max had been together they had been so brilliant. Anything they set their minds to they could do…. Rosie used the key to the apartment. "When did you get so wise?"

"I have no idea….." she smiled a little. "It won't last."

Rosie chuckled as she walked into the building and towards apartment fourteen. She tried a few keys and finally found the one to let them in. They walked down a hallway into a bright living room.

"Oh my god look at the size of that TV!" Charlie gasped. "Is he compensating?"

"Yeah." Rosie told her.

Charlie's jaw dropped.

"For not having me of course." and she laid Gloria on the white sofa. As Charlie and Ally were flicking through TV channels Beth walked in. Rosie narrowed her eyes, swinging for her was a definite possibility right now! She saw Gloria starting to stir.

"Hey girls I'll sort you some milk." and Rosie walked towards the kitchen it was behind a swing door. Beth followed.

"Rosie we aren't finished yet." Beth told her.

Rosie looked in the fridge. "I think we are. I know we don't get along but I am these kids guardian same as Max and I won't have arguing around them. Anything about that you don't like that then leave!"

"Rosie all we want is a clean break like you and Max had a few weeks ago. Do you really want to go through all that again when the time comes to split?"

"I won't give up the girls, if I do they go in care!"

"I'm not saying you should….when you and Max get custody why not let him care for the girls full time. You can go back to where you were, happy that the girls are safe and loved."

"What?"

"No disrespect Rosie but where are your parenting skills? I haven't seen any so far…."

Rosie paled and tried not to let the words affect her, she had grown in confidence since the days when they first got the girls but she was still on shaky ground.

"If you give Max sole custody Arthur and I can help. Give the girls a better life. How much does a vet earn around here anyway?"

"Are you for real?" came from the direction of the door. "Seriously are you off your head?" Charlie hissed. "You see Rosie with the girls for all of two second and you calm she isn't a good mum? Well guess what by what I'm seeing I doubt you're a good mum either!"

"She drove down from Glen Afric with two young…."

Charlie took a step towards her. "The girls passports were destroyed in the fire that killed their parents. In the fire Max was in. Did you know that?"

Beth's eyes widened, obviously not having heard about that.

"Not such a good mum now are we?" Charlie spat.

Beth looked at Rosie. "The girls aren't happy either!"

"Of course their not happy you fool, their parents only died a fortnight ago. Tell me the appropriate amount of time for grief and we'll slot in into their timetable yeah?" Charlie said sarcastically shaking her head. "But seriously when should they be happy?"

"This is nothing to do with you….."

"This had everything to do with me! Rosie is helping me through a tough time and I won't have you bad mouthing her!"

"O what's the matter little girl, has your boyfriend dumped you? Poor soul."

"Beth no." Rosie said softly. "Charlie go to the girls."

Charlie meanwhile was shaking with rage.

"Whatever it is you'll get over it easily enough, it can't be that much of a big deal if you are part of her family." she sniffed.

Charlie lunged at Beth swearing to get her. Rosie caught her shoulders. "Go Charlie, I'll get rid of her."

"She says one more word and I SWEAR…" Charlie started.

"Go!" Rosie told her, spun her and pushed her though the door, held it closed so she couldn't return.

"How proud her mother must be, displays like that, if it was my daughter…."

"Her mother is dying!"

Beth had the grace to blush.

"Yeah, her problem is her mother is dying and you said she'll get over it quick enough, not only that but…."

"Rosie." she said softly, face which had been flushed before now pale.

"I have experience in that area." Rosie told her not finishing what she was about to say.

"Because of Sarah?"

"Sarah wasn't my mum. My mums name was Miranda, she died when I was Charlie's age. Now my dads wife, Charlie's mum has Anthrax and she has very little time left…." Rosie felt a throbbing between her temples and pressed her fingers to both sides eyes closed. "So I can do without you picking fights with grief stricken teenagers right now!" she opened her eyes feeling weak. "Now can you please just leave before you do anymore damage!"

Beth left the kitchen, not saying a word. Rosie meanwhile felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. All she wanted was to fall into bed and cry. She braced her hands against the sink and bent over. She wished Alice was here right now, if only for some words of encouragement. She had bottled everything inside, her grief for Shona, her grief for Alice. All her worries and fears, issues with Max. She had no time for tears right now.

A door opened behind her.

"Rosie?"

It was Charlie. "I'm ok." she croaked. Inhaling deeply.

"Don't listen to that old bat!" Charlie told her passionately.

"I'm not." Rosie coughed to try and clear the lump in her throat.

Charlie frowned. "Rosie are you crying?" her voice soft.

"No." and she straightened up and looked out of the window her back to Charlie.

"Rosie…."

"I'll be through in five." Rosie told her sister leaving no room for argument.

Rosie heard her move, but it wasn't towards the door. Charlie put her arms around her, spun her and hugged her tightly. "It's alright to cry." Charlie murmured.

Rosie felt a sob erupt from her and her arms engulfed Charlie. Rosie felt shudders on Charlie's shoulders and knew she wasn't alone. Rosie allowed herself a moment of grief before she pulled herself together, there were two girls in there who needed her to be strong. She pulled from Charlie and collected some kitchen roll, moistened it with cold water, handed the second piece to Charlie. Began to wipe her eyes. She felt the relief immediately.

"Is that the first time you have released it?" Charlie asked.

Rosie nodded. "I don't have time for grief." opened the door to check on the girls. They were sat watching TV none the wiser.

"Rosie this isn't something you can fit on a schedule. You have to release it. When you do you'll feel better, sleep better too."

"I'll try." but Charlie knew it was a lie. "Anyway we need to go to the shops, there is nothing for the kids to eat here. The milk I off, the bread is stale. I bet Max hasn't lived here in a while."

Charlie exhaled knowing that now Rosie had changed the subject nothing would take her back to it. Why was it that everyone was allowed to help her but when she offered it was thrown back in her face time and time again? She was sick of this! "We'd better go to a shop then."

Rosie nodded.

**A/N things are starting to get on top of rosie again...beth is a cow! and Charlie, you see flashes of her old self BUT things r starting to get on top of her too :/ scary stuff! (well in the future it may be for Charlie!)  
><strong>**can i jst say sorry all ppl in my story seem to be doin is crying atm :/ bt there is lots of support and bonding goin on, dunno if that makes up for it  
>i dnt know if i will be able to update 2moro as i have a long day at Uni, late finish eugh! i'll try to update tho may be late if it is... x<strong>


	46. Run

Night had fallen quite quickly. Rosie had bathed Gloria, Ally had went in the bath by herself. She had cooked a tea which again Charlie had barely touched. Now at nine oclock the girls were asleep in the bedroom Max usually occupied. There was a TV program playing in the living room, canned laughter filling the room. Charlie was sitting with a head phone in one ear listening to music, listening to her with her free ear and typing on a laptop talk about multitasking!

"Liv says hi." Charlie said in monotone. "And sorry too….she doesn't say about what though."

"Tell her its fine, and I'll kick her all over when I get back….best add a lol on the end of that." Rosie advised.

Charlie typed, after a few seconds. "Liv said bring it."

Rosie laughed, Charlie didn't. She simply stared at her screen and silence fell again.

"You talking to Liv on facebook?"

"Mmm hmm."

Rosie picked up the remote and started flicking through the TV channels having a one sided conversation was rubbish.

"You should go to him." Charlie told her simply.

"Huh?" placed the remote on the sofa.

Charlie looked at her and removed her headphone from her ear. "Max, you should go to him. You know you want to so you should." and leave her alone. She wanted to be alone!

"Whether or not I want to go is irrelevant. I have you and the girls to look after and I won't leave you alone." Rosie was proud of her reasoning.

"I am not a child." Charlie hissed. "Everyone keeps on saying how well I am taking this, how proud they are of me yet everyone is still watching me really closely like I'm gonna go mad. Guess what I'm not and I can take care of myself! The girls are asleep so what is the problem?"

"And what if the girls get sick while I'm gone? What do you do then? What if there is an accident? There are so many things that you won't know how to handle! I'm not staying coz I think you aren't capable of taking care of yourself."

"Would you go if someone was watching us then?"

"Yeah, I need do speak to Max about stuff…"

"Beth is on her way, problem solved."

Rosie clenched her jaw, Charlie had successfully outmanoeuvred her again, seriously this kid was gonna do her in!

"I told her that you and Max need to discuss a meeting with the girls and you were busy over the next few days and this was the only free time you had. So off you pop, you have no excuses now."

"Charlie…."

Charlie didn't look at her simply looked at her laptop typing. "Liv said you should go too."

"Did she help you with this?"

"Kind of, I needed a contact number for Beth and she looked in Leopards Den phone book."

"I'm gonna strangle her!" Rosie muttered shaking her head.

No one said anything for afew moments. "Just ask yourself whether you love him." Charlie whispered. "If the answer is an unequivocal no then fine, you can still use the time to discuss the meeting you have in a few days."

Charlie did have a point, they did need to discuss the meeting….but what if her dad rang about Alice and Charlie was alone?

"So?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know…."

Charlie's stare was inscrutable and made Rosie squirm. "Are you staying coz of me?"

"No." she said smoothly.

"Liar!" she spat. "I am not incapable of looking after myself, you said so yourself and believe it or not I don't need anyone to hold my hand. You really wanna do me a favour then leave me alone!"

"I'm not trying to hold your hand, I know you're strong but you don't have to be alone!"

"If you are worried about Danny getting in touch do you really think he'll tell me over the phone? He'll get in touch with you first and no doubt you'll make some song and dance about having to get home. I'm not stupid!" Charlie felt this anger just coming from her and she had no idea why, she didn't mean to sound so vicious. "You know what I'm passed caring, I've tried but you just can't help some people!"

"Ok I'll go." Rosie said impulsively knowing that she was winding Charlie up and it wasn't helping her.

"And you won't stalk me by text asking if I'm ok every five minutes?"

"It wouldn't have been every five minutes." Rosie retorted.

Charlie fixed her with the stare again.

"Ok I won't."

Charlie nodded.

Moment later there was a knock at the door, then Beth used her key and walked inside. Rosie walked to her immediately. "Under no circumstances are you to….." Rosie began.

"I have spoken to Charlotte and apologised. She understands that I had no idea of her situation. She is a level headed young girl and her mum did a good job. She told me how you have been helping not only her but raising the girls and trying to keep your family together. I admit before I was rash to say you didn't have any parental instincts." Beth nodded. "I can separate my feelings about you and Max with you being a mother to the girls if you can."

Rosie nodded stiffly. "I appreciate this. I won't be long."

She heard Charlie exhale behind her.

"Take as much time as you need. The bar isn't very busy on Tuesday's."

Rosie approached Charlie knelt down in front of the chair so they were eye to eye. "Are you sure you are ok?" Rosie had noted that she had been somewhat off since their earlier conversation, added to that she seemed to be quick to anger recently.

"Go, I'll be fine." Charlie told her making her voice level.

Rosie nodded and grabbed some keys.

"What is the name of this bar Max is fixing?"

Beth frowned. "He isn't fixing a bar, he is expanding. This is Max's II"

Rosie's eyebrows lifted. He hadn't mentioned to her that he was expanding, then again why would he? They were divorced. She disregarded the sadness that accompanied that thought and left.

As soon as Rosie was gone Charlie felt her mask melt away, all the anger and rage she felt made her whole body feel tense enough to shatter.

Beth looked at her. "You ok?"

Charlie rolled her shoulders trying to dislodge it. She looked at Beth the look on her face unrecognisable. "No, my mum is dying." her void devoid of emotion the emptiness inside her growing larger.

"If you…."

"I don't want to talk about it." she told her coldly jammed her Ipod in her ear and returning to listen to pinks new album.

'_I'm bk Liv.' _she typed.

'**Rosie off then?"**

'_Yep, she finally saw sense….she is doing my head in.'_

**How you holding up then Charlie?" **Liv asked. She had skirted around the question before.

Charlie contemplated lying but what was the point Liv no doubt knew and understood, more than Rosie did to be honest. '_I don't feel good Liv, I feel…..I don't know how I feel. There is something missing….and now I feel SO angry…._

**You spoke to Rosie about this?'**

_Yes." _Charlie lied.

'**It sounds so cliché but it will get better you know. And I hate that I have said this coz I was told the same and I wanted to swing for the people who said it but its true.'**

'_Anyway I didn't message you to tlk about that wuu2? Hows Robster?' _she was sick of talking about this thing with her mum, it wasn't helping. It just made her feel worse.

While Liv listed how Robbie had been since she left Charlie only half paid attention, and only half listened to the pink album until a new song began, a line in it caught her attention.

'_**I wouldn't hurt you like the world did me. I'd keep you safe I'd keep you sweet.'**_

Charlie froze and checked the name of the song. It was called Run. She found herself listening intently.

'_**Everything that I went through I'm grateful you won't have to do. I know you will have to fall I can't hide you from it all.'**_

Charlie sat there knowing that the song was speaking to her, it was trying to tell her a message she just couldn't get it. Pink was singing about running to someone so they could hold her down while Charlie tried vainly to understand.

'_**I've got scars you won't believe wear them proudly on my sleeve.' **_

Charlie felt that line, that was her mum all over. Her mum did have emotional scars, large ones and she had once told Charlie they were badges of honour for everything she had survived. She felt the tears welling in her eyes she imagined that this was her mother singing to her and felt her heart break. She pushed the laptop off her knee and stood up. Still pink sank about running to someone's arms. Charlie suddenly realised she had no ones arms to return to!

"Charlie?" Beth asked.

Charlotte headed for the bathroom and closed the door. Her teeth clenched. The song was ending but Charlie rewound it and out it on repeat, listened to it again and again. She paced restlessly, the more it repeated the faster she moved. She had to get this message! She closed her eyes tightly and concentrated but she heard nothing, just the lyrics.

Her phone beeped Charlie knew it was Rosie and found herself throwing it across the bathroom, it hit the wall with a boom and seemed to shatter before her eyes. She needed her mum right now, not Danny, not Rosie or Liv but her mum why! Why? WHY! As all these feeling were building inside her, almost like an orchestra reaching crescendo she had to release them. She went to a wall and hit it hard, then again and again putting all the force she could muster behind it. After about six or seven times pain finally penetrated and she looked own at her hand. It was a bloody mess. She dropped her head and rested it against the wall for a minute eyes closed.

The line in the chorus played about running and as soon as she wasn't trying she finally got the message, it wasn't a good one though. Run back to my arms…..was she supposed to run to her mum? Was that what she was supposed to do? But that would mean giving up…. She fast forwarded the song and resolved never to listen to it again, that wasn't what Pink was trying to say, the song was about support….but the idea was taking root in her mind and slowly consuming her thoughts.

Her hand was starting to burn so she went to the sink and held it under the cold water, she was gonna have to clean the blood off the wall too. As she held her hand under the water she reached up into the medicine cabinet and pushed bottles aside looking for plasters her hand froze over a box of heavy duty pills….. Impulsively she opened the box and saw that only one pill was missing. She looked at them, then her reflection in the mirror. She slid the box into her pocket. She knew what she had to do, she was sick of everything right now and needed to get away.

**A/N Oh Charlie, you're doing so well! Or is everything as it seems? Keep reading to fin out! G****onna try and get the next chappie up tonight...its finally a rosie/max one doing something very familar! x**

**Oh and i kind of have a track list for this fic, the songs that have inspired me if u want to get a real feel for how certain characters are feelin i can pass it on...that Pink one though...as soon as i heard it i thought it was a Alice/Charlie song and i resolved to use it, then i thought Charlie could twist this the wrong way in her grief as many things do get twisted :/ anyway if u want to know the list jst drop me a line x**


	47. The Only Exception

Rosie reached Max's second bar and saw a brand new sign proclaiming it as Max II, she looked at it for a moment. This had always been a dream of his expanding his business, being financially solvent. His reason were to give her everything she wanted and deserved, all she wanted was his love. Another reason she couldn't tear her eyes away was because he always said that when he opened his second bar her name would be along side his, they had jokingly referred to it as Rax's bar, seeing it as Max II only reinforced how far apart they were now. The dreams of the past were just that, dreams that would never come to fruitition. She climbed from the car and locked it, she was still annoyed that he hadn't told her the real reason he came. She thought he was fixing a bar for his dad but she gathered he was buying it from someone and trying to get it set up and rebranded before he came home. She walked in the door and saw a few people at the bar. Max was serving and laughing with one of the customers, totally at ease, totally in his element. He had been an ace barman so at ease with every aspect and not scared to get stuck in if the crowd got rowdy. A sudden influx of people pushed past her and surged inside the bar and there were people everywhere. Max looked up and she finally saw he was out of his depth. She should leave and tell Beth to go home nd she was going to until she saw Max trying to serve about five people at the same time single handedly. Instead of heading home she found herself texting Beth that the bar was really busy and she was helping out. She took her coat off and slung it across her arm then fought her way through the people to the front. Braced her hands against the counter and jumped over. Max looked at her and his eyes wide when he recognised her. "Rosie?" he gasped.

She grinned cockily. "I think since no one else is here to serve me I'll do it myself." she winked. "Or I could help you serve everyone else."

Max stared at her, she wore tight blue jeans and a purple top looking like she had stepped right out of his dreams…..or the past. They hadn't been behind a bar together for….well years.

"What about it then Max?"

"Any chance of getting served mate?" a man asked angrily breaking Max's thoughts.

"Allow me." Rosie smirked at Max. "What can I get you?" Rosie asked flashing him a brilliant grin.

"Rosie the girls…." Max told her pulling a pint.

"Are with your mum. Its been a while but I haven't forgotten how to do this." her face was full of the cocky arrogant Rosie he knew so long ago, he felt himself falling into her eyes. "Admit it you needed me then and you need me now." Rosie turned to her customer and he rattled off three drinks.

"Sure thing handsome and tell you what why don't we throw in a couple of bags of complimentary nuts for your wait?" the man smiled. "So tell me where you're sitting and I'll bring these right across." she then winked and the man turned into putty in her hands. He went to sit down while Rosie grabbed a pint glass.

"Show off." Max muttered as they stood side by side sorting drinks.

"You either have it or you don't."

"Well when you get it tell me yeah." he joked.

She giggled and he felt heat streak straight through him. "You're just jealous. He would have swung for you but he wanted to kiss me."

He made a face while he was handed some money. "Oh yeah Rosie you are well in there go get him!"

She leaned in closer to his ear. "I just might." she whispered and kissed his cheek.

When he felt her hot breath of his neck the room spun, with the unexpected kiss on the cheek he nearly passed out. She pulled back and looked at him and don't ask him how but she knew how much she had affected him.

"Oh I SO have it!" she laughed and began serving someone else.

All too soon more customers seemed to arrive in droves and Max and Rosie were kept busy for two hour straight. She was buzzing around him getting drinks sorted and taking trays over to customers apologising for the wait, charming them like she had in the past. She laughed with the woman, mostly about him and she flirted with the men, always keeping a distance. He had no idea if she was aware of it but she flirted with him too shamelessly, her body kept brushing his when they passed and he swore he wasn't going to survive.

Although they were undoubtedly busy he still found time to watch her from a discreet distance, like now. She was leaning across the bar chatting with a man, he was teaching her how to make a mixer, he handed her the silver shaker. She wrapped her hands around it and the man repositioned them placing his own over Rosie's.

"Shake it in little bursts."

She did and laughed when he praised her. "How do I throw it around my back?"

"Um…."

"Go on, its worth a free drink if I can." she coaxed.

He nodded and showed her. She did the throw herself and almost made it, until it hit her shoulder and showered her with alcohol.

"Maybe next time huh?" she asked picking up a damp cloth and wiping her shoulder.

"Give it abit practice and you will be perfect." she knelt across the bar looking in his eyes.

"What can I say it's me." she laughed again, happier.

Max disliked how close they were, he disliked the way she smiled at him. She knew she had treated everyone the same all night but he was young and Max saw so much of himself in the young man, especially the way he pursued Rosie.

"I'm Martin by the way."

Max felt his eyes narrow.

"Rosie." and they shook hands.

Max chose that moment to call last orders.

"You busy when you finish work?"

Rosie grinned. "Kind of?"

"For how long?"

She considered. "A while."

"Couldn't you ask your boss if you can leave early?"

She made a face. "I don't think so, see my husband, him over there." she cocked her head to Max. "Might not like me going out with other men, combined with the fact that we have two little girls at home who might need their mum."

Martin nodded clearly getting the hint.

"But thanks for the lesson and I hope to see you in here again."

Everybody was finishing their drinks and every man seemed to come in and ask when Rosie's next shift was. She grinned when she asked by a group of young lads.

"Better ask boss man over there."

Everyone looked at him expectantly.

"We still need to discuss rate of pay." he told them simply.

"And I'm worth much more than he is offering."

"Pay her what she wants!" an older man spoke up.

"Can I work for you Brian?" she laughed.

"If I had a business I'd hire you in a second.

"You're a charmer."

"It's the truth."

Rosie grinned at him. "Anyway I hate to love and leave you guys but there are so many things I have to do in the back." and she excused herself.

Max watched her go without blinking. As soon as she left all the drinks just seemed to disappear and everyone left. Max walked to the doors and locked them while Rosie walked from the back and started collecting glasses. They worked in silence, he sorted the takings placing them in the safe while she wiped tables and placed the chairs on them. Max returned with two glasses and poured them a drink.

"Here." he said.

She looked at him hands on her hips. "Oh so I am finally allowed a break?" she sauntered over and sat across the bar from him.

"I suppose." a smile on his face.

"Slave driver! You didn't use to try and work me to death!" and she picked up her drink, saw it was a red whiskey. He remembered, she liked a dot of blackcurrant in her whiskey. She looked up at him.

He nodded, smiled then tapped his glass with hers. "I had an ulterior motive back then, not working you to death." he elaborated as she frowned.

"Oh." she whispered then made a face. "And you don't now?"

His face turned all mysterious and Rosie felt her head turn light at the heat that flared in his eyes. "Maybe. Or maybe not. I can't be giving away all of my secrets," his voice low floating across to her and smooth against her ears like velvet. She downed her drink in one and he poured her another.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"I have no idea." she admitted impulsively.

He looked at her open mouthed.

"Um…originally I came to discuss the girls. You're mum is watching them. She said Tuesdays nights are quiet. But then my waitress called in sick and then all those people from the football came in."

He nodded.

"You charmed them thoroughly." he grinned then it slipped. "Especially with the mixer man."

"Who Martin?" she smiled. "He's alright."

"Yeah." he told her voice tinged with something she recognised as jealousy.

"Max?"

"No I'm not." he told her not pretending to misunderstand. "We are free agents, you can do what you want."

"It isn't like that, he backed off and I told him something."

She saw the cogs turning in his mind. "What did you say to Martin to make him back off?"

She rounded the bar until she faced him. "That my husband wouldn't like me going out with other men." smiled at him.

His eyes widened.

That wasn't the reaction she expected. Without warning she found herself shouting, "Joke!"

"Oh." he whispered. "What did you…."

"That I wasn't interested."

He nodded, she went to walk past him tried to squeeze past and her top snagged on a hook. She was yanked back a little and she ended up face to face with Max. Rosie suddenly couldn't think, they were so close she could feel the heat eminating from his body and smell the aftershave he wore. Her breathing turned shallow, she looked up slightly and he was staring down at her an intense look upon his face. If they moved just a tiny bit…a fraction then they'd…..

"Here let me help you." his voice tight. Max reached over her and unhooked her top. He then moved swiftly away from her.

She closed her eyes a moment. "Max?" she asked wondering why he didn't kiss her, he had to read in her eyes that she wanted him to.

He turned to face her after scrutinising the shot bottles. "Yeah?"

She searched his face and found he was completely unaffected. She lost her nerve. "Nothing," walked to the sink and filled the mop bucket with soap. Returned to her tables. Max's mind was meanwhile running in circles. She had wanted him to kiss her, he knew it! Then why hadn't he? He had felt the urge but hadn't been able to move. He was gonna try again, he walked over to a jukebox and pressed a button. The sound of piano filled the room. He walked towards her.

"Dance with me." he asked offering his hand.

She looked at it, then him. The way he had rejected her earlier had reminded her of all the reasons why they couldn't be together, he didn't trust her and that was why he hadn't kissed her. Nothing really had changed, and a stupid dance wasn't gonna do anything either.

"No." and moved to the next table.

"Rosie." he repeated. "Dance with me." his voice soft, low and seductive.

She made the mistake of looking in his eyes, those midnight blue eyes she hadn't been able to resist since the first time she had seen him. "Max…." she exhaled.

He read the look in her eyes and clenched his jaw. Whatever had happened earlier had been a blip obviously, a mistake. He spun and pulled the plug on the jukebox and moved to the bar to put glasses in the dishwasher.

"We need to talk about the girls Max, we need to sort school and somewhere to live and….."

"I'm gonna go in the back, one of the pumps is sticky."

She nodded and he disappeared. She exhaled noisily and started to sweep the floor. As she did she heard Charlie in her head.

'Just ask yourself whether you love him, nothing else matters right now.'

Rosie frowned, it wasn't that simple though, these things did matter. It wasn't that she didn't have deep feelings….

'Don't skirt it is it feelings or love?' mental Charlie chided.

OK YES I love him! Erupted in her head and she swore she heard Charlie laughing. She pushed the brush across the floor. She didn't love him like before though, which was the weird thing. She felt like she had fallen for him again, they were both different than before. Years ago when they first started had had been all intense, sneaking about with Thandi and then being able to be together and as fun it had all been she wasn't that person. Now they had sort of fell into a .. .well the relationship was grown up. They had responsibilities, they had kids and jobs and bills and to be fair she didn't even want to sneak around she wanted to build a life.

'Build it then.' Charlie told her.

What about the trust? That was what she couldn't get passed….he had hurt her so much with how it all ended. They had intentionally said things that would cause great pain to the other….and they were still doing it now, or she was. Allowing him to get slightly closer only to push him away farther than before. Wasn't fair on him or his feelings was it?

'If you love him then work it out together.'

Rosie stopped sweeping and stared at her reflection in the glass above the bar. "What can it hurt just to try?" she whispered to herself. "You have nothing at all to lose but everything to gain." she remained rooted to the spot for what felt like forever searching her own face for signs that this wasn't what she wanted, truly wanted. Soon a small smile was starting to bloom across her face.

"Ok." she whispered nerves filling her. No messing about this time, and no waiting for him to make the first move either. Mind made up to headed fore the juke box and turned it on. She searched and found the perfect song. Turned it up the whole way and hoped he got the message….now it was all up to him.

(X)

Max was moving bottles around the cellar noisily so angry at himself for actually believing that Rosie might actually be able to move past what happened during the divorce. Then again who was he kidding? She remembered everything and had never been able to let it go….she had never really got over the fact that he tried to begin a relationship with her while he was still with Thandi, that was a favourite of hers during the divorce, was he dwelling on it? No, coz he knew she loved him….or he thought she had.

He exhaled and lugged another crate. Dropped it. Why was he even bothering? C'mon if it took THIS much to get them started they wouldn't last. To be fair they would be destined to fail. What if he managed to catch Rosie in a weak moment and she gave in then regretted it but couldn't go back because they had the girls now. Could he stand being trapped in a loveless marriage? Well not loveless, he loved her. But he couldn't stand being with her knowing that every second she spent with him she would rather be somewhere else, or possibly with someone else. It would drive him mad! He heard the brush moving across the floor and closed his eyes. Maybe it was time to face defeat, no matter how much he cared about her, no matter how much he needed her…..no matter how much he loved her it made no difference. The end was the end.

As that thought ended he heard the strains of guitar come drifting down to him and the unmistaken hint of piano. He felt like he should know this tune. The first line began to play and he felt his heart stumble in his chest.

'_When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind, he broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.'_

His throat tightened as he looked in the direction of the stairs. He had bought this jukebox because of this song! The significance of this song and their relationship was scary. Back in the beginning, the very beginning she hadn't wanted to talk about her mum at all. He thought it had been because she missed her mum but what she hadn't wanted to talk about was her dad's reaction to her mums death. How it had almost destroyed him and that she didn't want to EVER love someone that much that she couldn't function without them. The scars from that had ran deep, and somehow he helped her. She had been so sure they were gonna last forever….. his hand covered his mouth. He had forgot that conversation, how could he have forgot that….oh and their divorce….what that must have done to her…."Oh Rosie." he whispered. "You should have said." and as the music played he headed to her. He found Rosie leaning against the jukebox. Neither said a word, simply looked at each other with unblinking stares.

"You are the only exception." she told him. "My song for you."

He couldn't seem to form a reply.

"You'll only ever be the only exception."

Even though she seemed to be giving everything he wanted he still felt compelled to say a line from the song.

"_I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some sort of proof it isn't a dream." _it was a plea really. He had to know that she was sure and that tomorrow she wouldn't be full of regrets.

She smiled at him wide and real and walked towards him. Hopped over the bar like she had earlier, maybe because she was so eager to get to him….he hoped. HGe didn't wait long to find out, she wrapped her arms around his shoulder and kissed him deeply.

He responded immediately pulling her closer feeling that everything that was going wrong between them might just fix itself if they could stay like this forever….or a little while at least.

Rosie revelled in the feelings which must have lain dormant since the demise of their marriage. Even towards the end when they had shared their chaste kisses she hadn't felt like this. For the first time in so long she felt like she had come home, to her real home. He pulled back but she remained in his arms and he exhaled a shaky breath as they held each other close. "I've missed you." he whispered against her hair. "I have missed you SO much." the words not really an indication of how much he had ached for her. It hadn't been immediate but it had happened.

She finally pulled from him, although her arms didn't relinquish their hold. "Me too." she replied. "I love you."

He looked in her eyes and saw no trace of doubt within them, she did love him. All his doubts were soon erased. He cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you too."

When Max heard her say those words he'd felt elation burst in his chest and she was against him he was squeezing her almost scared she was going to disappear. It felt like an age that they remained like that….but all too soon reality intruded.

"I hate to break the moment." she said against his chest. "But we do have to get home and we do have to discuss the girls….." he loosened his hold and she pulled back smiling at him.

"Come with me…."

"But the floor." she interrupted.

"Can wait." and he took her hand and led her outside.

While he locked up she climbed inside his car, after he climbed in they drove through some dark streets. He stopped somewhere Rosie didn't recognise. It was a residential neighbourhood, lights burned in all of the houses except the one they were parked at.

"Max?"

He climbed from the car, opened her door took her hand in his and walked her towards the front door. Took a key from his pocket and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked knowing deep down but needing him to confirm it.

"It's yours."

"You bought a house? When?"

"The sale was finalised two weeks before you left. It wasn't ready then, I was planning on having my dad and Will help me fix it up and I was going it to give you an anniversary present."

Her jaw was slack.

"That was why I was away a lot, I was sorting this out. The reason we didn't have a lot of money was because it took a while for funds to go through, my bar wasn't in trouble I just didn't want to ruin the surprise and finally everything with Marrisa, her dad is a contractor and she was my go between. There was no relationship, there never was. In the shop she was asking me again if I still needed him."

The air was forced from Rosie's body. "You should have told me." she squeaked tears coming to her eyes, her mind filled with every nasty word she spat at him.

"It was a present, I thought eventually she'll know and we'll be fine it never occurred to me that it would go as far as it did and then when it did it was too late I never stopped loving you Rosie but I thought you stopped loving me and that is why I granted you the divorce and never told you about this place."

"Max I never stopped loving you, I never will!" and she threw herself in his arms feeling all the old anger and bitterness melt away.

"So we trying again?" he asked softly.

"You bet. I want it all, I want you. I want the girls. I want our house and later I want us to expand out family."

"I think its best we don't rush things."

She nodded in agreement. "Expanding our family comes later, we have no idea how long its going to take to get the girls settled." then she frowned and looked at their house. "We have wasted so much time."

"Which is why this time we need to get us right." he kissed her softly. "We have our whole lives to add to our family."

She tried to deepen the kiss but he pulled away and she made a face. He grinned.

"So can I have a look around?"

"Not right now, dad and Will have been working night and day to try and get it sorted. Its nearly done, not quite."

"Does it matter?"

"Not in the large scale of things but to me yeah. See there was a time I thought you would never see this place so I need everything to be perfect."

"It already is." she smiled. "Because it's ours."

He shook his head "Its yours and only yours. Your name is on the deeds."

"Well that is getting changed, its ours." she kissed him this time. "I was wondering when you said take it slow how slow it slow?"

He grinned at her cockily. "Oh snails pace…."

She raised an eyebrow.

"But I could be persuaded…."

**A/N ok so the rax are fixed... the paramore song love it! Both coming to the realisation that they hurt not obnly eavh othe rbut themseleves and FINALLY some truths which needed to be said BUT all is not fixed EG danice, charlie more problems for the family which lie ahead...  
><strong>**Heres the thing though, you might know i am in my final year of uni and i have got my deadlines and OMFG seriously i have a full year of back to back work!  
>SO as of Tuesday i can't guarentee a update i am gonna bash this fic (so expect LONG chappies) and try to get it finished by tues but to be fair i dont think i'll be able to (as it isn't finished being written!) but i can say that if you guys keep reading i will keep writing it...so PLEASE stay with it and with me as i have more ideas in my head for other fics x<strong>


	48. Promise Me

Rosie and Max walked into his flat side by side. He was whispering in her ear his arm around her shoulders. He laughed low and seductive in her ear and she shushed him. He closed his front door and pressed her against the hallway wall. "Why are you shushing me?" he whispered pressing soft kisses to her lips.

Rosie found her hands skimming his back. "Coz the kids…."

He kissed her into silence.

"And your mum…." she carried on.

He kissed her deeper.

"Are probably asleep." she finished breathless.

"Oh…. " she saw his grin clearly in the darkness. "And we wouldn't want to wake them huh?"

The look in his eyes made her heart flutter….. "No…"

Her took a step back. "I better let you go then?" he told her simply.

She frowned confused.

He leaned in his mouth close to her ear. "I know you're a screamer…."

Rosie blushed crimson and her hands covered her mouth.

He laughed, having never felt so happy in so long. He loved teasing her.

"O I hate you, you know that don't you!"

"No you don't." then he walked down the hallway.

"Um, yeah I do." she told him seriously her eyes twinkling with good humour.

He spun. "Prove it." his tone full of the old cocky Max she had loved so much.

"How?"

He shrugged then moved quick as lightning, had her pressed against the wall once again. Kissed her full of heat and passion completely unrestrained. Rosie responded in kind. He pulled back quickly feeling that was about to escalate. They both stood in the hallway breathing heavily. When he noticed how glazed her expression was he wiggled his eyebrows.

She muttered under breath, he caught the words cocky….sod….and a couple of others he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. He smiled.

Rosie saw the smile, not the cocky smile, or the arrogant I can get you to do what I want coz I'm brilliant smile his normal smile when he was actually happy, just normal happy when he smiled like that she could look at him all day.

"What?" looked behind him. "What are you smiling at?" he asked when he saw her star struck face.

She shook her head, "Nothing, just you." and those words said it all. It was just him, HE could make her look at him like that. He pulled her close again. "I love you so much." pressed his forehead to hers.

"I love you too." she pulled back. "But we can't be like this around the kids. As much as I am thrilled we are back together they have to take precedence."

He was close to her once again. "They are in bed like you say." nuzzled her neck.

"Yeah, your bed! We have the choice of the floor in the bedroom or the living room and pretty much no where else as I'm sure your mum is on the sofa."

Max made a face as he released her. "Tomorrow we are getting bunk beds for the girls and my mum is no where in sight!" he grumbled.

She laughed lowly kissed his cheek then crept down the hallway into the living room. Saw Beth was face down on the sofa her arm dangling to the floor. Max went to her and covered her up, kissing her cheek softly. Rosie headed for the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and froze solid when she found Charlie slumped across the kitchen table, a box of tablets open by her side.

"Max!" she yelled and skidded to her knees by Charlie immediately checking her pulse. She found it strong beneath her fingers but her skin was clammy to the touch. Her mind went blank and for what felt like an age she had no idea what to do.

"MAX!" she yelled louder and this time he ran into the kitchen. "What is it? I was checking….." he saw the box and paled. He went to it while Rosie was trying to rouse Charlie.

He looked at the box. "Rosie…."

"C'mon Charlie, wake up, what have you taken? How many have you taken?"

Charlie muttered incoherently, inhaled deeply.

Max meanwhile was shaking the contents of the box out into his hand.

"Oh God!" Rosie whispered. "I'm gonna have to phone an ambulance, I knew something was wrong I should have been watching her!" she berated. "Instead I was...

Max was looking at the sleeves of pills, only two tablets were missing, the rest were full. "Rosie they are sleeping tablets, she has only taken 2 at most, one I think."

Rosie looked at him until his words penetrated, when they did she exhaled in relief and sat on the floor looking ashen. Rosie had thought that history was gonna repeat itself well not exactly repeat. She rested her hand in her palm, she had did this once, contemplated taking some pills and ending it all. She had went as far as collecting them when her dad had found her with them. That was what woke him up from the daze he'd been in after her mum died. They never spoke about it but she could tell sometimes when he looked at her when she was stressing out he remembered and that is why he helped her. Because he never wanted to let her down in such a way again. Her hand moved from her head through her hair and she stood up. She bent down and kissed Charlie's head softly. "You're so much stronger than me." knowing Charlie it probably didn't even enter her head to do that, she just wasn't that kind of person.

"You ok?" Max asked.

Rosie nodded.

"Memories?" she had told him about her own experience years ago.

Rosie nodded again.

"C'mere." and he wrapped her up in a hug offering her the comfort she needed.

"What if she had Max, what then? How do I explain….."

"It's ok." kissed her softly. "It didn't happen, and it won't. You won't let it."

He released her and while Max put the tablets away Rosie lifted up Charlie and carried her through to the room where the girls slept. It was with great difficulty as Charlie practically matched her in height. She laid Charlie down beside Ally she rolled into as tight ball a frown on her face, worried even in sleep. Rosie smoothed the covers over her and knelt down.

"I'm so proud of you tight now." she whispered. "And I know Alice will be too." ran her hand over the top of her head then walked from the room and to Max who waited for her beside the bathroom. As Rosie left she made a decision to never tell Charlie that she knew she took tablets that night. Well unless it became a regular occurrence that is.

(X)

Alice had been asleep for over twenty four hours. The doctors tried to reassure Danny that her body would be physically exhausted from fighting off the anthrax and she should be left to rest as much as she needed to. They had also tried to tell him that she was sleeping and not slipping back into a coma but he was still on edge. She never lay that still, she never slept that deeply. She always responded to when he touched her hand, even if it was her fingers tightening around his. But no, there was nothing. What made matters even worse was that he was still waiting for the results from her tests too. Didn't they know what this was doing to him? He knew as well as the doctors how rare spontaneous recovery was! I mean it didn't just happen! Yeah Alice was amazing and brilliant and out of this world but even for her a spontaneous recovery just seemed….he just needed her to wake up, that is all.

He had rang home and it had almost killed him not being able to pass on the good news. He yearned to tell someone but he knew how well Leopards Den grapevine worked. In no time at all everyone in Jo'burg would know that Alice was better and if Alice suddenly relapsed the family would all fall apart. The stress of it wasn't doing him any good either! Almost on cue Alice moved her head and sighed. Her eyes opened slowly, they seemed to clear she saw him and smiled.

The relief he felt at not only seeing the smile but gazing into the gorgeous clear blue that were her eyes was indescribable. "Hello sleepy head." ran his hand down her cheek worries forgotten.

"Hey." she yawned. "How long have I been asleep?" she actually felt strong enough to raise her hand and rub her eyes.

He smiled. "Twenty seven hours."

Her eyes were wide. "Whoa, no wonder I feel so lethargic then."

Danny studied her, she seemed to be taking easier, it was still a little slow and halted but her voice was stronger than before. Tentative hope began to bloom. "How do you feel?" squeezing her hand.

"A little bit sick but mostly hungry. I could kill a bacon sandwich, or sausage….and mushrooms." her stomach grumbled. "Feed your wife." she asked a plea in her eyes. "I promise to love you forever if you do."

"You sound so much better." he told her kissing her hand. "Moaning about lack of food is a good indication. I remember when you were pregnant. I had to feed you on the hour!"

"Your child made me hungry!" She protested playfully. "Wasn't my fault!"

He smiled more, his face hurting with how wide it was. "Tell you what I'll have Nomsa knock you up a five course meal."

She frowned. "Nomsa? In London? Since when?" her face confused.

"Alice we're not in London," his smile falling. "We're home in South Africa. How do you think you caught Anthrax?"

"Oh... yeah..." she frowned then nodded. "Sorry I'm a bit fuzzy, how is everyone? Have they missed me?"

"Um…."

"Did we come for a holiday and got roped into the effort?" oblivious to his discomfort.

"Alice what is the last thing you remember?" his heart pounding.

"Well I shouldn't really be telling you this but I've been looking at brochures and have booked some time for the four of us at the Lake District." mind you South Africa is a far stretch away from that." she laughed. "We must have really got lost."

"She had told him about the visit to the lakes about five weeks ago, he had no idea when she actually booked it. "Alice that was over a month ago."

She frowned. "Really?" her eyes lit up. "What have I missed, I haven't gossiped with you in ages!"

He was silent. She forgot Michael, the arguing, the divorce. This could be a fresh start…..

She shook her head. "Doesn't matter, I'm sure it'll all come back to me. Right now I'm dying to see my boy and girls.

He smiled absently nodding sensing when she remembered everything it was all gonna hit the fan!

(X)

Danny was sat chatting to Alice when the doctor walked in. "Hello Mrs Trevanion."

"Call me Alice." she requested.

The doctor nodded and looked at her notes. "You seem to be a lot stronger than the last time we spoke."

"I feel it." she agreed. "A good nights sleep always worked wonders for me." winked at Danny.

"How do you feel?"

"Hungry." she moaned. "Apart from feeling a little bit sick and lethargic I'm good, ready to take on the world, or at least save it one animal at a time."

The doctor raised an eyebrow at her. "We don't want you taking on too much right now."

"I know, tell that to my jailer." she nodded at Danny.

"Do you have any aches or pains?"

"Nope."

"Headaches, blurred vision?"

Alice shook her head. "I have lost a month though."

"Excuse me?" the doctor asked.

"Well I woke up expecting to be in London a month ago, give or take."

The doctor looked at Danny who was sheepish. "Give it a little time and your memory should return."

She smiled and nodded. "Can I eat something? Pretty please?"

The doctor laughed at her voice. "Yes I don't see why not."

Alice sat up straighter and clapped. "Ok Danny I need you to find a takeaway and get me a Alice special."

Danny stared at her. "Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah, I have a major craving for an Alice special!"

The doctor stared at Danny's disgusted face. "Do I want to know?" he enquired.

"It's something Alice dreamed up in her final trimester of pregnancy. An Alice special is fish and chips with spam fritter and corned beef pattie with mushy peas curry and gravy. Trust me it's disgust….."

"Lovely." Alice interjected. "And just enough for someone who hasn't eaten in over a week!"

"Except Alice has only ever ate it while pregnant so I predict that someone will be throwing up!" he told her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"We would prefer that you ate healthier food at the moment." The doctor said softly.

"Grease might make me better!" she spoke up hopefully.

"I doubt that Mrs Trevanion."

She grimaced. "So how healthy is healthy?"

"Since breakfast is a little while away I'll see if the nurses can find you a salad."

"A salad?" she shrieked. "Rabbit food? I need carbs! I need fat! C'mon I almost died gimmie a break!" she pleaded sounding almost like Dupe.

"No." the doctor replied brokering no room for argument.

Alice made a face and began muttering under her breath.

"Anyway back to the reason I'm here. We have the results from all the tests and from what we can gather the Anthrax is no longer present in your system."

"How did that happen?" Alice said shocked.

"We have no idea, we have gave you that many drugs since the operation it will take a while to see which on actually worked. All we know is that something along the way saved you."

"So?" Danny asked wanted it spelled out clearly.

"Well we want to keep her in until Alice regains some strength and we are going to carry on with the course of anti-viral's but essentially…."

"Are you saying that I beat Anthrax?" Alice's voice full of awe.

The doctor nodded.

She looked at Danny. "Go me! I kick ass!" and she laughed happily.

Danny meanwhile had slumped back in his chair, his face pale and blank.

She sat up and leaned closer to him. "Hey honey. This is good news." she glanced at the doctor who was beside him checking his vitals. "His temp and pulse seem fine." he murmured.

"Yeah except he's in shock!" Alice retorted.

"He will be fine in no time if he is still like this in say twenty minutes call a nurse who will give him a sedative. Anyway congratulations Mrs Trevanion. I have to say you are my favourite kind of patient. All I seem to do sometimes is give out bad news." he rubbed his forehead his brown hair falling into his eyes.

"I feel like I should be thanking you." she leant down and took Danny's hand in hers and rubbed it soothingly.

"I doubt we did anything. To be fair Mrs Trevanion you were too far gone when you got here. Some patients make spontaneous recovery's and rarely miracles happen. I think you being here healthy is one of those."

"Was I really that ill?" she gasped finally beginning to understand how close she came to actually losing her life.

"Only two days ago you were on a ventilator. You went into grand mal seizure. We then told Mr Trevanion that it was a matter of time before you died."

Alice's face was troubled and her hand rushed to her head. She had been so flippant about everything when Danny actually had to face the prospect of losing her. "I guess this hit him hard?"

"I have to admit he looks a lot healthier since you woke. I was concerned about his state of mind. I don't think he ever gave up hope that you'd get well. There was always a spark of it in him."

"That's my Danny." she whispered and kissed the back of his hand. "Thank you doctor." she told him. "It might have been something you did which saved my life and if it was, thank you."

"You are very welcome." and on that note he left.

Alice meanwhile sat up wincing as her back protested and the stitches in her chest pulled. She swung her legs around and put her hands on Danny's face.

"Honey look at me." she coaxed then leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. At the contact his eyes flew to hers.

"I'm fine." she whispered a small smile on her face. "I'm here all better. I'm healthy!"

Danny stared at her for a moment. "Really?" his voice a squeak. "You're really fine? You're not gonna die?"

She had a flippant answer already on her lips before she ordered it away. Danny needed to know she was serious. She nodded. "Really."

He looked fine one minute then the next he visibly crumpled before her eyes. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Alice leaned across and lay her head against the top of his. Her cheek rested against his hair.

Danny meanwhile cried for everything. For all the angry words that had been said between them. For all the fights. For almost losing her and getting her back. Most of all he cried from sheer relief. He was going to find a way to make them ok. He knew it! As the tears subsided he looked up at her. She have him a half smile and even though she looked tired and pale she had never looked more beautiful to him than that second!

He cupped her face. "I love you, you know that? Tell me you know I love you!" he told her urgently.

"Of course I know that." she laughed. "I have never doubted it. Ever! Even recently in London. You were adjusting that's all."

He looked in her eyes. "Promise me that no matter you'll always believe I love you."

"Danny?" she asked getting worried now.

"Promise me!" he pleaded.

"Ok, if it makes you feel better than yes. Daniel Lawrence Trevanion loves me Alice Trevanion forever and ever no matter what happens to us. No matter what either of us say or do or whatever. Happy?"

"Don't forget." he requested.

"Never." and she dropped a kiss on his nose. "Ok…." she said moving on. "Here are your orders. First ring our family and tell them that Super mum here is fine and dandy. Then find a takeaway or cafe, probably hard at such a early hour and get me an Alice special."

A grin transformed his face eradicating all the sadness and darkness from his soul. "What about your salad?"

"Pfft." was her vehement reply.

**A/N ok people the rax are all loved up, Alice is going to survive and Charlie didn't take any pills (I dnt know if you noticed but i didnt tell you what tablets she found) ok yeah im evil... everyone is safe...you'd think that wouldn't you? i think you all know that by now ANYTHING can happen in my stories hmmmmm  
>ANYHOO danny's words there at the end may very well come back to bite him on the ass! I will have another update up sometime tonight hope your enjoying x<strong>


	49. A Visit

Rosie felt her the alarm on her phone vibrating in her pocket before she heard it. She rolled it stop it and fell on the floor. She opened her eyes and was looking at the ceiling of Max's living room. She sat up and leant on the chair she had been sleeping on then promptly fell off. She groaned and pulled the phone from her pocket before the noise woke Max and his mother.

Note to self, don't sleep on chairs. She straightened her stiff back, it felt like it was in bits! It was then she remembered that she suggested it, sleeping on the floor will be hard Max she'd said. God how wrong was she? NEVER AGAIN! She got up and walked to check on the girls, still trying to work the kinks from her spine. She walked in and found the three of them all still sleeping soundly so decided that a shower was in order….except she had no idea where Max kept his clean towels…if he even had any! She had brought a couple herself but she had used them on the girls and the ones she had washed were still sat in the machine. She headed back to the living room and towards Max, knelt over him. "Max!" she whispered.

He made a face and grunted at her.

She made a oh I'm gonna make you wish you hadn't grunted at me face and poked him in the arm. "Max!"

His hand came from no where and swatted at her.

"C'mon Max I need a shower and I dunno where the towels are!"

He was still a moment, then his eyes opened a crack and a naughty smile snaked across his face. "Oh a shower has definite possibilities." he moved his head and kissed her quickly.

"Max I need to get in before the girls wake up."

He exhaled and stretched, made an uncomfortable face. "In the cupboard in the spare room….and yes I have clean towels." he added.

"Thanks. She kissed him softly then skipped off. Found the room quickly and went to the cupboard humming softly a made up tune. As she searched she didn't hear the bedroom door open and someone creep to her. She was soon spun quickly and max silenced her scream of alarm as he covered her mouth with his own Rosie's shout was soon replaced with a soft moan as his hands explored her body.

"You feel so much different than before…." he murmured as he intimately searched every dip and crevice. "You're better." and pulled her closer.

"Max…." was all she could whisper as his hands lit fires wherever they touched.

She was about to start undressing him where he stood when her phone vibrated in her pyjama pocket and she was yanked back to reality.

"Max…." this time without the haze of desire clouding her vision. She put her hands on his chest and pushed gently. Smiled when his face was mutinous. "Not exactly slow."

He made a disgusted sound low in his throat. Her phone continued vibrating. She pulled it out and her stomach dropped.

"Sweetheart?" he asked seeing the change in her immediately.

"Its my dad." she whispered. "No doubt Alice has…." she exhaled heavily.

Max put his arm around her shoulder as the ringing ceased. Rosie swallowed staring at her phone.

"If she had died then he'll ring again." Rosie stood wishing feverently that it didn't…..the phone flashed and vibrated.

"I'm here to help." he said against her forehead his lips pressed to her head. "So no matter what he says you aren't alone."

She nodded and pressed connect. "Hello?"

Max had never heard Rosie sound so small and unsure before. He held her closer.

"Rosie it's dad."

The first thing Rosie noticed was how happy her dad sounded. She could almost feel it through the phone! "Dad?"

"Rosie it's Alice she…."

Rosie braced herself for bad news.

"….She's awake and not only that but she is talking!"

"What?" erupted from her.

"Yeah I know, amazing isn't it? It's unbelievable Rosie but its real!"

Rosie pulled free of Max's hold and headed into the bedroom where Charlie and the girls occupied. "Two seconds dad…." and put the phone on the bedside cabinet. "Charlie…." she coaxed. Knew this couldn't wait. "Wake up."

Charlie came awake slowly, almost reluctantly. "Rosie?" she asked voice rough with sleep.

Rosie picked up the phone and tried to hand it to her. "Dad wants to speak to you…."

Charlie looked at it with disgust and shook her head and pushed the phone away. "I don't want to hear it." then turned over and hid under the blanket.

Rosie pulled the blanket off and uncovered her face. "You do!"

Charlie stared at her earnest face then took the phone. Raised it to her ear slowly. "Hello Danny its Charlie."

"Charlie oh sweetie I have the best news, your mum is awake. She's gonna be fine!"

Charlie paled was she actually awake? she wondered. She looked at Rosie who nodded.

"Charlie?" Danny asked.

"Are you sure? Definitely sure?" she whispered.

"She isn't going to leave you Charlie, honestly."

"Can I speak to her?"

"The phone affects some of her monitors. Sorry but you can come visit any time you want. She can't wait to see you."

"Tell mum I'll be there soon." Charlie promised. Handed the phone to Rosie, climbed from bed and headed for the shower.

Rosie put the phone to her ear. "I'll bring her to see her dad."

"ok sweetheart, see you soon." Rosie disconnected and found Charlie in the bathroom.

"Do you know where the towels are?"

Rosie tossed her the one she was going to use. "I'll take you to hospital yeah?"

Charlie nodded stiffly. "Thanks."

Rosie couldn't help but wonder why Charlie wasn't over the moon about this. She didn't seem happy at all to be honest. "You ok?"

Charlie nodded. "I'll be better when I can see her that's all."

Rosie nodded understanding.

"Will I be able to see her so early in the morning?"

"She's in a private room so I guess so," Rosie replied.

"Good." and as Charlie adjusted the shower Rosie left stating that she was going to start breakfast.

By the time Charlie had showered and dressed both girls were up and had found out that Charlie was leaving with Rosie.

"I wanna go!" Ally pouted her arms crossed tightly. She pushed her breakfast plate away.

"Sweetie me and Charlie aren't going home." Rosie told her.

Ally's face was mutinous. "It isn't fair!"

"Well Rosie if you want you could take Charlie to hospital and I could take the girls home to leopard Den." Max offered.

"What about the bar? The house?"

"I can ask Will to take care of the house and dad to sort the bar well at least until I can get back later. When you get home then I'll come back here to sort things."

"Please Aunty Rosie there's nothing for me to do here!" Ally moaned. It's boring."

Gloria had remained silent throughout the exchange.

"Charlie?" Rosie asked.

"Fine with me." too nervous to eat breakfast, she just wanted to see her mum.

"We'll have to delay leaving a little while so I can gets the girls sorted.

Charlie looked torn then nodded. Ally meanwhile dashed to her room to get dressed.

(X)

About halfway through the journey to hospital Gloria shifted in her seat. "Auntie Wosie I need to go to the toilet." she moaned.

Rosie looked at Max.

"Call of nature." he murmured.

Rosie spotted an empty car park ahead apart from a few random cars and swung inside quickly opposite a café. Rosie killed the engine.

"C'mon everyone bathroom break."

"I'm fine." Charlie said.

"Me too." Ally echoed.

"You may aswell, it'll mean less stops on way to the hospital." Rosie told them.

"I don't need to though." Ally said completely exasperated.

"Look if you two need to go in to do whatever with Gloria I can watch Ally you know." Charlie told them.

Rosie scrutinised her and realised that Charlie didn't deserve this. She had matured so much recently. "Thanks, do you two want anything from the café?"

"Will you get me a drink please?" Ally asked.

"Nothing for me thanks." Charlie told her. "Stomach is too full of nerves. If I eat anything I think I'll throw up."

Even though Charlie insisted she didn't want anything Rosie still resolved to get her something, she needed to eat, she would feel better if she did.

She was about to leave when she decided to at least warn them. "Hey Charlie don't let Ally out of the car yeah? Just with the motorway being so close."

"Yes mother." Charlie muttered. "God I'm not stupid."

Rosie laughed and carried Gloria towards the café. "While I take Gloria into the toilet why don't you order us all something to drink. Make mine a milky coffee and get the three kids a soft drink, nothing fizzy. Milk if you can."

"You are such a mum!" he told her impulsively.

"Really? How?"

"No fizzy drinks, milk. Sorry but that's the sort of stuff my mum did to us."

Her face was full of surprise for a moment. "Mine too." she whispered softly and started to smile. Then she shook her head. "Best get this little lady into the bathroom huh?"

He nodded and turned to the counter.

As she opened the door she halted. "Max keep an eye in the car too."

He nodded and she took the child into the toilet. After Gloria did what she had to and they were just about to wash their hands there was a massive explosion that seemed to rock the foundations around them.

Rosie suddenly had a very bad feeling. "Oh no." she whispered.

"What was that?" Gloria asked eyes wide.

Rosie rushed out of the bathroom almost dragging Gloria behind her.

"Aunt Wosie I didn't wash my hands" Gloria told her sternly. "I always wash my hands."

Rosie didn't hear her. She saw Max was stood outside of the café face pale. Their car was gone, not only that but there was trail of destruction leading up to the place it used to occupy and beyond. Oh this could NOT be good, no good at all!

**A/N so what has happened? Are the two girls safe? Well you'll have to wait until later on ppl (as it's 00:25 right now.) ta ta x**


	50. Slipped Away

Charlie sat in the car waiting for Rosie to return. She fiddled with the hem of her white jumper didn't notice Ally watching her.

"This is about your mum huh?" Ally asked.

Charlie looked at her then nodded. "My dad got in touch saying that she is better." her stomach twisted.

Ally frowned when she saw Charlie rubbing her stomach uncomfortably. "Isn't that good news?"

"The best." Charlie agreed.

Ally still didn't understand.

Charlie rubbed her head. "What if they are wrong? What if I get there and she's gone?" she smiled reassuringly at the little girl. "Guess I'm being silly huh?"

Ally nodded. "A little bit I think." Ally exhaled. "Is that where you are going? To see your mum?"

"Yeah. I feel ill to be honest." she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was probably nerves….but why was the feeling getting worse?

Silence stretched in the car. "Will you still be my friend if you're mum doesn't die?"

"Of course Ally. Why wouldn't I be your friend? Where did that come from?"

"Dunno. Coz we wouldn't be the same anymore." Ally whispered looking at the floor of the car.

Charlie laughed at her and patted her little head. "Hey, look at me." her voice soft.

Ally raised her eyes though her head was still low.

"Me and you will always be the same and we'll always be friends. Promise."

Ally looked relieved.

"You know why we'll always be friends?"

Ally shook her head.

"Coz you're my family and I'm your big sister."

"But we have a different mum and dad." Ally replied.

"Rosie isn't related to me and she is my big sister. It doesn't matter. What matter is that we feel like that and I do."

Ally tried to lean across and hug her but the belt restricted her. Charlie unsnapped her own belt and scooted across. It was awkward to fasten Ally's belt due to Gloria's car seat. She pulled her close and wrapped her arms around her.

"I always wanted a little sister." Charlie whispered. "And I think you are perfect."

Ally smiled and squeezed her tightly. They remained like this for a few minutes then Charlie pulled away.

"I'm just gonna get out and stretch my legs ok?"

"Can I play on angry birds and listen to the music on your phone."

Charlie handed it to her. "Knock yourself out." and she climbed from the car trying to ease her cramped muscles. As Ally put the ear buds in her ear and nodded her head Charlie stretched high, then placed her feet apart raised her face to the heavens and closed her eyes inhaling the morning air deeply.

There was a rumbling which steadily grew louder which made Charlie open her eyes and look in that direction. Her jaw dropped as she saw an 18 wheeler truck heading straight for the car, a man slumped across the wheel. She expelled a string of curse words and was about to turn tail and run when she froze and saw Ally listening to music on the phone launching those birds at buildings. "Ally." she whispered and dived into the car. The first thing she did was start yanking at the belt.

"C'mon!" she hissed.

"Charlie?" Ally asked the ear buds falling out.

"C'MON!" she yelled when it refused to budge, Charlie made the mistake of looking out of the back window and saw the truck practically on top of them. Her heart was pounding frantically. She took Ally's hand and placed it on the handle of the roof of the car. Squeezed it on.

"Hold on!" she ordered. Put her other hand on the chair. "Don't let go!"

"Charlie?" Ally's voice a whisper.

Charlie replied by putting her hand on her head and lowering it. "I'm your sister so trust me ok?"

"What is…." she tried to lift her head.

"Close your eyes…."

Charlie lowered her own head and wrapped one arm around it and she put the other around Ally. She closed her eyes, her chest heaving with fear. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure it was about to burst from her chest! There was a roaring right above them and suddenly the truck hit them.

The force of it caused them to become air borne.

"CHARLIE!" Ally screamed.

"Just hold on!" Charlie replied. "You'll be fine if you hold on. Close your eyes!" Charlie shouted over the roar of the engines.

As they rose into the air they began to flip. Ally was held in place by her belt and the handle but Charlie had nothing to hold on to and she fell forwards then backwards. She landed on her neck with a crunch on the roof of the car. Her hands rushed to the back of her neck and she bit her lip to stop from crying out.

As they were still in the air falling forward now, Charlie slid from the back of the car to the front and hit the windshield. She hit it so hard that it cracked and shattered. Charlie wrapped her arms around her body feeling like she was on fire. The car finally landed with a thud, and it bounced causing Charlie's battered body to be jolted and her head to bounce off the floor forcefully, her forehead was now covered in blood. The force of the bounce caused her to bite her tongue and her mouth filled with blood and tricked down her cheek. She was sprawled face down in the front of the car across the dash board and it hurt to breathe. Ally hung upside down screaming Charlie's name.

Charlie raised her head and looked towards Ally. When she saw the cene behing her she really wished she hadn't. They had landed on a road and another car was heading straight for them. "You're kidding me right." she moaned to herself. Then she tried to reassure the terrified little girl. "Ally hold on again, just close your eyes and you'll be ok." Charlie told her just as the car impacted them.

Once again Charlie's body jerked and she slid across the roof into a side door. Her head hit the handle and she felt a crack and the flow of blood cover her head. Still they slid, sparks flying and the scream of metal surrounding them. There was almost a metal burning smell. It all seemed to be lasting forever and Charlie clenched her teeth as she fell across the steering wheel hard. The car slowed and she clutched her ribs feeling unconsciousness claiming her. She lay there again face down on the roof, eyes closed as the car finally ceased moving. This time she refused to look, if anything else was going to happen he didn't want to know. She just wanted to sleep so this pain would disappear.

There was a warm stickiness flowing down her cheeks and pooling under her chin and down her back but she was barely aware of it. She couldn't even bring herself to wipe this blood away, all she wanted was to sleep, just for five minutes. There was a movement in the back and Charlie remembered the reason she couldn't give up yet she had promised Rosie and Ally that she would take care of her. Her eyes opened and for a second Charlie was sure that the car was in motion again as it began to spin uncontrollably around her. Charlie's eyes seemed to roll back into her head and she was sure she was going to lose consciousness. She fought it and won... barely. Her eyes were hazy and she squinted to clear them. She could make out the form of Ally in the back, still upside down and still belted in.

"Ally!" she called weakly.

"Charlie?" her voice full of the evidence of tears. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." she groaned aware of how bad she might look. She raised herself a little and moved towards the gap between the front seats. She rolled onto her side and forced herself through it. She found Ally holding onto the seat and handle like she had told her.

"You held on, good girl." Charlie's voice low and slow.

Ally stared at her eyes wide. "Charlie what happened?"

Charlie used her sleeve to wipe her face, it came away coated in a thick sticky blood that flowed down her wrist. She felt her head start to swim and knew that she didn't have much strength left. "I'm ok, just bumped my head." she inched closer to the child and raised herself to sitting leaning against the back of the front seat to make sure she didn't fall back down.

"Ally I'm gonna release the catch for your seat. I'll hold up your shoulders but your feet will fall ok?"

Ally looked down at her and nodded.

"Hold on tight." she whispered and reached up to unhook the belt with her left hand whole her right held Ally in place. After some grunting and swearing the belt finally gave. She felt Ally's weight on her shoulders, this sent pain streaking through her ribs. She was having trouble breathing. She lowered Ally slowly and rested her head back against the seat taking slow deep breathes of oxygen. Ally knelt in front of her clutching her arm. Charlie opened one eye. "Your arm?" she rasped when she noticed it.

Ally shrugged her face tear stained. "It's ok."

Normally Charlie would have checked but her mind felt fuzzy and she was so tired.

"Charlie!" Ally said sharply and her eyes opened.

Charlie shook her head to try and dislodge the feeling. "Crawl through there…." she requested motioning to the gap in the seats.

Ally did as she was told and Charlie followed.

"Shouldn't we wait for the firemen to get us out?"

"Usually I would but fire is a possibility." Charlie said forgetting herself.

Ally's eyes widened in fear.

"We have to get out." Charlie said as she crawled along. Pain filled her chest as she moved too quickly and she rested her head against the roof of the car resisting the urge to cry and scream.

"Charlie?" Again Ally repeated her name. her voice terror filled.

"I'm….ok…." her breathing measured. She clenched her jaw as she moved towards the passenger seat. She tried the handle and although the release moved the door remained closed. "Fuck!" Charlie hissed pounded her hand off the floor.

"What we gonna do? Smash a window?" Ally asked.

Charlie could barely move and her chest felt weird and tight. She wasn't smashing anything in her current state and Ally didn't have the strength. "I can't…"

"We could open one." Ally suggested.

Charlie looked at her and smiled. "Good girl." she praised having not thought of that. She pulled her self up to sitting and rested back. She groped for the handle and when she found it she turned it. Pain filled every crevice of her body and she wanted to stop but she knew that this was their escape route so she carried on. It was half way up when the handle jammed unexpectedly. Charlie felt the jerk so much that she fell sideways physically unable to move anymore. She clutched her sides tears falling from her eyes silently. She pressed her face against the floor so Ally didn't see them.

Ally moved to her side and stroked her hair tenderly. "You'll be ok."

Charlie began drifting and knew she wasn't going to be awake much longer. "Go get Rosie."

Ally shook her head. "I can't leave you by yourself."

"You can fit through there I can't I'm too big." and she couldn't move. "You can help me. You can save me." she whispered. "You are the strong one here not me and I need you to be strong and leave me here."

Ally nodded eyes full of tears.

"If…." Charlie winced. "I might not see my mum for a while in hospital…." or worse. "Tell her from me that I'm happy she survived. Tell her to be Robbie's shield like she was mine." more tears fell. "Tell her I love her so much... please." she pleaded.

"You'll tell her too won't you?"

Charlie nodded. "As soon as I see her."

Ally then nodded and hugged her.

"Go quickly." Charlie murmured voice weak and distant. As Ally struggled through the gap Charlie rested her head against the roof and closed her eyes. Almost immediately she slipped away.

Ally was out and looked back at Charlie. She saw her eyes closed and unmoving. Ally screamed her aunts name and ran.

**A/N poor charlie...but does she survive? what is this going to do to alice and danny and mostly rosie and Ally? she jut will have to pull through! x**


	51. Stay With Me Until I Fall Asleep

Rosie dashed outside the café to what looked like absolute destruction. "Max, where's the car?" she whispered staring at the eighteen wheeler truck that was embedded in the side of a building. There were deep tyre indentations across the grassy area opposite the car park their car had just occupied. Steam hissed out of the truck loud and there was the scent of petrol high in the air. Max was staring to the left of the truck looking shell shocked. She walked in front of him.

"MAX!" Rosie demanded taking him by the shoulders and shaking him. "The car? The kids?"

He opened his mouth and swallowed tightly. "It flipped." he pointed to the left. "Over there" rubbed his mouth. "Then another car hit it….." he trailed off.

"O God." she breathed feeling sick, gave Max Gloria's hand. "Take Gloria inside. Tell the owners to call the police, fire brigade and to request two ambulances. It's a major accident!"

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I need to find the kids, one or even both of them could be seriously hurt!" she told him. "I can't just leave them there scared and alone." then she waited til Max entered the café and ran in the direction he indicated. Dust swirled all around her but she didn't allow it to slow her, every second could make the difference right now. Fire burned sporadically and burning rubber seemed to assault her nose but she didn't pay it any mind, she had to find…. She saw a little girl running in her direction and almost fainted in relief. "ALLY!" she shouted and she sprinted to her. Went to her knees and cupped the little girls face. "Are you ok sweetie. Oh thank god!" she said almost in tears. Seconds later she realised that Charlie was no where in sight.

Ally meanwhile moved her hand from her face with her good arm and tugged her. "You have to help Charlie she is really bad! She isn't moving and she'd bleeding from her head and mouth and her belly hurts coz she's holding it really tightly!"

Rosie picked Ally up and carried her towards the café moving as quickly as she could.

"NO! Charlie is that way!" she screamed and wiggled trying to get down.

"My main priority is getting you to safety."

"NO! She was hurt helping me and I don't want it to happen anymore!" Ally pleaded. "Please go to her Rosie please! She's hurt!"

"What do you mean?" she said jogging now.

"She wasn't even in the car Rosie, she had got out to stretch her legs. She got back in really quickly and pulled my belt but it wouldn't loosen. Then she made me grab on to stuff. She wasn't belted in and we were hit by something, twice." tears ran down Ally's cheeks. "Please you have to go to her Rosie!" the little girl buried her face in her new mums shoulder and sobbed. Rosie began to flat out run. She reached the café later than she liked and hurried in. she kissed Ally's head. "You stay with Uncle Max, he'll keep you safe." Saw Gloria was engrossed in a colouring book unaware of what went on outside.

Max seemed to have recovered somewhat. After seeing Rosie enter with Ally he went to Rosie and scooped the little girl up into his arms. "You're safe." he whispered holding her tightly. "I was so worried." he saw Rosie heading for the door the bell ringing indicating that she was leaving.

"Charlie?" he asked voice shaking his voice questioning whether she was alive.

At the sound of the name Ally burst into fresh sobs.

"I don't know." Rosie whispered. "Tell the medics where we are if I don't come back ok." and she closed the door. Max saw her running in the direction she had previously came from. He sat Ally down gently on a seat worried about what Rosie was going to find.

Rosie moved faster than she had ever ran in her life. She looked around where Ally was found and saw a upturned car in the distance and her stomach dropped. She was over there in seconds. "Charlie?" she called looking from side to side. When she was sure Charlie wasn't there she knelt down on her hands and knees and saw Charlie face down blood pooling below her head. The car window was half open and she realised that Charlie may have made her own injuries worse by helping Ally get out. Who knew Charlie was so strong? "Charlie!" she shouted louder but the girl didn't even twitch. "if you can hear me just find a way to let me know, you don't have to answer just move or something." she told her.

When she gained no response she sat took her jacket off and stretched inside the small gap laying it over Charlie's head as best she could.

"I'll be in there in two ticks." she promised then sat on the floor, braced her hands against the asphalt and kicked the window forcefully. It wobbled the first few attempts but finally exploded when Rosie gave it all she had. She avoided the glass as best she could, pulled the jacked off Charlie, which was covered in small fragments and laid it over other pieces so she could crawl inside. After she did she documented Charlie's injuries quickly. She had a wound on the back of her head which was bleeding profusely. A wound on her forehead which trickled and she seemed to be bleeding from the mouth. From what she could see her arms was also wrapped protectively around her stomach or had been before she passed out. She pressed her hand against her neck and found a pulse. It was a little erratic and slow but there.

"I'm so sorry this is going to hurt but I have no other way of getting you out." she told her unconscious sister. She was on her knees crouching put her hands under Charlie's arms and began to pull.

Charlie's eyes seemed to open immediately and she screamed in pain. "No….no!" she cried tears falling and trying to wrap herself in a tight ball. She was out of it having no real clue what was going on except it hurt immensely. "It hurts…." she cried trying to pull away but she was too weak. "Stop it…..mum make it stop!" she cried. "Please!"

Hearing Chalrie ask for Alice nealry made Rosie freeze but she carried on knowing it was safer this way. "I know it hurts sweetie but I need to get you away from this car right now." Rosie told her softly. "We're nearly there." Charlie looked up at her and those green eyes begged hernot to move anymore, Rosie continued until they were out. The whole time Charlie entreated her to stop, to end the pain. As soon as she could she lay Charlie flat bent down and picked her up tenderly. Carried her to an area where they were clear of any danger, close to where the paramedics would arrive so she could signal them, close to the café so she could see the girls but not close enough that they would see them. She sat down on some grass and Charlie's head was rested on her knee while the rest of her was lain on the grass.

Rosie's mind spun thinking of all the injuries an animal might receive that corresponded with humans. Charlie's breathing wasn't good at all. It was shallow, she was rasping and panting, her face was far too pale and there was a sheen of sweat over her face. She ran her hand over Charlie's face softly. An eye opened and Rosie felt hope soar.

"You... angry about….your car?" Charlie asked weakly, her eyes glazed.

Rosie couldn't tear her eyes away from her face. Charlie was grimacing but seemed to be alert- well ish. Rosie shook her head. "No I'm not."

"Bet you... think I…drove it….no chance of my…drivers licence…off mum now…." she coughed.

"There's still time." Rosie told he softly. "Took me ages to convince dad. He always said that if you hurt someone with a car you couldn't kiss it better like you could on a bike."

Charlie closed her eyes a second. "So this definitely…..won't be fixed….by kissing it….better…..damn! I thought….it was….gonna be….easy."

Oh God she's trying to be flippant, joking. No doubt to help Rosie. Rosie meanwhile had no idea what to say. She didn't usually tend to patients who answered when she spoke to them.

"Ok…so a hospital…stay is…required…hunky doctors….please."

Rosie exhaled a shaky breath. "If there isn't I'll send Max in huh?"

"Make it….his little brother….and we…have a deal….he's hot!"

"Charlie and Will huh?"

Charlie was quiet a few minutes.

"Charlie…." Rosie asked urgently.

"Last night...I took… tablets you know….just to sleep." Charlie admitted.

Rosie nodded. "I know, you fell asleep at the table."

"Wish I had…. that problem now." Charlie admitted. "I feel….sleepy….and it hurts….to breathe.

Rosie could tell the rasping was louder and she was beginning to stammer.

"I can't…..I….can't….breathe!" she inhaled sharply. "I'm…." Charlie couldn't finish the sentence as she coughed violently and her eyes rolled.

Rosie felt so powerless her little sister was in pain and she couldn't help. "The ambulance will be here soon ok?" and stroked her face, her hair was full of dried blood and Rosie could feel a warmth on her legs. She was trying not to think about what that was right now.

Charlie tried to smile cockily. "Who needs….the ambulance? You…hurt yourself?"

Rosie bit her lip wanting to tell Charlie to stop being brave, to stop thinking of her and just cry. "Its ok….I'm ok…." Rosie told her. "Ally is ok too…."

A shudder wracked Charlie's body and a tear finally seeped from her eye. "I'm not….ready….to die….yet."

Rosie's heart broke. "You're not going to. You're gonna be alright." and where was this flipping ambulance, didn't they know that someone was dying! It felt like hours when mere minutes had passed. Charlie's hand was encased in two of Rosie's her little face was smeared with blood, Rosie's mind was cataloguing everything at the moment. "You are going to be ok!" she told her sternly. "Your mum's ok isn't she? And she was far worse than you." not exactly true right now but Rosie was willing to lie if it helped.

"You're…a…terrible….liar...sis."

"You will be ok." Rosie promised.

"Karma….is….a….bitch." Charlie hissed then inhaled deeply and blinked tiredly. "Mum….lived….maybe….that's….why I….."

Rosie stroked her face as she looked for the ambulance. "Life isn't like that. Just coz your mum survived doesn't mean that you die to even it out."

Charlie's breathing had worsened so much she was panting audibly her chest moving rapidly. "Tell mum….she is …the best yeah?"

"Charlie no!" Rosie told her. She knew what she was doing.

Charlie carried on. "Tell her….I'm sorry….for…the hard….times."

"Tell her yourself!" Rosie said voice raised.

Charlie's breathing was more laboured and painful. "I love…you all…."

Rosie actually put her hands over her ears not believing what she was hearing.

"Ally….Gloria….Robbie…" Charlie found a smile. "Brilliant….." more tears fell from her eyes. "I'm…scared….Rosie."

Rosie nodded tears falling. "I am too…." she knew they were losing Charlie and the ambulance didn't even seem to be coming! "But I know you'll be ok." tears falling faster. "You're a fighter like your mum."

"My….head….feels…." her voice slower and distant.

"Charlie c'mon stay awake! Stay with me!" Rosie said urgently.

"Stay… with…. me." she repeated lowly eyes closed. "Stay….with….me…." slower and softer than before. "Until….I….fall….asleep…."

Rosie clenched her jaw.

Charlie sighed like she had no worries. "Just….until….I…fall…asleep."

"It's ok Charlie." Rosie told her keeping her voice steady. If this is what Charlie needed then Rosie would give it to her. "I'm here. I'm not leaving you." her heart was pounding so hard, Rosie's hand never leaving the pulse that slowly throbbed beneath her fingers. She finally heard the wail of an ambulance in the distance.

"Here's the ambulance Charlie. You hear that? you're gonna be ok!"

Without warning the pulse in Charlie's neck stuttered then disappeared.

"NO!" Rosie screamed. "Someone help!" and she began chest compressions.

**A/N awww Charlie breaks your heart doesn't she :/ i have to find a way of making her pull through (as still currently unwritten) i can't promise anything tho. My muse is tempermental, my stories write themselves and if i try to force them a certain way my muse disappears off the radar! so we'll see, gonna try and fin writing this 2moro so wish me luck! (ohg and wish Chalrie luck too she might need it!) x**


	52. Memories

**A/N sorry for the lack of update recently…..here is the beginning of the break down.**

**(X)**

Alice sat holding Robbie talking to him happily. Danny had went home and collected him while Alice had a quick nap to recharge her batteries. As well as Robbie, Liv, Dupe Caroline and Rowan had came. Alice had been surprised to see her brother standing there to say the least. Liv had cried at the sight of seeing Alice awake and alert. Caroline had wiped away a stray tear and Dupe had hugged her so hard Alice's arms started failing and she cried for help playfully. Rowan meanwhile just stood there looking at her fit to burst.

Now the family sat around her in a circle and she was playing a game with Robbie with his fingers and a make shift game of peek a boo with one hand. The whole while she did this the fact that she hadn't seen the most important person played on the edge of her mind. Danny had told her that although Charlie had been a soldier throughout her illness it had begun to take its toll on her emotionally and she had went to Jo'burg with Rosie until the end. Alice physically ached with the need to see her, to reassure her daughter that she was safe and well that nothing would tear her away, ever. She looked back at her son and smoothed a hand over his dark hair. He was babbling away and lunged for a handful of his mums hair. Danny swooped down and caught his hand just as he was about to pull hard.

"Ah ah Robert." Danny said gently. "We don't pull hair."

Robbie seemed to glare at his father and released his mothers hair.

Alice giggled.

Danny gave her a quizzical look. "What's so funny?"

"See the look he gave you? Look at that stubborn chin Danny, I mean c'mon could he look any more like you? God help me there's two Trevanion men now! What have I done?" she blew a raspberry on Robbie's cheek and he leaned away laughing.

It warmed Danny's heart to see his son laughing with his mother. "Well seeing as he's my son I should think he'd look at least a little like me."

"Rosie doesn't." she countered. "She is Miranda all over."

"Ah but she has my personality, should I be worried?" he mused out loud.

Alice seemed to jerk as a memory overcame her.

'_What about Robbie?" Danny asked coldly._

'_Are you doubting whether or not….." she heard herself say….the memories became blurry then cleared again._

"_Should I?"_

Alice blinked and the memory was gone. She frowned looking at her son. Why had Danny looked so scared in that memory and what did he want to know about their son? She looked up at Danny. "What were you doubting?" Alice asked looking at him.

"What?"

"We were in a hut and you said what about Robbie and I asked if you were doubting something and you asked if you should." she was frowning at him blues eyes cloudy the memory replaying.

"Um…If that is a memery I um...I don't remember saying that…." he breathed.

"Oh ok, its just for a minute in the little memory it sounded like you were asking me if Robbie was your son." she smiled at him relieved.

Rowans eyes zeroed on Danny's and his fists clenched.

"I know what am I thinking right?" she laughed a little.

Danny tried to smile but looked more like a grimace.

"Oh and by the way I am still not happy at you Mister Trevanion, I was looking forward to my Alice special." back to normal.

"I brought you a Nomsa special though." Dupe spoke up.

"Which I love you for." and she blew Dupe a loud kiss. The breakfast buttie had been heaven and to be fair she could have ate three. It was all gone two seconds after they walked in, then the nurses brought her a salad and she was so hungry she ate that too.

There was a soft knock on the door and a nurse walked in.

"Hello, came to take more blood?" Alice asked lifting an arm. "If so take the left one. My right feels lighter with how much they've taken!"

Liv made a face, Dupe guffawed loudly. "I've missed you Alice."

"Um no Mrs Trevanion we actually need to speak to your husband right now."

Alice nodded. Danny looked at the nurse.

"In private." she added.

Danny nodded and walked from the room following the nurse. Alice was frowning, something felt off. The nurse was probably telling him something about her and didn't want to say with everyone there. Or maybe they knew about the breakfast buttie and he was getting a telling off. She smiled at the thought of a stout, matronly type woman chastising Danny. A blond beautiful nurse walked by and she froze or maybe Danny wanted one of the nurses phone numbers. She dismissed the thought immediately, Danny wasn't that type of guy. "Anyone think I should be worried?" she joked.

Everyone except Rowan smiled.

"Maybe you should be sis." he told her seriously. "Especially because of Michael…."

Alice frowned and looked at her brother. "Michael? Michael who?" She'd knew a Michael in the past but he was in Glasgow and they hadn't seen each other in years.

"Shut up Rowan!" Dupe growled.

"Rowan?" she questioned.

Dupe sent Rowan a look of warning. Liv and Caroline were sharing concerned glances.

Alice's arm tightened around Robbie as something fluttered in her stomach. A memory threatening to uncover on the edge of her subconscious. She saw a image in her mind of herself sat on a toilet crying in the bathroom while loud footsteps retreated. She blinked and the memory dissipated. She felt sick and her eyes were drawn to her left hand and the ring that should be there….it was notably absent... where was her ring?! She raised her hand and looked at it breathing heavily though she had no idea why, I mean there was a logical reason why her wedding ring was gone right?

"Where's my wedding ring?" she asked neutrally.

She saw all the family sharing a look.

"Where is it?" she asked louder. A sharp pain filled the whole of her head and she was blinded by a white light. "Robbie!" she squeaked closing her eyes tightly still holding her child resisting the urge to clutch her head until he was safely in the arms of someone else.

Liv shot up and wrapped her hands around his small body and lifted him. As soon as Robbie was safe Alice bent double and wrapped her arms around her head. Her head felt like it was about to split in half, her hands the only thing holding it together.

"Alice?" Dupe gasped.

She was inhaling slow measured breaths.

"Look at what you have done." he shouted at Rowan. "Caroline take Liv and the baby home." he requested.

The woman and baby departed and Rowan turned on Dupe. "She deserved to know!" Rowan spat. "He was all too ready to play happy families when just over a week ago he asked for a divorce!"

Alice heard that word and all the strength left her arms and they dropped to the bed. She started to hyperventilate. "Divorce? What! When? WHY!"

'_I want a divorce.' _echoed in her mind and her eyes rolled back into her head.

"Alice calm down." Dupe soothed patting her arm. "Danny will explain it all when he returns!" he wanted to tear Rowan to pieces for what he had caused.

(X)

Danny followed the nurse out of Alice's room and down the hall.

"Look if this is about Alice's breakfast…." he started.

"It isn't." and she carried on walking.

Her halted. "What then?"

"Can you come with me Mr Trevanion?"

He was confused. "Why?"

"Please follow me. It is important."

He began to follow absently worried that he was going to see a specialist about Alice and they were going to say they were wrong and he was going to lose her. He was led to a relatives room.

"I don't understand." he told her patience disappearing.

"Your daughter is in there." she finally confided.

"Ok." still unconcerned. He walked in and froze. Rosie sat in a sofa her arms folded around her head sobbing like he had never seen her cry before. He closed the door and went to her.

"Rosie?" he asked kneeling down in front of her. His hand on the top of her head.

Rosie raised her head the whites of her eyes all red and bloodshot. She opened her mouth but no sound escaped.

"Is it one of the girls or Max?" he asked pulling her close and rubbing her back. "Where's Charlotte?"

A louder sob burst from her at the mention of the name and Danny felt his chest tighten and fill with dread. He looked down at her face, which was buried in his shoulder. It was quickly being soaked with tears.

"Rosie where is Charlotte?" he enunciated clearly leaving no room for misunderstanding.

"She's in the….the….resuscitation room. Or she was….I was brought here." her voice rough and weak from her tears.

He was on his feet in seconds. "What? Why is she…." he trailed off not sure if he wanted to know.

Rosie chest was shuddering as more tears flooded. "I don't know what happened. Charlie and Ally were in the car and Max and I took Ally to the toilet in a café and minutes later….it came from nowhere….it just…."

"Rosie what?" he asked

She wiped the wetness away from her eyes with the back of her hand. "An eighteen wheeler truck crashed into a building. Max said it hit the car first it literally flew through the air onto another room where a different car hit it again." she swallowed painfully. "When I found her she was lain in an upturned smashed vehicle and there was blood everywhere…." she closed her eyes her hand on her chest sure she was about to have a heart attack it hurt so much.

He inhaled sharply feeling his heart stop in his chest. "Why is she in the resuscitation room though?"

"I got her out and we talked….when the ambulance got there she had stopped breathing. They said she had tension pneumothorax and put a needle in her chest to allow her lungs to inflate but her output was weak." Rosie couldn't seem to chase that image from her mind, he little sister lain on her knee so lifeless. The way she had said her goodbyes to the people she needed to.

Her dad meanwhile walked to the seat beside her and dropped into it wearily.

"Alice?" she asked and sniffed.

"She's getting stronger everyday." he whispered.

"What are you going to say to her…..what if…." her head dropped knowing how badly Alice was going to take this.

He didn't know. What if Charlie went into a coma and never woke up? What if she died? He rested his face in the pale of his left hand and fisted it tightly. Deep down he knew that the only option he had was to tell Alice. "I need to see Charlie before I tell Alice. I need to be able to tell my wife something." he rubbed his forehead forcefully. "It won't stop her storming in there trying to get to her." he added.

Rosie nodded.

"How long ago did this happen?"

"Two hours ago, maybe three."

He felt so old right now, aged by everything that they all had to endure recently. He just hoped that Charlie pulled through.

"Me too." Rosie agreed reading his thoughts.

"You said Ally was in the car, is she ok?"

Rosie nodded again. "Ally said that Charlie climbed back in the car to save her." tears fell again. "She could have got herself to safety dad but she got herself seriously hurt for a kid she didn't even know two weeks ago."

"Did you expect anything less from our Charlie?" he asked her softly.

"I guess not." she murmured. "But….dad Ally was belted in. Charlie made sure she held on. She could have used that time to belt herself in." Rosie rubbed her eyes. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

He stood up and kissed the top of her head. "I'm going to see Charlie.

**Meanwhile.**

Alice's headache had subsided. Rowan and dupe sat between her and the door. Alice was in no mood to be messed with right now.

"Where is Danny?" she asked for the fifth time her voice getting colder with every moment she was having to wait. She wanted answers and she wanted them now! Or even twenty minutes ago!

"We don't know." Dupe said. "I spoke to a nurse and she went to look for him."

She clenched her jaw. "Divorce!" she seethed. "Wonder if he would have ever told me this little tidbit of info or if he'd pretend everything was fine. He's good at that. Pretending!"

"Alice please calm down." Rowan advised.

"Calm? Oh I'm way passed calm!" she told him her face deadly. "Right now I don't think I'll ever be calm again!" she remembered everything. London, the divorce, Michael, the aftermath. Her heart ached..."If he just told me…." she whispered.

"Alice you nearly died!" Dupe told her. "Could you have told him just a day after waking up that you were getting a divorce. As far as you were concerned you were both happy. He couldn't do that to you."

"I'm sick of him papering over the cracks instead of filling them Dupe! He doesn't talk to me! He's so…..secretive all the time!"

"Well when he gets here we will leave the two of you alone to talk ok?" Dupe nodded. "And I'm sure he will have an explanation for all of your questions." or at least he hoped Danny did because Alice wasn't in the mood to listen to anything less.

(X)

Danny stood at the door on the ward in ICU. Charlie was in there. The doctor had came to speak to him before he went in Charlie had cracked a rib which had punctured one of her lungs. It hadn't been able to inflate fully and her chest cavity had filled with air eventually causing the lung to collapse. This had then caused Hypoxemia which had ultimately caused her to stop breathing, this he only knew because of his knowledge as a vet. After piercing her chest with a needle allowing the air to escape the chest cavity the lung had started to re-inflate. What really had them worried was the crack on the back of her head. She had a fractured skull, concussion and they feared worse. Not that the doctor said that either, he didn't have to Danny heard it all the same. What doctors didn't say said far more than what they did!

He walked into her room impulsively knowing that no amount of preparing himself would help. The door closed behind him but he didn't hear it. His vision was rooted to the small, fragile girl in the bed. Small….fragile….not words he would usually associate with Charlie. More like loud, boisterous, vibrant. She was all bandaged and pale. This wasn't his daughter, this was a stranger lying in this bed... and even though he tried to convince himself of that fact it was no doubt Charlie who lay there. He could see Alice in the child, around the eyes and the shape of her face. When that cleared in his head he felt a strange calm beginning to descend over him. Yes he was scared but he knew that she was going to be alright. Her mother had found a way and somehow Charlie would too. So he took her hand gently and knelt down beside her.

"I heard what you did for Ally sweetie. It was beyond amazing!" he touched her cheek gently. "But when I think about it, it just makes sense that you would do something like that. that's who you are, you never could stand anyone hurt." he looked at her face in profile. "I know you're strong, and brave and almost fearless. Almost." he leaned closer to her ear. "I know what you're scared of and I know the place you are right now is built on those fears." he frowned. "I know it might be dark where you are and you might feel lost and alone. Like your millions of miles away from home. Don't worry coz I know that you will find your way home. When you do all those fears will disappear. You just have to be strong for a little bit. If you are then I promise nothing will ever hurt you again. Everything you are looking for is right here at home ok so open up those pretty green eyes of yours." he stood up and kissed her head. "I'm gonna go see your mum then I'll be right back here waiting for you to wake." he walked from the room and headed for Alice's knowing that this was going to break her heart.

**A/N awww danny's words were so sweet...alice certainly wont think so though to say she ewas angry was an understatement...she remembers it all! Will charlie pull through? Will danice ever make up?**


	53. Talks and Truths

Alice was sat in her room in hospital rapidly losing patience. Danny had left over and hour ago and had yet to return. She had BIG questions for him and was losing energy too. She sat back in bed restraining a yawn. She crossed her arms looking out of the window. Rowan and Dupe sat by her side quietly not saying a word to her or each other until

"Alice…" Dupe started.

She turned her head. "If you and Rowan want to go I might have a little sleep until Danny gets back." she told them simply leaving no room for argument.

Dupe nodded and Rowan rose from his chair. Rowan hated seeing Alice like this and hated even more that he had caused it. But to be fair Danny might never have told her what he did and she did deserve to know.

"Don't go mad at Danny Alice, he was beside himself at the thought of losing you. You didn't see him."

"That's the thing though Dupe, he didn't lose me, he threw me away!" she practically growled. "He should have told me Dupe!"

"When?" he interrupted. "You have only been awake a day or so. Should he have done it as soon as you opened your eyes?"

"No, but there was no excuse for him not telling me now."

Dupe exhaled.

"Thing is the way I was feeling I know we could have worked past it. How I feel hasn't changed, I still love him. BUt withholding information from me isn't fair!"

The man in question walked into the room. Her eyes zoomed to his. She was too angry to recognise the pained drawn expression on his face. Instead she gave him a sarcastic smile. "Well hello honey." an edge to the final word.

Danny looked at her confused.

"Dupe Rowan leave me and my husband alone." she requested, an edge to the word husband too.

Danny knew suddenly and squeezed the bridge of his nose, Dupe looked between them wearily then walked towards Danny and put his hand on his arm. Rowan meanwhile had left.

"Go Dupe." Danny said softly. "You and Rowan wait for me in the relatives room."

"Why?"

"It's important, so please." his voice tired.

Dupe nodded and he left, murmuring to Rowan as he did. Danny walked to the door and closed it. Stood looking at it for a moment.

"When were you going to tell me about the divorce?"

"Alice…." he breathed and turned to face her. "Not now."

"When Danny? I deserve to know. Was it next week? Or next year? Or when Robbie graduates from University."

He clenched his jaw. "I can do without your sarcasm right now!" he fumed.

"Well I don't care! This is so typically you Danny!" her heart rate increasing with the force of her anger. "Ignoring things, withholding things, not talking to me!"

"Alice I'm not, when the time is right I will answer all the things you want to know but there are more important things to worry about right now?"

"Like what? What can be more important than you lying to me? What is more important then the end of our marriage coz I can only think of one!"

He looked at her and she finally saw how his eyes were dark and full of hurt. "Danny?"

He closed his eyes and pressed his hand to them.

"You're just….." she began.

He exhaled a heavy breath. "It's Charlie."

That stopped her mid flow. "What about Charlie?"

He dropped his hand. "There has been an accident."

She sat up straighter. "What kind of accident?" came out a whisper.

He stood there trying to find a way to word this as gentle as possible.

"Is it a 'she's hurt but it awake and be fine kind of accident?" she asked hopefully.

He shook his head slowly.

Her hand rushed to her mouth. "What happened?"

Danny's head felt like it was in a vice, it was tight and painful.

"Just tell me!" she pleaded eyes shining.

"She was in a car when it was hit from behind by a truck, it was then hit again by another car. Charlie wasn't belted in."

Alice put both her hand son her head. "How bad is she Danny?" her voice shuddering. "Is she even alive?" she closed her eyes and inhaled sharply.

"She's alive in ICU unconscious, she was hurt badly."

Alice started pulling at the wires and tubes she was connected to. Monitors started beeping frantically as they were disconnected.

He stood there looking at her. "Is there any point in me trying to stop you?"

She levelled him with a look.

"Thought not." he muttered. He walked to her. "Let me help you then. I'll get a doctor and then…."

"You stay away from me! Especially you!" she spat.

Doctors and nurses heard the alarms and began running in. Alice had already stood up and was swaying unsteadily. She bent down and was rummaging in a bag Caroline had brought her. She quickly found what she was looking for, pyjamas to change into... The woman could have brought her clothes but she didn't so Alice had to use what she had.

"Mrs Trevanion what are you doing you need to be resting!" the doctor said heatedly.

"My daughter is in hospital and she needs me."

"I'm sure she is just fine, you meanwhile were not fine a few days ago, I need you to get back into bed." he told her simply.

"My little girl is in ICU and you lot expect me to lie here? There is no way that is happening so let me go or I'll discharge myself. Which is it?"

Danny glared at her not quite believing what he was hearing then left.

The doctor was trying to convince her. "You are still ill."

"Am I contagious?" Alice asked.

"No." he replied grudgingly.

"Well I'm going. Charlie needs me."

"NO she needs the doctors and so do you. YOU need to learn to listen."

"I'll come back but right now I need to see my little girl." she told him beseechingly. "Are you a father?" she asked before he could comment.

"No." he admitted.

"Then you don't understand. I'm past arguing. Get me the forms I'm discharging myself."

"You're being very foolish."

"No I'm being a mother and my daughter needs me."

Realising there was no swaying her he said. "You'll have to wait a while until we can fill a prescription of antibiotics. I seriously hope you aren't back in here in a week or two with a relapse as next time you might not be so lucky! You're daughter isn't the only one who need medical assistance and ignoring it is just….its not clever!"

"I know but my daughter might die. I need to see her."

The doctor left grumbling but acquiesced.

* * *

><p>Danny sat by Charlie's side. Before coming here he had told Dupe and Rowan about Charlie. Dupe the gruffest man he knew had tears in his eyes. Rowans fist had pounded a wall. They had both popped in briefly to see her but had then returned home. Rowan stating that he was returning to the UK. All this was too much for him, first his sister and now his niece. Danny knew the real reason not believing that crap! He was going to get Michael and bring him here. Michael wasn't her dad, he was and he wasn't getting near her. Danny was going to make sure of it!….then again if Alice decided that she wanted Michael there and not him then what could Danny do?<p>

The door behind him opened and he knew that Alice had walked in. He didn't even have to turn around to know. She didn't say a word, just shuffled in and sat down opposite him.

"Oh Charlie." she whispered reaching across to touch her face gently. "Look at you baby." her face all pale and bruised. She had stitches in her forehead, evidence of her other head injury plastered to her neck. "Can you hear me sweetie?" her voice thick with emotion. "Charlie…."

Danny saw her eyes become an even brighter blue as they were flooded with tears. "Alice…." he whispered wanting to take away her pain. He knew that look and it always tore at his insides. He'd so anything to spare her this. Anything.

"Do you know what happened?" she asked as tears fell.

"Rosie told me some of it."

"What?" her eyes never leaving her child.

Danny gave her an abridged version. "A eighteen wheeler truck hit the car Charlie and Ally were sitting it. It pushed them onto another road where another car hit it."

Alice frowned. "Why wasn't she wearing her belt? why didn't Rosie drive away?"

"Gloria….do you remember her?"

Alice nodded.

"Max and Rosie took her to a café. Charlie and Ally stayed behind. They were in the car." Danny exhaled. "Charlie had got out not long before the truck appeared. She climbed back in to help Ally."

"But they didn't even know each other!"

"All the girls got closer because of what happened to you. They had had a common experience. Rosie and Liv were with Charlie often and Charlie became close with Ally and thanks to Charlie Ally wasn't badly hurt."

Alice stared at he little girl not replying to Danny. Charlie wasn't so little really. Fourteen. Much too young to be sacrificing herself for someone else. She shouldn't have got back into the car sprang unbidden into her mind. Ally. She told herself. Charlie did it for Ally. Her daughter was a better person than her, would she have been strong enough to get back into a car knowing that she was going to be seriously hurt, possibly killed?

"She has been brilliant through everything though." he told her looking out of a window. "So strong, holding it together, holding us together in some ways. Seeing her like this…." he quieted a moment. "She's strong enough to get through this Alice I know she is."

Alice looked at Danny, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that fact more than anyone else. She noticed how tired his face looked. He'd had to deal with so much recently, obviously not sleeping much and now this was thrown on top of already overburdened shoulders. It was when she saw him swipe away a stray tear that she finally went to him. After kneeling in front of him she pulled him close, closed her eyes as her head rested on his shoulder. Danny held her close.

"This is such a mess." he whispered. "When did home become this?"

She had no idea and squeezed him tighter. Although she had came to comfort him she found an enormous amount of safety and consolation in his arms. They remained there for such a long time, neither wanting to release the other until a small knock at the door interrupted them.

Rosie opened the door. Alice looked over Danny's shoulder and saw her stood there looking small. Her clothes were splattered with blood and her eyes looked haunted.

Alice pulled back. "Danny.…"

"No, I have someone who wants to see you Alice, but she can't go in there." Rosie said.

"Ally." Danny told Alice.

Alice nodded and stood up.

Danny touched her cheek gently as she rose. He stood and handed her his jacket. She shrugged it on. "Thanks."

"No problem."

After giving him a small smile for his thoughtfulness she walked outside. Alice was expecting to see the little girl.

"Where is she?" Alice asked.

"She is sat at a café with Max and Gloria. I knew that if I brought her anywhere near Charlie's room she'd go in and she doesn't need that, she feels bad enough as it is. She thinks she'd killed her and the guilt is eating her alive."

Alice nodded and they began to walk.

"It's good to see you awake." Rosie told her.

"Well I have to say the alternative wasn't that good." Alice ponderedher next words. "Charlie in the car…did she….."

"I spoke to her." Rosie nodded. "God Alice, she's amazing. If that was me at her age I would have been freaking out. She was joking Alice…." she whispered chest aching.

Alice stopped walking and took Rosie into a stairwell.

Rosie carried on eyes shimmering. "She said that you were the best and that's she's sorry for all the stuff she did wrong." Rosie closed her eyes a moment and rubbed them. "She said she loves us all…." and Rosie broke down.

Alice pulled her close feeling hot tears on her shoulder.

"I held her Alice and she stopped breathing." Rosie sobbed. "She asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep. She cried for you. I can't forget that Alice. I can hear it in my head!"

Alice felt her own tears begin to fall at the strength that both Rosie and Charlie had shown recently. It couldn't have been easy for the young woman to see her little sister in such a way but just being there would have been an enormous comfort to Charlie and Alice knew that was something she couldn't ever repay. Charlie wasn't alone. How on earth did she get so blessed to have them both in her life?

Rosie continued to cry then in a second stopped and pulled herself together. "I'm sorry Alice."

Alice shook her head wiping her own tears away. "It's been a tough time for us all, you're entitled to a few moments of release."

Rosie walked out of the stairwell in the direction of the café. Alice followed, silence fell and lingered.

"What do I say to Ally if Charlie dies…." Rosie looked then realised who she was talking to. "God Alice I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Alice murmured. "Carry on."

"You sure?"

Alice nodded.

"Charlie was a hero to Ally you know, Ally worshipped her. Always talking about Charlie says this, or Charlie does that. She was there for Ally, listened to her, talked like an equal and not like a kid. She was patronising which I think in some ways I was trying to be too much. What she needed from me was boundaries and what she needed from Charlie was friendship and Charlie gave her that and more."

Alice's jaw had dropped. "Wow." she whispered. That was HER Charlie, when did her little girl grow up? And why hadn't anyone told her?

"She grew up overnight Alice." Rosie told her simply. "She was so mature, more so than some of us adults."

As they continued Alice got the feeling like she barely knew her daughter. Everyone was talking about this strong, mature, self sufficient young woman when in her mind she could only see the little girl who used to run to her when she fell down and grazed her knees. It wasn't that she didn't believe her daughter could be all that and more but she didn't recognise her Charlie in their words. She sounded different….she sounded like her nana….Alice's mum. They arrived at glass double doors.

"Wait here will you? I'll wave you over after I told Ally that you're here."

Alice nodded and Rosie walked through the doors towards her family. Alice stood at a discreet distance watching as Rosie bent down and talked to the little girl. For all her fear at the beginning Rosie was obviously a natural. Alice's eyes then found Ally. She had a cast on her left arm that was bright pink and a nasty scratch down her cheek. Rosie looked back and waved. Alice opened the door and walked inside. Ally watched her with wide eyes then looked away Alice was aware of the startled looks she was receiving from the patrons in the café due to her bizarre clothes but she ignored them and went to Ally.

"Hi." Max said softly.

"Hey." Alice replied then knelt down in front of Ally. "Hello." smiled warmly at her.

"I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry!" Ally blurted not looking at her.

"Hey, there's no need to be sorry. You didn't do anything at all." Alice kept her voice even and soft. "Rosie said you wanted to see me."

Ally nodded then finally looked at her. "Charlie asked me to tell you something."

"Ok." and Alice had to remind herself not to cry. She didn't want to upset Ally more.

Ally exhaled and her face was suddenly serious. "Charlie said to tell you that is happy that you survived and to be Robbie's shield. And that she loves you so much."

Alice smiled even though it hurt. "Thank you for telling me. She gave the message to the right person. Auntie Rosie is always forgetting to give me messages. Uncle Max too." she lowered her voice. "Then I get phone calls from people and have no idea what they are talking about then Auntie Rosie will walk in, see me on the phone and run and hide."

"I did that once!" Rosie muttered.

Ally meanwhile giggled, it died suddenly as she looked at Alice intently. "She looks like you." reached up and touched Alice's cheeks. "Her face and eyes, not the colour but something else." tears filled Ally's eyes. "Is she going to be ok like you were?"

Alice wanted so much to tell the little girl that Charlie was going to be fine but knew better than to make promises that she couldn't follow through on. She motioned Ally closer. "Charlie is strong isn't she?"

Ally nodded. "She is stronger than anyone. In the car she was really hurt and there was blood everywhere and she still managed to get me out."

Rosie saw a flash of pain on Alice's face for a split second before she hid it.

Alice swallowed painfully. "So if anyone can pull through this she can." then Alice patted her shoulder feeling tiredness press down on her.

"Tell her when I see her that I love her lots please." Ally requested.

"Definitely... When she was your age she begged me for a little sister you know."

"Charlie told me."

"I bet she'd proud of you." Alice told her. "Actually I know she will be."

Ally nodded. "I'm proud of her too, I don't want her to go away."

Alice saw Rosie move to wards Ally to hold her close but Alice stopped her hugged Ally. "I'll tell her you said hello and you want her to wake up. That you love her too." she added.

Ally sniffed and nodded. "Thank you."

Alice shook her head. "No, thank you for telling me her message. It was important. I'm gonna leave and get back to her now ok?"

"Ok." Ally whispered then looked at her confused. "What do I call you?"

Alice looked at Rosie who shrugged leaving the decision up to her. Alice thought for a second. "How about you two call me Auntie Alice?"

Ally nodded quickly.

"I'll see you soon and I'm sure Charlie will too." Alice then got up to leave. She waved before leaving the café. As soon as she left and rounded a corner she stopped and covered her face with her hands. That had been so hard, hearing a child talk about her daughter like that. God her daughter had saved that child! She closed her eyes feeling pain shower over her.

Footsteps approached. "Thank you." Alice recognised the voice as Rosie.

Alice lowered her hands and forced her eyes to open. Rosie saw Alice's face was pale and drawn, all her composure from before gone.

"For what?" Alice asked.

"Ally thought you would blame her. She was worried. Thank you for making a big deal of the message."

"It was a big deal Rosie." Alice interrupted. "She went through the trauma of the car, seeing someone badly hurt and she still managed to find me and tell me the message, even with the fear of blame hanging over her. She has no idea how special that makes her!"

Rosie nodded. "Thank you for asking her to call you her Auntie. She is over the moon about that. The only people they had was me and Max and now they are slowing becoming part of my family. Settling."

"My daughter is her big sister. Charlie WILL get better and we'll be seeing a lot of them."

"I'm sorry too….for the stuff…"

Alice shook her head. "I've drew a line under that. I just want to move on. I'm through dwelling on the past, I just want a new future."

"I'll get the girls home then bring you in a change of clothes ok?"

Alice nodded and patted her arm. "Thanks. See you later."

"See you Alice."

Alice now headed back to Charlotte. When she arrived she found Danny sat closer to Charlotte his head lolling to the side. She closed the door behind her quietly and took her seat opposite Danny. The room was quiet, his soft breathing the only sound. She found herself studying him as he slept. In the past she used to note how much younger he looked asleep, completely unguarded and relaxed. Now he looked no different, his laugh lines were less defined. His hair greyer at the temples then she remembered and his forehead had more frown lines, then again he hadn't exactly had much to smile about recently. He must have sensed her thoughts as he moved his head to the left and his arm crossed the other.

"Danny?" she asked softly.

He was quiet and she was worried her plan wasn't going to work.

"Mmm hmm." he replied still asleep.

She frowned debating whether or not to follow through on her plan it was really unfair….but a way to get a completely truthful answer. Danny half asleep was like Danny on truth serum….and he never remembered which was why she never did it. It only worked if he was severely sleep deprived in a deep slumber. She had to know though, mind made up she pressed on.

"Why'd you ask for the divorce?"

"Didn't know what else to do." he answered sleepily. "It was all going too far and it came out."

"Ok" she whispered. "You threatened to take the kids away. Would you? Or even try to?"

"Never." he breathed. "They need you more than me."

"Vanessa!" she told him heatedly. "You asked for the divorce after seeing her. Did you think even for a second that you should have chosen her instead of me?" she was on the edge of her seat.

"No. No one compares to you. She doesn't come close to your shadow. From the first time I set eyes on you…."

She leaned back in her chair contemplating what she wanted to ask next. "Do you want to divorce?" her voice low and full of emotion.

"I don't want to argue anymore." a breath rushed from him obviously unsettling him. "I want you to love me again."

Alice closed her eyes. She had one more question, probably the most important of them all. "Danny do you still love…." out of the corner of her eyes she saw Charlie move slightly and the rest of the question died on her lips. Alice turned her head and Charlie moved again, more this time.

"Danny!" Alice said loudly.

He sat bolt upright rubbing his eyes. "W.. what…" he asked bleary eyed they widened when saw Charlie's eyes open a crack.

Alice leant over smoothing a hand over her forehead. "Hello angel."

Charlies eyes rolled, closed then opened again. "Oh God I died didn't I?" she groaned tiredly.

"No sweetie."

Charlie tried and failed to roll her eyes. "Was a joke mum." she rested her head against her mums hand. "I missed you."

Alice smiled. "I know."

"You ok? For real?"

Alice nodded.

"Ally?" Charlie whispered.

"She's good, hurt her arm. She gave me your message."

"It's hazy…I hit my head."

"What else is new? You were always falling over stuff hitting your head when you were little. Full of bumps and bruises."

Charlie's eyes flicked to Danny. "Hello dad." finally calling him the name he deserved.

"Hello sweetie. It's good to see your eyes open."

She opened and closed her hand and he took her message and held it. "I heard what you said."

Alice frowned.

"You were right. It was dark and I was scared and far from home but I heard your voice and it led me here. Back to you. I wasn't scared or lost anymore." it was evident in her voice her energy was flagging.

He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "Happy to help." tears of happiness shining in his eyes.

"You don't mind do you?" Charlie yawned. "That I called you dad."

"Of course not.. it's the best thing you could call me. Its about time too." he smiled.

She blinked tiredly. "I have a few alternatives." she grinned then closed her eyes.

Alice went to call a nurse.

"Don't eve try it girlie." and he kissed her head gently.

**A/N charlie is ok, Alice found out some truths from Danny hmmmmm what next? could there be a happy ending in sight? You may or may not find out next chapter. (because i REALLY need this finshed there is a time jump of about 2 weeks in the next chapter BUT it isn't finshed yet so dnt get your hopes up. still a little way to go (and write but that is my problem)  
>this should have been up last night but i had to unexpectedly go pick up my sis in law frim a train station and this random bloke who was high started trying to chat me up ect and all hell broke loose! pure madness!<strong>


	54. You Don't Laugh Anymore

**3 Weeks Later**

Alice sat alone in Fatani's bar a drink in front of her, lights and music surrounded her as a party was in full swing. This was a joint homecoming and engagement party. Well a re-engagement party to be exact. The home coming was for her and Charlie and the engagement was Max and Rosie. Alice sensed that soon there would be another party on the horizon. While walking through the house earlier she had heard them talking and all of the meetings with the social worker had went well. The four of them were settling into their new home in Jo'burg, the girls enrolled in schools having regular contact with Max's parents who had quickly became surrogate grandparents and both Ally and Gloria were talking to a counsellor about their grief. Both Max and Rosie would be getting full custody of the girls soon officially and Alice was thrilled for them. Everything was starting to go right for them and Alice wished them all the happiness in the world, if anyone deserved it it was those two after all they had been through. Unlike before when Alice looked at Rosie she noticed that her eyes sparkled in a way they hadn't for a long time, and that was Max. It was obvious that although Rosie had tried to pretend a part of her had always loved him.

They kept on giggling about something to each other too. It was all new it seemed, shiny. Like all the rust that had built up over the break-up was gone and they were polished. She sipped her drink and rubbed her eyes. It had been such a bad idea coming here tonight, she hadn't wanted to and tried to worm out of it but Rosie had insisted she come. Alice claimed she was tired and so on then Rosie pleaded with her to come, that didn't work she tried to flat out blackmail her into it. When that too failed to get the desired results she brought in the big guns…Charlie. Recently Alice had problems saying no to her girl. Aftyer talking to Rosie Charlie came her eyes all wide her voice small,

"Mum, why aren't you coming tonight. Please you have to. What if I need you?"

And just like that Alice agreed, then her daughter had walked down the hallway and blatantly high fived Rosie. In reply Rosie put her arm around Charlie's shoulders and they walked out of the back door together! Talk about double teaming her!

While her gaze scanned the room she spotted Dupe looking at her, he waved and she gave him a small signal back. Everyone acted differently around her since the Anthrax experience, as she christened it. Rowan called her twice a day to make sure she was still alive and God help her is she ignored him. She had tried to once and he had phoned half of Africa trying to find her, she wasn't doing that again in a hurry her ears were still ringing from the roasting he gave her. She sensed there was another reason he was calling but she didn't know what. He seemed to be stilted on the phone like trying not to tell her something.

Anyway other ways it was different was that the surgery was out of bounds on the kids and Danny's orders, if Dupe thought she was even looking at a scalpel he had a hissy fit. She was a vet for goodness sake! Basically she was allowed to sit in the house and breathe, everything else was done for her and it was driving her crazy.

And Danny….well he was being Danny. He didn't want to talk about the divorce or anything else. Anytime she brought it up there was an emergency in the surgery or a child suddenly needed his attention or some other little minor thing, that too wasn't helping her crazy levels!

Regarding the Anthrax she actually still didn't remember much about what happened. She remembered operating on the lion cub and being tired all the time. Then there was flashes of making up with Danny. The Michael incident was clear in her mind though, the one she wished she could erase! Nothing would make her forget that. That was the time she knew that she and Danny were over forever, he would never get over what happened and she couldn't live like that. Although he obviously wanted to try she didn't want to hurt him anymore, or herself. It was best to do what needed to be done now before Robbie got any older. That memory of Michael had been the last one, everything else was a blank.

Alice had expected Danny to act differently to act differently when they got home. At hospital, before she remembered he'd held her hand asking if she was ok, if she needed anything. Then it had came out and she didn't really want to talk to him, until the Charlie incident and they had found some common ground. She had thought that once they arrived home and were settled he would go on the charm offensive and give her something else to get riled up about, trying to convince her to fall in love with him again but he hadn't. To her surprise he had kept his distance. Tried not to be alone with her if he could help it and they never talked about anything remotely relationship-py . Even tonight he was the same, she had went as far as seeking him out and asking his opinion on her pale pink dress and he told her very nice and walked off. She had seen something flare in his eyes as he had looked at her but he pushed it away quickly, and that wasn't like him. It was obvious that he had made his peace with the divorce and she had to do the same, even if her heart was breaking.

Because thinking about Danny always made her seek him out instinctively her eyes found him. He was on the opposite side of the building to her leaning against the bar holding a bottle. Charlie was by his side laughing at something he said. He gave her a little nudge and she bounced off towards Rosie. Alice saw him watch her go with a small smile. He wore a blue check shirt open at the collar with dark blue jeans and she could barely tear her eyes off him. Why couldn't he have pursued her? It would be easier for her if he had, then she would have found it easy not to want to be with him. It was so annoying, even tonight their eyes would meet from across the bar and she would feel something tighten in her chest that has nothing to do with Anthrax and everything to do with love. Seeing him stood there at the bar alone reminded her of all the times she'd be there beside him, his arm casually around her waist as he whispered in her ear. She'd end up laughing more than half the night and even though she would only have drank one or two bottles of alcohol she'd be feeling drunk from how much she loved him and how it just seemed to overflow within her. And at this moment Alice wanted those times so much she could hardly breathe!

She tore her eyes away from him, knowing better than to dwell on thoughts like that. No matter what was said and done tomorrow…..lights flashed and illuminated the girls and broke her train of thought. She sat watching them, sipped her drink thoughtfully. Charlie Rosie and Liv all stood in a corner laughing. Liv was wearing a white dress her hair hanging straight on her shoulders. Charlie in a lemon dress her hair clipped up done by Liv this afternoon and Rosie in a purple dress her hair up in some sort of twist, it was hard to tell in the dark. All three girls were almost the same size give or take. Liv once again was messing with Charlie's hair.

Once alert in the hospital Charlie had been disgusted to find that the doctors had shaved part of the back of her head to stitch the wound. She had screamed bloody murder swearing vengeance on all. Alice hadn't daren't laugh in the room but it had been hilarious! Charlie'd gave the doctor a real dressing down. It had been then that Alice had known that Charlie was going to be just fine. Anyway now Liv was peering at her hair trying to see if the spot was noticeable, which it wasn't but Charlie was paranoid. Before the accident and the Anthrax Rosie and Liv were close and used to chat to Charlie but she was always on the sidelines. Not Charlie was a participant, an equal. This was a new development as they just hadn't been that close to Charlie. It broke her heart to think that Charlie had matured without her, the thought sobered her.

Another noticeable difference was how different she was to Alice at that age. When Alice had been fourteen she hadn't been quite ready to step out of line with her dad, she was still missing her mum so much. Her relationship with Rowan had been complicated. But Charlie, she glowed with confidence and vibrance. Full of fun and laughter. She had a touch of arrogance to her, she was brilliant and she knew it. Rosie had told her how Ally worshipped Charlie and she thought yeah they were close but wow, Ally really did. Charlie was nothing short of a God! Put the two of them together and madness followed. Charlie was such an enigma sometimes. Put her with Rosie and Liv she was all mature and grown up, with Ally she messed on like a child talking about her mum and barbies and play fighting but put a phone in front of her and she was a typical teenager, talking to her friends about a boy call Will. Charlie it seemed was all things to anyone she needed to be and Alice couldn't be prouder of her daughter….and a little sad she had missed so much.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Alice startled by the voice jumped in her seat and turned. Danny stood behind her holding two glasses of yellow and red drinks. She remembered these from when he promised never to take her on holiday again. Multicoloured disco lights flashed above his head making his face change colour. "Sorry?" she asked.

"Penny for your thoughts." he repeated placing the drink in front of her.

She smiled playfully, looking in his eyes recently had that effect on her. "Since I died I think my thoughts are worth far more than a penny. How about a pound?"

"I brought you a drink how about that?" a smile on his face.

He hadn't smiled at her like that in months and she felt it all the way to her toes. She picked up her drink and sipped it. "It's ok I guess."

"Well?" he asked. "Since I paid for our thoughts."

She stayed silent and he sat opposite her. "Alice are you ok?" his tone slightly anxious his hand moved across the table to hold hers. "You had this funny look on your face and I was worried."

She shook her head. "I'm fine really just…." she shrugged. "Since I woke up everyone is different. You, Charlie, the girls I feel like I don't belong anymore."

"Your death would have affected us all deeply. We reacted in different ways, we changed."

"Yeah bit I didn't die I'm sat here and you all are still different and I feel like a third wheel!"

"Didn't make what happened any less real for us." he followed the line of her vision and saw her looking at Charlie.

"I know this has been said so many times but she really was amazing you know. She came to talk to you and it came right from her heart, it was obvious her pain eminated from inside and she was struggling, but she found her strength from you."

"Danny.…" she started tiredly.

"Hey those are her words not mine, I'm only repeating it."

"Oh." she frowned an looked at him over the table. "Must have been hard on everyone….you." looked at his face.

She saw him starting to withdrawn and she held his hand tight. It was then she felt then saw him shudder.

"I um….don't like to talk about ….errr…you know, losing you." he knew the futility of dwelling on such things. Especially since now he was losing her to London, to divorce or even to Michael. He had no idea what but the result was the same. She was no longer his wife but she was still the other half of his heart. "Can I ask you something?" he asked.

She nodded.

"How much do you remember?"

"Do you mean in the hospital? Being really ill?"

"Yeah, and before. The bathroom? Or in the car on the way to hospital?" sipped his drink looking at her intently.

"Not a lot. Bright lights. Soft hands. Then cold….so much cold." she was silent a moment. "Was it bad? I mean yeah Anthrax is bad but…." she didn't know how to finish that sentence so left it.

"You…." he cleared his throat as it blocked suddenly. "You were out of it a lot. You um….coughed up blood…." in his mind he was the red fluid trickling down her chin, bubbling uncontrollably in her mouth. "….there was so much blood." he added a whisper. "I tried to act normal, talk about something random but you were too ill, just before you were unconscious you said you were sorry and goodbye and by this point I was almost hysterical."

Her eyes widened. "Really? How did you deal with it?" she couldn't have dealt with him on his deathbed saying goodbye.

"Like I said hysterical. I thought I was going to crack up." he admitted. "To say it was awful is an understatement."

They lapsed into silence. She watched the girls as once again they stood together. Liv gesturing to some man who had caught her eye. Rosie was nodding while Charlie looked unsure then made a face and shook her head. "When did they get that close, I mean talking about guys together?"

They bonded over Miranda, Sarah and you. Rosie and Liv took Charlie under their wing almost immediately. She needed them."

Alice nodded. "At least she had all of you."

"At least I had her." he corrected. "She put me on the right path just as I was about to take the wrong one. I don't think I would have got through it without her."

"That's my girl." Alice murmured smiling.

Max came over and took Charlie's arm. He gestured to where a young man stood with two other men then began tugging her towards him. Charlie was getting redder and redder and was about to scream when the boy... Alice recognised him as Max's brother Will, he turned and looked. Charlie's eyes widened and she tripped over a chair and fell. Liv, Rosie and Max cracked up and when Alice looked she saw Charlie too was laughing, albeit embarrassed. Will walked over and offered his hand and Charlie almost started hyperventilating. Oh so THAT was Will. Just like her big sister, seemed like Rosie wasn't the only one who liked the Gifthold men. Too bad for Charlie he was far too old for her! As Charlie walked back towards Liv away from Will she was pointing back to Will and opened her mouth like she was screaming.

Liv laughed and covered her eyes with her hand.

"Keep Charlie here with you." she said impulsively.

Danny knew this had been coming, it had been planned for a week or so….

"I'm going home tomorrow. You wanted the kids here, they can stay." she continued.

"But…"

"Look at her here Danny. She is nothing like the angry girl in London. She is bigger here. It feeds her soul like it feeds yours." she looked in his eyes. "She is as much your daughter as mine, she can stay with her dad, I'll be back in a week or two anyway."

That wasn't what he wanted to say, he tried again. "But…"

"Don't argue Danny my mind is made up…."

Her mind was made up? There was no point then was there? Why was he being like this? He had tried giving her space and it hadn't worked, maybe if he tried to win her back….

"….and I know how much you want her here, you two have been as thick as thieves since our return from hospital and that was only three days ago. She's still your little girl then."

"Always my girl." he agreed.

Silence fell. They noticed Max as he spotted Rosie, her back was to him and he grinned. He made a beeline and grabbed her from behind. Rosie's whole face seemed to transform. It lit up and she laughed brilliantly. She spun in his arms and kissed him. Alice looked towards Danny.

"The kids look happy." she told him quickly.

Danny watched them a moment. They had started dancing now, Rosie's arms holding Max close, her head on his shoulder eyes closed. Max was just smiling, his expression saying it all.

'_Lovers dance when they're feeling in love, spotlights shining it's all about us.' _played in the background.

Danny clenched his jaw. "I remember when we were like that. When you used to look at me like that."

She nodded. "It's hard to see."

They looked at each other and the room seemed to stand still. As she looked into the green eyes she had noticed from their first meeting she came to the realisation that she had never needed him more than she did right now. If the past didn't stand between them then she'd…..it was pointless to even think about it because it did! She stood up. "I'm gonna…."

A line from the song seemed to be replaying over and over in Danny's head. '_The room's hush hush and now's our moment, take it in feel it all and hold it, eyes on you eyes on me we're doing this right.' _they could do this right. This could be their moment if they would let themselves feel it. He stood up and extended his hand. "Dance with me."

She hesitated.

"C'mon they're playing our song," it was a song they both knew, not one you could necessarily dance to but once they could both relate to since they had spent time apart. It was 'Wait For Me' by 'Theory of a Deadman.

"You are not alone tonight, imagine me there by your side." Danny murmured to her softly.

After he said that she found her hand slipping into his. It fit there as perfectly as it always had. He led her to an empty spot and his arms lowered to her waist. Hers found the spot they fit on his shoulders. And they moved slowly.

'_Well it helps me on those lonely nights, its been one thing that keeps me alive, knowing that you wait for me ever so patiently.'_

Played loud and clear and Alice felt her heart break. This was a bad idea and she shifted back making sure not to touch him more than she had to.

'_The sound of your voice brings me home.'_

"Why this song? WHY this song? It was a song he'd found when they had been apart and one that never failed to make her cry.

'_You're everything I dreamed of having and its everything I need just knowing you wait for me.'_

The song finally finished and she wanted to step away until another one started right behind it.

"Stay." he whispered. "Relax." his voice hypnotising.

It took her a few moments to realise what the piece was, it was Marsden's lament a hauntingly beautiful piano piece it was slow and heartbreaking. She wanted nothing more than to rest her head against Danny's heart and forget. She wanted to hear him say that everything was ok. He'd wrap his arms around her like he had in the past….NO. this wasn't the past. She pulled away. "This is a bad idea. We can't keep doing this."

"Alice…" but she already turned and was walking from the bar.

Rosie, Liv and Charlie looked across with disappointed expression, they had been talking hopefully at the sight of Danny and Alice together but it all seemed to have fallen apart again. Until they saw danny follow Alice, they waited with baited breath.

* * *

><p>Alice and Danny were outside in the cool night air. She was too distracted by the feelings coursing through her to notice the bite.<p>

"Alice…" he began.

She walked quicker gesturing to him while she was still walking. "I meant it Danny, we can't keep doing this to ourselves or the kids!"

"Why not?" he took her arm and halted her. "Alice we love each other!" Obviously ignoring it wasn't working so he was gonna be more direct like he wanted to at the start.

"What has loving you done for me?" she spat.

His jaw dropped and he felt hurt run through him "What?"

"Danny look at us! I cheated on my husband, and I'm not a cheater! We argue all the time. You withhold stuff from me. And that is just in the last few weeks."

"Yeah well you're forgetting the good stuff!"

"I don't want to love you anymore." she told him heatedly.

He took a step towards her until they were face to face. "You don't want to but you do." he cupped her face. "Tell me what to do to fix us." his voice low and convincing. "I'll do anything, anything at all."

She yanked her head away and shook it. "No." she knew this was coming, him charming her, convincing her. She was stupid to think he wouldn't try!

His hands lowered. "Alice how am I supposed to know…." his voice raised in anger.

"You're not supposed to know, you're supposed to leave me alone!"

"Tell me you don't love me and I'll do that, say it and I'll walk back in that bar and that'll be it."

She stared up at him angrily, no sound leaving her mouth.

"You can't can you?"

She looked away. "I don't love you."

"It doesn't count because you're not looking at me." he lifted her chin with his fingers, "Look in my eyes and mean it when you say you don't want to be with me anymore. It isn't hard, quite simple….if you mean it."

She again yanked herself away from him. "God Danny!" she fumed. "I really hate you sometimes!"

He nodded. "I know, its one of the things you love about me."

And the thing was that backward statement was true, and how masochistic did that make her? Still she'd never admit it…. "No Danny!"

"Don't deny it Alice."

She moved rapid quick and they were face to face again. "You make me so angry!" her eyes flashing fire.

"And you drive me crazy." he retorted.

Silence fell, she was breathing hard. Anger burned hotter when he grinned at her cockily.

Her eyes narrowed. "I swear to God…."

He couldn't resist the temptation anymore, they were so close and she was so beautiful when she was angry. "Shut up Alice. And he swooped down and kissed her. They were soon fused together, his arms trying to pull her closer. She was on her tip toes arms around him tightly. They were kissing feverishly, not an end in sight until the door to Fatani's bar opened and music blared.

They sprang apart.

Alice was trying to drag air into her starved lungs. He had never EVER kissed her like that before. He was always so controlled and that…..that was….oh my good god! She felt weak and she hated him at this precise moments for making her want things, want him. She stared at him angrily. What was it about him that made her want to kiss him and strangle him at the same time?

"Still going to say you don't love me?" he challenged.

She inhaled a deep breath resisting the urge to scream then stomped away.

Danny rubbed his face unable to believe that he had actually kissed her like that. And that she hadn't slapped him for it, what surprised him was she was a full participant! He exhaled loudly. Thank God they were interrupted!

He had to make things right with Alice. He walked into the bar and found his daughter.

"Look Rosie me and Alice need to talk, so we're going home ok?"

Rosie nodded. "Caroline called and said that Robbie and the girls were settled so to just leave him at ours for the night." she wiggled her eyebrows

Danny exhaled heavily.

After convincing Rosie he'd leave and follow Alice home. He knew where she'd be.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later unsuccessfully trying to convince Rosie that he and Alice weren't back together and 'fooling around' her words, he arrived at home, spotted a small figure sat by the fountain. It was on water gurgling softly. He walked down and saw the person looking up at the stars, her arms wrapped around her knees. This reminded him of the time she'd been attacked by the lion.<p>

'I'll always need you' was the words Alice has said. Maybe that wasn't true anymore. Back then she had accepted his hold now? Who knew. "I'm infuriating aren't I?" he conceded.

She laughed a little. "I love it about you." craned her head and looked at him, his face surprised. "Don't know why you're shocked. You said so yourself." looked back at the sky and sighed. "There is so much I love about you." she was calmer and more introspective than before. And knew there was no point in denying what she felt. He knew….and it changed nothing.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked.

She shrugged and he sat by her side.

"I love this spot." she murmured staring at the sky and the stars twinkling.

He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "I know."

"Ah but you don't know why." she countered and smiled wistfully.

Danny looked at her in question.

Alice merely continued to smile lost in memories. "Three reasons and they rank in order of importance. Number three, this spot was where I realised I loved you. I mean REALLY loved you. We were a couple and we'd had yet another disagreement about how to treat an animal. Something daft really. I stormed off hating you, this time instead of letting me go you followed, stopped me and kissed me. Every time I tried to say what was bothering me you cut it off with a kiss until I was laughing. Then you clicked I wasn't angry anymore and kept on saying things just so you'd plant your lips on mine." she sighed and shook her head. "In that moment, when you smiled at me so full of laughter and love I just knew that we were for keeps, I knew I couldn't live without you that I didn't even want to try." she was silent. "Number two, this was the place I realised my feelings, or at least recognised them for what they were. The fountain was blocked, sort of spluttering water."

Danny grinned widely. "I remember I unblocked it but got soaking wet and you laughed!"

They sat opposite smiling at each other. "Dupe said they turned the water off!" they echoed then quieted and stared, a feeling fell over both of them.

"There you were." she whispered. "Covered in green slime, dripping wet, laughing and kicking water at me." she closed her eyes as pain filled her. "I fell for that laugh you know. That was it. Just the laugh. It hooked me right in, every time you laugh I'm reminded of that moment." her eyes opened and her eyes radiated with hurt. "You don't laugh anymore." was a whisper on the wind.

He dropped his head. "I don't want this to happen Alice," he whispered voice hoarse. "I don't want us to end here, not like this."

"What do you suggest then Danny?" not angry but resigned. "Just go along for the hell of it? We're still young, there's still time…." but there would never be anyone for her but him. She felt it inside.

"What?" he declared incredulous. "You think there is anyone after you? I meant it when I said I love you. Nothing will change that. Even if you don't…."

"Don't say it Danny. I've already proved I can't say it so don't you either." she asked softly.

"You did say it though." he interjected.

Alice finally saw that although Danny had acted cavalier he had believed her words, or part of him had and it was that part that was with her now. Cocky scared Danny had left leaving her normal Dannyion his place. And it was that Danny she couldn't resist. She took his face in her hands. "My feelings haven't changed." she rested her forehead on his. "They are as real as ever." closed her eyes.

Danny was aware that she said feelings and not love, and the absence of that word made all the difference, it was almost staggering. "Alice if you feel the same, really, then stay. Don't leave…."

"I have to!" and she pulled back

"What about tonight?" he blurted.

"N…"

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips silencing her refusal. His forehead came to rest on hers one again. "What is your heart saying?"

"That I'm crazy about you." she admitted shakily almost breathless. "But my head…."

"Listen to your heart, not your head. Your head thinks too much." he told her.

"It keeps me sane." both their eyes still closed. "My heart is what causes the trouble." she was slowly losing her mind as he could feel the heat from his body so close to hers. His warm breath tickled her neck. "My heart fell for you even though my head said it was crazy!"

His low laughed echo around her and the memory of their love surrounded her. "Tonight." he repeated. "Just tonight."

It was the laugh that made her do it. "I…." she was gonna regret this in the morning. She had to leave and this staying together tonight was only going to make it massively harder to go. "Ok." she agreed. Then added a stipulation if her own. If they were staying tonight then they may as well go the whole way. She kissed him softly introducing more heat into it by degreesthe. Put her hands on his chest and lowered him so he lay across the blanket.

"Alice wh…"

"Ssshhh." she told him and kissed him slower, almost leisurely. Taking her time.

There was one final reason why she loved this spot. One night nearly two years ago they had the house to themselves all day and all night. He had set up a picnic here knowing her penchant for this small area. That night they got carried away and it was the only night when they weren't careful. Four weeks later, to the day she discovered she was pregnant. She obviously didn't plan on that happening here again….but for a little while she could pretend. So that's what she did. She was the Alice of the past, he was her husband who adored her. London didn't happen. Nothing could come between them - ever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN This was such a full chapter and covered so many emotions. If only Danny hadn't pursued her they may have had a chance, she was irritated that he wasn't doing as she expected and she was going to seek him out….unfortunately he did and annoyed her and well….**

**I think the most touching part of this whole fic is the part when Alice is talking about how she fell for him laughing and how she always remembered why she loved him when he laughed then said how he doesn't laugh anymore…..awwww bless her i wanted him to laugh but my muse is being evil! it is all so sad tho :(**

**this is all i have so if u do get an uupdate 2moro it will probs be quite short and not prewritten so not too good :/ thanks for sticking with it tho!**

**(PS 5585 words! :O)**


	55. This Was A Bad Idea

**A/N long time no update, quick recap Danice had a heart to heart and finally realise why they can't be together, they spend one last night together (*tear*) BUT is there a chance of a reconciliation? Read on!**

(X)

Alice lay in bed beside Danny watching dawns rays break across the sky and inching towards her. The sight was so beautiful the land so peaceful and tranquil that she almost wanted to wake Danny and watch the wonder of it together - almost. She didn't because she knew as soon as he was awake and dawn was over then this little interlude was going to end, and she didn't want it to. She wanted it to last longer than forever, her ever practical mind was telling her it couldn't. Their stolen night ended far too quickly and unlike in the movies, there was no happy ending.

She closed her eyes and Danny sighed deeply, last night had been….words didn't even come close to describing it. Their union had been tender and slow at times making the moment last forever and the other time they had come together was intense and tumultuous, like every touch every caress was the very last and this was the final time they'd be close. Some time a few hours ago after silently looking at each other, memorising the others face, drinking in the sight Danny finally leant in and kissed her. It was slow and sweet, like nothing she had ever felt before, then he gathered her close and held her while they slept. She had woke in the same position, neither had shifted. Her arms wrapped around his stomach, her head rested against his chest and his arms around her shoulders. She truly didn't want to let go, she wanted to remain locked in this tiny bubble of solitude. Maybe if they did then this wouldn't have to end. As much as the thought filled her with an unrestrained happiness she wasn't a fool, nothing lasted forever and while the morning sun eradicated all the darkness it counted down the last minutes of time they had. They had no trust, that was the simple fact of the matter, that combined with the angry words she and Danny had spat at each other earlier….well she wasn't sure that saving the remnants of what once a perfect love was even possible, maybe before but not now.

It was weird being able to lie here in total silence. There was usually slamming doors, people arguing about the bathroom and the smell of breakfast reminding you of how long ago tea had been and although lying in bed next to your husband was heaven your stomach finally won out and off you went to abate your hunger. They were completely alone in the house, Caroline was at Rosie and Max's having babysat the kids last night having a girly night in with Max's mum. To be honest Alice knew that the reason she had stayed behind was that Caroline didn't feel much like celebrating. Nearly losing her and Charlotte had hit Caroline surprisingly hard, she was getting over it slowly but seemed to be spending a lot of time alone or having quite conversations with Dupe. Alice had heard Sarah's name mentioned a few times too.

Alice blanked her mind from Sarah, Caroline and everything else, she wanted to savour the feeling of being in Danny's arms. For a few seconds it worked until evil reality began trying to intrude, telling her that she still had a bit to pack and she had a flight to catch. instead of those she focused on Danny's warmth around her, his scent filling her nose every single sense attuned to him. Alice allowed herself ten minutes of this then decided to face reality, the reality was she had to learn to live without this. A painful lump lodged into her throat almost stopping her breathing. She knew how much of a bad idea this had been, she had spent most of the morning trying to find a way to tear herself away from him and every time the thought entered her head her arms seemed to tighten instead of loosen, her body slithered closer to him and her heart pounded with dread jot stopping until she stopped thinking like that. Her mind was telling her one thing but her body had other ideas and it seemed that her body was winning. Fact was once she untangled her arms from his then they were over and all she wanted was to relive every moment she had with him. Every minute of every day, every kiss, every touch. Even every argument. Last night had been the last time and truth be told it had an element of finality to it and it broke her heart. She closed her eyes tightly determined that this time she was going to do it, he r body began to pull away. This time it was Danny's arms who tightened. Alice exhaled, she had thought he was asleep!

"You can't actually think I'd let you go this easily." his smooth voice told her.

She opened her eyes and was startled when his bright moss green eyes were staring into hers. His voice held no evidence that he had been asleep and she realised….

"No I haven't been asleep." he admitted. "I couldn't. I knew as soon as I was asleep you'd try to leave." he lowered his voice. "You always did try to go on the down low. Letting me know in the final second so I couldn't even try and stop you."

"Danny I need to go." her voice shuddering.

"Yeah and if you sounded more convincing then maybe I'd believe you. But you don't so no I don't think you need to go."

"Let me go!" she demanded.

"No!" his voice just as stubborn. His face as determined when an animal was dying in the surgery.

"Danny we don't need you to make this any harder then it has to be!"

"No, you'd much prefer me to just let you go. But I can't! I don't know how! Do you know how I do that Alice? Tell me!"

"Just do it Danny! You loosen your arms that is all!"

"As easy as it was for you earlier? Every time you tried I felt the change in you, except you weren't moving back were you?"

She narrowed her eyes staring at him angrily.

"Stay with me." he told her urgently. "Just tell me you'll stay and we'll start again. I know you love me."

She shook her head. She couldn't do this…..a thought occurred to her. What he had said last night. That if she didn't love him then he'd leave her alone. Alice knew that she wouldn't ever be able to say that to him and mean it….but someone else?

As she looked at Danny his features began to blur as she imagined someone else. A darker shade of green eyes, his hair thick black and wavy and features they were now aching familiar if only because her teenage daughter shared them, so reminiscent of the man who helped create her. She stared at Danny and imagined it was Michael opposite her…..still the words lodged in her throat. She exhaled, stiffened her whole body. "I don't love you."

Danny's whole body seemed to harden, although her eyes were fixed onto his face unblinking she wasn't actually able to see him her whole focus on keeping the image of Michael in her minds eye.

"No…" Danny shook his head. "No….I don't….last night….. you…."

"You think I don't mean it?" she sneered, her voice so cold she almost didn't recognise it as her own.

"I know you don't!" he fumed. "Last night you couldn't say it!"

"I was drunk. Truth comes out when you're drunk doesn't it?"

She heard the indecision in his voice. "But.…" he started. "What about…."

"What can I say Mic…." she cleared her throat hoping he missed her slip. "….we all make mistakes and you are the biggest one of mine."

Danny stared at her for a second then sat up his back to her and covered his eyes with his hand.

Just go, she silently pleaded, before she burst into tears. Her image of Michael had wavered and she had seen him, his face, his eyes oh Lord his beautiful eyes which were the window to his soul, he looked like he was in physical pain! He was breathing heavily, she felt it across the bed.

"Do you mean this?" he asked softly. "Or just saying it to make me leave?"

Alice didn't reply, couldn't for a second and she felt the change in his demeanour, knowing that had to finish this now she hardened her voice. "Do I sound like I mean it? Do I sound like I want you to stay." there was a slight tremor halfway through and she forced it away.

He seemed to stiffen again. "I don't know." his voice gentle. "You've never sounded like this before."

"Maybe you never knew me."

"I'm beginning to wonder." his voice breathy.

Alice clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, no, seriously no if he was getting upset then she was gonna cave like a deck of cards. This was so much of a bad idea! She just needed this last night with him, she hadn't thought to how much this was going to hurt both of them. It would have been easier if they just said goodbye last night and that was it.

She saw his head bowed and almost went to him, she forced her body to remain still, one of the things she loved most about him was he wasn't afraid to show his emotions. He didn't bawl like a baby but at moments of intense joy when he couldn't hold it back he shed a tear…..then there were the other times. There were only two times she seen him cry properly. Once was after his fathers funeral and the other was when they thought they were going to lose Charlie so this….if he was…..he had to leave now!

As she stared at his back she felt the internal dilemma, she had no idea which side was winning until he stood up abruptly and pulled his jeans on. "I'll leave you alone them." his voice devoid of emotion. He yanked his shirt off the floor and headed for the door.

Alice sat up and pressed two fingers to her left eye as she felt tears welling.

He opened the bedroom door forcefully then hesitated. "Oh and Alice…." his voice soft, back to her. "Remember that promise you made in the hospital when you woke up?" he head lifted his head staring at the hallway wall.

She had to think for a moment, her stomach pooled with acid. It was her promise that she'd always believe he loved her, no matter what. "Um…yeah." almost breathless. If he took it back she was likely to lose it right here right now.

He stood still silently, he still hadn't turned to look at her since her cruel words.

"It still stands." his voice neutral. He then closed the door as he exited the room. Alice stared at the door breathing heavily. A sob burst from her and she didn't try to stop it. Soon hot wet tears were flowing down her face. She realised she was crying quite loudly so she picked up a pillow and held it to her face to muffle the sound.

Unbeknown to her Danny was crying his own tears on the other side of the door. Hearing hers quite clearly, even over the pillow.

**A/N danice, danice, danice what are we going to do with them?  
>my official day for updating for the foreseeable will be Sunday as Uni work is KILLING ME! arghhhh too much research to conduct and analyse and recordings to transcribe : but i will try to get another chappie up soon x**


	56. 4 Long Weeks

**4 Weeks Later**

Danny had stomped around Leopards Den like an ellie with a sore tooth, at the moment he was sat, his back rested against a large stone by the new pens built by Ed. Everyone knew by his behaviour recently to give him a wide berth, to not even talk to him unless he spoke first, to be honest the passage of time was only making his anger worse. For the first week after Alice left he had lived in denial constantly telling himself and others around him not to worry, that Alice would come back, that she hadn't meant what she said. When that phase had ended he became mired in a deep depression when the mention of Alice's name made him leave the room quickly. The concluding two weeks had left him with a red hot anger that seemed to intensify day by day. No one was able to get through to him, Caroline had taken the kids to N'Goonie Lodge for the weekend she had left Dupe behind and he had been tasked with talking to Danny. Dupe however had kept his distance for which Danny was thankful, he really didn't fancy losing his temper with his best friend and it would come to that as Dupe didn't even consider the concept that there might be limits, he simply ploughed on unaware of how it may make Danny feel.

Four weeks burst into his mind unexpectedly. In those four weeks Alice hadn't gotten in touch with him once, oh she spoke to the kids and Dupe and Caroline often enough but he hadn't heard a word! Not even a text to say that she arrived safely! He shook his head and surveyed the area he sat in, he spent a lot of time here. There wasn't an area of land that Alice hadn't touched, but she hadn't been here since this had been rebuilt so memories here weren't prevalent. In the surgery she was there, larger then life. Her concerned voice echoed as he operated on a seriously ill animal. On the patio and in the house he could hear her laughter loud and happy or her low mischievous chuckle. He could see her smile in his head when he was trying to surprise her….he sighed, God he missed that smile! And their bedroom, that was the worst. He could hear her low husky voice as she told him she loved him. Her soft breathy pants as they expressed their love and her slow rhythmic breathing as she slipped off into a peaceful slumber. He'd had four weeks of this and he could hardly stand it, he didn't know how he was surviving one single minute more! Breathing had never felt this hard before! Before he knew what he was doing he had picked up a rock and threw it with all his might in the direction of the empty pens. The clanging ringing resounded and echoed around him, he meanwhile had already dropped his head and placed it in his hands and exhaled loudly. He had to find a way to move passed feeling like this, but how? He had always knew he needed Alice but he hadn't actually thought he'd cease to be able to operate without her by his side. His days consisted of going through the motions, and that wasn't fair to the animals, to his kids or to himself. It had been four weeks, four long torturous weeks, it was time to face facts, she had left and she wasn't changing her mind, they were over. He had his eyes closed considering all the strategies he could use to gain some space with the split from his wide when he heard footsteps approaching. He knew it was Dupe as his feet dragged a little, he could hear scuffs from his shoes…..he knew that Dupe keeping his distance was too good to be true. There was the sound of something being placed on the ground.

"Thought I'd find you here." came Dupes rough voice.

Danny lowered his hands and stared at the ground, not looking at his best friend. "What do you want Dupe and it better not be to talk to me like Caroline said because to be honest I'm not in the mood ok? Fair warning."

Dupe chuckled. "You're warning me?" he shook his head, his tone from playful to serious. "I thought you a lot of things Daniel Trevanion but stupid was never one of them!"

Danny finally looked at him. "And now you 'Daniel' me. You already have my thoughts on that!"

"This situation warrants Daniel!" Dupe retorted his emphasis on the given name "I imagine you're mother used to use it when you stepped out of line."

"No." Danny lied.

"Well mine did!" Dupe waved a hand dismissing this part of the conversation. "And as for Caroline telling me to talk to you you're way off base, do you think I would let this happen to you and Alice? After how hard I worked to get you and Alice together? Lets face it the two of you need to thank me for the relationship you're both so willing to throw away and everything else that came with it."

Danny's teeth were on edge already. "Thanks." he said snidely. "Now if you'll leave me alone…."

"It isn't MY fault you can't make your marriage work, and it wasn't the kids fault either!"

Danny's face hardened "Shut up!"

Dupe carried on, no one else would dare to talk to Danny like this. Danny was as mild as a kitten until pushed to his furthest limits, and this was bound to do that. "I know what you are doing too, you think you can get away from Alice's presence? Like she isn't imprinted on this land!"

Danny's fists clenched. "Shut up!" erupted from him, louder this time.

"Maybe Alice is, or maybe she isn't but do you really want to know why you can't escape her?" Dupe tapped his head. "What you gonna do about that huh? You gonna cut your head off, or maybe rip you're heart out coz believe me that is what it takes!"

"Leave me alone Dupe!" Danny was almost shaking with the anger raging inside.

Dupe decided to push him further, it was the only way. "There is one other way I know of to forget her. I can introduce you to someone…"

Danny scrambled up on his feet in seconds and had Dupe pushed against the pens his hands fisted in his collar. "You think I want that?" his voice far too calm for this to be anything less than pure unadulterated rage.

Dupe stared right back not perturbed in the slightest that Danny looked fit to kill. "I don't know what you want, but I know you aren't doing anything at all to get Alice back."

Danny's hands fisted in his shirt tighter. "There isn't anything to do! You didn't hear what she said!"

"Nothing you can't get over if you love each other, and by the way you've been acting this last month you love her enough."

Danny pulled him towards him only to throw him back against the pens, stomped over to the rock he had previously been leaning against and bent double over it shielding his face. "She said she didn't love me anymore." feeling the hurt cascading over him. He had tried his best to hide from those words but Dupe's comment about loving each other enough brought it to the forefront of his mind, the look on her face when he looked at her, when had her eyes become so icy blue? Then there was the sound of her voice as she said it…. He felt his knees crumble underneath him and he was kneeling by the rock. "Have you any idea how that felt to hear her say that to me?"

"You think she meant it?" Dupe asked in shocked that Danny was that blind….then again this was Danny!

"Of course she did!" he snapped face obscured. "I couldn't say that to her. You don't say it unless you mean it. She told me right to my face Dupe, looked in my eyes!"

"What did she say?" Dupe prompted. "Her exact words?"

"She looked at me dead in the face, not even blinking and said, I don't love you, I tried to deny it but she just kept saying things, she finished with I was the biggest mistake she ever made." a shudder ripped through him.

Dupe frowned and ran his hands through his hair. "That doesn't sound like Alice."

Danny shifted and was sat against the rock again. His eyes dry but pain filled. "I know, I told her as much."

"What she say?"

"That I never really knew her, and I'm beginning to wonder if I did Dupe. I never dreamed she could even think that about me never mind say it."

Dupe walked over to him. "Then she did exactly what she intended to man. Think about it Danny! There has got to be something!"

Danny looked up at him. "It is all I ever think about Dupe." he admitted. "And it all boils down to one thing she meant it! I could NEVER say that to her."

Something didn't sit well it Dupe. He saw how Alice looked at Danny, her eyes shimmered like she saw something else no one else did. "Have you thought that maybe those words weren't meant for you?"

"I hate to break it to you Dupe but we were alone in the room. I've went through it in my head so many times and it equates to one thing, she doesn't love me anymore. She settled for me."

Dupe scratched his head frowning deeper. "No this is wrong, she wouldn't say that to you." he shook his head. "Michael? Definitely but not you, and especially not the biggest mistake part. I mean remember what she said at the wedding?"

"I try not to." Danny drawled.

Dupe hit him on the back of the head. "Focus instead of feeling sorry for yourself!"

"OW!" Danny rubbed the spot.

"Alice said on your wedding day that you are the only man who has shown her real, true unconditional love."

Danny winced feeling the words like swords piercing his heart. "I don't need to remember that right now!" Danny shouted.

"I THINK YOU DO!" Dupe roared in reply startling Danny into silence. "Those words were NOT meant for you! THINK!"

Danny stared at him for a second, then shook his head turning all his emotions off. "Why are you here Dupe?" he wasn't listening to Dupe talk like this anymore.

Dupe studied his face then exhaled, motioned to the vet box. "Problem with the giraffes."

"Where?"

"Copy." Dupe told him, nearly gloating. Everyone knew the story of the copy. It was gonna end up a legend around here!

Danny shook his head and crossed his arms. "No Dupe send Rosie or Ed."

"Ed is busy at Mara and Rosie is out in the bush miles away. That leaves you."

Danny stood up and looked him in the face. "Not there."

"Face it Danny, you'll have to eventually, or you gonna avoid the copy for the rest of your life?"

"Not now though."

Dupe shrugged playing to his softer side. "The giraffe will remain in pain, after everything he did for you."

Danny was taken aback. "Alice's giraffe?" he whispered.

Dupe nodded. "Leg snared in barbed wire, badly tangled. Poachers again. Its messy."

Danny hesitated a second then walked over to the vet box and picked it up. "If this is a put on…."

"I wouldn't do that, I still think you're wrong though." Dupe replied shaking his head.

Danny ignored him and headed in the direction of his truck.

(X)

Danny arrived at the copy in not time and indeed saw Hamley, or the old guy as Alice christened him stood waiting his leg bleeding profusely, metal tangled around his leg. Ironically the same leg as last time. "Hey boy." he murmured putting his box on the dusty ground. He looked around and closed his eyes a second. Is this a conspiracy or what? Hamley stood almost on the exact spot where he and Alice shared their first kiss, Danny was going to have to kneel there. "You would pick this spot huh?" he asked snapping on the latex gloves. He knelt down clippers and antiseptic by his side. "Anyway how's the missus? She dropped junior yet?"

The giraffes head shook almost answering him.

"She driving you crazy yet? Pregnant females tend to do that." he smiled. "When Alice was…..never mind." he was clipping away. "Better hope you have a little boy, woman are nothing but trouble." he used his wrist to wipe the sweat from his brow. "I knew Alice was trouble the first time I set eyes on her. She was cocky and head strong and had me feeling like a slug from a single look numerous times." he shook his head. "Still didn't stop me from falling hard though. I fell for because of that no doubt!" he snipped a thick piece. "Shame on me huh?" he was silent a moment. "Still though, there are so many good points in relationships, like Charlie and Robbie, and Junior for you of course." he wiped the blood away. "Hence the reason you tolerate the craziness, and kinda miss it when its gone." he sprayed the animals leg with the purple antiseptic. Dupe couldn't have planned it better if he tried. If this was ALL a coincidence then he was a monkeys uncle, Dupe wasn't big on subtlety. "You best get home if you're late for dinner she'll have you." looked at the stain on the animals leg as he walked off. "And remember what I told you last time about the leg." sighed sadly as the animal departed.

Danny headed back to his box and packed it up, the sound of the bush washing over him. He found his eyes drawn to the spot where he and Alice had declared their feelings.

'_I love you and I know you don't love me…..' echoed in his memory._

'_From the first time I set eyes on you….'_

"I love you…..I love you….I love you…." all the times she'd said that to him haunted him. He exhaled shakily as tears filled his eyes. Clenched his jaw and snapped the box shut violently. If she hadn't sounded so convincing when she spoke the opposite to him he would never have believed it.

Even when they broke up briefly and she moved to Mara she hadn't said it.

_"No….I don't….last night….. you…."_

_"You think I don't mean it?" she'd sneered, her voice so cold he didn't recognise it as hers._

_"I know you don't!" he'd fumed. "Last night you couldn't say it!"_

So what had changed? she hadn't been able to say it the night before, and although the alcohol excuse was a good one it didn't ring true.

_"But.…" he started. "What about…."_

_"What can I say Mic…._

Danny froze. "What can I say Mic…." he whispered. Was she about to call him Michael? What Dupe said returned to him. 'Those words weren't meant for you Danny…' all that combined with her tears after he left the room could mean…..danny halted that thought and picked up his box. Made his trek towards the house lost in tumultuous thought.

(X)

Alice lay dozing on her sofa missing Danny more than words could express. She couldn't believe it had only been four weeks since she last seen and heard his voice. It had honestly felt like four lifetimes. She had tried so hard to get motivated and get back to South Africa to be with her kids but it didn't hold the appeal it once had. Nothing appealed to her because she missed her husband, that was it. It was out there. She missed him! She had resolved to pick herself up on Monday allowing herself this last weekend of moping. She had the kids to think about. Charlie and Robbie didn't need to see their mother moping around lost. She had to get back to them too, Charlie missed her and Robbie grew quickly it was over in a blink it seemed. She had to get back there soon and find somewhere to work, live and of course sort out some sort of arrangement in which both Charlie and Robbie had the chance to see both their mum and dad. Yeah it was going to hard seeing Danny everyday knowing what they used to share but she'd do it, Charlie and Robbie needed Danny in their life and just because it hurt her was no excuse to keep him from his kids.

Alice shifted to a more comfortable position on the sofa. As she lay in the quiet hush of the room she was finding it difficult to remember all the reasons why she and Danny couldn't be together, on the contrary in fact happy times flashed through her mind. There was one happy time that was encapsulated by a photo that lay beside her. It was taken of her and Danny on their wedding day. This was at the party after, their first dance, even though they had a photographer it had been Rosie who had taken this photo. They stood facing each other, her arms draped over his shoulders, his around her waist. He was smiling widely down at her, looking like the cat that got the cream. The love he felt for her shining from his eyes for all to see. She simply beamed back, her eyes staring deeply into his, unable to see anyone else. This was the story of her life though, she always lost the people she loved most. And as much as you wished it didn't happen, all good things come to end. Instead of dwelling on that thought she focused her mind on the image, her hand finding the photo and resting across it, like that touch could make the image travel from her palm into her brain. Her last conscious thought as she drifted off to sleep was the way Danny's eyes gleamed, remembering how he leaned in slowly and kissed her slow and deep.

After being asleep for almost an hour, she didn't hear the man entering her home and entering the living room. He saw her sleeping soundly and knelt down beside her. Ran his hand over cheek slowly. She moved her head a fraction at the touch. It was then he saw the photograph. He slipped it from under her hand and studied. Alice was absolutely breathing taking on it. After looking intently he dropped it and watched it flutter to the floor and continue to caress Alice's face.

"Alice." he said softly. "C'mon Alice wake up." he coaxed.

**A/N this hasn't been checked, it'll be checked and corrected later, sorry for any major errors/spelling mistakes. poor danny, bless him the copy has been planned from the beginning, although it was slightly different to what i planned. Dupe was good tho...and the end hmmmm who is with Alice? Danny maybe? Next chapter has been written since i started!**


	57. I Used To Be

Alice felt warm moist hands moving rhythmically across her face, she shifted slightly trying to move away from it. It was then she realised that the sensation although slick was also soft moving feather light. She was so tired she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind she knew that Danny's touch was different to this one. The hand seemed to move clumsily while Danny's glided flawlessly shaping the contours of her face effortlessly. She ignored this thought though wanting only to sleep right now, it had seemed to be forever since she had rested.

"C'mon Alice wake up." a smooth Scottish voice lilted.

Her eyes popped open her peaceful reverie broken. As they opened she noticed Michael kneeling beside her his hand still moving across her face. She found his touch to be offensive so jerked her head away and rubbed her cheek almost like she could erase the memory of his careless movements.

"Michael?" she gasped breathlessly. "When….what…. How did you get in here?" her eyes wide, her body straining to be away from his.

He smiled good naturedly unaware of her preference for space. "Hello Alice." disregarding her last statement. "Rowan told me you were back." his face showed no evidence of the last time she seen him, or the beating Danny had given him.

"What….what…." she came to her senses, she had zero desire to even be on the same continent as him, since she had no control of that right now she could however control something else. "Can you please leave?" asked in a polite but also cold manner. She thought she left no room for argument, Michael however had other ideas.

"We need to talk Alice." he gave her the wounded puppy look he used so often when they were kids. In the past she used to melt at the sight of it, now she felt nothing.

"No, you need to leave, we have nothing to say to each other." he frowned wondering why the look he gave her wasn't working, then decided another tactic. He put his hand over hers.

"I'm sorry to hear about the end of your marriage."

She narrowed her eyes. The old comfort routine, like she was that stupid twice! She pushed his hand off hers. "You're the reason it ended." she spat then saw the smile peeking from his features. "And actually Michael you don't look sorry you look smug! If you can't be honest with me at least be honest with yourself."

He shrugged. "Ok." he conceded. "I'm not sorry. He wasn't good enough for you Alice. I want you back. I should never have let you go."

"If you remember I let you go AND you know nothing about me and Danny so don't presume to know whether he was good enough for me ok!"

"But Alice…." he began, the rest of his statement cut off when he swooped down and pressed his lips to hers, she spluttered and flinched, his touch repulsive. She clenched her fist tightly.

(X)

Danny was sat in a taxi en route to his and Alice's house in London. He had no idea how this happened. One minute he had been heading up to the house after treating the giraffe feeling like he had a dozen boulders on his shoulders and the next he was in an airport paying an exorbitant amount of money to get three connecting flights to Heathrow. Upon arrival he had hailed and taxi and here he was, speeding to his destination feeling sick at the prospect of what he was about to do. He liked to imagine that he would refuse to leave until she promised to come home with him, but if she started talking like the last time she seen him he simply couldn't. Ok yeah he was fairly sure she had been seeing Michael, or at least imagining him, but it still hurt like hell to hear her say that to him. He just couldn't listen to that again! He looked out the window his sickness building with every mile that passed, the place looked the same as ever. He tossed some money to the driver as they pulled to a stop and climbed from the car. His green eyes taking in every detail. The house looked the same as ever, except the garden looked slightly overgrown and messy. Nerves filled him as he approached the door, opened it then closed it quietly. He knew immediately that Alice was here, he could feel her presence, his whole body seemed to be vibrating needing her closeness, just another way he knew they were meant for each other. He hadn't felt that feeling before, not with Miranda or Sarah, just Alice.

He frowned when he recognised there were two voices in the house, both with Scottish accents, and no one wasn't Rowans. One was undoubtedly Alice, he could pick her voice from a million and the other, sickness he had been fighting since he boarded the plane rose as the other one was a too familiar voice, Michael. He exhaled softly feeling the fight leaving him. Four weeks he had left her, had Michael been here the whole time? Maybe he had been wrong when he thought that the words she said were meant for Michael, maybe they truly were meant for him. He crept on ahead and heard the voices clearly now,

'Alice I love you.' Michael was saying softly.

Danny rested his forehead against the closed door and found his eyes lids lowering. Had he already lost her? He was about to leave when Michael's next question gave him reason to hesitate.

"Alice why push me away when I kissed you before? Why clobber me?"

"You're seriously asked me why?" Alice gasped. "It was out of order, you caught me completely off guard and I am married to Dan…."

"Don't mention him Alice." he growled. "Can't you see I can love you better. I know you better. We have history, with me you will never have to choose. Anything you want is yours!" he promised.

"What if I want someone other than you?" she countered simply.

Michael ground his teeth together.

"I trust you Alice. He won't! me, you and Charlie we'll be a family again. Like we were back in the beginning."

"And Robbie?" she asked eyes narrowed. "What about my son?"

"Him too of course." he added hastily.

"And his dad, what about him. Do you expect him to give Robbie up without a fight, like you did with Charlie?" she wasn't falling for this crap, she just wondered how far he was willing to go. He would never agree to love another mans child and treat it as his own.

Michael had the grace to blush. "We'll sort that when it comes. Look I was so wrong to let you both get away so easily. I won't make that mistake again." he was on his knees his hands rested on her thighs. "We should never have split up. Just give us a try. I know you won't regret it. I know you still have feelings for me!"

She laughed though it held no humour, "You think I have feelings for you? Michael I…."

He cut her off. "This can't be about Danny and you still loving him. I saw the way he treated you. The way he pushed you away from him at Leopards Den. You left him for gods sake! You almost died coz of him!" he told her clearly.

"How do you know that?" she asked coldly.

He made a face. "Rowan."

She shook her head ready to strangle her brother for giving Michael more ammo. "Just coz I left Danny doesn't mean I don't…." she exhaled remembering what she told him. "I was doing more harm that good being there. We were both hurting each other so much and I couldn't watch it anymore."

Danny's head was pressed against the door listening intently now, her revelations seemed to be filling him with a glimmer of hope. He could hear how much it cost her saying these things. She was breathing audibly and if he closed his eyes he could see the tears in her eyes. He placed his hand on the door handle. What had he done to her to make her sound like that? He couldn't do it anymore!

"Look Alice we were good together weren't we?"

Michael asked.

Danny froze again waiting for her answer, yes he was a coward but he had to make sure.

"No Michael." came a simple reply. "We just thought we were. We thought because we made a kid together automatically made us a family but it doesn't work like that. I've had good together," smiled wistfully. "I've had brilliant together. I've had can't eat, can't sleep, feel like you're going insane but you don't mind kind of love. Could you do that Michael? Sorry but what we had then doesn't even come close." Alice rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I need time to heal, to get over my husband. We might be over but I still…..I'll always…." she closed her eyes and swallowed, covered her face. "Please Michael I just want to be alone."

Danny's head jerked up as he had an epiphany. Was there still a chance? After everything they had said and done could she still love him? Without thinking he burst into the living room and pushed Michael out of the way. He went sprawling but Danny ignored him.

"Danny?" Alice yelped, her eyes wide drinking him the sight of his face. He looked tired, but still better than anything she had seen.

"Don't get over me!" he told her quickly.

She once again covered her face with her hands. " I can't do this anymore," she keened voice anguished.

"No." he told her and moved her hands from her face and twined her fingers with his own tightly. "Look at me, I'm sorry, for everything!"

She still averted her eyes.

"Don't look away Alice." he pleaded. "I love you I…I'm stupid. I know that. And I'm foolish and too proud and jealous and idiotic but I need you, nothing makes sense when you're not there."

She shook her head. "Danny no..…"

He put a finger over her mouth and silenced her. Felt a sensation run up his arms, both their eyes closed for a second and neither could breathe.

"Feel that?" he asked shakily.

She was experiencing aftershocks, her eyes opened and she found his green eyes looking so her so full of love, she felt a free falling effect it was like she was plummeting from what felt like a hundred feet and she couldn't stop it.

Michael who had been shocked by Danny's sudden reappearance had simply stared wide eyed, came alive when he saw Alice start to sway towards Danny's touch instinctively Michael was on his feet and moved towards Danny. "Back off Danny, she said no!"

Danny didn't hear him, or didn't care. His entire focus on Alice.

"Look, " he whispered and put his hand on her cheek lowered her head a fraction so they were looking in each others eyes. "I know if we walk away from this now, if we don't fight for what we have then we won't be able to turn back and to be honest that is scaring the hell out of me. Try to remember Alice, remember how good we were. If you can do that then I know we can work this out. We just need to let each other in again."

"It hurts too much to let you in Danny." she admitted.

Michael was texting furiously.

He ran his hand down her cheek, the same cheek Michael had touched and the difference was massive. He was clutching her two hands still staring in her eyes, she looked weary and defeated, nothing like his strong cocky Alice. Nothing like the one who had contradicted him on the first day they had met. He wanted to rage at himself at the evidence of what he did to her. "I know it hurts. I _hate_ what I have done to you." he slowly moved a strand of hair that had fallen across her face. "I know so much of the stuff I did was unforgivable…." Danny moved his head a fraction closer and ran his knuckles down her cheek. "But I don't care about anyone but you and me." he told her softly. "We'll start again here in London, in this house or somewhere else if you want. We can spend so much time decorating it making it perfect."

Alice leaned away again, remembering how it was before. "You don't mean that, you don't want that."

He put his hand on her cheek and turned her making sure she was looking at him. "All I want is you. We'll do it all. Renew out vows in a church, have the kids christened, buy a dog and settle here. We'll go to marriage counselling and get everything that hurts out in the open. I love Leopards Den, I really do but I love you more, Leopards Den is a place without you, my home is you and our kids and it just took me too long to see it." he lowered his voice. "I went to out copy, spoke to Hamley. I love that place Alice but it's cold now, I need you to breath life into it like you breathed life into me."

Alice sighed deeply then shook her head.

God he loved how stubborn she was, all he had to figure out was how to direct this stubbornness into keeping them together instead of trying to keep them apart. "You can say no all you want I'll till be here with you! I'll contest the divorce! I'll force marriage counselling. Neither one of us wants this Alice, neither one of us wants to be apart, or to divorce. We can work this out!" Danny was slowly wearing her down.

"I know you Danny." she told him heart breaking. "What happened with Michael, you won't be able to forget it! It'll eat away at you!"

He shook his head vigorously. "I don't care about it anymore! Because after it happened the first thing you did was come home to me, that speaks volumes. You could have pretended it didn't happen but you told me knowing that we could get through it! What he did to you doesn't even come close to what we share. We share love! I can do anything Alice if I have you. I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't hurt me because it did but you told me it meant nothing and I believe you."

"You say all this now Danny yet you still said and did things which hurt me just as much. You even withheld things from me. You went through me telling you I cheated and you did the same just to hurt me. How can you do something like that to someone you love?"

"Coz I disconnected from my feelings from you. It hurt too much, but just because I disconnected didn't mean they weren't still there. When I almost lost you I realised they were there and as Alice as ever. Me and you are a team." he told her. "Since the beginning, from that first quarantine op, when you put me straight with such ease and turned my life upside down. Since the first time I set eyes on you."

There was a loud banging on the front door. Michael went to answer it. "Finally!" he breathed when Rowan walked inside.

Alice meanwhile had closed her eyes and rested her forehead on Danny's everything she was feeling written clearly on her face. Danny's hand found her cheek and he too closed his eyes. "We can get through this." he urged.

Rowan walked into the living room and saw Alice with Danny. Tears on her cheeks. Pain raw and unmasked on her face. He took a step back as it hit him, truly hit him what he'd done by trying to keep her here. He'd hurt his baby sister so much, possibly irreparably. Self disgust filled him.

Michael was hot on his heels. "Help me Rowan, Danny is going to convince her.

Rowan spun. "Michael give it up! Its Danny she loves. Danny who she has always loved. If its him she wants then I'm behind her."

Michael was furious. "He can't win her! I won't lose like that! I refuse!" Michael blustered.

"Win?" Rowan asked almost speechless then pure rage filled him. He fisted the collar at the back of Michael's neck. "Look at her face! Does that look like a game to you? She isn't a game!" he then dragged Michael out of the living room to the front door.

Danny and Alice were too wrapped up in each other to even notice Rowan was here.

"I love you Alice I can't even willing let you go. I know I hurt you…"

"I hurt you too." she countered.

"You're the one I go to when I'm hurt. You're the one who makes it better. I heard you crying in our room that morning when you left and the biggest mistake I made was not going back in there and holding you til you forgot why you were crying. Til you forgot what we both said. I shouldn't have let you leave, I shouldn't have believed what you said. I can see the pain inside you are trying to hide. You can't hide that from me, I know you too well, inside and out. I can't stand to see you hurting anymore. I know you might feel different but I remember who you are and you're the same to me as you always were. I'm still yours and you're still mine and nothing else matters."

Rowan walked in. "Alice I need to talk to you."

Danny heard him this time. "Go away Rowan. Danny asked. "Me and Alice are talking."

"This is important!" Rowan told him heatedly.

"THIS is important! This is my marriage!" Danny countered.

Rowan wasted no time. "Alice Michael told me that nothing happened between the two of you that night he stayed over."

Alice looked at Rowan not fully believing what he was saying. "What? But I…I woke up beside him."

Rowan shrugged. "You had been drinking vodka straight, he did kiss you and you didn't respond at first then he felt something and he led you upstairs, he paused to grab some protection from his wallet and you passed out."

Alice frowned as she tried to remember, she did remember him laying beside her, his hands….she shuddered then ….then he swore then….black. Her jaw slacked. "So I didn't…" she whispered to herself. Everything that happened recently had been for nothing. "I don't have to feel guilty anymore." she whispered into the air. "I didn't…." rubbed her head absently. "I can start fresh…" she thought out loud.

"No Alice." Danny told her. "You don't."

"Danny…." she finally remembered he was here and looked at him.

"I already said it didn't matter to me and I meant it. Look at my face, do I look relieved?"

Alice studied his face and he looked the same as earlier. He hadn't jumped for joy, he wasn't smiling. He looked just normal. "Actually no."

"Because I meant it when I said it didn't matter." he exhaled. "I realised something after some soul searching on the plane over. I keep telling you what you mean to me but I haven't told you how I view myself to you." he took a steadying breath. "I used to be the man who understood you, the man who held your hand as we walked around our home. The man who wasn't just your partner at work but in everything. I used to be the man who loved you more than anything else in this whole universe. YOUR MAN! I'm your strength but don't you see? You are the meaning behind that, without you that man doesn't exist, I want to be him again! I want to watch the sunrise with you after one of the kids has given us a rough night, I want to stand under the moon with you and count the stars in the sky spending the rest of our lives trying to work out how many there are. Every single day I'll tell you how precious you are to me and I promise I'll never let you down again. I know you're scared but let me be brave for the two of us. My heart knows you better than anyone else and it's telling me that we aren't finished yet. All I want you to do is listen to your heart. I'm not telling it to pick me, or asking you to do something you don't want to do. All I want is for you to follow your heart."

Her heart was screaming at her to be with him, her head meanwhile was another thing entirely.

Danny stood up and extended his hand. "Just take my hand." he whispered heart pounding.

Rowan watched from the corner of the room on tenterhooks, he eyes riveted anxiously on Alice's face.

Alice meanwhile was looking quickly between Danny's hand and his face.

**A/N DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN Hate to leave it there, actually no I don't lol  
><strong>**Anyway Rowan redeemed himself in the end by throwing Michael out….last we see of him! YAY! And Alice didn't cheat! Tbh even off her face Alice still couldn't cheat on Danny.  
><strong>**But the big question is will she take his hand or won't she…..and remember what she said about why she loves him, he still hasn't laughed (not that hes had a reason to like!)  
><strong>**And side note only half a chapter of this left to write and then its finito! At most 3 chapters to go, possibly two depends on how i seperate the chappies. Then i'm moving on to finish opposites attract, severly neglected recently, then finish darkness falls and finally if i find the time between my dissertation et al i will start a new fic :) x **


	58. Truths and Tests

Alice stared art Danny's hand, it was such a small step placing her hand in his. If she did everything would go back to how it was before. But the main question would it be like it used to be in London or in Leopards Den? He was offering to move here just like last time had been his choice and life had almost been hell, he had knocked her off her feet and not in a good way like it had been at South Africa. The thing was if she put her hand in his she was not only going back to him but also placing her trust in him again and that meant he could hurt her again. So not only a small step but also a massive emotional leap. What if she wasn't able to make that leap again? What if he did hurt again? Could she honestly take that risk? She didn't want a repeat of the last year, she couldn't go through that again! Mind made up she stared up at him steeled her back and shook her head.

"No." that one simple word was all that needed to be said. Her voice completely emotionless.

Danny seemed to visibly pale. The word pierced his heart he dropped his hand and nodded. "Ok I'll um…bring Robbie and Charlie across in a few days."

Alice frowned. "But I already agreed to move over there." she argued.

He shook his head. "This is where you want to be." his voice gentle, so at odds with the passion he had displayed before she declined him. "You're their mother and they should be with you. Plus I'll be close." he gave her one last glance, almost like he didn't understand her then he walked out. Rowan followed him, Alice meanwhile flopped back on the sofa feeling hollow.

Rowan re-entered the living room. "Where is he going Alice?" he knew full well he just wanted to hear her say it.

She shrugged eyes dark and bleak with sadness. "Dunno."

He frowned. "Alice I thought the two of you were going to make up. That's what you want isn't it?"

She nodded.

"Well why say no then? Or are you playing games?"

"Oh yeah of course I'm playing games!" she fumed. "I mean me and Danny play divorce all the time, its our favourite!"

"Cut the bullshit Alice that isn't what I meant and you know it! If you want him back so badly then why send him away?"

She made a face, then released a humourless laugh,. "I don't think you'd understand. Danny just….maybe we don't fit as well as I thought. Maybe he is the same as every other man I have known."

"What?" he gasped. "Are you comparing Danny to Terry?" Rowan shook his head. "God Alice I could slap you then shake you then slap you again!" he frowned. "Anyone can see that Danny and Terry are poles apart."

"You think I mean Terry? I haven't even thought that name in God knows how long."

Rowan rubbed his forehead. "Well you're right I don't understand!"

"Well since that is settled then you can go, I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"And its gonna be that easy to get rid of me when you are making the biggest mistake of your life?"

"Well you'd know all about mistakes wouldn't you Rowan?" she replied nastily.

He shook his head. "Deep down you're still that teenage girl who wants to stick two fingers up at the men who hurt you aren't you? And here I thought I was the one who hadn't grown up!"

She glared and stuck two fingers up at him.

Rowan was aghast at what she was doing. "Why Alice? Why are you letting him go if you love him? And don't lie to me and say you don't. I see the look on your face every time you see him. Sometimes you shiver when he touches you."

Alice frowned at her older brother, since when had he been so observant?

"Does it surprise you that I noticed that? Does it surprise you that I'm looking for that?"

Alice raised her arms in a gesture of unknown. "Ok yeah when he's close I can barely think, I can't take my eyes off him and sometimes if he looks at me and his smile catches me off guard for a second I can't breathe. And yeah when he touches me sometimes I feel this weird hot and cold feeling running throughout my body but….." she closed her eyes and exhaled heavily. "He is the only one who can break me Rowan, dad couldn't, you couldn't, Michael couldn't, God even Terry couldn't. No man I have ever loved has came close and he very nearly did. I almost died coz of how distracted I was, I can't let that happen again!"

"But Alice isn't that part of the reason why you love him? Because he can make you feel strong and weak and hot and cold? And because he can hurt you but he won't?"

"He did hurt me Rowan! Look have you ever loved someone so much that being without them makes you feel like you only have half a life? Loving them beyond all reason? Beyond sense?"

Rowan shook his head. "No."

"You want my advice then? Don't feel like that. It takes too damn much to get over them, and it will end, don't doubt it!" her voice cold and cynical.

He covered his face and lowered his head. "This is all my fault." he moaned. "I can't believe I've done this to you."

Alice shook her head, "No Rowan this wasn't you. This was inevitable. Me and Danny just don't fit. We tried to fight it for so long and for a while it was good but the differences between us are just too big to overcome. I know I should have left at the beginning but I can't say that because I have my son and I'd never want to change that. Fact remains though Danny and Vanessa were so much better suited than me and…." she released a breath and a tear fell.

He sat beside her on the sofa. "It is Alice. I kept you here selfishly even though I knew that both you and the kids needed Danny. I justified it because I need you too. I thought if he did leave then at least you'd still have me. Then Michael came back and I manipulated the situation to try and break you and Danny up for good."

"What?" Alice was confused. "Look Rowan don't blame yourself. You tried to help. The restaurant remember? You watched the kids for us?"

He shook his head. "I knew where you were going. Paid one of the waiters to mess with your food. I knew Vanessa owned the place and how close they used to be. He'd call for a manger and no doubt she'd go and try to make you happy by offering you wine or something, then they'd talk and annoy you in some way no doubt because you and how could tolerate each other at best. You had what she wanted."

"What if it worked and we made up?"

"I knew it wouldn't. The odds were against it." he exhaled sadly.

"Why Rowan?" not understanding why he'd do this to her.

"Coz I didn't want to be hundreds of miles away from you and the kids. I wanted to get to know my nephew and spend time with my niece. I knew that eventually Danny would go back to Leopards Den and you'd follow. I just didn't expect all of this to hurt you so much."

Alice's face was one of rage, she sat up straight no longer slouching. "I love him Rowan, how much did you expect it to hurt?"

"To be honest I didn't think it would hurt you at all, well maybe a little bit."

Alice was speechless.

"Just because Michael was here!" he added quickly. "I thought he'd help you. I convinced myself there was still a spark between the two of you. Now I know that soul mates do exist and Danny is yours. You need to go to him."

She stared at him venomously. "Don't you think you've done enough without offering me advice on what I should do!"

"Alice I'm SO sorry!"

"You don't control my life Rowan I do!" she clenched her fists. "Are you happy that you're plan worked. That you split up my family!"

"No, I don't want this!" he pleaded.

"Regardless of whether or not you want it, its happened! Your plan worked too well and just changing your mind doesn't make a difference. Do you realise the things we said and did?"

"But you can fix that Alice, you and Danny are scary when it comes to stuff like that, you can overcome anything!"

She leaned in closer looking him dead in the eye. He had never seen her wearing an expression like that before. "Do you want to know how far it went Rowan." her voice icily calm. "For a moment Danny doubted whether Robbie was his son."

Rowan's eyes widened and he paled.

"He doubted whether I even loved him at all." she carried on her eyes growing darker. "He said he hated me, then in the next breath he loved me, almost like that tortured him." silence reigned. "Tell me how we can over that Rowan." her voice never raising once although the temperature in the room dropped to below minus!

Rowan simply stared at her unable to fully comprehend how far this had all went. His mouth agape he rubbed his eyes. "Alice I….."

"Well done big bro!" she told him sarcastically and even applauded him. "Mission accomplished. You helped wrecked my marriage." she narrowed her eyes. "Dad would be proud!" she rubbed her face and he saw her eyes glistening. "Go Rowan, just leave. I don't want to look at you and if I NEVER speak to you again it will be too soon!"

He stood up and walked towards the door. "I am sorry Alice, you'll never know how much."

She looked away from him arms crossed tightly. She didn't turn until she heard the front door close, only when she was alone did she finally allow all the emotions building to finally release. She threw herself to the sofa and sobbed.

(X)

Thirty minutes after having a good cry and making a cup of tea she sat in her kitchen wondering where to go next. She had decisions to make. London or Leopards Den, or more appropriately South Africa. Charlie preferred it over there and all of Danny's family and Charlie's and Robbie's by default were too. Nothing was keeping her here anymore, her main, well only reason for wanting to stay here was to be close to her brother and once again he proved what a loathsome snake he was! WHY? Why go to all that trouble just to split her and Danny up? Why couldn't her family ever let her be happy? Why did they want to see her fall on her face time and time again? Just so they could point and laugh and tell them they told her so? That there had been a question she had asked herself so many times in the past, when she asked herself it as Alice Collins the answer always seemed to elude her. But asking as Alice Trevanion it was as clear as day. Deep down she wasn't a Collins, she never was. Since the day she had been born she was different from them all, and subconsciously they all knew it. It wasn't that she felt she was above her family she loved and respected them all, she just had aspirations for a better life, for more than what Scotland had to offer. Instead of waiting for it to come to her she went out to find it, her fathers words echoing in her mind.

_You'll end up back here alone! No husband, numerous kids to different dads who won't care a less about you or them. Then what Alice, don't think you can come back here! I'm disappointed in you and I don't want to see or hear from you again!_

She closed her eyes and felt her head begin to pound, was she really different? Her dad had been exactly right. She was back in the UK, two kids to two different men. Granted she was married to one but that wouldn't be true much longer, ok Danny did care now and would never abandon his kids. But what if he met someone new, what if he went back to Leopards Den? A weariness descended, she was so sick of being here, sat alone, out of luck, out of love. Alone with zero support, the only family she had left betraying her once again. She looked down at the floor feeling more depressed than she could ever remember.

She folded her arms and rested her head on them. If Danny was here he could make her feel better, he always did. He had this way of making all the troubles in the world disappear, or maybe like they weren't as big when you looked at them in the grand scheme of things. He's assure that that this would pass and somehow they would get through this like they always had in the past and be stronger than ever because of it. She had broke his heart, granted she didn't have all the details at the time but she still did it none the less. What she would do if he was here…..what would she do? Apologise? Hold him close? Kiss him? Or would she push him away coz she was scared. It was all well and good thinking this now, it was her pattern, when she was by herself she would tell herself all the things she'd do with the person she loved and when they were within her grasp she seemed to be push them away.

What had changed? why was she suddenly contemplating starting again when an hour go she was certain it was over! Had what Rowan said really changed anything? She and Danny had still said all this stuff to each other. She had been seriously ill, ok yeah that had been her own faulty for ignoring it but still it didn't change that did it? Ok Rowan had made a bad situation worse but it had still been a bad situation…..maybe the situation wouldn't have existed without Rowan though, or maybe it wouldn't have went as far as it did without his input, her mind told her heatedly. Maybe Danny wouldn't have asked for the divorce and maybe you wouldn't have gotten drunk, maybe you would have went home with him and found a way to make it work.

Her head started to pound harder it felt like she had two people in her head fighting over who was right. The one who loved Danny and someone who told her she was right to be alone. Thing was though, all this had happened, Rowan had intervened, she and Danny had came to the UK to try and build a life. A life that had been built on deceptions and lies. They had tried so hard to make it work, then tried to forgive and forget but it hadn't helped. They had tried to hold on to each other and what they had and only ended further away than before. She had always believed that she and Danny had shared this rare relationship that few people rarely found, they had been built on something solid. They had always came through bad situations t the other end. She exhaled sadly. The truth hurt but lying to yourself hurt more and the truth was the she and Danny were over from the moment he boarded the planed and came home and here she was, where her dad told her she would be all those years ago he was right… a thought occurred to her. Why was she fulfilling her dad's prophecy? This wasn't Danny, this was her. Why was she still allowing her family to interfere and ruin things for her?

She sat up and opened her eyes. She checked her watch. It had been an hour since Danny left. She found herself getting up and running into the hallway to pull her shoes on. Then she snagged her purse, and left locking up as she did so.

(X)

Danny walked morosely up to the house, he had boarded the plane that morning unable to make himself feel any better. He thought of his family, his home, his children and still it didn't work because whatever he thought of his thoughts inevitably returned to Alice and how she wasn't coming home, back to his arms. It was dinnertime and he expected to find Caroline and the kids home but the place was quiet, the front door was closed. He walked up the stairs heart heavy. He put his key in the door lock but the handle turned without it. Dupe must be in, he mused. No matter, he walked inside and hung his jacket in the cupboard and headed for his room. He needed to shower, change his clothes and head down to his surgery to find some sort of normalcy. When he opened his bedroom door he saw someone sat on his bed waiting for him. He frowned ignoring the feelings coursing through him. "Alice?" happy when his voice betrayed nothing.

"Hello." she replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." she murmured.

"Somehow I doubt that." she muttered opening his wardrobe.

"Would you believe me if I said I was wrong to not take your hand?"

"Would it make difference if I did?" he snapped. He didn't know where this anger came from but it stopped him from hoping for too much. She exhaled deeply.

"Why do this Alice? Why play these games?"

"I'm not…..in London…." she shook her head. "Sometimes I'd lie beside you feeling like I had no idea who you were anymore."

"Yeah and I left didn't I?" he told her. "We tried to fix us and it didn't work. I put myself out there in front of Rowan and you still said no. So what's changed?"

"Rowan told me some stuff. How he manipulated us, deliberately did stuff to break us up."

Danny shut the wardrobe door jeans slung across his shoulders. "What? Why?"

"The long and short of it he thought you'd convince me to come back here so he tried to break us up thinking I'd get back together with Michael."

"What?" he clenched his jaw. "So you come back here to start divorce proceedings?" he narrowed his eyes and left the room.

She followed him as he entered the bathroom. "No I came because I wanted to see you."

"I'm finding that hard to believe." he tried to close the door behind him blocking her entry but she pushed passed him. He shook his head, walked to the shower and yanked the curtain forcefully and adjusted the dial on the shower. "Whatever you want Alice you can have it, I just want to be alone right now." or more aptly away from the hurt he was enduring at the sight of her.

"Maybe I want you." and she closed the bathroom door.

He scoffed. "Then why didn't you take my hand when I offered it to you?" and pressed the button to start the shower. The bathroom began to warm up immediately and steam began to fill the small area.

"Because I was scared." she admitted.

"Of me? Why? I'd never hurt you."

"Because you CAN hurt me."

"You can hurt me and I still took a chance. You DID hurt me!"

"Yeah well loving me didn't almost kill you!" wiped sweat from, her brow. It was really hot in here and she'd had nothing to eat or drink in far too long.

"Yeah I know, I had a front row seat to that!" he began peeling off his shirt. "Unless you leave you'll have a front row seat to something else."

"Nothing I haven't seen before husband."

His eyes seemed to flare then he realised and killed it.

She carried on where the left off. "Anyway you don't get it Danny, every man I have ever loved has hurt me in one way or another." she looked at him, he suddenly blurred and WHAT? Why were there were two of him? She shook her head and her vision cleared. "I got over that a while ago but with everything that went on I began to convince myself that you'd do the same."

"Alice I love you." he whispered.

"I know. I love you too." she forced out a breath as a hot flush ran over her. "My fear clouded everything else. As soon as I thought it through I knew that what we have won't ever be gone and us being apart isn't for the best. it's the worst thing that could ever happen actually. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that a hundred years could pass and I still wouldn't be over you, I'll never be over you. Those four weeks without you, when I knew, or thought there was no going back I felt so lost at the thought I'd never come home again. I can't let you walk away thinking that the reason why I…" she pondered the word to use "…left was because I didn't love you or because I wanted someone else, Michael specifically. No one can compare to you and I share nothing with Michael. Charlotte is your daughter, not his."

He stared at her. "What do you want?"

She gave him a small smile as his eyes seemed to gaze at her warmly, unlike before. "Me and you."

"You mean it?"

She nodded. I see my future when I look at you. I see our son in your face, Charlie is right there in your eyes. And don't get me started on your smile. You know how I feel about that, and your laugh."

He walked across the room and pulled her close and held her tightly. "Change your mind this time and I think I'll strangle you."

"Never." she said breathlessly. They stood there holding each other, steam swirling around them. She pulled back, he saw her red faced, eyes glassy.

"Alice are you ok?"

"Can we….um….go…" and pointed to the door. "It's…kinda….hot…" she panted.

"Su…." before he could finish that single word her head seemed to slump and she slid towards the floor.

"Alice!" he yelped. Picked her up and carried her to the living room, after placing her on the sofa gently he collected his shirt a cold glass of water and a cold compress for her head. He dabbed her face and neck. She was warm and clammy.

"Alice….Alice….wake up." he coaxed softly.

It took a few moments but her eyes fluttered. "Danny?" she whispered frowning at the ceiling.

He sat her up a little. "You fainted in the bathroom." reached down and picked up the water. "Here."

She sipped the water gratefully, he helped her put of her coat and put his hand on her head. "You still feel a little hot…" he frowned. "Alice is this connected…" he exhaled. "Could you still have…." he struggled.

"You think this could be anthrax again?" she prompted.

He nodded.

"I don't think so. I think I was just too hot, and I haven't had anything to eat or drink for ages."

"But Alice you don't just faint. You never have."

"If it makes you feel better why don't we go to hospital for a blood test?"

"I'd feel better in you did." he admitted.

Alice stood up and took his hand. "Shower will have to wait Mr Trevanion."

He went to go and turn it off.

(X)

Alice sat on a bed in the hospital a plaster on her arm, after looking at her notes if she came back in with those symptoms she was listed as critical and they were rushing the results through. They had taken what felt like a pint of blood from her earlier and now she and Danny were awaiting the results. She sat back and sighed. They had already been here six hours.

"God the waiting does my head in!" she moaned.

"We could talk." Danny replied softly

"What's on your mind?" she knew that ton, something was irritating him, it was generally her!

He took her hand and held it loosely in his. "I'm just wondering whether we are going to be ok. I can't stop thinking about when you said you didn't love me."

"I didn't see you, I was imagining Michael. I couldn't see you and say that. Ever."

"I know but it was still hard to hear you say that, even in my direction."

She sat up leaned in close and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry. Those words were never meant for you. I love you more than anyone or anything. You're my one." the last sentence a reverent whisper.

"I guess now I'm scared." he admitted.

She rested her forehead on his. "We'll get there. One day in the future neither one of us will be afraid anymore."

He nodded and cupped her cheek. Silence reigned and they just looked at each other.

A knock at the door made them both look in that direction. A doctor walked in.

"Mrs Trevanion, we have the results from your tests. We are pleased to say that you have not relapsed with Anthrax. Your body is free of it."

She smiled at Danny.

"But…" the doctor began.

Her head whipped around. "But? There's a but?" god what had she caught this time? Avian flu?

"There was the presence of a hormone in your blood, a significant amount of it. After doing another test we figured out what. Congratulations Mrs Trevanion, you're pregnant."

Her jaw dropped. "Pregnant? But I haven't…." she looked at Danny and raised an eyebrow. "The fountain!"

Her was soon grinning widely. "The fountain!" he exclaimed and laughed.

As soon as Alice heard his laugh this feeling flooded her, something she had missed and all her fears melted away and soon she was laughing too. The doctor was advising her to contact her gp and organise a midwife but her eyes were glued to Danny. As soon as the doctor left she turned to him.

"You had to do it again didn't you?" she smiled playfully. "That damned fountain is nothing but trouble! I'm getting it bloody exorcised or something!"

"Me?" he gasped and lifted her down from the bed hands on her hips. "If I remember correctly you pounced on me, both times. Pinned me down!"

She snorted. "Too much of a gentleman to overpower me then?"

He ran a hand down her cheek. "Something like that."

Alice's hand found her stomach and she ran her hand across it slowly marvelling over the new life they had created. She looked down and smiled.

He reached across and placed his hand on hers. "How's that for a fresh start?"

She nodded still looking down. "We would have always got here huh?" knowing that this baby would have brought them back together somehow, she was relieved it didn't come to that.

"Too right. You ok with this?" he asked softy remembering her doubts with Robbie.

"To quote a brilliant vet I know, I'm delighted."

His smiled was so wide his face almost ached. "Me too. C'mon lets go home and give our family the good news."

"Together." she added.

"Always." and he kissed her gently, his hand lingering on her stomach, twining his fingers with hers.

**A/N n'awww me loves a happy ending. the danice are happy :) and they have another baby on the way too its gonna be mad btw lol. one more chappie after this then moving on to fin opp att :)**

**gonna check this 2moro, so there may be a few mistakes x**


	59. Living, Laughing Loving

**15 Years Later**

"You wanna rethink that statement big brother?" an irate fifteen year old, easily six foot tall with flaming green eyes, shoulder length brown hair which glistened with blond tips asked.

Her older brother, who stood slightly smaller than her simply smirked. "You gonna make me Danni?"

Danni? No one called her Danni! Her name was Danielle! Ok he was in for it now! She erupted with a war cry and moved so swiftly across the veranda that she was a blur. Danni soon had Robbie in a headlock. He put his leg behind hers and she fell backwards, she pulled him down with her and they were wrestling on the veranda. All too soon laughter was echoing. She rolled put her arm around his neck and grasped his legs with her own. Robbie lost his bearings for a minute then realised he was stuck tight.

"Say it Robbie!" Danielle demanded. He was pinned on his stomach physically unable to move.

Her jerked trying to free himself. "Make me!"

"It looks like I am!" she gloated. "You don't want to be like this when Alesha is here, or I could show her how when she gets here! Big strong Robster pinned by his baby sis. How will you live with the shame!" Danielle cackled.

A car stopped at the bottom of the stairs and Rosie climbed out laughing heartily, the two girls who had came to Rosie as children were there too. Ally now twenty six with a family of her own now and Gloria who was twenty slowly finding her feet in the world. Both still carried scars about what happened to their parents but they were old and faded with Rosie and Max gentle guidance, unconditional love, support and by the family they had gained. Ally and Charlie were still best friends and Ally had been maid of honour at Charlie's wedding. Charlie was god mother to Ally's first child. Both woman looked the same as they had as children, Gloria like her dad and Ally so much like her mum.

Rosie meanwhile picked a baby carrier out of the car, she couldn't help but laugh at her younger brother and sister though she wasn't that surprised that they acted like this I mean c'mon the combination of her dad and Alice's genes would make something wacky! "Hey Danielle he say it yet?" she asked in between laughter.

Danielle smiled and Rosie noted how it was pure Alice. "No, but he will. Won't you."

God help anyone who messed with Danielle, I mean that girl was scary! She looked like their dad but her temperament was total Alice, unlike her mother she was merciless and took no prisoners.

Robbie meanwhile made a mutinous face.

"Tick tick, Alesha will be here soon." and Danielle tightened her hold.

Robbie released an audible breath realising there was no way he was winning this one. "Danielle…."

"Middle name too." she prompted.

Robbie clenched his jaw. "Danielle Andrea Trevanion is the best person in the universe especially better than me. I am nothing compared to her and pale in contrast to her….." he was silent.

"Say it!" Danielle told him, her ruthlessness incomparable to none!

"…toherbeautyandgrace!" he said quickly.

"Slowly. So I can understand." Danielle told him. It wasn't often she got one over Robbie so she wanted to savour this.

He roared in rage and she felt her grip loosen a second.

"Danielle he said it c'mon!" their dad said walking outside.

Danielle rolled off her brother and stood up looking adoringly at her dad. "How was it?" she asked.

Danny nodded. "Great just like I showed you." kissed her head.

Rosie watched their dad and Danielle. There was no doubt who her dad was, father and daughter adopted the same relaxed pose and shared the same disarming grin. Danielle not only inherited physical traits like height, towering over her mother and features like his twinkling green eyes but personality traits too Danielle was the only person she knew who managed to piss off nearly everyone simultaneously but also have them cracking up, and that was her dad all over. Rosie swore she had a hint of Dupe in her too.

Rosie's mind changed tracks when her step mother walked outside grinning. "Danielle is such a daddy's girl." Alice said sauntering outside. "If I had asked her to get off him she would have pinned me instead. With him she looks up at him like he hung the moon and stars, like she has since she was born."

Danny grinned at Alice and winked. Alice felt a familiar flutter.

Robbie meanwhile was on his feet glaring at his dad. Danielle by Danny's side smiling victoriously. "How could you teach her that?" Robbie accused.

"You should know better than to provoke her son. She is too much like her mother to do anything but kill you for it!"

"Hey!" Alice protested.

"You know its true." and winked.

Robbie shook his head in disgust, he was a taller version of his mother.

"Your mum knows some moves. I'll teach Danielle. She can teach you." he looked at Alice. "We'll finally find out who's better." put his arm around his wife's waist. Alice leaned into his side.

At that display Danny and Robbie declared their disgust and left.

Danny and Alice watched as their children walked inside pushing each other. Rosie followed promising to bring the baby out after she changed him. Soon Alice and Danny were alone on the veranda.

"How on earth did we end up with two so different kids?" Alice mused out loud.

"Danielle is a combo of Rosie and Charlie." he told her.

"Scary!" Alice said laughing.

Danny meanwhile had spun her, his arms were around her waist and he lowered his head until their faces were close.

"Can't say I'm surprised she is as hot headed and impulsive and just mad. That night….."

He laughed lowly and kissed her as Rosie walked outside with her son.

Alice pulled from Danny's hold quickly. "How's my baby?"

"Hello!" Danny told her playfully. "We were in the middle of something…."

"Meh." winked then lifted the baby. "Hey there little man, nana's missed you." and she blew a raspberry on his cheek.

"We watched him two nights ago Alice." Danny said dryly. "And he kept us up most of the night."

"You're snoring keeps me up and I don't complain."

Rosie made a 'ooooo' face.

"And how can you not miss his gorgeous little face? Who's nanas bestest?"

"She says that to all of them." Danny told Rosie.

The baby meanwhile was gurgling at Alice while she tickled his, under his chin. Six months old and Arthur, Artie as they called him refused to do anything. He refused to be weaned, he refused to sleep and had a stubborn streak a mile wide.

"He's refusing to eat again dad." Rosie said. "Max wore most of it! He's gonna be on bottles forever at this rate. Summer was easy but Artie…." she shook her head.

"Hmmm I seem to remember another little one, named Rosie who also refused to eat, or walk or do anything daddy wanted. He is just stubborn like his mother." he grinned. "Ah these are the days every parents lives for, payback time!"

Rosie made a face at her dad. "Look at him dad, he's Max all over." And he was put simply his fathers miniature clone.

"You had to come through somewhere, God help you is all I can say!" he chuckled. "How is Summer?"

"She's great, still at her dance lessons at the minute. To be fair I don't think they're working. She still keeps on falling over stuff! She tripped over a table leg the other day." Rosie chuckled. "She's enjoying this though, contemporary dance now. You should see her go!" and showed her dad of a young girl in leggings and a t-shirt dancing away. The girl had Max's face with her mothers brown eyes and hair. Rosie pocketed her phone. "And Max is currently giving Gloria's boyfriend 'the talk'." Rosie exhaled. "There will be hell to pay later!"

Alice winced. "Did she learn nothing from Ally?"

"Oh no, quite the opposite she egged him on, thought it was hilarious. I have no idea how Max didn't manage to scare off every boyfriend Ally ever had."

"Us fathers know that no man is good enough for our daughters. I felt the same!"

Rosie and Alice shard a look. "Poor Charlie!" they commiserated. Danny's protectiveness had went as far as threatening every one of Charlie's boyfriends with actual harm until Alice stepped in.

"Yeah but dad you and Max deciding to double team all the boyfriends is out of order!" Rosie spoke up. "You do know that if you did it once more Charlie and Ally were gonna kill the both of you in your sleep!"

Danny laughed. "Not at all. Just wait til its Summer."

"I pity Danielle!" Rosie muttered. "He's worse not than he was with me!"

"She has Robbie too!" his eyes alight with mischief.

"You heard from Liv?" Alice asked playing peek a boo with Artie.

Rosie nodded. "She's ready to pop soon, Charlie right after."

"Trust you three to decided to have babies pretty much at the same time." Danny declared. "My girls!"

Rosie laughed. "And three boys too, I have to say I was shocked when Liv and Will announced they were getting married. I didn't even know they were dating!"

"I know." Danny agreed. "I remember what they were like as kids and they didn't get along at all! And Charlie has left the nest, a married woman working as a physio. All in all life is going really well!"

(X)

Tea time had been and gone, all the dishes were washed and all was silent. Tea had went reasonably well. Liv had called saying that she was having twinges and could Rosie please tell her how to calm down a hysterical Gifthold man who was sure that she was in full labour and quite possibly dying by the way he was panicking. Rosie asked her if he had passed out yet as Max did that with Summer, it had been quite funny looking back. Rosie left with her girls and Artie promising to call in to reassure him. Charlie had called too promising to visit tomorrow, she wanted to tell her mum and dad that she had finally felt the baby move for the first time.

The highlight of the night however had to be Danielle talking to Alesha. Robbie had left before dinner was ready to collect her, Alice had asked Danielle to behave. Danielle had grinned and Alice had this sinking feeling that Robbie was doomed, Danielle however had been as good as gold….until she found five minutes alone with Alesha. She jumped straight in and asked what her intentions were towards Robbie. After that she told the girl in no uncertain terms that only she was allowed to hurt her older brother anyone else did and they died simple. When Alice walked outside poor Alesha didn't know what to do.

Now Danny and Alice finally found some time alone, the kids busy in their rooms and she and her husband were sat by their fountain recreating a moment. They sat on a blanket, Danny had his back against the wall as water trickled about them. Alice sat between his legs his arms wrapped around her stomach, her back against his chest loving the sound of the trickling water in the dark night. She sighed closed her eyes and sighed.

"So sixteen years ago Danielle was created. What did we do huh?" he laughed resting his head alongside hers, his chin on her shoulder.

Alice laughed lowly. "She's the best of you and the best of me you know. Robbie too."

Danny pressed a kiss to her soft black hair. "I can't believe we almost threw all this away!" tightened his hold as the thought of those dark days of the past.

"It was too close." she agreed. "But somehow it all turned out ok. We have out kids, grandkids and all those years have passed and we still have each other."

"ROBBIE!" they heard coming from the direction of the house. Danielle was obviously furious.

"You warned Alesha so I warned Taylor!" they heard clearly.

"I'd better…." Danny began getting up. He kissed her cheek. "I'll be a minute." Alice watched his silhouette as his form disappeared into the distance.

Alice turned around so she was kneeling and sat staring at the fountain, the cold clear water trickled from the top slowly, cold and clear. She thought back on the last sixteen years. Upon arriving home form hospital everything seemed to slot back into place. Eight months after that day she gave birth to their daughter, named after her dad and Uncle Dupe because they ended up delivering her, in the hospital car park no less! She had slight pains at dinner time by one oclock Danielle had been born, she'd been in labour about forty minutes tops! That was in complete contrast to Robert, she'd been walking floors with him trying to speed things up. She had also made peace with her brother after much cajoling from Charlie. She and Danny had just lived their life, they laughed, they loved and there had been no mention of anything that had happened prior to Danielle's conception. They had drew a line under that part of their life and moved on.

Danny approached carrying a bottle smiling. Even now sixteen years later his greying hair tinted brown instead of the opposite she still felt the same. His smile still had power over her. He poured two glasses and handed one to her, settled down.

"Kids ok?" she asked resting against him again.

"Danielle had Robbie in a headlock again."

Alice laughed. "They'll kill each other one day!"

"Anyway." Danny began taking a sip. "I think it's dark enough shall we begin?"

Alice nodded and they looked up at the sky. Danny pointed and they began.

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

Once a month they'd find the time just to sit and count the stars until they got bored, simply to remind each other of how much they both stood to lose. When finished Danny would tell Alice how much she meant to him and they'd share a kiss by their fountain although since that last night they never went further. By so many peoples standards their life couldn't possibly be described as perfect but Danny and Alice knew better. They cherished every moment together and love burned between them brighter than ever and that was why neither one of them could imagine being anywhere else but here, at their fountain.

Fin

**A/N sorry this final chappie isn't very good i jst couldn't write it but wanted this finished and there we are all done! I have been playing around with the idea of writing another fic around Rax and Liv/Will. Depends if I can find a story for it. Anyway when I find the time going to write some Opp Att. Next story update will most likely be Darkness Falls as i have writting for that, dunno when as my dissertation proposal is due in in 2 weeks :/ EUGH!**

**Thanks you all for reading and reviewing and sticking with it through the angst! x**


End file.
